Dealing with the financial crisis

[Thomperchik]

Hello everyone. I''m hoping I can get some advice. I work in the financial industry and I work for an Ops group that is part of a large financial firm. My firm was recently bought out by a big bank and there''s the stress of uncertainty of what’s next. I''m sitting here at work taking a break from today. I usually come into work in a good mood and try not to think about whether or not I''ll have a job in the next few days, or months, or next year for that matter. However, I feel that everyone just has to rub off their negative attitudes on me. Specially the folks that we work with in the financial district. I feel like as soon as they hear me talking on the phone, they always want to ruin my day. For instance, I was in a conference call yesterday and someone I work with asked my why I was so cheery. He followed by saying, "I don''t understand why you''re so happy. I guess you don''t understand what the company is going through." That really upset me! I mean, should I be Debbie the downer and be down and upset about our current situation, or should I be positive and hope for the best? I just don''t understand/know how I should be feeling at this time. Not to mention that my SO is deployed overseas and I want to remain strong so that he can be strong for me. I just feel overwhelmed and not sure if I should be as upset as everyone else.

Any advice? Any of you going through the same thing?

 

[decodelighted]

Its not "fair" to temper your attitude and cheerfulness for the sake of others ... but it IS practical. Its about reading a room, meeting other people's energy levels ... getting along. When everyone thinks the sky is falling, someone with the OPPOSITE attitude will always be a target. You threaten their own sense of reality. They'll try to knock you down -- it's called "leveling" to get psychological on ya. Being *oblivious* to what's going on around you isn't ideal for getting along etc.

If your boss's mom just died ... would you breeze in all cheerful & peppy? Or would you adopt a more somber manner out of consideration for his mood? Yanno?

As far as you PERSONALLY feel -- that's up to you. Your internal mood doesn't have to be impacted by your *behavior*. Does that make sense?

 

[FireGoddess]

I can see what deco is saying. Along those lines, I probably wouldn''t be acting like I won the lottery or anything. But I doubt that''s what you''re doing. Next time someone says something of that nature to you, I would probably say, ''I completely understand what''s going on with the company. I also understand that whether or not I mope around about it, what''s going to happen is going to happen all the same.''

 

[diamondsrock]

You''re in a really tough spot right now. When everyone is miserable, they want you to be miserable, too. I know it''s hard to work in an environment like that. My office is very negative right now and it makes for a very long day. I know my attitude lately hasn''t helped either, so I can''t say I''m not guilty of this as well. And there is something to be said for everyone complaining together. It actually does bond people together to a point as you can all relate to one another.

You don''t want to run around doing cartwheels or anything, but you do have to get through the day nonetheless. And it''s not like you''re super happy there, you''re just trying to make your day somewhat tolerable. You don''t want to seem like you can''t relate to what they are going through. You are going through the same thing after all.

Deco mentioned:
"Your internal mood doesn''t have to be impacted by your *behavior*. Does that make sense?"

I wish this was true, at least in my case, but I have to disagree. Have you ever gone through a day around miserable people, then acted yourself miserable to fit in, and actually felt good about that day? I really doubt it. How you behave can affect how you feel. That''s why even when I fake being happy and friendly, when I''m not really feeling it that day, it does lighten my mood somewhat, probably because it lightens the moods of people around me, therefore making me happier. When I am feeling down and push myself to go for a walk, I feel better because of that action, both physically and emotionally. When I''m having a crap day myself but reach out and am friendly to someone at work with a kind comment or compliment, I feel better. So yes, I do believe that acting miserable to fit in will make you unhappy, even if not at first, it will eventually the longer you do it. If I were you, I''d try to keep your chin up and, as long as you are sensitive to others feelings, and aren''t running around making jokes all day, try to make it the best day you can for yourself. I know when my coworkers are happy I am actually happier myself, so it''s too bad you are getting this reaction from your coworkers. It''s like they are angry at your positive attitude.

 

[Thomperchik]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I agree with what you all say. I refuse to give up my positive attitude over others. I know there''s light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully the industry will get better soon!