Depression?

[nebe]

Does anyone else have trouble with chronic depression? If you have/do, I'm curious what kind of treatments you've tried that have or haven't worked for you? (ie: psychotherapy, drug therapy [which kinds], DBT) I'm kind of losing hope.

 

[zoebartlett]

I''m sorry to hear that you''re dealing with this, Nebe. I''d definitely recommend speaking to your doctor who will be able to provide you with recommendations about how to seek help. It''s very tough, but you can get through this.

 

[ahappygirl]

I had some serious problems with depression a long time ago, about 20 years - I was 17, 18, 19. For me changing my environment and learning how to take care of myself first made a big difference, and was a long process; my experience probably won''t help you directly. But I am sending lots of prayers and big hugs your way. I am a prayer!!

I have hope for you!! It''s so hard to see the future and wonderful things ahead when you are in a cloud of sorrow and pain, but I promise that it will get better. I know you will find the right thing to help you. I''m sure a flood of help from PS is on the way!! Please be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. You are not alone. Thank you for sending out the call for help!!

Hugs. Hugs. Hugs.

 

[nebe]

Date: 6/3/2008 9:18:14 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
I''m sorry to hear that you''re dealing with this, Nebe. I''d definitely recommend speaking to your doctor who will be able to provide you with recommendations about how to seek help. It''s very tough, but you can get through this.

I am in treatment, I''m just looking for other perspectives. Thank you for the kind words, Zoe & AHG

 

[Kaleigh]

I have friends that have suffered with depression. It''s a hard road, but one that is manageable. Finding the right medicine is key. Sending hugs and prayers your way Nebe. Hoping you find what works for you!!!!

 

[mimzy]

hi nebe,

i''ve struggled with this since high school, and unfortunately there has never been one thing that really gave me a huge boost, but there have been a few things that when in combination has helped huge amounts.

- therapy: it wasn''t psychotherapy, but more cognitive/behavioral, and it helped to a degree. i was in individual and group therapy, and it was nice having the group for support and perspective, and individual was of course nice because it was so personal. i didn''t have a great therapist, but it was still beneficial

- drugs: after trying three or four different ones i settled on zoloft for a few years, along with xanax and eventually neurontin for comorbid anxiety. i think it helped, but it''s really a trade off with other side effects. i''m on nortryptiline (sp?) right now, but it''s more for my headaches than anything). it''s impossible to predict how you''ll react to medications, so really my experience could be totally different than yours.

the biggest changes that helped were made from a cognitive standpoint, and thus much harder to make. i had to make a HUGE, conscious effort to do a couple of things -

- be open/honest: i had a serious aversion to talking about how i was feeling to anyone. i hated being asked and i hated the idea of even hinting that i wasn''t ''fine''.it was much more comfortable being withdrawn and depressed by myself; after all, letting other people in on my sadness only made me feel more pathetic and made me hate myself even more. but i realized that being so withdrawn and quiet was counterproductive and i resolved myself to discussing my day to day feelings and struggles with FI (then BF). This WASN''T easy, because he really didn''t understand, and that was hard, BUT it got easier and he learned to react a little more appropriately. verbalizing how i was feeling helped to demystify the depression a bit, and made it a little more tangible, and thus a little easier to handle. this was especially true when the thoughts crossed over into suicidal (i hate that word). i had a meltdown just this past weekend because the self-hate was snowballing and i didn''t want to acknowledge it. as soon as i broke down and talked/cried it all out i felt a lot more inspired to make the changes that i needed to (which i did, and i''m feeling good today).

- get rid of triggers: i''m not sure if you experience this, but i had a huge number of triggers for more severe depression that i would indulge in on daily/weekly basis. i was most comfortable when i was sad, and i wanted nothing more than to be comfortable, because i was so uncomfortable in my skin. but the sadness was familiar, and thus my best friend. the depression was like a safety blanket, that i really really needed to give up. that meant deleting songs that i knew would make me sad, scheduling every part of my day so that i wouldn''t have time to sit and cry, not reading old journals, giving FI my box cutter that i used for "projects", even staying away from windows if it was raining. and i wanted to do those things SO bad, but i wouldn''t let myself. it was INCREDIBLY uncomfortable for me to give things like that up, but i knew that i had to, and i did, for the most part.

- be accountable: sort of going along with the last two, i asked FI and another friend to really keep me accountable. They wouldn''t let me indulge in my old behaviors and really stayed on top of me and encouraged me. i wanted to keep things from them, almost out of defiance, but they wouldn''t let that happen.

- kept things going: my depression was especially bad when life slowed down. i was in school and worked year round and the redundancy KILLED me. i made sure to plan special things to look forward to or always have a project going that kept me excited. a friend back in high school told me that when things get hard, they have to change. for me this meant that when i starting getting bad, i had to do something different, so i just kept changing. clothes, hairstyles, the furniture in my apt (rearranging), the way i took notes in class, anything. i did everything i could to keep my life interesting.

it was incredibly exhausting and uncomfortable trying to feel better, but it paid off. i still have episodes when i get incredibly down, but i am able to cope much better now. it''s not likely something that you will ever ''get over'', but it can get better. this was all really long winded, and i''m sorry if it wasn''t helpful or relevant, but i just wanted to let you know that there is hope. *hugs*, nebe

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I am sorry that you are struggling with this, it is so hard. I have dealt with depression in the past, and medication has always worked pretty well for me. I am also a nurse, mainly in geriatrics, so I have seen A LOT of depression there. I think that Mimzy has made several wonderful points for you, and continue keeping up with your doctor. If you are taking medication and you no longer feel that it is working for you, then it might be time for a dosage change, or a med change alltogether. And don''t be afraid to talk about it. I am sending you big hugs!

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

My doctors now think I was born clinically depressed and I had my first nervous breakdown at 10. Personally, I have had good luck with drugs, but it took a few tries to get it right.

I was started young, so they would only give me prozac which helped the depression but which had some nasty side effects. I had a lot of trouble sleeping and it gave me very violent thoughts. I never hurt anyone, but my mom had the same problem and it was very troubling.

I was put on Paxil next since my new and very good doc diagnossed an anxiety disorder as well. I actually think that made a bigger impact than going on the prozac. However, it deadend a lot of sexual things for me and made me gain weight.

Because of the side effects of paxil, I switched to generic celexa, which has an anti-anxiety component as well, but none of the side effects and I have never been happier. When I was going through my senior thesis, I was stressed, but not overwhelmed. I have a very stressful job and it does get to me, but I don''t feel dead inside at the end like I used to or like I am carrying the weight of the word.

Because mine was clearly a case of chemical problems, therapy was not terribly helpful, although I tried different types. But for my uncle, therapy worked much better than drugs. I think it depends a lot on what causes the depression.

If you need to, swith docs. It was the best thing I have ever done for my mental health.

 

[2Artists]

Hi there Nessa Be. What a brave post to make. My hats off to you. First off know that you are not alone. I have a number of very close and very dear family members with severe severe depression and other related problems like crippling anxiety. Those run in my family for generations back. I have been in a care giving capacity with some of them. I am comfortable saying that because they are very public about speaking and writing about it to help others.

As others have stated it is very important to get professional help-doctors, therapists etc. That can''t be stressed enough. This is not a pull yourself up by your bootstraps kind of thing. It is chemical. I hope that you will think about it as getting a pair of much needed eyeglasses or a cast on your arm. There should be no stigma to it. One of my family members in particular has had just about nothing work for them and we have tried just about everything. For them the best we have accomplished is managing it not eradicating it. It rips my heart out to see them suffer. Here are some of the things that are more outside of the box that have worked to help some of my family. These things have been used in conjunction to the aforementioned NOT as replacement. Be proud of yourself for loving yourself enough to reach out for help. Here is what has helped.

Number 1: radiantrecovery.com-This has helped some of my family members greatly more than anything and (and they tried everything else). It is an approach that uses nutrition in a healing capacity. The woman behind it is Kathleen DesMaisons Ph.D. She wrote the book Potatoes not Prozac. Yeah I first thought that the title was hilarious too but I can''t argue with the results. She works with mental illnesses of all types and addiction problems, learning difficulties and those with eating issues. She will personally consult with people to customize and I praise the heavens for the difference that she has made in my family''s life. I have a family member who assists people on the site. There are forums for each of the steps you take nutritionally and people will really hold your hand every step of the way. This has been a miracle for them. In addition to the psychological ills they had bad eating issues and this program has been a such a blessing. I do the program myself because I have the same genes to deal with as well. This is not a substitute for medication but they used it alongside medication.

Number 2: Dr Amen-From www.amenclinics.com. Ok I love this dude. I learned about him years ago when I nearly flunked out of high school and was trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me. I had been tested many times for learning disabilities and the results always came back negative. I come from a family of brilliant people, I worked my butt off, I was in honors classes, I was studying like 50 hours per test, I would know the info so well that people always loved studying with me yet I would fail every test so everyone would tell me how stupid or lazy I was though I knew that was not the case. Well I read up and diagnosed myself got in to see the right people. Long story short they diagnosed me with pretty off the charts ADHD and sequencing disabilities. Within mere weeks of getting the help I needed I had just about straight A''s-and I had nearly been kicked out of school before. I was able to get into a great college because of the amazing turnaround despite my earlier grades. At the times I went to a conference about neurology and saw Dr. Daniel G. Amen. He does SPECT brain imagery and works will all sorts of brain maladies from depression to learning disabilities. He is upbeat and positive which a lot of experts are not. He has 4 clinics. He is awesome because he does these 3D brain scans that show exactly where the trouble is so that it can be treated with precision. I have been begging one of my family members in particular to see him but so far to no avail. His writings are great too. You can look on his site to see what different brain issues actually look like. It will help you be compassionate to yourself.

Number 3: flylady.net-So yeah I''m urban I''m a serious artist but I looove me some flylady. This site has helped me and other family members to babystep, do things 15 minutes at a time and stay organized. You join for free and get tons of emails that help and uplift. It is really uplifting and has helped my family a lot though I had to get past a few things that maybe were not geared towards me. I have male and female family members with depression and it can be particularly hard for women because we ladies are expected to run the show and keep stuff together and take care of others. There are a lot of members with depression and the simple routines help them get through the day and get what they need to done even with the dark cloud of depression. It''s kinda a love yourself and behave your way to success type thing. It helps me take care of others and stay afloat myself.

Number 4: Oliver Sacks-One of my favorite authors. I have also had the pleasure of seeing him lecture in person. He is drop dead brilliant and has a unique perspective on the mind. One of his basic premises is that with problems in the mind come advantages and special abilities. His books make you feel great about having the mind you have. I love that viewpoint and I am grateful for the mind I have, disabilities and all. Those very disabilities have given me some spectacular abilities and the ability to better help others. I work with kids and because of what I went through I am able to better help and understand them and spot when they are struggling.

These struggles can make you come out stronger. Think diamonds. It take pressure to create a beautiful diamond. You can come out from your struggles a strong beautiful diamond.
Prayers and hugs.

Female half 2Artists

 

[LGK]

Nessa, it is so very hard to admit to yourself sometimes that you''re having problems like that. That''s usually the first step, I''ve found. You''re very brave for making it to that point. I''m always likely to pretend for months that everything''s OK even when it isn''t.

I have a huge family history of depression, and every few years I have problems with it myself. It''s been much better the last, oh, 7 years or so. Worst in my late teens.

Several things help a lot for me, besides the obvious anti-depression meds. Excercise. That helps me quite a bit, especially if I''m just beginning to get depressed. Usually I find when I have a depressive episode it''s always seems to coincide with dark rainy winters, stress, not excercising, and eating not so well. Also eating breakfast and not waiting til 5 PM to eat helps me. I think in high school my worst depression was when I just flat out didn''t eat for days, mostly because I was finding ways to not be at home for days at a time and had no money. While it isn''t obviously the root cause of depression, for me stress, not excercising and eating not much and poorly when I do always seem to go hand in hand.

If it is really bad, and keeps getting worse even when I try to eat better and excercise, I go to my doctor and beg for some Effexor. It helps quite a bit but can make me manic-ish at higher doses, so I don''t love it, and will usually try everything else I can do first to try to fix it myself. It can sometimes take a number of tries before you find an antidepressant that works, at the right dosage, and you can live with the side effects; if you aren''t doing well with what you''re taking now, try something else or a different dosage. There are a lot of good options out there now, thank god.

Oh, and if you haven''t had it done yet, get your thyroid tested. If you have low thyroid function, which is extremely common in women, or other thyroid problems, it can certainly exacerbate or even cause depression. Other symptoms of hypothyroidism, besides depression, are weight gain (usually not much more than 10-20 lbs), constipation, dry skin, hair loss including body hair, sluggishness, cold hands & feet, and so on. Often thyroid problems are subtle and get dismissed as aging related. I''ve known SO many of my friends (and myself) who have had thyroid problems of various flavors- cancer, nodules, Hashimoto''s disease, or just plain old hypothyroidism- it is nothing short of frightening.

Good luck Nebe. It is so difficult sometimes. You''re not alone.

 

[LitigatorChick]

I have post partum anxiety. My treatment is very recent for me, and consists of Cipralex (lexapro in the US) and cognitive behavioural counselling. I find both are helpful.

Another important aspect that Mimzy noted was being open and honest. I found personally that I hid my anxiety from my family, including my husband. I was too ashamed to admit anything was wrong. This made things WAY worse. Now that I am honest with my family, and in particular my husband, he can assist, support, and understand.

Hang in there!!! We are here for you.

 

[pennquaker09]

Are you getting enough sleep? That plays a major role in depression.


I did see a psychologist for depression for about 3 years. I went through something when I was in high school that made me severely depressed. But I really worked to get myself to a better place. Don't ever lose hope. It'll get better.

 

[VRBeauty]

nebe: I have been dealing with depression since I was in my early teens. Verrry briefly these are the bigger aspects of how I deal with it.

It took a long time for me to get good medical attention, including counseling. Although I was dealing with depression for a long time, I never sought help until some external event (finals in college, a bad break-up, a new job) forced it to a crisis point, and many of the counselors I saw in my earlier days treated it as being situational, i.e. like it would go away when I met the right guy!

I didn''t meet a counselor who told me in no uncertain terms that I was chronically, clinically depressed until I was in my early 30''s. She had been recommended by a friend with first-hand experience with her work. Oh, and I paid out-of-pocket -- I''ve never had a good experience with health plan therapists.] I''ve also been evaluated & diagnosed with ADHD, which helps with self-acceptance.

Al-anon was instrumental to my being ready for therapy and starting to accept myself. I got there because of a tendency to choose alcoholic or otherwise addicted men. It was truly a lifesaver.

Meds. My counselor was not a big believer in meds but I had heard from others that the meds helped, and worked with my doctor to find the one that worked. It took many years for me to realize and accept that for me, at least, the meds will probably be a part of the rest of my life. For a long time I would go off when I thought I was better, telling myself that I was aware enough to go back on when I needed them. The problem is that I can get quite depressed, harming myself at work and in my relationships, before that realization hits. So now I''m pretty disciplined about the meds. Had a baaaad run-in with a generic substitute, by the way, so I pay extra for the name brand that I know works.

Friends. One of my close friends lost his mother to depression when he was a teen-ager, and was instrumental in me coming to grips with the fact that there is no shame in depressions or in treating it.

P.S. to Mimzy and 2artists -- thank you for sharing other options and coping strategies.

 

[VRBeauty]

Back to add:

Nebe, please do not give up hope! Trust me, I''ve been there.... there is a a treatment option out there for you! Please go talk to a doctor, nurse, or whatever it takes to get you through this particular period. You don''t have to find the perfect, this is it for all time solution right now. Just make sure you get through this and give yourself a chance to start looking for the right mix of options to help you long-term.

 

[CrownJewel]

nebe, many of the previous posts have already touched on the advice I would give. Effective treatments vary from person to person. For many years, I tried self-consolation with thoughts like, "once I get to college I''ll feel so much better. I''ll grow out of this." On the contrary, my depression/anxiety began to manifest itself physically, beginning in high school and becoming more and more debilitating over the years.

My arm would shake so that I couldn''t eat soup, rice, or anything I couldn''t spear securely with a fork. I couldn''t play violin anymore because my bowing arm froze during performances. I couldn''t sing anymore. My sense of rhythm and pitch deteriorated. I went to a therapist for performance anxiety but she was no help. My grades started dropping. I got inappropriately angry at the littlest things. I wanted to sleep and cry all the time. I didn''t want to see or talk to anyone, and my excuse was either "I''m sick," or "I''m exhausted," or "I need to take care of my mom." I couldn''t ski anymore. Then in the past two years, the scariest and most disabling symptoms showed up - I started mixing up words, listening to people but not comprehending their words, forgetting words (constantly, to the point where it would take me several minutes to get one sentence out). I felt like I wasn''t speaking coherently anymore. I started to have difficulty reading and solving problems. Decisions that would have taken me 1 minute before, now take me 30 minutes. Choosing a flower arrangement to send to my mom took me almost 8 hours. I couldn''t concentrate on ANYTHING. Every thought in my head was accompanied by dozens of related or unrelated thoughts. I assumed I had brain degeneration.

Some of the therapists I''ve seen were a total waste of my time and some said one or two things that were helpful. One woman practiced cognitive behavioral therapy, and she did wonders for my anger management. Throughout the past 15 years, I blamed myself - "I''m shy, nervous, dumb, short-tempered, mean, obsessive, wasteful, lazy, weak, a crappy musician, intellectually slow, etc" or I blamed the therapists, "they don''t know what they''re doing. They''re not listening to me." I took Zoloft at one point, but stopped because I started feeling better (go figure

).

With this current therapist, I tell him whenever I get frustrated with him for any reason. I told him that none of the therapists I''ve ever seen tell me what to do, how to fix it, what''s wrong with me, why it''s happening. I told him that I feel like he forgets what I told him last week, or the week before, and how can he be piecing this together if he keeps forgetting what I told him? Recently, he helped me achieve a breakthrough. By recently, I mean, last week. He helped me to see that this anxiety may be out of my control, meaning, it''s not my fault. Maybe my biological system is making me anxious, and that leads to forgetting words, difficulty concentrating, feeling depressed, etc. I''ve been back on the Zoloft for 6 months, steadily increasing the dose. I''ve been talking with my current therapist for 2 months, every week, and he''s the first one that I tell EVERYTHING to. Honestly, the most helpful thing for me (for my anxiety at least. I''m quite sure I haven''t been depressed in several years. Any symptoms of depression that I have now are short-lived, usually resolving within a week or two) was to realize that I have these problems because of something else, not because I''m lazy, weak, stupid, mean, etc.

I hope that helps. If you have any questions, feel free to post! I would love to be able to help in any way I can.

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 6/4/2008 6:45:19 PM
Author: CrownJewel
Then in the past two years, the scariest and most disabling symptoms showed up - I started mixing up words, listening to people but not comprehending their words, forgetting words (constantly, to the point where it would take me several minutes to get one sentence out). I felt like I wasn't speaking coherently anymore. I started to have difficulty reading and solving problems. Decisions that would have taken me 1 minute before, now take me 30 minutes. Choosing a flower arrangement to send to my mom took me almost 8 hours. I couldn't concentrate on ANYTHING. Every thought in my head was accompanied by dozens of related or unrelated thoughts. I assumed I had brain degeneration.

Nebe: When you do see your doctor, please insist on a check of your hormone levels in addition to the thyroid tests -- no matter what your age. At one point I had symptoms similar to CJ's, accompanied by a rapid and deep spiral down into depression, that were absolutely, demonstrably due to changes in hormone levels. Suffice it to say I was very young at the time.

CJ: Your mention of "brain degeneration" sparked a memory. I used to almost wish that the doctors would find a brain tumor, just so I'd know what was causing me to be the way I was.

 

[mimzy]

Date: 6/4/2008 11:09:44 PM
Author: MINIMS

Date: 6/4/2008 6:45:19 PM

Author: CrownJewel

Then in the past two years, the scariest and most disabling symptoms showed up - I started mixing up words, listening to people but not comprehending their words, forgetting words (constantly, to the point where it would take me several minutes to get one sentence out). I felt like I wasn''t speaking coherently anymore. I started to have difficulty reading and solving problems. Decisions that would have taken me 1 minute before, now take me 30 minutes. Choosing a flower arrangement to send to my mom took me almost 8 hours. I couldn''t concentrate on ANYTHING. Every thought in my head was accompanied by dozens of related or unrelated thoughts. I assumed I had brain degeneration.

Nebe: When you do see your doctor, please insist on a check of your hormone levels in addition to the thyroid tests -- no matter what your age. At one point I had symptoms similar to CJ''s, accompanied by a rapid and deep spiral down into depression, that were absolutely, demonstrably due to changes in hormone levels. Suffice it to say I was very young at the time.


CJ: Your mention of ''brain degeneration'' sparked a memory. I used to almost wish that the doctors would find a brain tumor, just so I''d know what was causing me to be the way I was.

CJ - most people don''t associate the two, but severe depression is a known cause of reversible dementia, which it sounds like you might have experienced.

 

[Independent Gal]

Hey there Nessa,

Have you tried cognitive behavioural therapy? All the research (and a few of my friends) supports it. It empowers you, plus, it works much faster than psychotherapy.

Another thing that research supports: exercise. Do you work out vigorously, several time a week? Apparently, it is as effective as medication at helping people suffering from depression. AND it makes you buff!

 

[CrownJewel]

Date: 6/4/2008 11:44:20 PM
Author: mimzy

Date: 6/4/2008 11:09:44 PM
Author: MINIMS

CJ: Your mention of ''brain degeneration'' sparked a memory. I used to almost wish that the doctors would find a brain tumor, just so I''d know what was causing me to be the way I was.

CJ - most people don''t associate the two, but severe depression is a known cause of reversible dementia, which it sounds like you might have experienced.

Thanks MINIMS and mimzy. Yeah, I thought that was an important point to make in a discussion about depression and anxiety. It''s such an awful feeling, to think your brain is dying and to desperately wish there was a tumor (MINI, yup, I thought the same thing) to explain the decline of your memory, verbal skills, intellectual abilities, etc.

I hope that people who think they may be depressed or have anxiety, are not afraid to bring this up with their doctors/therapists. I was too embarrassed to say it for so many years. "Um, Dr. Shrink, I''m getting dumber. I used to be really smart, but I can''t really read or talk anymore, so I''m pretty sure parts of my brain are dying." But trust me, it will only get worse and worse and worse and more debilitating if you ignore it.

 

[CrownJewel]

Date: 6/5/2008 1:08:27 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Hey there Nessa,

Have you tried cognitive behavioural therapy? All the research (and a few of my friends) supports it. It empowers you, plus, it works much faster than psychotherapy.

Another thing that research supports: exercise. Do you work out vigorously, several time a week? Apparently, it is as effective as medication at helping people suffering from depression. AND it makes you buff!

A few of you mentioned exercise. It''s true, exercise is good for your body and brain in so many ways. But the problem for people who are severely depressed or anxious is they cannot bring themselves to go to the gym, or out for a run, or on the treadmill in the corner of the living room, or even to do jumping jacks in the bedroom. And it''s a vicious cycle...we know we "should" exercise, we gather enough courage to PLAN to exercise after work or whenever, but then we don''t exercise for whatever reason, and that causes us to feel guilty and inadequate.

My point is, yes, the first step is to get yourself up and out. Keep your mind and your body busy. But if you end up feeling worse, it''s NOT because you''re _______ (insert negative adjective). I definitely fell into that miserable cycle so many times because I thought I was lazy and pathetic. After 15 ugly years, I''ve finally realized that one of the worst things you can do when you''re depressed is to call yourself names like that. I hope it doesn''t sound cheesy or cliche, because it''s so simple, but that was my breakthrough.

 

[lyra]

Date: 6/3/2008 8:46:37 PM
Author:nebe
Does anyone else have trouble with chronic depression? If you have/do, I''m curious what kind of treatments you''ve tried that have or haven''t worked for you? (ie: psychotherapy, drug therapy [which kinds], DBT) I''m kind of losing hope.

I started having problems in early childhood, with my first depressive episode lasting several months, when I was about 8-9 years old. I didn''t receive any treatment until I was 16, and at that time they gave me valium. (197 Luckily, nowadays treatment starts earlier with appropriate meds.

I''ve tried pretty much every AD there is. I''ve had the best success with first Celexa, then the improved version Lexapro (cipralex). I also take Seroquel, which is not one you''re likely to be prescribed unless you have severe mood swings, or heavy anxiety issues. I take a low dose of that, and it really helps. My doc has also recently suggested the mood stabilizer Lamitrogene (lamictal), if I should need something more in the future. I''ve been under treatment for 16 years now, since I turned 30. I told my doc at that time about my deep depression, and he actually didn''t believe me, which was kind of devastating. So I had to go to another doc to get myself referred to a mood disorder clinic for formal evaluation. *Then* my doc believed me. You need to be proactive with meds and therapy sometimes.

The method of therapy that has worked best for me was cognitive behaviour therapy which I learned several years ago. Unfortunately, the doc I went to then has moved his practice and changed his field, but once you learn it, you can apply the strategies on your own. Plus I have CD''s from him to do actual mental exercises. This is worth looking into, even reading about it, or getting CD''s to listen to at first. A good part of it was learning breathing techniques, and mind focus. Then the doc would work with me on very specific issues that I had.

One more issue for us is hormones. Thyroid or reproductive issues can mimic or exacerbate pyschological disorders. I have very severe PMS mood swings (PMDD actually diagnosed). Try to remember that almost all of this stuff is of an organic source. A problem with brain chemistry coupled with life situations can make life miserable. The meds sometimes don''t help at all, or give you extra problems. My current doc says chronic major depression is very hard to treat because it''s lowgrade all the time and ramps up at times for several months in a row. It''s actually easier to treat bipolar disorder he says.

Good luck. Please hang in there! It does get better, but it also takes a lot of work when you least feel like it.

 

[2Artists]

It is so great hearing what others have to say on the subject. Thank you so much to the other posters. It is a subject that touches a lot of lives. I hope you are doing OK nebe.

 

[CrownJewel]

Jeez, talk about anxiety and anger. I just lost a looooooooooooong post. The point of it was, Nebe, how''s it going? (The rest of my post was a bunch of stories...but maybe I will post those later if something relevant comes up.) Do you have any thoughts or questions about anything that has been written or suggested? I feel very strongly about this topic, and it looks like several other PSers do too. How can we help?

 

[diamondfan]

Nebe, I am sorry you are having any struggles.

You are brave to come seek input, and know that so many people deal with varying degrees of anxiety/depression. It is so common, sadly. And there is that stigma still, and people do often like to keep it to themselves. It is hard to appear vulnerable to others.

Medication can do wonders, as can finding things that give you joy, making time for yourself, and not being too tough on yourself.

This is not a snap out of it thing, it is baby steps. It will work out, but the journey can be tough.

 

[diamondfan]

Nebe, I am sorry you are having any struggles.

You are brave to come seek input, and know that so many people deal with varying degrees of anxiety/depression. It is so common, sadly. And there is that stigma still, and people do often like to keep it to themselves. It is hard to appear vulnerable to others.

Medication can do wonders, as can finding things that give you joy, making time for yourself, and not being too tough on yourself.

This is not a snap out of it thing, it is baby steps. It will work out, but the journey can be tough. Hang in there! Come here as often as you feel is helpful.

 

[nebe]

Date: 6/6/2008 1:20:58 AM
Author: CrownJewel

Jeez, talk about anxiety and anger. I just lost a looooooooooooong post. The point of it was, Nebe, how's it going? (The rest of my post was a bunch of stories...but maybe I will post those later if something relevant comes up.) Do you have any thoughts or questions about anything that has been written or suggested? I feel very strongly about this topic, and it looks like several other PSers do too. How can we help?

Thank you so much for your concern. I'm so sorry I disappeared for a time, I hope I didn't worry anyone. I have looked into new treatment and medication adjustments, so hopefully things will get better soon. I was having a hard time living with my FBIL, so I've decided to move back to my father's house until FH and I buy a condo/home within the next year. That may help out some as well, we'll see. I'm trying to think good thoughts and keep my head up. Thank you so much everyone for your input and reccomendations.

You've all been wonderful and so supportive

 

[VRBeauty]

Hi Nebe

:

It's good to hear from you, and good to hear that you're taking steps to improve both your treatment and your living situation.

I hope they help.

Please stop by again if you need a sounding board, or input, or just to let us know how things are going!

 

[spike13]

Date: 6/3/2008 9:54:53 PM
Author: mimzy
hi nebe,


i''ve struggled with this since high school, and unfortunately there has never been one thing that really gave me a huge boost, but there have been a few things that when in combination has helped huge amounts.


- therapy: it wasn''t psychotherapy, but more cognitive/behavioral, and it helped to a degree. i was in individual and group therapy, and it was nice having the group for support and perspective, and individual was of course nice because it was so personal. i didn''t have a great therapist, but it was still beneficial


- drugs: after trying three or four different ones i settled on zoloft for a few years, along with xanax and eventually neurontin for comorbid anxiety. i think it helped, but it''s really a trade off with other side effects. i''m on nortryptiline (sp?) right now, but it''s more for my headaches than anything). it''s impossible to predict how you''ll react to medications, so really my experience could be totally different than yours.


the biggest changes that helped were made from a cognitive standpoint, and thus much harder to make. i had to make a HUGE, conscious effort to do a couple of things -


- be open/honest: i had a serious aversion to talking about how i was feeling to anyone. i hated being asked and i hated the idea of even hinting that i wasn''t ''fine''.it was much more comfortable being withdrawn and depressed by myself; after all, letting other people in on my sadness only made me feel more pathetic and made me hate myself even more. but i realized that being so withdrawn and quiet was counterproductive and i resolved myself to discussing my day to day feelings and struggles with FI (then BF). This WASN''T easy, because he really didn''t understand, and that was hard, BUT it got easier and he learned to react a little more appropriately. verbalizing how i was feeling helped to demystify the depression a bit, and made it a little more tangible, and thus a little easier to handle. this was especially true when the thoughts crossed over into suicidal (i hate that word). i had a meltdown just this past weekend because the self-hate was snowballing and i didn''t want to acknowledge it. as soon as i broke down and talked/cried it all out i felt a lot more inspired to make the changes that i needed to (which i did, and i''m feeling good today).


- get rid of triggers: i''m not sure if you experience this, but i had a huge number of triggers for more severe depression that i would indulge in on daily/weekly basis. i was most comfortable when i was sad, and i wanted nothing more than to be comfortable, because i was so uncomfortable in my skin. but the sadness was familiar, and thus my best friend. the depression was like a safety blanket, that i really really needed to give up. that meant deleting songs that i knew would make me sad, scheduling every part of my day so that i wouldn''t have time to sit and cry, not reading old journals, giving FI my box cutter that i used for ''projects'', even staying away from windows if it was raining. and i wanted to do those things SO bad, but i wouldn''t let myself. it was INCREDIBLY uncomfortable for me to give things like that up, but i knew that i had to, and i did, for the most part.


- be accountable: sort of going along with the last two, i asked FI and another friend to really keep me accountable. They wouldn''t let me indulge in my old behaviors and really stayed on top of me and encouraged me. i wanted to keep things from them, almost out of defiance, but they wouldn''t let that happen.


- kept things going: my depression was especially bad when life slowed down. i was in school and worked year round and the redundancy KILLED me. i made sure to plan special things to look forward to or always have a project going that kept me excited. a friend back in high school told me that when things get hard, they have to change. for me this meant that when i starting getting bad, i had to do something different, so i just kept changing. clothes, hairstyles, the furniture in my apt (rearranging), the way i took notes in class, anything. i did everything i could to keep my life interesting.


it was incredibly exhausting and uncomfortable trying to feel better, but it paid off. i still have episodes when i get incredibly down, but i am able to cope much better now. it''s not likely something that you will ever ''get over'', but it can get better. this was all really long winded, and i''m sorry if it wasn''t helpful or relevant, but i just wanted to let you know that there is hope. *hugs*, nebe

I''ve struggled with this since I was a small child. I finally got some relief with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I swear it saved my life. I had a really wonderful therapist. I also liked that it wasn''t about just talking while someone nodded and then you hand over $$$. My therapist really worked with me in a collaborative process.

I never wanted the drugs, even when things were at the worst. So I can''t speak to that.

But what mimzy describes are exactly the things I learned that also really helped me. Her advice/lessons learned and experience match very closely with my own.

Don''t lose hope! A good friend of mine once said to me "Whenever I feel down I grab a piece of string, and from the string I start to weave a rope and with that rope I pull myself out." As cheesy as it sounds this has actually gotten me out of some dark mental spaces.

 

[2Artists]

Glad to hear from you Nebe I am so glad that you are taking time to take care of yourself. You are so worth it!