Depression

[diamondfan]

Depression is real illness and it is serious, and it vastly affects the quality of life for the person experiencing it. If you had cancer or diabetes you would not likely just decide to not be affected by it. You would likely avail yourself to any meds and other current treatments. This may be simplistic, but yet I hate to hear people say you can jolly yourself out of depression or sadness. A totally erroneous and dangerous perspective. And the meds are meant to balance you, to assist you in realizing that you can feel better, even just a little bit...so that the burdens of being depressed ease enough for help to be meaningful. Depression causes physical as well as emotional symptoms. Sometimes the pain physically is just as terrible as the cognitive symptoms. It is so wrong to think one can just snap one''s fingers, decide it is time to feel better and poof you are better. Of course, cognitions do affect mood and behavior, but a true depressive episode needs more than thinking it away. A bad day, a little feeling blue, that is one thing, but actual clinical depression, whether it be SAD or another form of it, usually needs a multi modal approach for successful treatment.

 

[ephemery1]

I wasn't going to post here because depression is something I've dealt with for so long, and has been such a struggle for me, that I don't even like putting it out there on the board as a light topic of discussion. As a therapist, I also see a lot of overdiagnosis and misuse of the clinical term... and it bothers me. For the sake of my clients who ARE clinically depressed, I hate it when people throw the word (and medication) around lightly... it is not helpful for somebody suffering from depression to hear "oh yeah, I'm depressed too... it sucks" coming from somebody who is fully functioning and just feeling a little down. It is so much better to hear "I'm sorry, I don't completely understand how you feel... but I'm here for you."

There is some truth to "positive thinking", but as it was pointed out, it is called cognitive behavioral therapy and needs to be done in a therapeutic setting, not just while you're lying there in bed trying to talk yourself into surviving the day. And the most effective solution is actually a combination of counseling AND medication. There is also some truth to negative thinking... people really can talk themselves into a completely non-chemical rut, whether they are aware of what they're doing or not. This happens a lot when there are circumstantial things going on... life changes, LACK of change, etc. Those people might benefit from counseling or even a good self-help book (though there aren't a lot of good ones out there)... but medication shouldn't be the automatic go-to in this case.

Back in college I had an ex-boyfriend who was very deep and intelligent and intense, and thought he knew it all. He used to explain to me in detail how my "attitude" was just wrong, and if I would only re-adjust my perspective I would snap out of it. Over and over, I listened to this and wept in frustration. Years later, he experienced it himself and came back to me and said "I'm sorry, I was wrong." He likened it to a giant brick wall being up in your mind, and no matter how many times you throw yourself at that wall, or chip at it with a hammer, or try and find a way around it... you are stuck. And left with no energy or hope to continue trying.

I used to have recurring dreams that I was trapped in a glass box underneath the bleachers of a stadium. As I sat there, listening to the muffled crowd above me cheering and oblivious, having a grand old time, every so often a gush of water would rush in and slowly fill the box. I'd have a split-second to try and catch my breath, but I never knew if my breath would hold out... all I could do was scream in desperation, but the water was so heavy and the roars of the crowd above me were so loud that nobody heard a thing. The water would drain out, I'd have a moment of relief... then the box would fill again. That has been depression for me.

 

[partgypsy]

This is an interesting topic, because it gibes with stuff I was thinking about my own situation and this website. I had gone through some difficult professional and personal circumstances which were very stressful and traumatizing to me before I discovered this website. It''s true I always loved jewelry and gemstones, but I think I got obsessed with this website because it was like a beautiful escape, of daydreaming about designing a ring, or seeing what other people had purchased that was so fun and 180 degrees different than what I had gone through. In a sense I was licking my wounds, spending time doing what I would normally describe as foolish or time wasting, but to me at that time and place (don''t laugh) pricescope was therapeutic to me. I''m in a different place, my life''s a bit more crowded with activities and I don''t feel the need to check in here as much as I used to but that''s okay. And the pieces of jewelry I got during that time are a reminder to me that sometimes I just need to take care of me, and that''s good too. However I do agree with the statement that activities make you happy, not objects and so if you find yourself here looking at all the shiny rings thinking one, or one more, or one more will make you happy and it''s not, then it''s time to take a step back, and take a break from the computer, reconnect with other parts of your life.

 

[glitterkitty]

I''ve suffered from clinical depression for many years, had counselling and taken medication. For a very long time I felt guilty and embarrassed about it - I should be able to ''snap myself out of it'' - and it took my doctor sitting me down and likening it to a broken leg before I accepted that I have an illness.

Like many depressives (but not all) I have some very positive periods when I can cope with what life throws at me and can even look forward to the future. But I also have very very dark periods when I veer from manic behaviour to being unable to find the energy to get dressed, showered or even turn on the tv.

At the moment I''ve been in a very contented, peaceful state for nearly a year. During that time I''ve had the odd ''down'' times, but I figure that even non-depressves have those - so i''m guess i''m just experiencing ''normal'' highs and lows.

My husband has been incredibly supportive of me and is very good at spotting the signals that could indicate a difficult period. He came from a family that had never experienced (or admitted to it) depression, and has never judged me, unlike his mother who told me on our wedding day that I should always be grateful to DH for taking me on despite my problems

Society is changing its attitude, but there is still a long way to go, especially with one or two of those comments posted earlier in the thread

The main thing is, get help because the condition can be managed very effectively and don''t feel ashamed. If other people can''t deal with it, its their probem, NOT yours!

 

[Maisie]

Date: 2/16/2007 12:44:27 PM
Author: part gypsy
This is an interesting topic, because it gibes with stuff I was thinking about my own situation and this website. I had gone through some difficult professional and personal circumstances which were very stressful and traumatizing to me before I discovered this website. It''s true I always loved jewelry and gemstones, but I think I got obsessed with this website because it was like a beautiful escape, of daydreaming about designing a ring, or seeing what other people had purchased that was so fun and 180 degrees different than what I had gone through. In a sense I was licking my wounds, spending time doing what I would normally describe as foolish or time wasting, but to me at that time and place (don''t laugh) pricescope was therapeutic to me. I''m in a different place, my life''s a bit more crowded with activities and I don''t feel the need to check in here as much as I used to but that''s okay. And the pieces of jewelry I got during that time are a reminder to me that sometimes I just need to take care of me, and that''s good too. However I do agree with the statement that activities make you happy, not objects and so if you find yourself here looking at all the shiny rings thinking one, or one more, or one more will make you happy and it''s not, then it''s time to take a step back, and take a break from the computer, reconnect with other parts of your life.

Its weird but you just described me. I sit here day in day out, mostly reading but sometimes replying to posts. I suffer from SAD and this time of year is awful for me. Having somewhere to just hang out with no pressure to be up and bubbly is really brilliant. I have had SAD for about 17 years now, I didn''t even know it was a recognised illness until last year. I hate the winter as I know how low I will become. I can''t snap out of it (tried that but it didn''t work) and I live for the beginning of spring.

That previous poster (sorry his name escapes me) knows nothing about depression. I sometimes wish I could let these people who seem to know everything walk in my shoes for a week in the winter. Then they might change their opinion.

Maisie

 

[Allisonfaye]

Date: 2/16/2007 4:18:11 PM
Author: Maisiebelle

Date: 2/16/2007 12:44:27 PM
Author: part gypsy
This is an interesting topic, because it gibes with stuff I was thinking about my own situation and this website. I had gone through some difficult professional and personal circumstances which were very stressful and traumatizing to me before I discovered this website. It''s true I always loved jewelry and gemstones, but I think I got obsessed with this website because it was like a beautiful escape, of daydreaming about designing a ring, or seeing what other people had purchased that was so fun and 180 degrees different than what I had gone through. In a sense I was licking my wounds, spending time doing what I would normally describe as foolish or time wasting, but to me at that time and place (don''t laugh) pricescope was therapeutic to me. I''m in a different place, my life''s a bit more crowded with activities and I don''t feel the need to check in here as much as I used to but that''s okay. And the pieces of jewelry I got during that time are a reminder to me that sometimes I just need to take care of me, and that''s good too. However I do agree with the statement that activities make you happy, not objects and so if you find yourself here looking at all the shiny rings thinking one, or one more, or one more will make you happy and it''s not, then it''s time to take a step back, and take a break from the computer, reconnect with other parts of your life.

Its weird but you just described me. I sit here day in day out, mostly reading but sometimes replying to posts. I suffer from SAD and this time of year is awful for me. Having somewhere to just hang out with no pressure to be up and bubbly is really brilliant. I have had SAD for about 17 years now, I didn''t even know it was a recognised illness until last year. I hate the winter as I know how low I will become. I can''t snap out of it (tried that but it didn''t work) and I live for the beginning of spring.

That previous poster (sorry his name escapes me) knows nothing about depression. I sometimes wish I could let these people who seem to know everything walk in my shoes for a week in the winter. Then they might change their opinion.

Maisie

I honestly don''t think it would matter. I have seen so many depression threads (one here and other boards) and someone posts some flippant Tom Cruise comment about snapping out of it and everyone tries to tell them they are wrong. The worst was when all the stuff with Andrea Yates was going on and all the imbeciles who were saying that she should be put to death. Clearly, these people have never spent one second around someone who was mentally ill, let alone psychotic.

 

[larussel03]

I agree with everyone here whole heartedly that depression is not something to be taken lightly. I felt depressed for a long time, but to be honest thought it was "normal." Untreated depression, even mild or moderate (as I was diagnosed with) can end up manifesting itself in different ways without some sort of treatment (be it antidepressents, therapy, both, whatever works for the individual).

Therapy and meds helped me get through it and now I don't need the medication anymore...I'm not sure what spurred my depression, if it was chemical, or if it was environmental factors (probably the latter since I do not need constant medication). I don't feel that intensity anymore and, I guess, miserableness, (for lack of a descriptive word) and I don't miss it...not at all. Of course my life isn't all rainbows and sunshine now, I still have depressed moments and food obsessed moments, but I feel in control of them now and I don't let them control me. And the best thing is that I can recognize the signs of becoming out of control and seek out help immediately now.

And I am a pretty optimistic, happy person by nature despite depression issues...i always have been, and I've always been described as giving off a happy "vibe" and my best quality on my sales pre class test was my optimism...and I'll tell you, being optimistic, or deciding to be happy is not a cure for depression, as so many people here know and have said. I had and have a great outlook on life, but I was still depressed. They are mutually exclusive.

 

[justjulia]

Providence,
What I am hearing from your posts is that you are hurting. It's too bad that things did not work out with your ex and that you are uncomfortable around your old friends. You probably need some kind of support system right now. I would be careful how you appear to be tearing others down to build yourself up, here. I am going to assume the positive about you and that you have no real idea how you are coming across on this board. Coming from a family where my mother and brother have schizophrenia, I can tell you from personal experience that drugs are not the end of the world. They are life savers. Drugs react differently for different people and it often takes a lot of time to get the right one/s and dosages for the right effect/s, not to mention manage the side effects. It goes way beyond wishing yourself out of it.

I hope that you find peace with your surroundings. It might help for you to go talk with someone about whatever it is that is really bothering you. It seems like you are trying to get people mad at you because maybe you think you deserve somehow to be yelled at. You don't want that and neither does anyone here.

 

[Steel]

I don''t post very often, but log on almost every day.

I am glad that there are a whole bunch of people do not understand depression, who feel that it is almost a choice. But hear me out. I''m glad, because they don''t feel the panic, blackness and fear that others live with, they simply don''t understand.

For me, it would be too much to bear to acknowledge that the whole world felt like me.

So when I hear/read opinions from people who ''just don''t get it'' - it gives me hope.


(This is my personal opinion, please don''t take offence, non is intended)

Oh, and lots of hugs to all pricescopers and their families who are struggling with depression, sometimes that helps...

 

[VRBeauty]

UCLABelle: Good luck to you. I know that ring won't ward off the depression, but I hope it does represent someone who will be there for you when you find yourself dealing with it!

 

[UCLABelle]

Minims-Thank you so much! I am sorry I am just now posting. I have been a bit busy. The wonderful man that gave me that ring is actually studying to be a counselor (in grad school now) so on top of all the love he gives, he also understands me...it is really beautiful.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 2/24/2007 5:22:35 PM
Author: UCLABelle
Minims-Thank you so much! I am sorry I am just now posting. I have been a bit busy. The wonderful man that gave me that ring is actually studying to be a counselor (in grad school now) so on top of all the love he gives, he also understands me...it is really beautiful.

I just read this. Oh my gosh; you are blessed to have such a nice husband. You sound wonderful too