Wedding Dance Money??

[Haven]

claudinam wrote:

If it's a cultural thing though it is ignorant, in my opinion, to say it is tasteless or rude or classeless or whatever. It's part of the culture!

I assume you're responding to my quote since I used the word "tasteless." If you had read my entire post, you would have seen that I said it is tasteless if it is NOT a cultural thing. In case it wasn't already clear enough by my first post, I thought I should make it even more transparent.

 

[CJ2008]

Haven,

No...

You said, "otherwise"...it was clear just by that word alone, that you felt that if it was a cultural thing, it would not be tasteless...

Plus I just can't picture you even saying anything to disprespect another culture?

So no...

Not at all...

ETA: just so it's clear, I'll go even further...I myself think it is tasteless to make anyone feel obligated or pressured to participate for guests that are not part of the culture/family...
Do I like the tradition? No...but I realize that is probably mostly because I am not from that culture.

 

[Haven]

Oh, good!

Thank you, I just wanted to make sure.

ETA: And I'm sorry, Claudina. I just re-read my last post and realized how snarky it sounded. That was not my intent at all. I'm crabby, and it looks like that leaked out into my writing. HA! And I come on to PS to help me de-stress, not spread the stress around!

I just didn't want anyone to think I was bashing their culture.

 

[CJ2008]

Of course.

I would so totally prefer that you clear it up rather than assume.

Glad you did.

 

[CJ2008]

Haven,

I don't think you sounded crabby AT ALL. I could see how you may have thought I objected to what you said because you used the word tasteless.

I hope I made clear how I see it...

 

[JSM]

I''ve never seen it done in my family, but 9/10 of the weddings I''ve been to with my fiance for his friends/family have done it. And for all of the tackiness I have seen at his friends'' weddings, NO ONE was ever forced to give money and dance. People participated if they wanted to, and they didn''t if they didn''t want to. It was in good fun and everyone seemed to have a good time.

It must be regional because I had never heard of it until a few years ago, but the way I''ve seen it done it didn''t seem tacky or money grabbing at all.

 

[mimzy]

it was done at my last two cousin's weddings, but i'm not planning on doing it at mine. one side of my family is polish, as is FI's, and i guess it's a big polish tradition, so i think i could 'get away' with having one with no one raising eyebrows, but i'm still opting out.

i'm actually fighting FI tooth and nail on this one! he's all about the tradition! but i fully agree with whoever said that if you have to ask what it is, don't do it! (read:if it's not a deep seeded tradition, you really have no good reason to....)

 

[Deelight]

Date: 8/26/2008 1:17:13 PM
Author: purrfectpear
...because nothing says classy like having a bunch of dollar bills pinned to a wedding dress

Hrmmm I will have to politely disagree in my culture we have a money dance (we don''t pin money on the bride though) amongst other traditions that can be done for guests to give money however guests can CHOOSE to participate, most people don''t have an issue with it however I have not seen anyone who has. For our culture it is a way for what was once a village help the newlyweds on their way into married life, and give them a good start.

I don''t see anything wrong with it personally but I can see how others might find it rude, if it is something that like others have said is a regional or cultural thing go ahead if you want to however if it isn''t then I wouldn''t do it.

 

[honey22]

If you feel uncomfortable having this tradition at your wedding, maybe you could have a dance where people are encoured to give the B&G their wellwishes too - maybe they could also give quick handwritten notes or words of encouragement/luck for their wedding and not just cash? That way, it doesn''t seem like you are money hungry, if you ask for wellwishes and then get some cash, then you have done well. For couples with different cultures, this may feel more comfortable for the family that doesn''t do this kind of stuff and they don''t feel obligated to give more money.

But, if it''s not truly a tradition in your culture I would just stay away totally. When it comes down to it, you are getting married and your wedding day is about celebrating that, not scoring big on presents and cash.

 

[galvana]

Hi Cleopatra and everyone
So like a pin, needle pin or safety pin??? LOL
and they stick it to my gown so i continue to dance with the money on me?? i LOVE IT!

 

[ash313]

Just thought I''d jump in on this one. In the German side of my family, we have a "dollar dance" where the bride and groom dance together on the dance floor and then guests line up to pay a dollar (or more if you want) to slow dance with the bride or groom. There are seperate lines for each.

As you are about to go out on the dance floor for your turn with the spouse of your choice, they give you a shot of tequila, rum, or something like that - whew! Then they push you out on the dance floor and you dance for about 20 seconds with them.

Not sure where this came from, but we always used to say the money was for the hotel for that night. So the thought was to put them up in a nice place, and then they wouldn''t have to go to the Super 8. Of course, this was not true at all, but for some reason we always said that.

I always thought it was totally normal, until I went to a wedding where they didn''t do it.

However, I won''t do it at my own. It''s a real buzzkill to listen to 5 or 6 slow songs in a row and watch others dance with the bride and groom. But they usually pulled in a good chunk of change, 3-400 bucks!

 

[galvana]

Hi Again
Ok CLEARLY i hadn''t read all your posts before i posted my first response above. LOL
I have only been to 1 or 2 weddings where they did the dollar dance but i wasn''t really sure what it was at the time - it was a few years ago.
Interesting the VERY different views everyone has on it though..........................kind of like the very different views on having open bar all night or cash bar.

I talked to my wedding coordinator at my venue and she said only 1 out of 5 brides does open bar, the majority does open first hour and cash the rest of the night.
I guess many things are accepted in some areas and not accepted in others, very interesting indeed! LOL