Diamond Dilemma

[dignon1112]

Greetings everyone. I bought a beautiful diamond in April 2010 for my finance at the time which you were all helpful enough to provide advice to me on some questions I was having (see link and cut and past below). As expected everyone was super helpful. Sadly, I have a bit of a diamond dilemma and could use some advice again as I am spinning my wheels,

The issue:
We broke off the engagement and I got the diamond ring back. I am now very serious with someone else and we are happy as a clam and much wiser and open about our future together. I see myself proposing in the next 6-9 months but wanted to get the ball moving here on the whole ring thing given my penchant for scrutinzation as I evidenced last time (after learning some tricks of the trade from this forum--I ended up getting pretty deep for a first time buyer in all the cut analysis).

I thought I would get a new diamond by either (i) letting my local jewler who made the ring consign my old one, or (ii) leverage the upgrade policy from the place I purchased it at. In my head I figured... spend another $6k or so get closer to a 2 carat ..like even a 1.8 or something with a similar cut. It would be a new diamond but I didn't lose everything on your old one. Seemed feasible to me, I am pretty sure back in April 2010 an additional $5-6k would have gotten me into the 1.8-2.0 space with a similar cut, clarity and color as mine.

Apparently things HAVE changed quite a bit. My jewlers view and mine as well based on my searches on here and the top diamond sites seem to suggest that another $5-$6k will get me...well....about the same size.cut..color..clarity diamond as I already have. Have I really lost that much buying power because the diamond market has skyrocketed for a round brilliant or something? Or maybe I just got a great deal on this thing at $13,900 in April 2010 and thats what it comes down to.

If that is true, everything points to me keeping this same one and putting it in a new ring? Seems a bit odd I guess and possibly not the right way to start my life off with someone but I am not rich enough to drop another $5k to get...the same thing? Yes, sadly, I am a penny pinching CPA/finance type and that doesn't make sense to me..ha ha.

Breaking it down, if my assertions/understanding about the diamond market and value of the diamond I own are correct. maybe my question is really only this...is it common for failed engagements/divorces to re-use the diamond? Not sure why I feel bad about doing it...but umm...$5k for the same thing doesn't seem smart. Maybe I can have it blessed or something to clear my head that it was given to someone else?

Sorry about the run-on story, hope everyone is still awake I would love to hear any comments, thoughts or recommendations that anyone could share. Thanks in advance.


My post from April 2010:
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/what-a-rollercoaster-ride.141757/#post-2550134#p2550134']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/what-a-rollercoaster-ride.141757/#post-2550134#p2550134[/URL]

Well, my diamond search may have officially ended yesterday as I purchased a stone online at one of the pricescope recommended vendors. A 3 month search which included multiple meetings in my very limited free time at 3+ local Jewelers. I wanted to buy from a local dealer but frankly after reviewing your website/forum, I realized these jewelers were not up to speed on some of the cut/proportional guidance and often became really flustered with me when I tried to discuss it (HCA, Idealscope, etc.) But I am a science/match guy and this stuff makes sense to me, the angles, the light..the brilliance...I get it I think.

Well despite being afraid of internet purchases of this magnitude, I gave up on local jewlers, leveraged the knowledge gained from this website and set up focusing on Pricescope preferred vendors.

Picked this one up yesterday,can''t wait for it to arrive, let me know your thoughts:

Shape: Round Brilliant
Carat weight: 1.66
Cut: Ideal
Color: G
Clarity: VS2
Certificate: GIA

Depth: 62.0%
Table: 56.0%
Crown Angle: 35.0
Pav. Angle: 40.8
Polish: Excellent
Symmetry: Excellent
Girdle: Medium - Slightly thick, faceted (3.5%)
Culet: None
Fluorescence: None
Measurements: 7.55 x 7.61 x 4.70

HCA: 1.6 (E,E,E,VG)
Price: $13,900
Vendor verbally said it was labeled as an H&A stone but that really didn''t impact my purchase as even after reviewing multiple PS threads on the subject and idealscope pictures I am not sure I understand or ever see the Hearts and Arrows. But then again I never was very good at staring at those pictures in the mall that you supposedly see a ship in either

My questions are as follows if anyone would like to chime in I would very much appreciate it:

1) Even though i spotted this on the website I ended up calling to speak and purchase via phone cause I was scared about pushing buttons to make a purchase that big (but figured I could have if I wanted to - meaning I figured I could have hit ''add to cart'' and bought this thing). So when I talked to the salesperson he/she said it was at the store and she was staring at it (nice person by the way) and that it was beautiful. So after some discussion I decided to take it and she said it would come off their internet website...which it did. Ok..I promise I am getting somewhere So last night I went on various websites to search for similar stones and hopefully prove I got a decent deal right..not that surprising. Well I found out that I apparently got a decent deal ($2,000 cheaper); however, to this minute someone can still buy my stone from another vendor for $15,900. This is my stone...Why is it up for sale on Diamond.com. Thats my grading certification and everything. I am actually quite perplexed right now on how my stone can still be for sale. Any advise to calm me down would be greatly appreciated cause right now I feel like I am getting the old ''bait and switch''. I can''t seem to put a link in here but if you search diamond.com for the parameters described above it should pop up. I wonder what happens if I add to cart and try to buy this thing, again?


2) Along the lines above, should I get an independent appraisal when this thing gets here. I searched the forum and found a PS recommended guy about 2 miles from my house. Whats a reasonably range for those services? Do I dare ask him if this thing is really hearts and arrows or just forget about it? I say that because of the response I got from many jewelers around here when I mentioned HCA''s, idealscopes, H&A''s etc. etc.

3) Lastly, what do you think of the stone based on the limited information that I have provided? I do not have idealscope, etc. etc.

 

[ame]

Unfortunately yes diamonds SHOT UP over the last two years quite a bit so if you only get what you paid in credit (which kind of sucks considering the drastic increase in value at retail!) you will have to sink a bit into a larger stone with better specs.

 

[dignon1112]

Thanks for the response AME..unfortunately that was what I didn't want to hear ;=(

 

[Amys Bling]

Bad news for us buyers- diamond have shot up! My DH bought me a 1.55 D SI2 Excellent RB in April 2010- sadly for the price paid hem we couldn't get something close to what we spent then.

 

[slg47]

q...do you know if the new lady wants a round diamond? if not then you could trade this one in with the original vendor for a different shape?

 

[dignon1112]

I try to sniff her out on the shape idea. Thanks.

 

[dani13]

That's what I was thinking....If your gf would prefer a different shaped diamond, you can definitely trade your RB in, and probably even get a larger fancy for that matter....To answer your question (and this is my personal opinion only), if my fiance to be gave me a diamond that was intended originally for someone else that would make me upset. But I'm very into karma/superstitions, etc. so I guess I'm not the right person to ask!!!

 

[Sparkly_Girl]

That's what I was thinking....If your gf would prefer a different shaped diamond, you can definitely trade your RB in, and probably even get a larger fancy for that matter....To answer your question (and this is my personal opinion only), if my fiance to be gave me a diamond that was intended originally for someone else that would make me upset. But I'm very into karma/superstitions, etc. so I guess I'm not the right person to ask!!!

I agree! I'm a wee bit superstitious, too and thought that trading it for another shape may accomplish both goals. (New diamond and slightly bigger.) When shopping diamonds, we were able to get an entire carat more with a cushion rather than rb for essentially the same price!

 

[dignon1112]

Thanks Sig47, Dani and Sparkley girl.

Another idea, if clearing my head/supersitions without losing money is important to me I was thinking this may work: Spend a lot of time and the $5-$6k scrutinizing, designing, evaluating the ring to put the old diamond in. On the last one it was just a somewhat plain jane solitaire setting on a tiffany-esque ring (although I did have it made) that cost me $800. I am thinking, if I put as much heart into the ring part of it, even maybe put a couple smaller stones in it, maybe the diamond will seem ancillary in my head....but I didn't lose $6k of buying power. Just something I am noodling on.

 

[dani13]

I can definitely understand your reasoning....And I would say if she does want a RB, then I guess you can justify keeping it, but I dont know if I would tell her the details (does she know already?). If may upset her. I think in a perfect world you can trade it in for her preferred shape if she wants a fancy, and it will be a win-win situation!!!!

 

[QueenB29]

I know you don't want to hear this, but....while I, personally, would be fine with receiving a second-hand or heirloom diamond, I would be HORRIFIED if my boyfriend proposed to me with a stone he had bought for another woman. I wouldn't care if mine had to be the same size or smaller, just that it was different. To me, my diamond is a symbol of my DH and me, of OUR life together, and I would be deeply offended if I received a symbol of his love for his ex-fiance. It would make me wonder how much he really cared about me versus her versus $$$$.

Every woman is different. I'm sure there are many who wouldn't care. But I think you need to figure out if she would mind getting that diamond before you get very far into this process. What if you go ahead and reset it and she finds out a few months or years later? That has the potential to go very, very badly.

 

[dignon1112]

Point taken Queen B...I hear you loud and clear..am sure she would feel similar.

 

[Sparkly_Girl]

Another idea.... whatever you set the diamond in, you can halo it. That gives you more finger coverage and sparkle! (Cushions look GREAT in a halo....)

 

[ame]

I would seriuosly SERIOUSLY consider trading it for another stone, even if its the same shape, and if you want finger coverage, then get the halo setting. I am one who would decline a proposal if I found out that my stone was intended for someone else and or worn by that other person. It would really affect trust for me. What else has this person given me that was someone else's.

 

[dignon1112]

I understand..I was not trying to deceive, just be smart. I will look into trade in options closer.

 

[jrich]

Hi there! I agree I wouldn't want a diamond intended for someone else. if a larger size is what you are after, and if your girl isn't as picky or critical as you and many here are about diamonds, why not taking a look at maybe an I color SI1, eye clean of course? You'll have those that can say they see the difference, but many will say they cannot tell the difference between a G and I!

 

[dmz]

... as I purchased a stone online at one of the pricescope recommended vendors.

I have read reports of some of the vendors giving more than the initial purchase price when doing an upgrade (because of the recent increase in prices). Sometimes even for competitors' stones. Or you might consign the original diamond.

It doesn't hurt to ask what your options are.

 

[Circe]

I agree that you should talk to her- while I myself don't think I would mind "recycling" a diamond, I would FLIP if it was something a partner kept from me. I think your idea of putting it in a well-thought out, pricey setting is a nice way to maximize your outlay as well as making it special.

BTW, which vendor did you buy from? They all have different upgrade policies, and some are more flexible than others. Perhaps your vendor might be willing to swap your stone for one with v. similar specs, simply as a favor to a loyal customer in an odd situation who might then, say, buy his wedding bands from them?

 

[dignon1112]

I bought it at Solomon Brothers in April 2010. I have not called yet to find out the specifics of there policy but am going to dig up the womans card I purchased from this evening. My brother bought a beautiful 1.5 carat, with a great HCA, G, VS2 from Solomon in mid November 11 for ~ $15k. I should have tried to get my upgrade then, may have had more leverage but wasn't thinking. I will give them a call when I find her card.

 

[winternight]

I just saw an F today. Big difference between it and my H. Definitely you cannot use the same stone! And do not ask er how she feels about it because she will feel pressure to say it's ok so you save money. I don't mind second hand stones but never ever from an ex.

 

[Amys Bling]

Give them a call.

 

[Dreamer_D]

The diamond you have is cherry! It sucks to have to "let it go" but I think you do in this case. LAME!

I think you can either sell it for what you paid for it, eithe privately using the new PS Preloved section, or you can contact vendors and see if any of them want to buy your stone for what you paid back then. Or use it towards and upgrade. I think you need to stop thinking of this as losing money, and start thinking of it as just life and times changing! If you had never gotten engaged before you would be buying a diamond today at todays prices anyways.

You could consider selling it and then buying on the secondary market. For example, some reputable sellers on ebay have Tiffany rings and such for decent prices... that would ne something new and special! I know that seems crazy since you ring is also second hand, but even practical me has to agree that I would balk at wearing a diamond my bf bought for another woman.

 

[Amys Bling]

That's what I was thinking....If your gf would prefer a different shaped diamond, you can definitely trade your RB in, and probably even get a larger fancy for that matter....To answer your question (and this is my personal opinion only), if my fiance to be gave me a diamond that was intended originally for someone else that would make me upset. But I'm very into karma/superstitions, etc. so I guess I'm not the right person to ask!!![/quote


Ditto Dani. If your GF likes other shapes then you may be able to trade for something different.

 

[dignon1112]

Appreciate the insight Dani and Amys bling, you are right, I would be buying on the open market and...I would have to deal with it.

 

[Christina...]

If you choose to use the same diamond, I will totally understand why the first relationship didn't work out! I would be so upset if my DH had proposed with a diamond intended for another woman. I couldn't stand the thought of wearing 'her' ring. I would hate it! I'd prefer to go without than suffer the humility of it. And I wouldn't be crazy about hearing that I wasn't worth the additional investment either. I do however, think that trading for a fancy cut is a nice option. Really though, I mostly just think that you've already ate the initial investment, it didn't work, now it's another time, another relationship, another ring, and you should give to her exactly what she deserves.....just my two cents.

 

[Rhea]

I figure no one would know but me and him so I'm not sure I would care about the diamond's history. It's not like it'd regularly come up in conversation or anything. I've also never been in that position so I may feel differently if faced with it.

I agree with trying to exchange it for something similar or a different shape.

 

[backwardsandinheels]

Sounds like you get it about not reusing the diamond. Good! But, I would say for a buyer who is superstitious...Say you bought a preloved item with questionable vibes. You could burn a sage stick and wave the smoke around it while saying something about old vibes leaving it and only love and light (or scintillation ) being allowed to enter. Sunlight is also good for charging gems with good enenergy. Heck I'd appreciate some sunlight right now

 

[Dancing Fire]

I can definitely understand your reasoning....And I would say if she does want a RB, then I guess you can justify keeping it, but I dont know if I would tell her the details (does she know already?). If may upset her. I think in a perfect world you can trade it in for her preferred shape if she wants a fancy, and it will be a win-win situation!!!!

yep,just don't tell her the history about the stone. what she don't know won't hurt her..

 

[AprilBaby]

I guess I am one of the few who would be happy to take such a lovely diamond as long as it was in a new setting.

 

[dignon1112]

Thanks everyone for your comments. As someone recommended, I called the vendor about the upgrade policy and I would only get the cost not the retail.