Dear Diary ...

[kenny]

Wife's Diary entry:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing..' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I
loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around
us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary entry:

Motorcycle won’t start … can’t figure out why.

 

[Gothgrrl]

Oh my gosh! I was reading this thinking the worst of the husband. Too funny!!

Hi Kenny! Saw hi to kizzy, yaya, and puppy.

 

[JewelFreak]

Have you been lurking in my house, Kenny?

--- Laurie

 

[diamondseeker2006]

a lot of truth in that one!

 

[missy]

Haha...are many men really that simple? That would not fly in my home but I just read the diary entries to my dh and after he finished laughing he said while that is not how he would react he could certainly relate and understand. LOLOL.

 

[kenny]

What I find funny is my SO is sooooo like that wife.
He has that kind of drama stuff going on in his head 24/7.

Even though we are going on 15 years together he still imagines up all this insecurity gobbledegook about our relationship!
I admit I used to take it seriously, but now a days I kinda tune it out.
He'll be fine in a day or two.

I surely feel for you straight guys.

 

[missy]

What I find funny is my SO is sooooo like that wife.
He has that kind of drama stuff going on in his head 24/7.

Even though we are going on 15 years together he still imagines up all this insecurity gobbledegook about our relationship!
I surely feel for you straight guys.

I feel for the poor women/men who are with partners who have no clue how to express their feelings and therefore keep them imagining worst case scenarios!

 

[Dee*Jay]

This is so "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."

I have the opposite scenario though -- I am always the one from Mars and my SO of the moment is always from Venus. It's usually like this: "Geez buddy, take a chill pill. I'm just mulling over whether I should have held out for the 4 wheel drive version of Billy Ray and put Pirelli Soto Zero tires on so I could drive all year long -- there's nothing *wrong* with our relationships. Really really. Oh, and can you order me a pizza and get me another Stella out of the fridge while you're up making that call?"

 

[Mayk]

I had to share that one with DH... Thanks for the giggle Kenny!

 

[chrono]

That's a good one. I'm more like the husband though, a bit oblivious because I'm not well versed in picking up such clues and signals, preferring to think of other such matters.

 

[junebug17]

Very cute, and some truth to it!

 

[marcy]

That is very funny and way too close to home.

 

[marcy]

That is very funny and way too close to home.

 

[VRBeauty]

Wife's Diary entry:


Husband's Diary entry:

Motorcycle won’t start … can’t figure out why.

I wish.

My SO equivalent can go on forever about every thought that is part of the big decision of the moment - whether it's a new car, the storm windows on the upstairs balcony, or the width and spacing of the slats for the new porch railing.

I guess I should consider myself lucky.

 

[dragonfly411]

OMG This is Sooooooooooooooooo me and SO. And his entries would vary along the lines of:

- WHY is my coil pack going out???
- I don't have ANYTHING packed for this weekend and we leave tonight.
And this morning "I want a strawberry shake, but I don't want to bother anyone with the trouble of bringing it from the Starbucks that they're already at."
Yes he got the shake.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I don't think that's a man-woman thing at all! The "wife's" diary entry is just a great example of the way that insecurity and anxiety can play out in a relationships. People who are rejection sensitive often overthink and analyze their intimate partner's every move. And they also do not display their true emotions very well, so the partner may not pick up on things.

 

[dragonfly411]

Dreamer - The same could be said for the other side too. Why not simply express what's on your mind so the other isn't thinking you're upset at them about something. It goes both ways.

 

[missy]

Dreamer - The same could be said for the other side too. Why not simply express what's on your mind so the other isn't thinking you're upset at them about something. It goes both ways.

I agree completely. What struck me about that situation was the fact that the husband acted distant the whole evening. I mean, who does that? Why not share what's on your mind... that's what couples do. They don't just sit there in silence the whole evening in their own little world. If the husband wanted to do that he shouldn't have wasted his wife's time with going out to dinner etc. He could have done that by himself sitting alone somewhere and his wife could have gone out with her friends and shared some good conversation and food.

It was a funny commentary and my dh and I had a good laugh but IRL I am glad neither of us acts that way. To each his/her own though.

 

[dragonfly411]

And quite honestly, she might have been able to offer helpful thoughts on the motorcycle.

SO and I are somewhat like this (soooo was an over emphasizing on my part). I do have the "I wonder if he's upset with me" thought and I'll ask him. Generally it is something so silly that's bothering him, and it takes a while to get him to converse. Sometimes he's purely embarrassed to express it, like when he doesn't want someone going out of their way to bring him a strawberry shake, or when he doesn't understand how the new pull tabs on popcorn bags work. Sometimes he is so incredibly frustrated at not being able to find the answer, like when his coil packs go out and the check engine light isn't on so he can't run diagnostics. Sometimes he is angry at himself because he expects too much of himself. I think it's important to allow a person the time to brood a little, but then to coax/pull them to converse about the problem, as many times it is truly something they're mulling over internally, and many times another perspective can be helpful for them.

 

[LaraOnline]

I don't think that's a man-woman thing at all! The "wife's" diary entry is just a great example of the way that insecurity and anxiety can play out in a relationships. People who are rejection sensitive often overthink and analyze their intimate partner's every move. And they also do not display their true emotions very well, so the partner may not pick up on things.

How true! And, I believe, that insecurity is often smoothed over by age, and by the acceptance of 'true love'.
I can't imagine living in the head of the 'wife' in that scenario, how exhausting for all parties!!
And yet, when I think back to my young self, I suspect I was quite a bit like that...with a very inappropriate 'almost fiance'.

Having the right man helps a lot.... although after I was married I did internally rage quite a bit about 'how boring' life had become...
But now I've accepted my fate
and I don't get het up like the wife anymore