Home Date Nights

[House Cat]

How often do you and your spouse have a date night? How often do you and your spouse take vacations that are just the two of you?


We have four children and we never do either of these things. I''m thinking this isn''t healthy. We need time to reconnect as a couple. My youngest has freaked out on the few occasions that we have left without him. That doesn''t make it easy.

 

[lliang_chi]

My FI and I used to do date nights once a week. It tapered off now that his finals are coming up, but hopefully we''ll get back into it soon.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

We have a date night every six weeks and take a vacation once a year. We have two kids and they LOVE getting away from us!

With four kids, I think it would be impossible to expect any person to watch all four. Is there one person/sibling your youngest feels most comfortable around? I would split the group so that child goes with the comfort sibling and the others are watched by another person/family. Try just one or two hours and work up from there.

 

[TravelingGal]

We only have one kid so it''s been manageable. We have date night every Thursday night. We are also going away twice this summer without her - once to Carmel for 5 days and once to Australia for 11 days.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/28/2009 12:24:45 PM
Author: TravelingGal
We only have one kid so it''s been manageable. We have date night every Thursday night. We are also going away twice this summer without her - once to Carmel for 5 days and once to Australia for 11 days.

Eleven days is a long time. How old will Amelia be then?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/28/2009 12:32:19 PM
Author: MC

Date: 5/28/2009 12:24:45 PM
Author: TravelingGal
We only have one kid so it's been manageable. We have date night every Thursday night. We are also going away twice this summer without her - once to Carmel for 5 days and once to Australia for 11 days.

Eleven days is a long time. How old will Amelia be then?

17.5 months.

ETA I re-counted the days...we leave on a Friday after she goes down for the night, so it's 8 days without us and we will be back on the morning of the 9th day.

 

[pennquaker09]

Date night is supposed to be every Friday, but ask me how many times that''s happened since the start of the new year . . .

We haven''t been on any vacations as a couple because the twins only recently turned 1. Nate was going to take me to Wimbledon this year, but I decided against it. I just don''t feel comfortable enough to leave them yet.

 

[Aloros]

We take a date night sporadically, when we think..."Hey, we haven''t been on a date in a while." We do always take some "us" time every night, after we send the kid to bed.

We''re taking a 2-week vacation to Costa Rica this summer, alone (our honeymoon, actually!), and then we''ll start doing some family vacations. We''ll probably still want to take the occasional long weekend to go wine tasting or scuba diving.

Fortunately, both his grandpa and grandma each like to watch him for a week or so in the summer, so we get some time off!

 

[D&T]

umm, not very often for us, we have two kids and we both work and DH goes to school at nights, so the kiddos are in daycare most of the day so whenever we have them, I feel guilty sending them off to another babysitter for a date night, we don''t have family near us either, so whenever we have family come in, (most of the time its my family) they want to spend time with the kids, so its our time for a date night. But we have not been on a vacation just the two of us, and been married for five years.

 

[swingirl]

We often were too busy or tired for regular date nights but once the kids got in pre-school we had a lot of lunch dates. I''d get dressed nicely, pick my husband up from work and go out to lunch. That''s how we''ve celebrated out anniversaries for 20 years. It was a relaxing time with no babysitters and didn''t break the bank! Time alone with your spouse doing something fun is important! But we never took vacations without the kids. We both agreed it wouldn''t be as fun without them.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/28/2009 12:34:58 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/28/2009 12:32:19 PM
Author: MC


Eleven days is a long time. How old will Amelia be then?

17.5 months.

ETA I re-counted the days...we leave on a Friday after she goes down for the night, so it's 8 days without us and we will be back on the morning of the 9th day.

She is a bit young, but it makes a world of difference with whom she says with. Hope you have a nice vacation.

Housecat - how old is your youngest?

ETA - like Swingirl, my DH and I use to have lunch dates. That was when he worked from home and could take a few hours off for us to go to a movie. It's a bummer now that we've missed out on so many great ones and have had to watch them on our TV at home instead.

 

[MustangGal]

Pre-baby we did date night about once a week. Post-baby, we''ve been out twice. He''s 3.5 months, so that''s not too bad, but I also feel that he''s at the sitter all day, so I feel horrible leaving him with a sitter again just so we can go out.

If I had any family near us, we would probably go out alone more often. I do hope to do an adult only vacation maybe next summer, and leave him with my mom. Probably only for a weekend.

My mom and step-dad never really got out without us (5 kids), and haven''t been away just the 2 of them for more than 2 days in the entire 26 years they''ve been married. We''re getting them a trip to Catalina for their b-days this year, and now that the youngest is 16 I think they''re getting out more, but I agree that it probably isn''t good for you and your DH to have no child-free time. Maybe start just an hour or two, and work up from there?

 

[bee*]

I can''t remember the last time we had a date night as we''re saving for the wedding. I''d like to try and make it every two weeks once we''re back form honeymoon.

 

[House Cat]

My youngest is 4. I should have told you that my other three are teenagers, so they actually don''t need a babysitter. The two older boys, they''re no good for babysitting. They''re just a bit immature for the job. Our daughter (14), she''s wonderful for babysitting, but, now my 4 year old resents her for it! I mean it, we''ve had her babysit him once, and he''s still walking around telling us how much he doesn''t like his sister because she babysat him, almost a year ago!

My 4 year old is really attached and rigid. It''s our fault because we didn''t go out on date nights and do other things when he was young, so he only knows his routine. He doesn''t mind visiting grandma''s house though, just not enough to stay the night.

I really see the value in date night and time alone. People need to reconnect and recharge their batteries.

 

[Burk]

Our DD is 16 months old and we do date night every couple weeks. We''re very fortunate to have family that lives close by and begs to babysit!

And, we typically go out for dinner or something in the evenings shortly after she goes to bed so we get the best of both worlds-alone time and we get to see her after work before we leave.

 

[vespergirl]

We have only one son (age two and a half) but we do date nights about twice a month. We also like to do at least one vacation a year without him (something like a long weekend - maybe 4 days).

Since we don''t have any family near us, and don''t like to impose on our friends to babysit, we have to hire a babysitter the nights we go out, which runs us about $10 an hour. If we didn''t have to hire a babysitter, we would probably do date night as frequently as once a week.

Also, when we go on our romantic vacation, we will fly up my parents to watch my son, usually, so we have the added expense of 2 extra airline tickets thrown into our vacation budget.

Overall, though, I think it''s really important to have date nights, regardless of financial circumstances. We went through a tight period after our son was born, where we were paying mortgages on two homes & didn''t have any extra cash. For our date nights then, we would put him to bed, and then I would either cook a special dinner, or we would get takeout from a favorite restaurant. I would put out a bouquet of fresh flowers, light candles, and lay out our takeout on the fine china. We would definitely have some drinks, listen to music, and have a real conversation. It gave us some special time alone in our home, without the expense of a fancy restaurant and a babysitter. Our "at home" date nights were very pleasant, and almost as good as the going out nights.

I think it depends on the ages of your kids, but that''s a good thing to try if you can get them all to go to bed & stay there

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/28/2009 12:56:26 PM
Author: MC

Date: 5/28/2009 12:34:58 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/28/2009 12:32:19 PM
Author: MC


Eleven days is a long time. How old will Amelia be then?

17.5 months.

ETA I re-counted the days...we leave on a Friday after she goes down for the night, so it''s 8 days without us and we will be back on the morning of the 9th day.

She is a bit young, but it makes a world of difference with whom she says with. Hope you have a nice vacation.

Housecat - how old is your youngest?

ETA - like Swingirl, my DH and I use to have lunch dates. That was when he worked from home and could take a few hours off for us to go to a movie. It''s a bummer now that we''ve missed out on so many great ones and have had to watch them on our TV at home instead.

She''s staying with my mom, who helps out during the week. We''re leaving her for 5 days when she''s 15 months, so she''ll be even younger then. So I guess by my standards, she''s not too young.

We left her for 3 days last November and all was well, and she still doesn''t seem to have any major separation anxiety.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 5/28/2009 1:58:01 PM
Author: House Cat
My youngest is 4. I should have told you that my other three are teenagers, so they actually don''t need a babysitter. The two older boys, they''re no good for babysitting. They''re just a bit immature for the job. Our daughter (14), she''s wonderful for babysitting, but, now my 4 year old resents her for it! I mean it, we''ve had her babysit him once, and he''s still walking around telling us how much he doesn''t like his sister because she babysat him, almost a year ago!

My 4 year old is really attached and rigid. It''s our fault because we didn''t go out on date nights and do other things when he was young, so he only knows his routine. He doesn''t mind visiting grandma''s house though, just not enough to stay the night.

I really see the value in date night and time alone. People need to reconnect and recharge their batteries.

Oh wow, you have a built in babysitter, you have to use her!

It sounds like she does a great job, and maybe giving her a few bucks an hour will make her extra-eager to babysit.

It sounds like your little one is a wee bit spoiled, though - the 4 year old shouldn''t be the one dictating the parents'' schedule, or deciding who gets to babysit. If it were me, I would just tell him how it was going to be, and brace myself for the tantrum - and if the tantrum didn''t die down within a few minutes, he would be spending a bit of time in "time out." I just think that once you put your daughter in charge, the little one should know that he''s going to have to live with his parents'' decision, and accept the fact that his responsible older sister is in charge, no argument.

I an one of three kids, and we were spaced 5 years apart (10 years between the oldest and youngest). From the time my older brother was 13, my mother would leave him in charge of me & my younger brother while she ran errands for short periods, and then later, once she saw that he could handle the responsibility, he would babysit us on their date nights. There were times that we resented the fact that he was left in charge, I''m sure, but honestly, he was the oldest, most mature & responsible, and we were instructed to do as he said until my parents returned. It wasn''t up for argument, so we just dealt with it. I think if you let your son know that your daughter is in charge and he needs to obey her, he will do it if it''s an order coming from you & your husband.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I can't remember the last "date" we had!

I am looking to get a regular babysitter and we WILL have a weekly date night. I agree that it isn't healthy. We did just go on a trip w/o the baby in April. But it was not romantic or anything since family was involved. I would love to do something JUST the two of us (not visiting family) which hasn't happened since our honeymoon.

ETA: TGal, I left T for the first time at 5 months so obviously you know what my advice will be.

She'll be JUST fine!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/28/2009 2:47:22 PM
Author: vespergirl

Oh wow, you have a built in babysitter, you have to use her!

It sounds like she does a great job, and maybe giving her a few bucks an hour will make her extra-eager to babysit.

It sounds like your little one is a wee bit spoiled, though - the 4 year old shouldn''t be the one dictating the parents'' schedule, or deciding who gets to babysit. If it were me, I would just tell him how it was going to be, and brace myself for the tantrum - and if the tantrum didn''t die down within a few minutes, he would be spending a bit of time in ''time out.'' I just think that once you put your daughter in charge, the little one should know that he''s going to have to live with his parents'' decision, and accept the fact that his responsible older sister is in charge, no argument.

I an one of three kids, and we were spaced 5 years apart (10 years between the oldest and youngest). From the time my older brother was 13, my mother would leave him in charge of me & my younger brother while she ran errands for short periods, and then later, once she saw that he could handle the responsibility, he would babysit us on their date nights. There were times that we resented the fact that he was left in charge, I''m sure, but honestly, he was the oldest, most mature & responsible, and we were instructed to do as he said until my parents returned. It wasn''t up for argument, so we just dealt with it. I think if you let your son know that your daughter is in charge and he needs to obey her, he will do it if it''s an order coming from you & your husband.

Ditto. I''m sure there will be a tantrum at first, but if you can get over that, you might be into date night territory, woo hoo! I firmly believe in the little ones knowing that mommy and daddy are going out for a special grown up night and they have to stay home. My friend has a friend whose 4 year old will NOT let his daddy go out except to the hospital where he works. So the father has to "page" himself and tell his son daddy has to go to work, when in reality he is going over to his buddy''s house to watch a game. That''s letting the kid rule the roost and it''s not fair to the parents because we all need time to recharge, as was said in this thread.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 5/28/2009 2:45:57 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/28/2009 12:56:26 PM
Author: MC

Date: 5/28/2009 12:34:58 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/28/2009 12:32:19 PM
Author: MC


Eleven days is a long time. How old will Amelia be then?

17.5 months.

ETA I re-counted the days...we leave on a Friday after she goes down for the night, so it''s 8 days without us and we will be back on the morning of the 9th day.

She is a bit young, but it makes a world of difference with whom she says with. Hope you have a nice vacation.

Housecat - how old is your youngest?

ETA - like Swingirl, my DH and I use to have lunch dates. That was when he worked from home and could take a few hours off for us to go to a movie. It''s a bummer now that we''ve missed out on so many great ones and have had to watch them on our TV at home instead.

She''s staying with my mom, who helps out during the week. We''re leaving her for 5 days when she''s 15 months, so she''ll be even younger then. So I guess by my standards, she''s not too young.

We left her for 3 days last November and all was well, and she still doesn''t seem to have any major separation anxiety.

Your daughter will have a blast with your mom, but you''ll be a wreck

- I speak from experience because my husband & I took a 9-day vacation when DS was 18 months old. We had to travel to the Caribbean so that I could serve as matron of honor at my best friend''s wedding, and we were going to be there for 4 days - we decided to hit another Caribbean island first on our own for 5 days to have a romantic vacation before all the wedding duties and insanity. By the end of the first 5 days (before the wedding leg of the trip) I was dying to go home to see my son. I swear, I almost skipped the wedding, because I was dying to see him. Of course I served my duties at the wedding though, and then was up at dawn the next morning to get back to DS. We had to take 2 flights to get home. Our second flight was cancelled, and we were stuck in a city two states away from our home overnight. When the airline people told me I couldn''t go home to see my baby until the next day, I wanted to hurt somebody. When I finally got home the next day, I was SO RELIEVED to see my baby, I missed him so much. He, of course, was fine, getting spoiled to pieces by his grandparents.

It''s funny, because we had left him for 2 nights before & I was fine, but 9 nights was way too many for me. Now that he''s 2 and a half, we just got back from a trip to the Caribbean again, but we took him this time. After that first long trip, we have a rule that we can''t go anywhere alone longer than 5 days without DS.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/28/2009 2:56:29 PM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 5/28/2009 2:45:57 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/28/2009 12:56:26 PM
Author: MC

Date: 5/28/2009 12:34:58 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/28/2009 12:32:19 PM
Author: MC


Eleven days is a long time. How old will Amelia be then?

17.5 months.

ETA I re-counted the days...we leave on a Friday after she goes down for the night, so it''s 8 days without us and we will be back on the morning of the 9th day.

She is a bit young, but it makes a world of difference with whom she says with. Hope you have a nice vacation.

Housecat - how old is your youngest?

ETA - like Swingirl, my DH and I use to have lunch dates. That was when he worked from home and could take a few hours off for us to go to a movie. It''s a bummer now that we''ve missed out on so many great ones and have had to watch them on our TV at home instead.

She''s staying with my mom, who helps out during the week. We''re leaving her for 5 days when she''s 15 months, so she''ll be even younger then. So I guess by my standards, she''s not too young.

We left her for 3 days last November and all was well, and she still doesn''t seem to have any major separation anxiety.

Your daughter will have a blast with your mom, but you''ll be a wreck

- I speak from experience because my husband & I took a 9-day vacation when DS was 18 months old. We had to travel to the Caribbean so that I could serve as matron of honor at my best friend''s wedding, and we were going to be there for 4 days - we decided to hit another Caribbean island first on our own for 5 days to have a romantic vacation before all the wedding duties and insanity. By the end of the first 5 days (before the wedding leg of the trip) I was dying to go home to see my son. I swear, I almost skipped the wedding, because I was dying to see him. Of course I served my duties at the wedding though, and then was up at dawn the next morning to get back to DS. We had to take 2 flights to get home. Our second flight was cancelled, and we were stuck in a city two states away from our home overnight. When the airline people told me I couldn''t go home to see my baby until the next day, I wanted to hurt somebody. When I finally got home the next day, I was SO RELIEVED to see my baby, I missed him so much. He, of course, was fine, getting spoiled to pieces by his grandparents.

It''s funny, because we had left him for 2 nights before & I was fine, but 9 nights was way too many for me. Now that he''s 2 and a half, we just got back from a trip to the Caribbean again, but we took him this time. After that first long trip, we have a rule that we can''t go anywhere alone longer than 5 days without DS.

Now THIS I don''t doubt! The 5 days away I''m not concerned about because it''s only a 5 hour drive away. But the 9 nights to Oz...we''ll we can''t exactly come back in a flash, can we? I''m already feeling anxious about that trip because I know I''ll miss her silly, but we have the opportunity to go to the wedding of a good friend, plus TGuy''s parents are meeting us in Sydney. He wanted to go as long as possible because he misses his folks, and I can''t begrudge him that.

The 5 day trip will be a good test. If I (er, I mean, things)fall apart, I''ll send TGuy to Sydney on his own and eat the airfare.

 

[House Cat]

Date: 5/28/2009 2:47:22 PM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 5/28/2009 1:58:01 PM
Author: House Cat
My youngest is 4. I should have told you that my other three are teenagers, so they actually don''t need a babysitter. The two older boys, they''re no good for babysitting. They''re just a bit immature for the job. Our daughter (14), she''s wonderful for babysitting, but, now my 4 year old resents her for it! I mean it, we''ve had her babysit him once, and he''s still walking around telling us how much he doesn''t like his sister because she babysat him, almost a year ago!

My 4 year old is really attached and rigid. It''s our fault because we didn''t go out on date nights and do other things when he was young, so he only knows his routine. He doesn''t mind visiting grandma''s house though, just not enough to stay the night.

I really see the value in date night and time alone. People need to reconnect and recharge their batteries.

Oh wow, you have a built in babysitter, you have to use her!

It sounds like she does a great job, and maybe giving her a few bucks an hour will make her extra-eager to babysit.

It sounds like your little one is a wee bit spoiled, though - the 4 year old shouldn''t be the one dictating the parents'' schedule, or deciding who gets to babysit. If it were me, I would just tell him how it was going to be, and brace myself for the tantrum - and if the tantrum didn''t die down within a few minutes, he would be spending a bit of time in ''time out.'' I just think that once you put your daughter in charge, the little one should know that he''s going to have to live with his parents'' decision, and accept the fact that his responsible older sister is in charge, no argument.

I an one of three kids, and we were spaced 5 years apart (10 years between the oldest and youngest). From the time my older brother was 13, my mother would leave him in charge of me & my younger brother while she ran errands for short periods, and then later, once she saw that he could handle the responsibility, he would babysit us on their date nights. There were times that we resented the fact that he was left in charge, I''m sure, but honestly, he was the oldest, most mature & responsible, and we were instructed to do as he said until my parents returned. It wasn''t up for argument, so we just dealt with it. I think if you let your son know that your daughter is in charge and he needs to obey her, he will do it if it''s an order coming from you & your husband.

I agree completely! I''m not really allowing my little one to dictate, I just hate subjecting my daughter to the tantrum. It''s a guilt thing. If we were to stay and deal with the tantrum, it would never end. So, we have to leave in the middle of the meltdown, and my poor daughter has to calm him down. Last time, it took ten minutes, which isn''t too bad.

He does mind her when we''re gone. He just resents her after the fact. I think it''s hard on her. Maybe I''ll pay her extra for brother resentment tax.

This thread is very eye opening though. Everyone seems to be on date nights!!

 

[Lilac]

I love date nights - I always notice DH and I are happier and get along so much better when we take some time to go out together. Whether it''s just getting starbucks and sitting there to talk for an hour or two and then renting a movie, or going out to a fancy dinner (depending on how much money we want to or DON''T want to spend) we always enjoy date nights. We try to do this once a week but the last few months have been difficult with school and DH''s work, so we kind of stopped for a while but we plan on starting again now.

We just went on our first vacation together and plan on taking our honeymoon at the end of the summer. Hopefully after that we''ll go on one vacation and one long weekend a year.

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 5/28/2009 11:25:43 AM
Author:House Cat
How often do you and your spouse have a date night? How often do you and your spouse take vacations that are just the two of you?


We have four children and we never do either of these things. I''m thinking this isn''t healthy. We need time to reconnect as a couple. My youngest has freaked out on the few occasions that we have left without him. That doesn''t make it easy.

Every time I hear stories like this I always call my mom and apologize for being such a brat. Her situation was a little different because my dad passed away but when I was younger and she wanted to go out on a date, I would have a fit. My brothers were the same. And now we''re all out of the house and she''s still single (14 years later)

I know this is easier said than done but even if your children throw a fit, go out anyway. Tears dry up. I used to get really upset when my parents wanted to go out too but within 10 minutes of them leaving, I was fine. Tell the baby sitter to have some ice cream on hand

As for your question, we can''t really compare since we don''t have children in the house yet. We go on date nights once a week and vacation once a year. We''re going to try the vacation thing with DD but I''m guessing maybe date nights will not be as frequent...although my MIL will probably ask us to go out just so she can have alone time with DD.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/28/2009 3:07:10 PM
Author: House Cat
I agree completely! I''m not really allowing my little one to dictate, I just hate subjecting my daughter to the tantrum. It''s a guilt thing. If we were to stay and deal with the tantrum, it would never end. So, we have to leave in the middle of the meltdown, and my poor daughter has to calm him down. Last time, it took ten minutes, which isn''t too bad.

He does mind her when we''re gone. He just resents her after the fact. I think it''s hard on her. Maybe I''ll pay her extra for brother resentment tax.

This thread is very eye opening though. Everyone seems to be on date nights!!

Ten mintutes isn''t that big of a deal. Nearly every babysitter goes through that at one point or another. Just give your daughter a few additional dollars for dealing with that. You are paying her, right?

FWIW, even as a SAHM, both my kids went to preschool and it did them a world of good because they learned they could trust other people aside from mom, dad, and grandma & grandpa.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 5/28/2009 3:07:10 PM
Author: House Cat

Date: 5/28/2009 2:47:22 PM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 5/28/2009 1:58:01 PM
Author: House Cat
My youngest is 4. I should have told you that my other three are teenagers, so they actually don''t need a babysitter. The two older boys, they''re no good for babysitting. They''re just a bit immature for the job. Our daughter (14), she''s wonderful for babysitting, but, now my 4 year old resents her for it! I mean it, we''ve had her babysit him once, and he''s still walking around telling us how much he doesn''t like his sister because she babysat him, almost a year ago!

My 4 year old is really attached and rigid. It''s our fault because we didn''t go out on date nights and do other things when he was young, so he only knows his routine. He doesn''t mind visiting grandma''s house though, just not enough to stay the night.

I really see the value in date night and time alone. People need to reconnect and recharge their batteries.

Oh wow, you have a built in babysitter, you have to use her!

It sounds like she does a great job, and maybe giving her a few bucks an hour will make her extra-eager to babysit.

It sounds like your little one is a wee bit spoiled, though - the 4 year old shouldn''t be the one dictating the parents'' schedule, or deciding who gets to babysit. If it were me, I would just tell him how it was going to be, and brace myself for the tantrum - and if the tantrum didn''t die down within a few minutes, he would be spending a bit of time in ''time out.'' I just think that once you put your daughter in charge, the little one should know that he''s going to have to live with his parents'' decision, and accept the fact that his responsible older sister is in charge, no argument.

I an one of three kids, and we were spaced 5 years apart (10 years between the oldest and youngest). From the time my older brother was 13, my mother would leave him in charge of me & my younger brother while she ran errands for short periods, and then later, once she saw that he could handle the responsibility, he would babysit us on their date nights. There were times that we resented the fact that he was left in charge, I''m sure, but honestly, he was the oldest, most mature & responsible, and we were instructed to do as he said until my parents returned. It wasn''t up for argument, so we just dealt with it. I think if you let your son know that your daughter is in charge and he needs to obey her, he will do it if it''s an order coming from you & your husband.

I agree completely! I''m not really allowing my little one to dictate, I just hate subjecting my daughter to the tantrum. It''s a guilt thing. If we were to stay and deal with the tantrum, it would never end. So, we have to leave in the middle of the meltdown, and my poor daughter has to calm him down. Last time, it took ten minutes, which isn''t too bad.

He does mind her when we''re gone. He just resents her after the fact. I think it''s hard on her. Maybe I''ll pay her extra for brother resentment tax.

This thread is very eye opening though. Everyone seems to be on date nights!!

That''s the ticket! I totally know what you mean about the tantrum after you leave that she has to deal with - but maybe a couple of extra bucks will make her not mind dealing with it so much

BTW, I meant to mention what a cutie your son is - I actually had a double take, because he looks a lot like my little guy - the blond hair & blue eyes. I can see why it''s tough to leave him!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/28/2009 2:45:57 PM
Author: TravelingGal

She''s staying with my mom, who helps out during the week. We''re leaving her for 5 days when she''s 15 months, so she''ll be even younger then. So I guess by my standards, she''s not too young.

We left her for 3 days last November and all was well, and she still doesn''t seem to have any major separation anxiety.

That sounds perfect since she is well aquainted with your mom. I cannot remember the first time we left my son. We had planned a trip when he was 7 months and I panicked at the last minute because I was still nursing him, so we ended up having my in-laws fly with us on the trip so DH and I could have fun at night and they could watch my son. lol! (I became pregnant again when my first was just over one, so my guess is the boys were left together when my younger was at least one and my older was at least three).

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 5/28/2009 3:02:41 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/28/2009 2:56:29 PM
Author: vespergirl


Your daughter will have a blast with your mom, but you''ll be a wreck

- I speak from experience because my husband & I took a 9-day vacation when DS was 18 months old. We had to travel to the Caribbean so that I could serve as matron of honor at my best friend''s wedding, and we were going to be there for 4 days - we decided to hit another Caribbean island first on our own for 5 days to have a romantic vacation before all the wedding duties and insanity. By the end of the first 5 days (before the wedding leg of the trip) I was dying to go home to see my son. I swear, I almost skipped the wedding, because I was dying to see him. Of course I served my duties at the wedding though, and then was up at dawn the next morning to get back to DS. We had to take 2 flights to get home. Our second flight was cancelled, and we were stuck in a city two states away from our home overnight. When the airline people told me I couldn''t go home to see my baby until the next day, I wanted to hurt somebody. When I finally got home the next day, I was SO RELIEVED to see my baby, I missed him so much. He, of course, was fine, getting spoiled to pieces by his grandparents.

It''s funny, because we had left him for 2 nights before & I was fine, but 9 nights was way too many for me. Now that he''s 2 and a half, we just got back from a trip to the Caribbean again, but we took him this time. After that first long trip, we have a rule that we can''t go anywhere alone longer than 5 days without DS.

Now THIS I don''t doubt! The 5 days away I''m not concerned about because it''s only a 5 hour drive away. But the 9 nights to Oz...we''ll we can''t exactly come back in a flash, can we? I''m already feeling anxious about that trip because I know I''ll miss her silly, but we have the opportunity to go to the wedding of a good friend, plus TGuy''s parents are meeting us in Sydney. He wanted to go as long as possible because he misses his folks, and I can''t begrudge him that.

The 5 day trip will be a good test. If I (er, I mean, things)fall apart, I''ll send TGuy to Sydney on his own and eat the airfare.

I agree - I think that you''ll be fine on the 5 day trip - in fact, you''re going to love the time away, I bet - it''s good for the parents to connect without the kiddees every once in a while. I promise that your DD will be great - you''ll walk in the door, and she''ll probably be reclining on a cushion with your mom handfeeding her grapes

The longer trip will be a little harder - I know for me it was, because I came back a day later than I expected, and that was the toughest part. It also was a little tough seeing how DS was clearly preferring his grandparents to the little-seen mom & dad the day after we got back, but he got over it

 

[Kaleigh]

We are at the other end of the spectrum since we have a 21 year old and a soon to be 19 year old. Ladies make the time to get away, your babies will be fine, as long as you are leaving them with someone you really know and trust.

I wish we had done this, but our son had health problems with severe asthma, so never felt comfortable in leaving him and we didn''t have family to help us out.

We always had date nights, thank goodness.

We are making up for lost time now, and have to say, we love going away just the two of us.