Diamond Dilemma

[dignon1112]

I might check with another vendor. Surprised someone wont give me over cost for it...given the inflation you could still pay a $1k over my cost and make back some serious margin to the next guy.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Sell privately, if a nice diamond you could sell it for about 30% to 50% off current retail, which might be more than you paid.

Shop around to vendors. Good old gold, James Allen, and Infinity via Wink JOnes all might offer to buy or give better value for trade. YOu can also consign.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I guess I am one of the few who would be happy to take such a lovely diamond as long as it was in a new setting.

Now as a secure married woman I would feel the same way, who cares about some lady from the past long gone But as a dating couple, getting newly engaged, I might have felt different. My husband *certainly* would never have wanted something to remind him of my ex if the position was reversed! He hates that dude

 

[Sparklelu]

I kind of have a different thought process here. You already spent the money, if you never met this girl it would be sitting in a drawer. Why can't you consider this diamond your down payment for the ring ( your savings so to speak) and "add" whatever it will cost once you trade this stone and get her a stone and whatever setting she wants?
This way her ring "only" cost whatever the difference is? She gets a ring without bad juju and what she wants and you really only spentxxx. you have to kind of get over what you think you should get for it, based on what you spent x years ago.
Sometimes it works in your favor DS new beautiful stone comes to mind, sometimes not. It sucks but that's life!
Plus if she wants a different shape all the better.
Myself, if I knew my fiancé thought what was good enough for the old gf is good enough for me I might be a bit twisted! Actually a lot twisted you traded up to get her, now trade up to get her a ring!!! Good luck

 

[kcoursolle]

I'd consign with goodoldgold.com. They take very little from the sale if you are trading in for a new stone there. That will give you a much higher return that selling it directly to a vendor and is much less hassle and risk than selling it yourself.

 

[Christina...]

I guess I am one of the few who would be happy to take such a lovely diamond as long as it was in a new setting.

Now as a secure married woman I would feel the same way, who cares about some lady from the past long gone But as a dating couple, getting newly engaged, I might have felt different. My husband *certainly* would never have wanted something to remind him of my ex if the position was reversed! He hates that dude

...and not sooo long ago either, he bought it in 2010.

 

[Christina...]

I might check with another vendor. Surprised someone wont give me over cost for it...given the inflation you could still pay a $1k over my cost and make back some serious margin to the next guy.

Unfortunatly it doesn't work that way. Maybe you should consider consigning or listing on ebay or craiglist or on our preloved forum. I really think that you need to stop thinking of this as money lost, and start thinking about it as an investment in your new lives together. I think that Elisateach made a very good point, this ring was just sitting in a drawer somewhere for the last year, had you married your ex, it would probably, be sitting in HER drawer now, so you would have been out the entire investment, and would still be looking to purchase a new ring for your fiance. I agree that you should start thinking of this ring as a cash down payment on the new stone.

 

[vintagelover229]

I also would contact GOG-I bet you they would take it in towards a trade in and give you a fair value for it too. Doesn't hurt to contact Jonathan and ask-they have a HUGE selection of ideal cut stones and settings and I bet you ANYTHING you can find the PERFECT ring there for a fair price.

Send them an email with the detailed info of what you have and find a few diamonds that you would like that's close in price. I bet you anything you'll be happy with the different choices that they provide you with

On a side note: I personally wouldn't mind the diamond as long as the setting was changed. You can always present the idea to her and be very very clear it's not about the money but you just want her happy and include her in on the decision.

If you don't want to go that route (considering I'm abnormal it appears from the replies on this thread lol) I would email www.goodoldgold.com and then pick out a new diamond (even an august vintage round diamond which is also ideal but has more of a flower/floral faceting pattern) or something else

I can't wait to see what you do! Congratulations on the upcoming engagement!

 

[sna77]

Same diamond, new setting. If she asks, it's a different stone. problem solved.

 

[0-0-0]

How about sending it to AGS for a new report? Then for all practical purposes it's a "new" diamond with a "new" identity complete with a new report date.

 

[sna77]

How about sending it to AGS for a new report? Then for all practical purposes it's a "new" diamond with a "new" identity complete with a new report date.

love it.. although if the GIA # is inscribed into the stone would it be weird to have them both the GIA and AGS cert on there?

 

[Dreamer_D]

How about sending it to AGS for a new report? Then for all practical purposes it's a "new" diamond with a "new" identity complete with a new report date.

love it.. although if the GIA # is inscribed into the stone would it be weird to have them both the GIA and AGS cert on there?

You can have the inscription polished off. I am not opposed to this personally. New report, new setting... all diamonds are recycled anyways, well not all, but many more than we like to think. But if she ever found out his head could be on a platter.

 

[Rhea]

How about sending it to AGS for a new report? Then for all practical purposes it's a "new" diamond with a "new" identity complete with a new report date.

love it.. although if the GIA # is inscribed into the stone would it be weird to have them both the GIA and AGS cert on there?

You can have the inscription polished off. I am not opposed to this personally. New report, new setting... all diamonds are recycled anyways, well not all, but many more than we like to think. But if she ever found out his head could be on a platter.

I like this idea as well. Diamonds are recycled. If you sold it back to the place that you bought it from they would re-sell without mentioning it's history. It probably has a history from before you bought it as well. The one part I don't like is the potential for her to find out later and any problem that could lead to. Sure you can't just tell her and show her the stone? Design the setting together around new partner and never mention how it was set for the ex.

 

[Enerchi]

I kind of have a different thought process here. You already spent the money, if you never met this girl it would be sitting in a drawer. Why can't you consider this diamond your down payment for the ring ( your savings so to speak) and "add" whatever it will cost once you trade this stone and get her a stone and whatever setting she wants?
This way her ring "only" cost whatever the difference is? She gets a ring without bad juju and what she wants and you really only spentxxx. you have to kind of get over what you think you should get for it, based on what you spent x years ago.
Sometimes it works in your favor DS new beautiful stone comes to mind, sometimes not. It sucks but that's life!
Plus if she wants a different shape all the better.
Myself, if I knew my fiancé thought what was good enough for the old gf is good enough for me I might be a bit twisted! Actually a lot twisted you traded up to get her, now trade up to get her a ring!!! Good luck

I'm of the same thought process as Elisateach - she just said it very well here.

You've already spent XXX on this stone. You are obviously willing to spend XXX on the next stone for this new and perfect fiance to be, and with the original PLUS a bit of extra $$$, I think you will be able to get the perfect stone for the perfect woman.

Definitely you need some input as to what her stone shape preference is. If it is an RB like this - maybe trade for an OEC perhaps ?? Or a fancy cut - oooh, nice! Totally different from the past relationship.

Almost every PS female on here will probably urge you to get her input - do it, save yourself some trauma (at least from US if not from her! ROFL !)

Keep us updated!

 

[Rhea]

Enerchi - If I'm not mistaken part of his internal conflict is that even if he trades the stone in and spend $xxx amount more on current partner, that the stone will be the same size and of basically the same specs. So spending more money to get the same thing. If he's not able to spend any more money - his financial position might not have changed that much in the past couple of years - then he's trading in a larger stone to get his current partner a smaller stone.

 

[Enerchi]

AH!! I see...

Still - get her take on what shape she'd like and maybe it could turn out to be closer to an exchange instead of more money spent.

Sorry for confusing the issue!!!

 

[diamondringlover]

I personally would not care if the diamond was recycled...its a beautiful diamond, to me logically it wouldnt make sense to trade it/sell it and buy basically the same thing, but then again I am somewhat of a tightwad, but I would change the setting to fit your girlfriends taste and if she doesnt want the same diamond shape then sell it/trade it. Good luck in your decision.

 

[Christina...]

I could color my hair and change my name, but I'll still be the same person and this will still be the same diamond. I think your asking for more trouble than it's worth. However, she may have a very different thought process. How about being upfront with her about your predicament and let her decide what to do? Maybe she would be fine with it maybe she will want something all her own, but at least you spare hurt feelings by discussing it with her beforehand.

 

[Enerchi]

I could Colorado my hair and change my name, but I'll still be the same person and this will still be the same diamond. I think your asking for more trouble than it's worth. However, she may have a very different thought process. How about being upfront with her about your predicament and let her decide what to do? Maybe she would be fine with it maybe she will want something all her own, but at least you spare hurt feelings by discussing it with her beforehand.

Well thought out and well said, Christina

 

[Christina...]

ED

I could Colorado my hair and change my name, but I'll still be the same person and this will still be the same diamond. I think your asking for more trouble than it's worth. However, she may have a very different thought process. How about being upfront with her about your predicament and let her decide what to do? Maybe she would be fine with it maybe she will want something all her own, but at least you spare hurt feelings by discussing it with her beforehand.

Well thought out and well said, Christina

except I wont be Coloradoing my hair......stupid autocorrect.

 

[Enerchi]

ED

I could Colorado my hair and change my name, but I'll still be the same person and this will still be the same diamond. I think your asking for more trouble than it's worth. However, she may have a very different thought process. How about being upfront with her about your predicament and let her decide what to do? Maybe she would be fine with it maybe she will want something all her own, but at least you spare hurt feelings by discussing it with her beforehand.

Well thought out and well said, Christina

except I wont be Coloradoing my hair......stupid autocorrect.

I just thought that was some cool expression I hadn't heard of yet... you know, " a little L'oreal or Miss Clairol and I'm off to "colorado" my hair in the bathroom..."!!! ROFL!!!

 

[CharmyPoo]

I would sell privately and take the money towards a new ring. I have no issues with buying a second hand ring but giving a diamond you bought for another girl will bother the heck out of me.

 

[mrssalvo]

Yeah, my hubby was married before. I'm all for a big diamond, even second hand but not one that he gave to someone else. I'd feel the same even if they were ever only engaged. I'd say get what you can on a trade and add a little to upgrade, you might even trade for another consigned diamond and still get a good deal. I definitely would not just have it re-certified and reset and give it to her without telling her. It seems sneaky and just not the way I'd want to start my marriage. If anything, tell her and see what she says. She may be fine with just a reset or she may want you to trade it for something else. Talk to her, she's going to be the one wearing this gift that is from you

 

[dignon1112]

Can't say thanks enough everyone. Solid viewpoints shared from all and thats exactly what I wanted. My plan is to contact GOG or think of it as the 'down payment' method [circa Elisateach] and let you know what unfolds.

 

[Sparklelu]

Glad my random thoughts helped! GOG will be more than fair! They are one class act. Btw Did you see the3.37 M stone he just posted on FB? Its 10k and I know it's an I but I wonder if it could be recut and made real pretty? ? Jon says he thinks he needs to make a video for it, it has fluor too!

 

[vintagelover229]

I'm so happy to hear your contacting GOG. I was searching for an August vintage round for you (they are amazing!) but their link doesn't appear to be working for them. I did however find a YUMMY August vintage cushion (I haven NO clue what you'll get for your diamond as a trade in but I'm sure a good amount-I presume at least 13k if not better just based on current prices) here is a 2 carat AVC that is beautiful

http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/8798/

I totally understand why you don't want to buy another stone-I found one very close to yours with one clarity grade higher

http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/8856/


If you want the same cut but bigger here is an H SI1 that's bigger and still beautiful for probably close to around what you'd be willing to pay with a trade in
http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/8081/

If you want an amazing cut stone that is more unique here is the octavia
http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/7104/

The princess of hearts is beautiful too!
http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/8061/

 

[Christina...]

ED

I could Colorado my hair and change my name, but I'll still be the same person and this will still be the same diamond. I think your asking for more trouble than it's worth. However, she may have a very different thought process. How about being upfront with her about your predicament and let her decide what to do? Maybe she would be fine with it maybe she will want something all her own, but at least you spare hurt feelings by discussing it with her beforehand.

Well thought out and well said, Christina

except I wont be Coloradoing my hair......stupid autocorrect.

I just thought that was some cool expression I hadn't heard of yet... you know, " a little L'oreal or Miss Clairol and I'm off to "colorado" my hair in the bathroom..."!!! ROFL!!!

I wish PS had a like button. Sorry for the slight threadjack, important stuff here.

 

[heather2012]

Hey- you should definitely look to buy second hand. My bf purchased my GIA Triple X, 2.1 carat, H, SI1 (completely eye-clean) for 18,500. The diamond was also set in an over $7000 JB Star setting...the original owner paid over $31,000. The ring had never even been used in a proposal, he bought it and had a change of heart. He paid over $31,000, so the deals are out there if you are willing to buy second-hand.