Design dilemmas - how many of you changed your mind and did you regret it?

[BlingDreams]

We've just started the design process for my e-ring and have already had two major changes in thought. The first was a complete shift from what we initially were going for (short story version --> from a very antique inspired, angular, heavy filigreed setting to a more tapered and delicate style); this came about after we tried on the diamonds using a split shank setting and my SO said he now thought he would prefer something simpler than what we had planned on. I was a bit disheartened at first but have actually grown to love what we've come up with (it incorporates several things that are meaningful to us) and can't wait to see how CvB continues on with our vision based on the sketch we sent her. Now we're toying with not doing a basic halo that echoes the shape of the diamond but rather has some curves and maybe some filigree. We know the shank/gallery will have mixed metals and we're also toying with adding in some mixed metal in to the halo. We just floated these ideas to her over the weekend and asked for her opinion.

What I'm struggling with is mostly questioning if the halo design will be too much for an e-ring. I absolutely love those elements for statement rings; I just wonder if I'll get tired of seeing it Every Single Day. And, I think most of all, I'm worried about making the wrong choice. I don't want to have to redo this anytime in the future. This creation process has been special for us and I know it would hurt my SO if I ever wanted to change the setting after it's done.

So how did the design experience go for you? Did you stay the original course? Make any major changes in thought? Regrets? Advice?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

My number one advice after reading a few of your posts is that this is a ring for YOU to wear hopefully for the next 50+ years, and it needs to be what YOU love. It is a gift from him, but his greatest responsibility in this is to allow YOU to choose what YOU love because you are the one who will be wearing it and looking at it all the time! Would he like it if you controlled what kind of car or computer he bought? Please forgive me if that sounds harsh, but I just think different people have different taste and this ring really needs to be what you love since you will be the one to wear it! I am sure he will be thrilled with whatever you choose!

Now, to answer your question. If you hang around here long enough, you will see a LOT of rings being sold soon after they are received and people starting over with another setting design. We like things in pictures but don't have a good feel for how it looks on our own finger or else we may go too big and regret it or maybe too fancy and the ring isn't practical. Many of us struggle with balancing all those factors.

I will give you my personal experience with my antique asscher. There are a few settings I adore for an asscher and I will put those at the bottom of this post. I love them and would be thrilled to have them. However, at the end of the day, I knew they just didn't fit my lifestyle. I really could have done it since the antique asscher wouldn't be my everyday ring, and sometimes I wish I could have both!!! There is no easy answer!!!

So, the first two pics are rings I love, and the last two are the ring I ended up having Caysie make! I love it, too, but it is just more "me".

 

[Austina]

I think diamondseeker has hit the nail on the head when she said about the ring/setting suiting your lifestyle.

Will you be able to wear the ring you choose everyday, or will a very ornate setting/lots of pave etc mean that you'll have to be so careful, it will only be worn on high days and holidays?

I also agree that it's YOUR ring, and you need to be happy with it, you'll be wearing it. I've been married 38 years and I'm afraid even now, I wouldn't let my husband choose jewellery for me, his taste and mine are very different

Not wishing to cause offence to anyone, halos seem to be very popular ATM, will they still be in 10 or 20 years, I don't know.

I read on another thread where the poster had looked at lots of intricate designs, but when it came down to it, they didn't like it IRL or on them.

I'm currently having a ring made, and like you, thought I knew what I wanted, but have changed my mind about 20 times before settling on the final design - not like me at all

 

[BlingDreams]

My number one advice after reading a few of your posts is that this is a ring for YOU to wear hopefully for the next 50+ years, and it needs to be what YOU love. It is a gift from him, but his greatest responsibility in this is to allow YOU to choose what YOU love because you are the one who will be wearing it and looking at it all the time! Would he like it if you controlled what kind of car or computer he bought? Please forgive me if that sounds harsh, but I just think different people have different taste and this ring really needs to be what you love since you will be the one to wear it! I am sure he will be thrilled with whatever you choose!

Now, to answer your question. If you hang around here long enough, you will see a LOT of rings being sold soon after they are received and people starting over with another setting design. We like things in pictures but don't have a good feel for how it looks on our own finger or else we may go too big and regret it or maybe too fancy and the ring isn't practical. Many of us struggle with balancing all those factors.

I will give you my personal experience with my antique asscher. There are a few settings I adore for an asscher and I will put those at the bottom of this post. I love them and would be thrilled to have them. However, at the end of the day, I knew they just didn't fit my lifestyle. I really could have done it since the antique asscher wouldn't be my everyday ring, and sometimes I wish I could have both!!! There is no easy answer!!!

So, the first two pics are rings I love, and the last two are the ring I ended up having Caysie make! I love it, too, but it is just more "me".

Thanks for chiming in DS. We have the same tastes in rings! Those first two are ones I love as well, and the first one is the design we were initially going to use (modified a bit, but the basic concept).

You seem to feel that he's forcing me to choose certain things or give up things I really want. If that's how I've inadvertently portrayed the situation I apologize and can assure you he hasn't done that. He is the most considerate, generous man I've ever known (and I'm in my 40's, so no spring chick!) and he truly wants me to have the ring of my dreams. All he's ever done is ask me to consider other options if he had some ideas. It was my decision to not choose the H color diamond and I did so because I knew that it would bother him; there was a moment when I looked at his face when he was looking at the diamond (and he didn't know I was watching him) and all I could see was concern on his face. That's when I knew I'd never be truly happy with it. And when we decided to not do the more intricate setting it was only after a long talk about what he envisioned and when I came to understand it better and realized I might like it too, it was fine with me. I don't see this as being MY ring. It's our ring. We have a very give-and-take relationship in every aspect and I don't think this should be any different (again - for us - not for everyone). Not once has he pushed me to give up on something I loved or said "no" to anything I wanted. And this new design will be more special to me because we created it together instead of duplicating something that someone else envisioned.

I appreciate your insight as to what you (and others) have gone through. I'm hoping to get this right the first time around and asking questions/reading old posts seems to be the best way to increase those chances. If I seem indecisive and anxious, well, I am. This is "old hat" to those of you who have been here for years and years and you seem well versed in what to expect, what you want, what you like, what you don't like, who to go to, who to avoid, etc. while I'm playing catch-up at warp speed. With a purchase and decision this large I'm way out of my comfort zone and am just looking to get my feet on solid ground. Hopefully that makes sense.

 

[Austina]

Oh no @ILikeShiny it certainly didn't sound that you were being coerced in to anything, just that women think very differently to men, and my experience is that men don't look at practicalities in the same way, well at least mine doesn't

Exciting times for you going through the process of designing your dream ring, looking forward to seeing the finished article.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I am so glad he is not influencing you to give up your own ideas! I've been married even a little longer than Austina, and even though I have a great husband, he could never read my mind and my very specific taste in jewelry!

But your indecision is typical, believe me. I talk to old friends here often and we all struggle with narrowing down the preferences to make a custom setting.

I would say that the disadvantage of a lot of pave is that it isn't supposed to be cleaned in an ultrasonic, so you'd have to be diligent to clean it daily. Although step cuts need to be cleaned daily anyway. Many here have done side stones instead of halos. Caysie could do side French cut traps if you wanted. You have lots of options, and that is what makes it hard!

 

[LLJsmom]

multiple times - daily...

 

[canuk-gal]

I think diamondseeker has hit the nail on the head when she said about the ring/setting suiting your lifestyle.

Will you be able to wear the ring you choose everyday, or will a very ornate setting/lots of pave etc mean that you'll have to be so careful, it will only be worn on high days and holidays?


Not wishing to cause offence to anyone, halos seem to be very popular ATM, will they still be in 10 or 20 years, I don't know.



I have no wish to be pedantic but halo's have been around since the beginning of time. Perhaps, yes, more recognizable in CS rings, but I doubt they'll be going away anytime soon.

cheers--Sharon

 

[Dancing Fire]

What I'm struggling with is mostly questioning if the halo design will be too much for an e-ring. I absolutely love those elements for statement rings; I just wonder if I'll get tired of seeing it Every Single Day. And, I think most of all, I'm worried about making the wrong choice. I don't want to have to redo this anytime in the future. This creation process has been special for us and I know it would hurt my SO if I ever wanted to change the setting after it's done.

Yes, most women will get sick and tired of their setting within a yr...

 

[Austina]

Yes I know Canuck-gal, but as with most trends, fashions for them come and go, people's tastes change during their lifetime, so do their lifestyles, and what suited at the time of purchase, may not still suit a few years later.

None of my friends have halo ERs. In fact, one of my friends has just got engaged, and gone for a classic solitaire, but perhaps that's more an English/age thing.

 

[BlingDreams]

Oh no @ILikeShiny it certainly didn't sound that you were being coerced in to anything, just that women think very differently to men, and my experience is that men don't look at practicalities in the same way, well at least mine doesn't

Thanks. It hurt me to think that I might have painted him in a bad light as he's an amazing guy in general and has also been nothing short of wonderful during all of this. And he and I have very similar tastes in things which is probably also why I'm more apt to listen to his ideas! Other guys I've dated... not so much

But your indecision is typical, believe me. I talk to old friends here often and we all struggle with narrowing down the preferences to make a custom setting.

You have lots of options, and that is what makes it hard!

Well, from what I've seen you have an amazing collection, so all of your struggle has definitely been worth it! And yes, it's the options that are killing me. First world problems though!

multiple times - daily...

This made me laugh. Kindred soul.

Yes, most women will get sick and tired of their setting within a yr...

Haha! Not what I meant . I meant I was wondering if I'd get tired of the more intricate/unusual halo vs a traditional halo (as in it's nice to look at now and then but dont want to see it all the time). But, then again, that IS part of the setting so maybe that's what I did mean .

Sometimes I wish I was the kind of person who could just accept things and not look for ways to improve them...

 

[LLJsmom]

In all seriousness I asked the same question in my setting thread. DS and Yenny have found their perfect home for certain stones. Others...still on the hunt. For me, I've done my due diligence and I've found a setting that I will really like for the foreseeable future. I may change my mind 5-10 years down the road. And I am going to take the pressure off myself and be ok with that. Who knew I would completely decimate my VC Jocelyn within a couple of years. Things change. Life happens. So I will be very happy if I can keep this next one for 5 years. I think I really like it now and can see myself liking it for a long time. Forever? No guarantees. I will opt for choosing what I enjoy now.

I should add that I don't regret for even a second getting my first Victor Canera setting. Even though it is now just an eternity band on my finger, I loved the first incarnation and this ring. It showed me what true quality and craftsmanship is, and allowed me to experience the pleasure of wearing a piece of art on a daily basis. It did spoil me for other less finely made pieces but that just forces me to be more discerning about the jewelry I buy.

 

[Bonfire]

Great advice and insight LLJsmom. There are so many options available and that makes it so hard to settle on one design. I don't know the PSer that coined the term "Over analysis paralysis." So true.
Austina has a good point too. As we go through life our tastes change. I can certainly attest to that! Who knows what you will like 5-10-20 years down the road. Doesn't matter, get what you love NOW. Jewelry should be fun, not a life a death decision!

 

[PintoBean]

If you are not sure, perhaps set it temporarily in a solitaire and live with the diamond for a while. Get to know its personality perhaps. Then when dss (diamond shrinkage syndrome) kicks in, halo it!

 

[distracts]

I haven't ever made any major changes once I began to work with the designer. I have always waited until I was settled on something and knew it was what I really wanted before contacting a jeweler, and from there have only made minor tweaks. Usually I have an idea in mind and try things on and look at copious pictures online and am able to rule things out that way. Like for the halo I got, I thought I wanted a fine micropave halo but when I tried one on in a similar size I hated the way it looked on my finger - it just wasn't me. So I came up with an idea of what I wanted - decorative halo, decorative basket, plain shank, and it took me a year from that point to find a setting I wanted (and that was I think after already having the stone for a year!). My engagement ring was a faster process because I knew pretty quickly I wanted a three-stone, and after trying a bunch on it became pretty clear there was just one that really seemed to fit what I wanted that my husband also liked (we hadn't even settled on a stone at that point). Sometimes I buy stones because I have specific setting ideas in mind already. For me, trying things on often drastically changes my mind. There are rings I can like on my middle or pointer finger but not on my ring finger. There are rings I just don't like at all on my hands - they can be beautiful but not "me."

I don't worry about whether or not I'll like it 10-20 years from now, but just about whether it is the thing I like most now. I know I'm good when I stop being able to entertain other ideas of how to set the stone.

 

[distracts]

Who knew I would completely decimate my VC Jocelyn within a couple of years.

??? WHat happened? I missed this.

 

[minimountains]

Within one years time, I changed my mind 7 times! All different rings & diamond cuts lol. 7th time was a charm
And I thought I just wanted a wood ring from the island we got married on, pfff (Which I do wear it sometimes)

 

[LLJsmom]

??? WHat happened? I missed this.

I upgraded and my new stone did not fit into the VC setting. VC converted the Jocelyn into a full eternity. Th head is a scrap of twisted metal. I still have it somewhere. I'm keeping it.

 

[whitewave]

I would say that the disadvantage of a lot of pave is that it isn't supposed to be cleaned in an ultrasonic, so you'd have to be diligent to clean it daily. Although step cuts need to be cleaned daily anyway. Many here have done side stones instead of halos. Caysie could do side French cut traps if you wanted. You have lots of options, and that is what makes it hard!

CVB ID is going to reset my asscher and I have a phone call with Caysie tomorrow to begin and get in line!!!

I think I'm going micropave, which is ok since I have to clean this dang ring multiple times a day anyway.

I'm excited to see us start around the same time!

 

[BlingDreams]

CVB ID is going to reset my asscher and I have a phone call with Caysie tomorrow to begin and get in line!!!

I think I'm going micropave, which is ok since I have to clean this dang ring multiple times a day anyway.

I'm excited to see us start around the same time!

How exciting for you too! Do have a certain design you want done with the micropave (split shank, tapered band, etc.) or are you leaving it up to her? We're doing some of each. We have definite ideas about the shank and the top (halo with milgrained bezel) but want her to come up with the gallery.

I think Caysie is quite busy at the moment. We've had one initial phone call (when we were interviewing designers) and many many conversations by text since then touching base or discussing ideas, but have yet to receive any actual paperwork from her to start the process. We kind of feel bad that we're practically begging her to send an invoice so we can pay her - lol. We want to get the project officially started, but mostly want to make sure she's getting compensated for the time she's already given us. Hopefully we'll get it all set up in the next day or two!!

 

[whitewave]

Yeah she told me she is slammed today.

I think I'm settled on thin wide set split shank micropave with scalloped basket and micropave. Thinner claws and set slightly higher than current setting:

 

[whitewave]

Inspiration:

 

[BlingDreams]

Inspiration:

That's a very pretty setting! Looking forward to seeing how your design comes out!

 

[yennyfire]

Chiming in late....so, I have had experiences on both sides of the spectrum. My oval is in the perfect setting (for me) and I'll never change it. It took a while to get there (it was the setting I was drawn to initially, but I was afraid it was too much for my lifestyle. Eventually, I bit the bullet and haven't looked back since (see my thread for the long, drawn out version). I am currently in the process of designing a ring with Caysie. It's my first totally custom ring (since my oval and three stone were copies of existing rings, with some tweaks). I have struggled mightily and am probably driving Caysie crazy! She has been so kind, gracious and patient with me. I adore her! That said, it's taken a couple of iterations to get where I want to go (currently waiting for round 2 of CADs)...the first ring, while stunning, was a totally new design and I basically chickened out. The second design is based on something Caysie has done before, so I have a clearer vision in my head of the finished product. I've decided I'm not cut out to pave the way on a totally new design! It's not for the faint of heart and I willingly admit I'm a chicken! LOL!
As for getting tired of intricate designs, I truly think that if you love what you have, you won't get tired of it. Now, that doesn't mean you won't still get DSS! Hahahaha! Good luck with your project! Can't wait to see it!

 

[whitewave]

"Pave the way" lol... I read that wrong. I guess i'm paving all the way...

 

[BlingDreams]

Chiming in late....so, I have had experiences on both sides of the spectrum. My oval is in the perfect setting (for me) and I'll never change it. It took a while to get there (it was the setting I was drawn to initially, but I was afraid it was too much for my lifestyle. Eventually, I bit the bullet and haven't looked back since (see my thread for the long, drawn out version). I am currently in the process of designing a ring with Caysie. It's my first totally custom ring (since my oval and three stone were copies of existing rings, with some tweaks). I have struggled mightily and am probably driving Caysie crazy! She has been so kind, gracious and patient with me. I adore her! That said, it's taken a couple of iterations to get where I want to go (currently waiting for round 2 of CADs)...the first ring, while stunning, was a totally new design and I basically chickened out. The second design is based on something Caysie has done before, so I have a clearer vision in my head of the finished product. I've decided I'm not cut out to pave the way on a totally new design! It's not for the faint of heart and I willingly admit I'm a chicken! LOL!
As for getting tired of intricate designs, I truly think that if you love what you have, you won't get tired of it. Now, that doesn't mean you won't still get DSS! Hahahaha! Good luck with your project! Can't wait to see it!

Oh Yenny, thanks for chiming in! I LOVE LOVE LOVE your oval ring! And now it makes me question again if I should go for the decorative halo after all! Loving vintage jewelry design isn't new for me; it spans decades, so I really really don't think I'd get tired of it but rather love the uniqueness of it. Uggggggh... more indecision - lol.

I'll go look up your thread that you reference. It'll be good for me to read about what you went through.

Did you not like something specific about her first design? Or did you just not want to build completely from scratch? Can you share the design?

And I agree about Caysie's demeanor - she's always been very kind and open when we've talked. I'm looking forward to seeing what she's come up with for us as an initial design!

 

[yennyfire]

If you like vintage, you can't go wrong with a decorative halo! I love asschergirl's emerald ring/setting! One of my faves!
I'm not comfortable posting the first CAD, as Caysie may use it and I don't feel like it's "mine" to post since I'm not having a ring made from it, if you kwim?

It was really pretty, just different from what I'd envisioned and it scared me to deviate from my vision. I'm fairly risk averse when it comes to an expensive setting!