De-lurking for Good?

[Aloros]

Hi all. I posted an introductory post back in May about me and my boyfriend of 5.5 years. Shortly after that post, I found out that he hadn''t been exactly honest with me concerning his graduation date. He''d been kicked out from the school we met at, twice, and wasn''t doing much better at the local community college. At that point, I just knew that nothing I could ever do would ever make him grow up. I had pushed, pulled, cajoled, supported, said nothing, and none of it did much good. He kept telling me he would change, or if I would only do _____, then things would work out. I stopped believing. I didn''t care so much about his degree, but the fact that he wouldn''t take action in any direction drove me crazy. That, combined with other incompatibility issues, led to me breaking up with him for good.

I guess all things happen for a reason. There was a guy at work who I, admittedly, had a bit of a crush on - devastatingly good-looking, intelligent, funny, hard-working, well-read - out of my league, right? We chatted once in a while and exchanged reading material. After my breakup, feeling bold, I invited him out to a 4th of July BBQ. From there, he asked me out (he had to ask three times since I was feeling uncertain about dating again, but I''m glad he was persistent!). Our first date was amazing, ending in the wee hours of the morning, and with a kiss

.

It turns out that he''d had a crush on me, ever since we first met. We''ve been with one another for a little over five months now, and I can''t help but fall more and more in love each day. I''ve never met someone who was so well suited to me. We enjoy the same activities, carry the same opinions, and even have similar habits (his best friend says I''m the female version of him). He treats me so well that it''s a joy to spoil him when I have the chance. Neither of us are romantic by nature, but I guess we just bring it out in one another - but shhh! We''ve vowed not to tell anyone so we can maintain our reputations.

I just know that this is the guy I''m going to spend the rest of my life with. I''ve even caught him, a couple times, when he thinks I''m sleeping, asking me to marry him.

I''m not ready to be put on the list yet, I have a one-year minimum dating before engagement anyways, but just wanted to say that now that I''ve finally found "the one" or "a one" or however you look at it, I''ll probably be around more often. For now, I''m just enjoying all the time I get to spend with the most amazing guy I''ve ever met (we''re going to Thailand together in a couple months!

).

Good luck to all the ladies waiting for a holiday engagement!

 

[poptart]

YAY!!! That''s great!!

*M*

 

[ImpatientOne]

Sounds like you found a keeper!!! I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Seems like many of us have to kiss a frog or two (or MANY in my case, lol) before we find our prince.

Best wishes!

 

[janinegirly]

sounds like something out of a movie! (and you both seem very in love..awwww). Looks like you''ll be on the list soon!
I don''t remember your initial post though..so maybe you''ll have to reintroduce yourself. As for your ex, it must have been painful for him, have you stayed in touch? It sounds like you were truly incompatible--your story is a great example of how letting something/someone go when it''s clearly not working (even if it''s been a very long realtionship) can free up all sorts of aveunes so life (and love) can fall into place!

 

[lehcarm]

What a great story. A lot of us have dealt with many wrong guys (liars, cheaters, jerks) before we get to "The One." I''m jealous of all the women who get lucky their first time!

 

[ImpatientOne]

Date: 12/13/2006 2:45:30 PM
Author: lehcarm
What a great story. A lot of us have dealt with many wrong guys (liars, cheaters, jerks) before we get to ''The One.'' I''m jealous of all the women who get lucky their first time!

I dunno - I think going thru the jerks just makes us appreciate the good ones all the more

 

[poptart]

Date: 12/13/2006 2:48:09 PM
Author: ImpatientOne

Date: 12/13/2006 2:45:30 PM
Author: lehcarm
What a great story. A lot of us have dealt with many wrong guys (liars, cheaters, jerks) before we get to ''The One.'' I''m jealous of all the women who get lucky their first time!

I dunno - I think going thru the jerks just makes us appreciate the good ones all the more

Hey now! I appreciate the fact that I didn''t have to go through the jerks, which makes me understand how lucky I am!

 

[lehcarm]

Geez, I didn''t mean to start anything. I agree that going through some jerks can make you treasure "the one" even more, but I do think it would have been nice to have spared from their jerkiness (or at least some of it). Just my opinion.

 

[poptart]

Date: 12/13/2006 3:02:14 PM
Author: lehcarm
Geez, I didn''t mean to start anything. I agree that going through some jerks can make you treasure ''the one'' even more, but I do think it would have been nice to have spared from their jerkiness (or at least some of it). Just my opinion.

Don''t worry, you didn''t start anything!

*M*

 

[lehcarm]

OK, I won''t

 

[Hopes]

Date: 12/13/2006 1:45:51 PM
Author:Aloros
Hi all. I posted an introductory post back in May about me and my boyfriend of 5.5 years. Shortly after that post, I found out that he hadn't been exactly honest with me concerning his graduation date. He'd been kicked out from the school we met at, twice, and wasn't doing much better at the local community college. At that point, I just knew that nothing I could ever do would ever make him grow up. I had pushed, pulled, cajoled, supported, said nothing, and none of it did much good. He kept telling me he would change, or if I would only do _____, then things would work out. I stopped believing. I didn't care so much about his degree, but the fact that he wouldn't take action in any direction drove me crazy. That, combined with other incompatibility issues, led to me breaking up with him for good.

I guess all things happen for a reason. There was a guy at work who I, admittedly, had a bit of a crush on - devastatingly good-looking, intelligent, funny, hard-working, well-read - out of my league, right? We chatted once in a while and exchanged reading material. After my breakup, feeling bold, I invited him out to a 4th of July BBQ. From there, he asked me out (he had to ask three times since I was feeling uncertain about dating again, but I'm glad he was persistent!). Our first date was amazing, ending in the wee hours of the morning, and with a kiss

.

It turns out that he'd had a crush on me, ever since we first met. We've been with one another for a little over five months now, and I can't help but fall more and more in love each day. I've never met someone who was so well suited to me. We enjoy the same activities, carry the same opinions, and even have similar habits (his best friend says I'm the female version of him). He treats me so well that it's a joy to spoil him when I have the chance. Neither of us are romantic by nature, but I guess we just bring it out in one another - but shhh! We've vowed not to tell anyone so we can maintain our reputations.

I just know that this is the guy I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I've even caught him, a couple times, when he thinks I'm sleeping, asking me to marry him.

I'm not ready to be put on the list yet, I have a one-year minimum dating before engagement anyways, but just wanted to say that now that I've finally found 'the one' or 'a one' or however you look at it, I'll probably be around more often. For now, I'm just enjoying all the time I get to spend with the most amazing guy I've ever met (we're going to Thailand together in a couple months!

).

Good luck to all the ladies waiting for a holiday engagement!

What a great story... I am thrilled for you! Yours is exactly what a great relationship sounds like, with two people who love each other and are so compatible for each other sharing the same activities and dancing on the same page! Hope your Christmas will be wonderful!

 

[anchor31]

He sounds very sweet! Good luck!

 

[ljmorgan]

Date: 12/13/2006 1:45:51 PM
Author:Aloros
I''ve even caught him, a couple times, when he thinks I''m sleeping, asking me to marry him.

That is sooo cute! I am really excited for you, he sounds wonderful!

 

[piccolascimmia]

Awww, what a great story! I''m a firm believer in things happening for unknown reasons...and you''re a perfect example.

Asking you to marry him when he thinks you''re sleeping? That''s fabulous...

 

[bee*]

wow congratuations!! It certainly seesm that you found the right guy for you! He sounds fantastic!

 

[Aloros]

Awww, you guys are so sweet! As a re-introduction...hm...I''m 24, live in California, work for the state full-time, do part-time illustration work, and I''ve got seven chapters left to write in my first novel. Hurrah! I have two cats who I absolutely adore, a fish tank (cat TV, right?), and I like to ride my bicycle instead of driving, when possible. I''m living without roommates for the first time in my life and loving it. I read an excessive amount, LOVE traveling, but hate airplanes. I think that''s me summed up in a paragraph!

He likes the fact that we have a good story. I think I just about melted when he was telling me that.
janinegirly - I do have some regrets about my current relationship with my ex. We don''t speak anymore. He told me he was doing well after our breakup, and naively, I believed him - so I thought it would be fine if I started dating someone else. WRONG. Things went all haywire after that. I''m a little sad, that after 5.5 years, we aren''t even friends, but on the other hand, I don''t know that we had enough in common to sustain a friendship.

I''m looking forward to my first Christmas with my new man. I got him all sorts of goodies, and he keeps telling me how much he''s spoiling me. He''s so funny. He keeps telling me, at random intervals, to stay out of his closet! I''ve been good and haven''t peeked. I really do like being surprised - although I ended up buying an article of clothing he''d apparently already got me as part of my Christmas gift! So I suppose we have similar tastes as well. We''re spending a day to have an "us" Christmas before going to visit our respective families.