ChinaCat
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Devastated....
- Thread starter FrekeChild
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Linda W
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FrekeChild
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Thank you everyone. I''d write more, but I''m doing my best to not cry today (doubt it''ll be successful, but I''m giving it a try) and all of your wonderful heartfelt posts have already made me cry because I was so touched.
I think the next week is going to be pretty hectic for me, because ALL of my mom''s brothers and sisters are coming in, that means 8 blood related and 9 in-laws (her older brother died a few years ago), and a ton from my dad''s side of the family too, so I don''t know how much I''ll be around, or really, how much I''ll be posting. I''ve been lurking a lot to try to keep me distracted...
BTW, funeral directors who are going through a divorce, when they meet a divorce attorney planning a funeral... Well lets just say it was interesting and somewhat uncomfortable to have one crying (my dad) and then have the funeral dude find out what my dad does, and then a impromptu consultation where the funeral dude starts crying.
But it was good to have a bit of a laugh about how absurd it was after wards.
Thanks again guys.
I think the next week is going to be pretty hectic for me, because ALL of my mom''s brothers and sisters are coming in, that means 8 blood related and 9 in-laws (her older brother died a few years ago), and a ton from my dad''s side of the family too, so I don''t know how much I''ll be around, or really, how much I''ll be posting. I''ve been lurking a lot to try to keep me distracted...
BTW, funeral directors who are going through a divorce, when they meet a divorce attorney planning a funeral... Well lets just say it was interesting and somewhat uncomfortable to have one crying (my dad) and then have the funeral dude find out what my dad does, and then a impromptu consultation where the funeral dude starts crying.
But it was good to have a bit of a laugh about how absurd it was after wards.
Thanks again guys.
Linda W
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Liz honey, I am so glad you posted. I know how hard it is for you and you can only take it one day at a time.
Your story is a bit funny and I am glad it made you and your dad laugh, it is just what you both needed, a little laughter right now.
Please know, that I think about you every day. Just wish we lived closer and I could help you.
Much love sweetheart,
Linda
xoxoxoxoxoxox
Your story is a bit funny and I am glad it made you and your dad laugh, it is just what you both needed, a little laughter right now.
Please know, that I think about you every day. Just wish we lived closer and I could help you.
Much love sweetheart,
Linda
xoxoxoxoxoxox
Skippy123
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ladypirate
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Freke/Liz--thanks for checking in. You have been on my mind a lot over the past couple of days. Let me know if there''s anything I can do for you--as Linda said, I just wish that we were closer and could be there for you in person.
*Hugs* I''m continuing to keep you, Dale, and your Dad in my prayers. Check in when you can.
-LP (other Liz)
*Hugs* I''m continuing to keep you, Dale, and your Dad in my prayers. Check in when you can.
-LP (other Liz)
GoodSoul
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diamondfan
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Liz, I feel so sad. I lost a parent and losing a mom is especially tough. You will always miss her but in time it will be more bittersweet and you will be able to remember all of the good times. My dad had cancer and died, I was much younger, but still, nearly 30 years later, I admit I still have pangs of loss and wish he could have lived to see his grandkids. But I can also smile and laugh about things too, which is very healing. I am just sorry you are going through this.
bee*
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Octavia
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miraclesrule
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Freke,
Thanks for checking in...okay I can''t help saying it...
Thanks for checking in...Dude.
Life''s a crazy mystery. I am thankful that you will be distracted this week with the absurd, the ironic, the amusing, the totally "eye rolling" moments, because they are the much needed "speed bumps" that will allow you to ease into the loss process after the busyness of the practical/cultural/administrative/legal business of the after life.
It''s hard to have those "try not to cry days" as it just hits you without warning...like a hiccup. I swear it helps almost to be vain. I noticed after the first few days that I had rubbed off some of my lower lashes from the crying and I looked like a bug (although I have to admit that the swelling over the crease of my eyes made them look a little younger, like a mini-eye lift).
I only had three days bereavement pay, but since my Dad died on a Sunday morning, I had four. Waaayyyyy too little to expect me to come back as the desk robot. Suffice it to say that the vain thing didn''t really help, because I got so used to not putting mascara on, that now....over a year and a half later...it only goes on if I have to go somewhere after work, or have special meetings or hearings. All of my lashes were back until Thursday night. And to find out what happened Friday, you''ll have to visit the other thread...later...
My thoughts are with you, as are many of my own real life circle, who knew you through me. I saw two cards today and I thought of you. One is more appropriate for the near future, but for now... "Sometimes we just need to know that people care and are keeping us close in heart...just know that I''m one of those people"
Thanks for checking in...okay I can''t help saying it...
Thanks for checking in...Dude.
Life''s a crazy mystery. I am thankful that you will be distracted this week with the absurd, the ironic, the amusing, the totally "eye rolling" moments, because they are the much needed "speed bumps" that will allow you to ease into the loss process after the busyness of the practical/cultural/administrative/legal business of the after life.
It''s hard to have those "try not to cry days" as it just hits you without warning...like a hiccup. I swear it helps almost to be vain. I noticed after the first few days that I had rubbed off some of my lower lashes from the crying and I looked like a bug (although I have to admit that the swelling over the crease of my eyes made them look a little younger, like a mini-eye lift).
I only had three days bereavement pay, but since my Dad died on a Sunday morning, I had four. Waaayyyyy too little to expect me to come back as the desk robot. Suffice it to say that the vain thing didn''t really help, because I got so used to not putting mascara on, that now....over a year and a half later...it only goes on if I have to go somewhere after work, or have special meetings or hearings. All of my lashes were back until Thursday night. And to find out what happened Friday, you''ll have to visit the other thread...later...
My thoughts are with you, as are many of my own real life circle, who knew you through me. I saw two cards today and I thought of you. One is more appropriate for the near future, but for now... "Sometimes we just need to know that people care and are keeping us close in heart...just know that I''m one of those people"
Rosebud8506
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PrincessDijon
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Gailey
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Miss Freke, I am just so, so sorry to hear about your Mom. My computer has been down for a few days and I am only just reading your sad news this evening.
I know that there is nothing I can say to you that will make you feel any better, but I hope that the huge volume of empathy and support that the members of this forum are extending are comforting to you.
I echo the sentiments about crying. My sister and I used to agree on "Mascara Days", where we would plan to do something nice amid the endless days of sorting stuff out and administration. We tried very hard not to cry. Sometimes it worked, often not in the begining. Losing a special loved one iis tough whenever it happens. But this time of year is brutal and my heart aches for you.
We laughed at the oddest things in those days as I am sure you will. Try as we might, we just couldn''t come up with a reasonable explanation for Mum having 11 shower caps in the bathroom, and I don''t mean the give away ones from hotels. These were the full on frilly ones. We found an array of raffle tickets. We won a turkey, a bottle of scotch and a free seat on a seniors bus trip to Blackpool (we fought over that one!).
Be as brave and as strong as you can when you can, but also know that it''s alright not to be as well.
Warm regards and hugs.
Gailey
I know that there is nothing I can say to you that will make you feel any better, but I hope that the huge volume of empathy and support that the members of this forum are extending are comforting to you.
I echo the sentiments about crying. My sister and I used to agree on "Mascara Days", where we would plan to do something nice amid the endless days of sorting stuff out and administration. We tried very hard not to cry. Sometimes it worked, often not in the begining. Losing a special loved one iis tough whenever it happens. But this time of year is brutal and my heart aches for you.
We laughed at the oddest things in those days as I am sure you will. Try as we might, we just couldn''t come up with a reasonable explanation for Mum having 11 shower caps in the bathroom, and I don''t mean the give away ones from hotels. These were the full on frilly ones. We found an array of raffle tickets. We won a turkey, a bottle of scotch and a free seat on a seniors bus trip to Blackpool (we fought over that one!).
Be as brave and as strong as you can when you can, but also know that it''s alright not to be as well.
Warm regards and hugs.
Gailey
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It is so good to hear that you can still see the humor in life, I think seeing the humor is part of healing of the heart.
I thought of you this morning. At breakfast our younger daughter out of the blue after saying hi to our new dog, then said "Betty" (our dog who died in February). My oldest said "she''s wondering where Betty is." I said uncertainly to her "Do you know where Betty is?" and she said " Yes. In my heart."
I thought of you this morning. At breakfast our younger daughter out of the blue after saying hi to our new dog, then said "Betty" (our dog who died in February). My oldest said "she''s wondering where Betty is." I said uncertainly to her "Do you know where Betty is?" and she said " Yes. In my heart."
cbs102
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