**Dani?** Other PS docs and nurses? Gift help!

[Independent Gal]

I wondered if some of you who are doctors or nurses might be able to advise me about this. I would like to give a gift to the team of specialists who cared for me and tried to save my sons, and particularly to the doctor who oversaw my labor and my sons'' birth. Her compassion and humanity were truly amazing and I''m so grateful to her. I just have no idea what would be appropriate, or whether to give something to the whole team (a bottle of scotch? chocolate?) Or to each doctor individually.

And what about the nurse who was assigned to me? She was really an angel. But I''m not even sure I remember her last name.

Any ideas? Suggestions?

Thanks in advance.

 

[kaori]

I am neither a nurse nor a doctor (I am a Gerontologist), and I was taught it was not appropriate of receiving any personal gift from the patients or from the familily members of the patients. The doctor or nurse can lose his or her job by accepting personal gift.

If you think it is necessary of showing your appreciation, the following are two examples that are textbook acceptable:

1) Donate money to the hospital with your compliment letter about the very professional team.
2) Make sure the gift can be share by others, such as chocolate, cupcake....

 

[Sabine]

I''m not a doctor or a nurse, but had an idea. It seems like it would be difficult to get something for each individual, so maybe you could take something in for the whole team, like a cake or some sort of consumable item that could be left out for them to take, with a thank you note?

It is so sweet of you to be thinking of those that were there for you. I''m sure they were just as moved by your sons'' short lives as we are.

 

[LostSapphire]

Date: 11/12/2008 1:17:02 PM
Author:Independent Gal
I wondered if some of you who are doctors or nurses might be able to advise me about this. I would like to give a gift to the team of specialists who cared for me and tried to save my sons, and particularly to the doctor who oversaw my labor and my sons'' birth. Her compassion and humanity were truly amazing and I''m so grateful to her. I just have no idea what would be appropriate, or whether to give something to the whole team (a bottle of scotch? chocolate?) Or to each doctor individually.

And what about the nurse who was assigned to me? She was really an angel. But I''m not even sure I remember her last name.

Any ideas? Suggestions?

Thanks in advance.

Hello Indy

First, may I express my condolences on the loss of your sons. I followed your thread and found your strength awe-inspiring. I hope that you find peace in the days to come.

I had a similar need (different situation than yours: mine was a brain tumor which was miraculously removed by a brilliant team of neurosurgeons). I desperately needed to express my appreciation for all that they did for me.

I called my surgeon''s office and spoke to his secretary: she gave me the name of the foundation that he heads up, that supports research and development, etc etc. So I sent a donation there, and a letter to him directly telling him what I did.

Just a thought...Hope this helps somehow.

LS

 

[Porridge]

Hi IndependantGal! I''m a relative newbie here, but just wanted to say I''m so sorry for your loss. I''m glad you''re doing so well and I''m looking forward to hearing about stories of more beautiful children in the future! I''m not a doctor or nurse, I''m a physical therapist, and we are not allowed to accept personal gifts in our hospital

Suggestions here by other people of a home baked cake or cookies sounds wonderful though! And a compliment letter would definitely make the team feel very appreciated. How thoughtful of you!

 

[Porridge]

Date: 11/12/2008 2:20:07 PM
Author: Porridge
Hi IndependantGal! I''m a relative newbie here, but just wanted to say I''m so sorry for your loss. I''m glad you''re doing so well and I''m looking forward to hearing about stories of more beautiful children in the future! I''m not a doctor or nurse, I''m a physical therapist, and we are not allowed to accept personal gifts in our hospital

Suggestions here by other people of a home baked cake or cookies sounds wonderful though! And a compliment letter would definitely make the team feel very appreciated. How thoughtful of you!

Whoops, typo, spelled your name wrong, sorry! That one always catches me

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

A lovely letter would be appreciated. Small, inexpensive gifts are fine, but a sincere and heartfelt letter will be the best gift of all. Not only on a personal level, but it is something that the doctors, and the nurse can use later as inspiration to other staff members, and as a testiment to patient satisfaction which is of utmost importance to those in the medical field. If you would like to find the name of the nurse you could call the unit manager and give the first name and the dates, and description of the nurse. She will most likely give you her name.
Sending a copy of the letter you write to the nurse to the director of nursing at the hospital would give the nurse added recognition for her compassionate care.

Regards,
Lisa

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 11/12/2008 1:40:35 PM
Author: kaori
I am neither a nurse nor a doctor (I am a Gerontologist), and I was taught it was not appropriate of receiving any personal gift from the patients or from the familily members of the patients. The doctor or nurse can lose his or her job by accepting personal gift.

really? I''ve given my dr. and nurses gifts after my deliveries and never new it was not appropriate. I hope they were able to keep and enjoy the gifts and didn''t have to just throw them away or something..


anyway indy, I''m not a dr. or nurse either, but I knew my dr. drinks wine so I bought he and his wife a bottle. I also gave a gift card to starbucks for his office nurse( she had a starbucks cups on her desk so I knew she liked it) who weighed me and checked my bloodpressure week after week. I think taking Cookies or something to the hospital staff would be a great idea too. If of course Dani or another dr. chimes in that it is okay to do.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I''m a nurse and what patients and their families have always done for our staff (mainly during the holidays) is send boxes of mixed chocolates or cookies. They are a big hit!

 

[dani13]

Hi Indy,

First off, Im so very sorry for the loss of your sons.....I'm wishing you and your DH much strength during this very difficult time.

If is so nice that you want to express your gratitude to the docs and nurses that took care of you.....I have to tell you, a simple thank you card is more than enough- it is so special when I get a thank you from one of my patients....It really means alot to me that they took the time to reach out to me, and I'm sure others in my field feel the same way. But, if you really want to get something for them, a gift card/certificate is nice for the individual gifts- like if you want to get your doc/nurse a gift card to a local restaurant or something, that is super-sweet! Mostly everyone eats out, so that's totally a "safe" gift! A nice bottle of wine is a great one too!

I have received many gifts over the years- everything from flowers to chocolates to diamond earrings (!!)....We are allowed to accept gifts from patients without getting in trouble, but I would never take money...I have had a number of patients/family members try to shove cash into my pockets from time to time....Its crazy, people are just so generous!

Any other questions, let me know. Take care of yourself....

 

[Italiahaircolor]

My dad is a surgeon, and I would have to say over the year his patients have sent fruit baskets to him...which have been easily share with his team, and his office.

 

[joflier]

We are allowed to accept gifts at our clinic, as far as I know. We have had a few different occasions where patients have brought us baked goods in show of their appreciation. And also a letter/card is always appreciated. Its nice to here after the fact that what we do is appreciated by patients.......even if, sadly like your situation, the outcome is not what we hoped and strived for. Even though we see lots of patients day in and day out, there are some, esp. from difficult situations that stay in our thoughts long afterward, and its always nice to here an update and to know how their doing.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 11/12/2008 1:40:35 PM
Author: kaori
I am neither a nurse nor a doctor (I am a Gerontologist), and I was taught it was not appropriate of receiving any personal gift from the patients or from the familily members of the patients. The doctor or nurse can lose his or her job by accepting personal gift.


If you think it is necessary of showing your appreciation, the following are two examples that are textbook acceptable:


1) Donate money to the hospital with your compliment letter about the very professional team.

2) Make sure the gift can be share by others, such as chocolate, cupcake....

Hummmmmmm!!!!! When I had my last chemotherapy for Ovarian Cancer, I gave my two chemo nurses a special gift. It brought tears to their eyes, that I would think of them. My gift deeply touched the both of them.



Linda

 

[Miscka]

Indy maybe check with your specific hospital on guidelines?

You are so sweet to think of those people, I am sure that it would warm their hearts to know that they helped you in your time of need. I used to work with the elderly pretty extensively and even kind words from their families made it easier to face some of the hard things about working with Alzheimer''s patients.

 

[~*Alexis*~]

When I was really sick as a child and was in the hospital, my dad bought fresh fruit cut it up and served it to them. Fruit is usally safe because its healthy and it promotes a healthy diet. Plus, people are allergic to coco and nuts it seems a lot more than normal.

 

[kelley1975]

Indy~
First off...I am so sorry for your loss...I was really hoping for you and your family that things would turn out differently.

Regarding how to recognize those who cared for you and your boys...I am an NICU nurse and truly the most wonderful gift from a patient is a heartfelt thankyou letter. Just knowing that you have made a difference stays with you much longer than any tangible gift. I save every thankyou card I get and re-read them often.

Again, my heart aches for you and your hubby--I hope you can find peace soon.

Take care,
Kelley

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

As a nurse, I have been a recipient of many gifts and heartfelt "thank you''s" you over the years--none expected and all appreciated! The one thing I might mention is if you write a letter to the hospital/nurse manager/director of medicine/nursing and specify your positive feelings for certain individuals these accolades are not forgotten and are brought up at performance reviews/tenure meetings, and are therefore important.

BTW, I give wine to my GP annually and have given restaurant GC''s to other specialists who made a difference, as well. I always wirte a note of appreciation for the wonderful care received.

Take care Indy.

cheers--Sharon

 

[kaori]

Like I had mentioned earlier, I was taught not to accept any gifts from either the patients or the family members of the patients in my graduate school.

Why don''t you just ask the doctor and nurses what are the rules?

 

[Linda W]

Date: 11/12/2008 10:42:44 PM
Author: kaori
Like I had mentioned earlier, I was taught not to accept any gifts from either the patients or the family members of the patients in my graduate school.


Why don''t you just ask the doctor and nurses what are the rules?

Maybe it is different in the state where you live??? I know in California and the city where we live, the doctors and nurses really appreciate it and they do keep the gifts.

 

[Lynnie]

Hi, Indy...
I would like to express my condolences for the loss of your children. I really can''t even begin to imagine what you''re going through. ***Hugs***
I am also a nurse, and agree with most other posters that a card/letter of thanks is appropriate. Whenever patients or families send cards, we hang them in our break room on a bullitin board. The title on the board says "We really do make a difference". It really warms my heart to see a new message, even if it''s not addressed to me personally. And like canuk said, a letter to the manager is a nice idea too.
I also agree that some kind of food/sweet/fruit tray is ALWAYS appreciated. We took care of one of our nursing supervisors on our unit and she sent a wonderful letter and a hoagie tray. Where I work, there never seems to be enough time to go out and get food and eat, so we eat on the run a lot.
All of the previous suggestions are wonderful, and no matter what you choose to send, you will touch the hearts of those who''ve helped you.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I would say a hand written thank you note is better than any gift. There is one that has been hanging in one of our units for a year. I am one of the doctor's named in it, and it makes me smile everytime I see it, even if I am stressed out and having a bad day.

Other than that, what everyone said above. Flowers, something homemade, candy, that can be enjoyed by all.

 

[diane5006]

Indy...sorry for your loss

It is so nice of you to want to thank your team...

I am sure there are some places that disallow gifts per policy...for the most part a gift to the staff is fine and most appreciated...

For the nurses...perhaps a fruit basket type thing...for the one particular nurse...a note to her personally and/or on the the Director of Nursing at the hospital...even if you don''t know her last name...they will be able to figure out who it was

Sending a fruit basket type thank you to the doctors would also be nice

I am glad you had the experience of a caring team

 

[stepcutnut]

Indy-I want to first send my most heart felt condolences to you and your husband!

The most meaningful 'gifts' I've received from patients, have been either letters or hand written thank you cards. I re-read them often and they warm my heart.

One other suggestion may be to donate 2 rocking chairs, in remembrance of your sweet boys Isaac and Samuel-with a small plaque attached to each, to the unit in which you all received care.

 

[Independent Gal]

Thanks everyone. From what you say, it sounds like the best option for me would be to write individually to the doctor and nurses who made a special difference, and then to write a general card with some home baking for the whole team.

I have found out the surname of the nurse who was assigned to me when my sons were born and have already contacted her supervisors to let them know how extraordinarily kind and wonderful this lady was.

I still have moments where it all seems so unreal and I wonder 'how did I go through that, without fear, and in relative calm, knowing the inevitable outcome?' and I think a lot of it is down to the nurse and doctor who cared for me and for my sons while they lived.

All of you who do this for a living: thank you!