Wedding Dance Money??

[galvana]

Hi All
Forgive my lack of knowledge but what is dance money? I have seen brides post it here a few times.
you can get money at your wedding? if there are ways, outside of the gifts, please tell me how!?? LOL

 

[Cleopatra]

Money dances are popular in different regions/cultures. Where I am from, EVERYONE has a money dance - which is basically a song that different people line up to dance with the bride and groom and they pin on a couple dollars (or a lot) to dance with the bride or groom for a few minutes - then when their time is up, the next in line gets a chance and the cycle repeats - It''s usually about 2 songs.

 

[purrfectpear]

...because nothing says classy like having a bunch of dollar bills pinned to a wedding dress

 

[Cleopatra]

Date: 8/26/2008 1:17:13 PM
Author: purrfectpear
...because nothing says classy like having a bunch of dollar bills pinned to a wedding dress

Nice.

It''s a regional thing - it has nothing to do with class or no class. It''s a tradition where I''m from.

 

[bee*]

I think that if it''s tradition where you are or in your culture then it''s great. If it''s not tradition or in your culture, then skip it. We don''t do that where I''m from and I''d say it would not be taken well by guests at our wedding.

 

[loverocks]

I don''t think it is a tradition w/ regards to region in the US. However, it is a very important tradition in quite a few cultures and a very important part of the celebration. I will not be doing it as it is not part of my (or FI) culture. I think we need to be sensitve here when we are commenting on cultural traditions.
However, in some regions of the US it is very common for guests to bring a card with check/cash as a wedding present. I am in the NE and it is very very common here. In my area/social norms, whatever, typically you would receive $150.0 per guest with them most probably about 300.00. Of course, not every guest, etc., but that is the general amount.

 

[Courtneylub]

Date: 8/26/2008 1:17:13 PM
Author: purrfectpear
...because nothing says classy like having a bunch of dollar bills pinned to a wedding dress

The wink implied you were kidding, but the comment could be taken as rude. The tons of "dollar dances" I've seen did not have brides with dollar bills pinned to their dresses.

 

[jcrow]

Date: 8/26/2008 1:18:12 PM
Author: Cleopatra

Date: 8/26/2008 1:17:13 PM

Author: purrfectpear

...because nothing says classy like having a bunch of dollar bills pinned to a wedding dress

Nice.

It''s a regional thing - it has nothing to do with class or no class. It''s a tradition where I''m from.

ditto. it''s expected where i am from. and for the record NO pins went in my dress. i carried a heirloom purse during the money dance so that i didn''t have to pin anything on my dress.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

There has been a many of heated thread on money dances. I personally do not like them. What is worse was we were at a wedding where the guests were FORCED and GUILTED to participate. We paid to fly out to their wedding, hotel room, DH''s tux rental, gift, etc...sorry I was not going to shell out more money for a dance (both the bride and groom were doing it).

 

[Cleopatra]

Wow! I''ve never been to a wedding where guests were forced to contribute to a money dance! How odd!!

I know at ours, a line formed to dance with me and hubs. People were asking us when we were doing the dance all night - people get very excited about this tradition in my neck of the woods!

 

[jcrow]

Date: 8/26/2008 4:15:59 PM
Author: Cleopatra
Wow! I''ve never been to a wedding where guests were forced to contribute to a money dance! How odd!!

I know at ours, a line formed to dance with me and hubs. People were asking us when we were doing the dance all night - people get very excited about this tradition in my neck of the woods!

ditto

 

[Cleopatra]

Jcrow - after looking at your wedding pics - I believe we''re from the exact same "neck of the woods"

 

[Tacori E-ring]

cleo, I thought it was quite rude

I think if that''s in your culture/tradition fine but I know a lot of couple who just do it for the money

I would say only 25% of the weddings we go to (if that) do it and we go to LOTS of weddings.

 

[jcrow]

Date: 8/26/2008 4:25:45 PM
Author: Cleopatra
Jcrow - after looking at your wedding pics - I believe we''re from the exact same ''neck of the woods''

no, really? you know.... looking back... the fleurs on your cake... yep, you''re probably right! hum.

 

[Cleopatra]

Date: 8/26/2008 4:32:01 PM
Author: jcrow

Date: 8/26/2008 4:25:45 PM

Author: Cleopatra

Jcrow - after looking at your wedding pics - I believe we''re from the exact same ''neck of the woods''

no, really? you know.... looking back... the fleurs on your cake... yep, you''re probably right! hum.

Yep

Absolutely! - I''d recognize the Cathedral anywhere! Small world!

 

[jcrow]

Date: 8/26/2008 4:35:16 PM
Author: Cleopatra

Date: 8/26/2008 4:32:01 PM
Author: jcrow

Date: 8/26/2008 4:25:45 PM
Author: Cleopatra

Jcrow - after looking at your wedding pics - I believe we're from the exact same 'neck of the woods'

no, really? you know.... looking back... the fleurs on your cake... yep, you're probably right! hum.

Yep

Absolutely! - I'd recognize the Cathedral anywhere! Small world!

ok, without saying WHICH town, is it the same one? { don't feel like you have to either way if you don't want to

}
small world indeed!

 

[Cleopatra]

Exact same one

 

[jcrow]

Date: 8/26/2008 4:41:04 PM
Author: Cleopatra
Exact same one

end. of thread jack

 

[loverocks]

Date: 8/26/2008 4:28:31 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
cleo, I thought it was quite rude

I think if that''s in your culture/tradition fine but I know a lot of couple who just do it for the money

I would say only 25% of the weddings we go to (if that) do it and we go to LOTS of weddings.

I think this is the differnece to highlight. It is my understanding that this is a very fond tradition for many cultures. If this is your heritage then go for it. However, correct me if I am wrong, this is not an American tradition in any region of the country, but rather a cultural tradition specific to the bride and/or groom''s family.
Tacori (and less eloquently, PurrfectPear), are saying that it is not very classy to do anything that seems money hungry etc. during the wedding planning process. This would be one of those things if it is not part of your culture. This is the same reason why the brides family is not "supposed" to host the bridal shower, etc., and why you should not include registry information with your invitations. Sure, most folks will give a gift at some point or in some form, but a guest should never feel obligated to do so.

 

[zoebartlett]

I''ve seen dollar dances at only a few weddings I''ve been to, but my husband and I chose not to have one at our wedding.

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 8/26/2008 4:13:15 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
There has been a many of heated thread on money dances. I personally do not like them. What is worse was we were at a wedding where the guests were FORCED and GUILTED to participate. We paid to fly out to their wedding, hotel room, DH''s tux rental, gift, etc...sorry I was not going to shell out more money for a dance (both the bride and groom were doing it).

we must have been at the same wedding - and here i felt bad for only giving a 5 ?!?!

its awful when people push the B&G to do it, becuase what if no one goes up?? how embarrassing!!

 

[jcrow]

Date: 8/26/2008 4:58:49 PM
Author: jcarlylew

Date: 8/26/2008 4:13:15 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

There has been a many of heated thread on money dances. I personally do not like them. What is worse was we were at a wedding where the guests were FORCED and GUILTED to participate. We paid to fly out to their wedding, hotel room, DH''s tux rental, gift, etc...sorry I was not going to shell out more money for a dance (both the bride and groom were doing it).

we must have been at the same wedding - and here i felt bad for only giving a 5 ?!?!

its awful when people push the B&G to do it, becuase what if no one goes up?? how embarrassing!!

i dunno. for us, if no one went up, it wasn''t a big deal. hubs and i started off dancing together. if people wanted to "pin" a dollar, they''d cut in. if not, i guess we would have continued to dance just the two of us. i don''t think anyone would have thought a thing. i mean, our egos would have been bruised... but that''s all

 

[Cass]

I''m from NY and have never been to a wedding here where there was the dollar dance... however, when I went to a wedding in SC, the couple did it. Everyone had a blast and the couple made like an extra $300.

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 8/26/2008 5:07:35 PM
Author: jcrow

Date: 8/26/2008 4:58:49 PM
Author: jcarlylew

Date: 8/26/2008 4:13:15 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

There has been a many of heated thread on money dances. I personally do not like them. What is worse was we were at a wedding where the guests were FORCED and GUILTED to participate. We paid to fly out to their wedding, hotel room, DH''s tux rental, gift, etc...sorry I was not going to shell out more money for a dance (both the bride and groom were doing it).

we must have been at the same wedding - and here i felt bad for only giving a 5 ?!?!

its awful when people push the B&G to do it, becuase what if no one goes up?? how embarrassing!!

i dunno. for us, if no one went up, it wasn''t a big deal. hubs and i started off dancing together. if people wanted to ''pin'' a dollar, they''d cut in. if not, i guess we would have continued to dance just the two of us. i don''t think anyone would have thought a thing. i mean, our egos would have been bruised... but that''s all

oh, understood, definately depends on the couple. the wedding i was at, NO ONE lined up and the DJ kept on asking people to come up and give them money. It looked pretty bad

I don''t think the DJ did that one very well.

 

[ponderer]

How to know if you are going to do a "dollar dance" :

1. If this is a cultural thing/tradition for your family, just do it. (You probably won''t question it to begin with.)

2. If you have to ask if you should do it, or even what it is, DON''T DO IT!

3. If one side of the family does it and the other does not, I have no idea what to do. Maybe just go with what will offend the fewest guests.

 

[goldenstar]

Its a tradition where I''m from, and I''ve never been to a wedding where guests were FORCED to participate.

I like the money dance tradition, but I object to the use of guilt or force. Good hosts would never make their guests do something they don''t want to do.

If we decide to do one, I''m positive people will come up to dance with us because my family expects to have the dance. They would be more confused if we didn''t have the dance. Also, the bridesmaids and groomsmen can dance with the bride and groom to get the ball rolling.

At all the weddings I''ve been to, the money dance has been nothing but fun.

 

[neatfreak]

Personally, I hate them, but I understand completely if it truly is a cultural thing for the couple and I think it''s then totally fine to do one. But I have to say...I''ve been to a few weddings where it was clearly just to get $. THEN I think it''s very tacky.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Date: 8/26/2008 12:37:20 PM
Author:galvana
Hi All
Forgive my lack of knowledge but what is dance money? I have seen brides post it here a few times.
you can get money at your wedding? if there are ways, outside of the gifts, please tell me how!?? LOL

If you have to ask, don''t. I have been to weddings where they do them, but it was built into their culture and everyone expected it and gave a smaller cash amount in gifts so they could give some at the dance; the couples didn''t actually make any more money in my experience. If you are just doing it for the money with no cultural reason , just greed, that is TACKY wherever you are.

My favorite money dance was at a wedding of Cyprus expats. People brought small bills so they could pin a bunch and by the end she had a green wedding dress, it was a kick to watch her try to dance without losing any!

 

[Haven]

I stood up in a wedding for a bride who was from an Asian country and the money dance was a very big tradition for her family. They even sewed garments out of bills (and I''m not talking singles!) and had them ready for the dance.

Otherwise, I think it is tasteless. I''ve only been to one other wedding with a money dance, and the bride and groom were something like thirteenth generation American from Chicago. It is not a tradition here, and they even said something along the lines of "Okay, now, time to pay up for your meal!"*

Nice.

*They were my ex''s friends, btw. I certainly don''t have friends who behave in this manner.

 

[CJ2008]

Date: 8/26/2008 7:37:47 PM
Author: brazen_irish_hussy

Date: 8/26/2008 12:37:20 PM
Author:galvana
Hi All
Forgive my lack of knowledge but what is dance money? I have seen brides post it here a few times.
you can get money at your wedding? if there are ways, outside of the gifts, please tell me how!?? LOL

If you have to ask, don''t. I have been to weddings where they do them, but it was built into their culture and everyone expected it and gave a smaller cash amount in gifts so they could give some at the dance; the couples didn''t actually make any more money in my experience. If you are just doing it for the money with no cultural reason , just greed, that is TACKY wherever you are.

My favorite money dance was at a wedding of Cyprus expats. People brought small bills so they could pin a bunch and by the end she had a green wedding dress, it was a kick to watch her try to dance without losing any!

I agree...

Not part of my culture at all, and I''ve never been to a wedding where there was one.

If it''s a cultural thing though it is ignorant, in my opinion, to say it is tasteless or rude or classeless or whatever. It''s part of the culture!

I don''t think under any circumstances though, anyone should be made to feel as if they have to participate. If it was part of my culture, and I was having a wedding here in the US, where I knew some of my guests wouldn''t be expecting it or know what to do, I would go out of my way to explain somehow (maybe in writing, on the tables, in a cute little program or whatever) that it was a cherished tradition in my country and that it''s being done for family...and that they were not at all expected to participate.