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Dad at 13

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OUpearlgirl

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I find this story incredibly sad. I don''t even know how to put into words how this made me feel..

Article
 

FrekeChild

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OMG.
 

FrekeChild

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But did he have a kid at 11 or 12?
 

E B

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I don't mean to turn this into a debate, but this is ridiculous:

Last night Michaela Aston, of the anti-abortion Christian charity LIFE, said: “We commend these teenagers for their courage in bringing their child into the world.

“At the same time this is symptomatic of the over-sexualisation of our youngsters and shows the policy of value-free sex education just isn’t working.”


A poor excuse, especially given the teenage father confessed "he didn't know what he was doing and of the complications that could come."

"Value-free" (give me a break!
) sex education IS important (from parents or teachers) and could have possibly prevented this pregnancy by stressing the importance of safe sex.
 

FrekeChild

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Ditto EBree...
 

OUpearlgirl

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Oh EBree, I agree completely.
 

ksinger

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While it IS pretty tragic, I wonder why this deemed worthy of such a write-up. Girls get PREGNANT at 13 and 14 fairly often which I consider equally tragic, yet it hardly registers as a blip on our consciousness anymore, let alone being front page news. It''s probably because he looks like a 3rd grader....
 

JulieN

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Date: 2/13/2009 6:56:59 PM
Author: FrekeChild
But did he have a kid at 11 or 12?
Nah...I think he''d be a great dad, once he settles down.

BTW, does anyone doubt the authenticity of this? Is something like The Sun reliable news?
 

luckystar112

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Date: 2/13/2009 7:37:52 PM
Author: ksinger
While it IS pretty tragic, I wonder why this deemed worthy of such a write-up. Girls get PREGNANT at 13 and 14 fairly often which I consider equally tragic, yet it hardly registers as a blip on our consciousness anymore, let alone being front page news. It''s probably because he looks like a 3rd grader....
Agreed. It happens all the time. When I was younger a pregnant 12 year old lived next door to me. By the time seventh grade rolled around, two others were pregnant. All three of them were friends, which I think had a lot to do with it.
 

starsapphire

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Dang, the mother, is like a giant next to him!!! Wow, at least it was only one child, not like Octomom.
 

Dancing Fire

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he could be a grandpa by the age of 26-27 !
 

Po10472

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First off, The Sun is a tacky, tabloid, sensationalist newspaper which essentially relies on sex and scandal to sell. Lets just say that it still has page 3 models in it and for those that don''t know what a page 3 model is, its a semi naked picture of a woman! Its still back in the 70''s where its mysoginistic, has politically unstable views and well its just a shocking tabloid which sadly sells millions everyday. This kind of story is totally believable tho and although I disagree with The Sun, it does tend to highlight these really sad stories, its their bread and butter so to speak.

What I find absolutely shocking about this is the fact that this poor baby will be caught up in the system and will no doubt be brought up by the grandparents, if they''re around. I understand that mistakes can happen and there are young mothers and fathers out there who do a good job but lets be honest here, why at 13 and 14 are they having sex???? When I was that age, if a boy talked to me I blushed so sex was not on my agenda. Different generation, different pressures sure, but they''re more informed, have access to better resources and have more money than we did to buy contraception if they do decide to go down that road, so why are teenage pregnancies on the increase??? - rhetorical question.

When I look at that wee boys face it makes me really sad cos he looks the same age as my 8-year old niece! What the hell do they know about life to bring up a life at 13!
 

steph72276

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Date: 2/14/2009 3:18:08 AM
Author: Po10472
First off, The Sun is a tacky, tabloid, sensationalist newspaper which essentially relies on sex and scandal to sell. Lets just say that it still has page 3 models in it and for those that don't know what a page 3 model is, its a semi naked picture of a woman! Its still back in the 70's where its mysoginistic, has politically unstable views and well its just a shocking tabloid which sadly sells millions everyday. This kind of story is totally believable tho and although I disagree with The Sun, it does tend to highlight these really sad stories, its their bread and butter so to speak.


What I find absolutely shocking about this is the fact that this poor baby will be caught up in the system and will no doubt be brought up by the grandparents, if they're around. I understand that mistakes can happen and there are young mothers and fathers out there who do a good job but lets be honest here, why at 13 and 14 are they having sex???? When I was that age, if a boy talked to me I blushed so sex was not on my agenda. Different generation, different pressures sure, but they're more informed, have access to better resources and have more money than we did to buy contraception if they do decide to go down that road, so why are teenage pregnancies on the increase??? - rhetorical question.


When I look at that wee boys face it makes me really sad cos he looks the same age as my 8-year old niece! What the hell do they know about life to bring up a life at 13!
Just personal opinion, but my thoughts on why the teenage pregnancy rate is going up...Kids are exposed to sex everywhere in our society today. It's on network television, daytime television, entertainment news, magazine covers....they are bombarded with it, so it is normal for them to want to experiment with it. And parents are not being parents these days....too many want to be the child's "friend" and not enough want to discipline. And not enough are teaching kids to have good values. There are no penalties to bad behavior. Also, most kids these days grow up as latch-key kids. Which is fine, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with 2 parents working, and realize that it is a necessity for many, but they have access to homes with no parents, and all these things combined lead to stories like these....
 

ksinger

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Date: 2/14/2009 8:45:24 PM
Author: steph72276


Just personal opinion, but my thoughts on why the teenage pregnancy rate is going up...Kids are exposed to sex everywhere in our society today. It's on network television, daytime television, entertainment news, magazine covers....they are bombarded with it, so it is normal for them to want to experiment with it. And parents are not being parents these days....too many want to be the child's 'friend' and not enough want to discipline. And not enough are teaching kids to have good values. There are no penalties to bad behavior. Also, most kids these days grow up as latch-key kids. Which is fine, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with 2 parents working, and realize that it is a necessity for many, but they have access to homes with no parents, and all these things combined lead to stories like these....
Honestly, I'm not trying to be snarky here, but before you make statements like that, you should check a few facts to see if your opinion is actually borne out by them. (Variations of this discussion have been had in here ad nauseum, to the point that I have some of these stats actually linked into my favorites, I've checked them SO many times...) The teen pregnancy rate overall has actually been falling for more than a decade, in spite of popular perception to the contrary. The rate of decline has apparently been slowing, up until 2006 when some groups showed signs of increase again. It's still not known if this is a blip or a genuine trend. But suffice to say, the teen pregnancy rate has NOT been going up, until perhaps 2006, in spite of the increased sexualization of our society, which has also not just been going on in society "today" but has been going on for quite awhile.

From the first link I gave, the first part of the summary page:

Each year, almost 750,000 teenage women aged 15–19 become pregnant. The teenage pregnancy rate in this country is at its lowest level in 30 years, down 36% since its peak in 1990. A growing body of research suggests that both increased abstinence and changes in contraceptive practice are responsible for recent declines in teenage pregnancy.1

• The teenage pregnancy rate among those who ever had intercourse declined 28% between
1990 and 2002.

• The teenage birthrate in 2002 was 30% lower than the peak rate of 61.8 births per 1,000
women, reached in 1991.

• Between 1988 and 2000, teenage pregnancy rates declined in every state and in the
District of Columbia.

• By 2002, the teenage abortion rate had dropped by 50% from its peak in 1988.

• From 1986 to 2002, the proportion of teenage pregnancies ending in abortion declined
more than one-quarter from 46% to 34% of pregnancies among 15–19-year-olds.

• Among black women aged 15–19, the nationwide pregnancy rate fell by 40% between
1990 and 2002.

• Among white teenagers, it declined by 34% during the same time period.

• Among Hispanic teenagers, who may be of any race, the pregnancy rate increased
slightly from 1991–1992, but by 2002 was 19% lower than the 1990 rate.

In general, states with the largest numbers of teenagers also had the greatest number of teenage pregnancies. California reported the highest number of adolescent pregnancies (113,000), followed by Texas, New York, Florida and Illinois (with about 37,000–80,000 each). The smallest numbers of teenage pregnancies were in Vermont, North Dakota, Wyoming, South Dakota and Alaska, all of which reported fewer than 2,000 pregnancies among women aged 15– 19.
 

steph72276

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Date: 2/14/2009 10:54:01 PM
Author: ksinger
Date: 2/14/2009 8:45:24 PM

Author: steph72276



Just personal opinion, but my thoughts on why the teenage pregnancy rate is going up...Kids are exposed to sex everywhere in our society today. It''s on network television, daytime television, entertainment news, magazine covers....they are bombarded with it, so it is normal for them to want to experiment with it. And parents are not being parents these days....too many want to be the child''s ''friend'' and not enough want to discipline. And not enough are teaching kids to have good values. There are no penalties to bad behavior. Also, most kids these days grow up as latch-key kids. Which is fine, I''m not saying there is anything wrong with 2 parents working, and realize that it is a necessity for many, but they have access to homes with no parents, and all these things combined lead to stories like these....
Honestly, I''m not trying to be snarky here, but before you make statements like that, you should check a few facts to see if your opinion is actually borne out by them. (Variations of this discussion have been had in here ad nauseum, to the point that I have some of these stats actually linked into my favorites, I''ve checked them SO many times...) The teen pregnancy rate overall has actually been falling for more than a decade, in spite of popular perception to the contrary. The rate of decline has apparently been slowing, up until 2006 when some groups showed signs of increase again. It''s still not known if this is a blip or a genuine trend. But suffice to say, the teen pregnancy rate has NOT been going up, until perhaps 2006, in spite of the increased sexualization of our society, which has also not just been going on in society ''today'' but has been going on for quite awhile.


From the first link I gave, the first part of the summary page:


Each year, almost 750,000 teenage women aged 15–19 become pregnant. The teenage pregnancy rate in this country is at its lowest level in 30 years, down 36% since its peak in 1990. A growing body of research suggests that both increased abstinence and changes in contraceptive practice are responsible for recent declines in teenage pregnancy.1


• The teenage pregnancy rate among those who ever had intercourse declined 28% between

1990 and 2002.


• The teenage birthrate in 2002 was 30% lower than the peak rate of 61.8 births per 1,000

women, reached in 1991.


• Between 1988 and 2000, teenage pregnancy rates declined in every state and in the

District of Columbia.


• By 2002, the teenage abortion rate had dropped by 50% from its peak in 1988.


• From 1986 to 2002, the proportion of teenage pregnancies ending in abortion declined

more than one-quarter from 46% to 34% of pregnancies among 15–19-year-olds.


• Among black women aged 15–19, the nationwide pregnancy rate fell by 40% between

1990 and 2002.


• Among white teenagers, it declined by 34% during the same time period.


• Among Hispanic teenagers, who may be of any race, the pregnancy rate increased

slightly from 1991–1992, but by 2002 was 19% lower than the 1990 rate.


In general, states with the largest numbers of teenagers also had the greatest number of teenage pregnancies. California reported the highest number of adolescent pregnancies (113,000), followed by Texas, New York, Florida and Illinois (with about 37,000–80,000 each). The smallest numbers of teenage pregnancies were in Vermont, North Dakota, Wyoming, South Dakota and Alaska, all of which reported fewer than 2,000 pregnancies among women aged 15– 19.
Ok, so you are giving me facts between 1990 and 2002? And it has risen since 2006? I''m confused since we are now in 2009 and it has been back on the rise for 3 years. Even if the rates were steady, do you not think 750,000 teenaged pregnancies a year is a huge problem? Just seems like you are into arguing with people.
 

ksinger

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Date: 2/15/2009 8:40:33 AM
Author: steph72276

Date: 2/14/2009 10:54:01 PM
Author: ksinger

Date: 2/14/2009 8:45:24 PM

Author: steph72276



Just personal opinion, but my thoughts on why the teenage pregnancy rate is going up...Kids are exposed to sex everywhere in our society today. It''s on network television, daytime television, entertainment news, magazine covers....they are bombarded with it, so it is normal for them to want to experiment with it. And parents are not being parents these days....too many want to be the child''s ''friend'' and not enough want to discipline. And not enough are teaching kids to have good values. There are no penalties to bad behavior. Also, most kids these days grow up as latch-key kids. Which is fine, I''m not saying there is anything wrong with 2 parents working, and realize that it is a necessity for many, but they have access to homes with no parents, and all these things combined lead to stories like these....
Honestly, I''m not trying to be snarky here, but before you make statements like that, you should check a few facts to see if your opinion is actually borne out by them. (Variations of this discussion have been had in here ad nauseum, to the point that I have some of these stats actually linked into my favorites, I''ve checked them SO many times...) The teen pregnancy rate overall has actually been falling for more than a decade, in spite of popular perception to the contrary. The rate of decline has apparently been slowing, up until 2006 when some groups showed signs of increase again. It''s still not known if this is a blip or a genuine trend. But suffice to say, the teen pregnancy rate has NOT been going up, until perhaps 2006, in spite of the increased sexualization of our society, which has also not just been going on in society ''today'' but has been going on for quite awhile.


From the first link I gave, the first part of the summary page:


Each year, almost 750,000 teenage women aged 15–19 become pregnant. The teenage pregnancy rate in this country is at its lowest level in 30 years, down 36% since its peak in 1990. A growing body of research suggests that both increased abstinence and changes in contraceptive practice are responsible for recent declines in teenage pregnancy.1


• The teenage pregnancy rate among those who ever had intercourse declined 28% between

1990 and 2002.


• The teenage birthrate in 2002 was 30% lower than the peak rate of 61.8 births per 1,000

women, reached in 1991.


• Between 1988 and 2000, teenage pregnancy rates declined in every state and in the

District of Columbia.


• By 2002, the teenage abortion rate had dropped by 50% from its peak in 1988.


• From 1986 to 2002, the proportion of teenage pregnancies ending in abortion declined

more than one-quarter from 46% to 34% of pregnancies among 15–19-year-olds.


• Among black women aged 15–19, the nationwide pregnancy rate fell by 40% between

1990 and 2002.


• Among white teenagers, it declined by 34% during the same time period.


• Among Hispanic teenagers, who may be of any race, the pregnancy rate increased

slightly from 1991–1992, but by 2002 was 19% lower than the 1990 rate.


In general, states with the largest numbers of teenagers also had the greatest number of teenage pregnancies. California reported the highest number of adolescent pregnancies (113,000), followed by Texas, New York, Florida and Illinois (with about 37,000–80,000 each). The smallest numbers of teenage pregnancies were in Vermont, North Dakota, Wyoming, South Dakota and Alaska, all of which reported fewer than 2,000 pregnancies among women aged 15– 19.
Ok, so you are giving me facts between 1990 and 2002? And it has risen since 2006? I''m confused since we are now in 2009 and it has been back on the rise for 3 years. Even if the rates were steady, do you not think 750,000 teenaged pregnancies a year is a huge problem? Just seems like you are into arguing with people.
The article I linked showing an increase in 2006 didn''t go past 2006, so I don''t know if the rate has continued to increase or not. The article did say that it was too early to know whether it was a trend or just a blip. I suspect is IS a trend, but there are not any stats I can find - and I have looked - for 2007 or 2008 to bear out that suspicion. As for the second highlighted statement, you just don''t know that. As for attributing a (debatable) increase in teen pregnancy rates to exposure to things sexual in the culture, it doesn''t work very well because it would have had to have worked as an "increasing" pressure in the 90''s and early 2000s too, but it clearly didn''t. Unless of course your exposure to things sexual only began in 2006. And yes, I do think teen pregnancy is a problem.

In any case, I really was just trying to give a bit of perspective and stats to counter the hang-wringing "kids and society these days" type of statements. There always seems to be this idea lurking somewhere in our collective consciousness of some golden age in the past - in the popular mind it''s usually the 50''s - when we all lived in some sort of lovely picture postcard world. We never have. I''ve revised my personal opinions about how the world used to work and how it does work today, quite a bit since I was young. Reading bunches will do that to a person if they aren''t careful.

As for arguing, well there are times when I do, yes. I didn''t consider this to be one of those times, because I really only posted a few facts. Trot out some opposing stats that refute them. I''ll be interested to read them. I read just about everything. If they''re compelling enough, I will revise what I "know". I do find it interesting though, how people respond when confronted by actual information that contradicts a "personal opinion". They either go, "Wow. I didn''t really know that. Maybe this issue is more complex than I thought. I will have to modify what I thought I knew." Or they accuse the person who contradicted their opinion with facts, as "arguing".
 

Po10472

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I''d just like to point out that teenage pregnanies are on the increase in the UK and this is where I''m from and live and where this story originated and I can back that up with stats etc like yourself.

I''d also like to add that to add insult to injury it has been reported today that there is a 16 year old boy now in the fray demanding a paternity test claiming he''s the father of this baby and not the 13 year old!

So not only has this young girl of 15 had 1 partner she''s allegedly had more than 1 partner which puts in doubt who the actual father is.

Really very sad.
 

steph72276

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If you look at the comments above my first response, the person was wondering why this is such a rampant problem. In my first comment, the first line clearly states that THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION. In stating this, there is no need for you to come in and give me a bunch of statistical facts and figures on if the rates are rising, declining or staying the same because it doesn''t change my OPINION on WHY we have this problem. Whether it is on the rise or stagnant, this is obviously an enormous problem and I don''t see anything wrong with discussing the many reasons behind the issue.
By the way, if you start your comment with "I''m not trying to be snarky", chances are you are being snarky and it will evoke an unfavorable response. There is nothing wrong with stating the facts and I appreciate you pointing out that the data is not available yet for the past few years (which seems odd btw that we can''t get statistics up to date), but I clearly stated this is my opinion on the problem, I wasn''t debating if there is a problem in the first place.
 

steph72276

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Date: 2/15/2009 10:51:42 AM
Author: steph72276
If you look at the comments above my first response, the person was wondering why this is such a rampant problem. In my first comment, the first line clearly states that THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION. In stating this, there is no need for you to come in and give me a bunch of statistical facts and figures on if the rates are rising, declining or staying the same because it doesn't change my OPINION on WHY we have this problem. Whether it is on the rise or stagnant, this is obviously an enormous problem and I don't see anything wrong with discussing the many reasons behind the issue.

By the way, if you start your comment with 'I'm not trying to be snarky', chances are you are being snarky and it will evoke an unfavorable response. There is nothing wrong with stating the facts and I appreciate you pointing out that the data is not available yet for the past few years (which seems odd btw that we can't get statistics up to date), but I clearly stated this is my opinion on the problem, I wasn't debating if there is a problem in the first place.
ETA: Thank you PO, I believed we were talking about the UK as well since that is where the story originated.
 

ksinger

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Date: 2/15/2009 10:53:40 AM
Author: steph72276

Date: 2/15/2009 10:51:42 AM
Author: steph72276
If you look at the comments above my first response, the person was wondering why this is such a rampant problem. In my first comment, the first line clearly states that THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION. In stating this, there is no need for you to come in and give me a bunch of statistical facts and figures on if the rates are rising, declining or staying the same because it doesn''t change my OPINION on WHY we have this problem. Whether it is on the rise or stagnant, this is obviously an enormous problem and I don''t see anything wrong with discussing the many reasons behind the issue.

By the way, if you start your comment with ''I''m not trying to be snarky'', chances are you are being snarky and it will evoke an unfavorable response. There is nothing wrong with stating the facts and I appreciate you pointing out that the data is not available yet for the past few years (which seems odd btw that we can''t get statistics up to date), but I clearly stated this is my opinion on the problem, I wasn''t debating if there is a problem in the first place.
ETA: Thank you PO, I believed we were talking about the UK as well since that is where the story originated.
I really wasn''t trying to be snarky, in spite of what you may think. Maybe I just do it like breathing, although I suspect I would have been accused of it without a disclaimer. In any case, I apologize. I do think though, that you shouldn''t expect people to not challenge your opinions in ATW, or to not point out that they aren''t based in statistics or something other than conjecture. Part of your personal opinion was that pregnancy rates are going up. Until I did a bit of pointed research on the subject in the last year - in response to the endless threads on variations of this topic - I believed the same thing. But it wasn''t true, and I was a bit taken aback myself when I discovered that. THAT is what I was responding to. If the first part of your opinion (that teen pregnancy is on the rise - and if it is, it is after about a 14 year streak of decline) is questionable, then the second part trying to explain the first part becomes irrelevant.

You do make the point though, that we are talking the UK. My bad. I made that classic mistake, which is to assume that everyone is talking from an American viewpoint or about America and her statistics. I know little about UK stats on this sort of thing, so all that went before is irrelevant to that particular aspect of the discussion.
 

merlinthecat

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I remember telling my kids that any idiot can have sex. Not much intellect required.

However....relationships are difficult. It''s about getting to know someone, spending time with them and learning to care and respect that person. It''s ok giving kids sex education and advice on contraception but they don''t understand that a relationship involves commitment and taking responsibility for your actions.

Little Alfe should still be playing out with his mates and ridding his bike!

Other boys are claiming to be the father now.....but it wouldn''t have made headline news if the father was 15 or 16. The fact that Alfe was only 13 has allowed them to sell their story to the media. They''ve probably made quite a bit of money, regardless of who the real dad is.

Merl.
 

steph72276

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KSinger, thank you for your response. I just went on what Po was saying that the rate in the UK was going up without backing it up with facts because I just assumed she had already done the research for the UK statistics. I agree that facts should be brought into it, but in this particular conversation, we were discussing the "whys" of the situation rather than if there was a problem in the first place. I don''t think the whys can be measured statistically and therefore anyone''s response will be based on opinion. I think we can all agree that teenage pregnancy is a huge issue that needs to be more of a priority for parents and school alike.
 

Po10472

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I believe that opinions should be based on knowledge and facts first however sometimes we have an opinion and can''t really back it up, its a feeling.....if you know what I mean
. Everyone is entitled to an opinion........well, as long as its my opinion!!
.

I have to be honest and say that I don''t always believe in statistics as they can be skewed depending on the sample size or made to fit whatever question you ask and we have to look at varying reports to really come up with a correct and honest answer.

Certainly in the UK we have sensationlist reports that fit only to people living in England and Wales but its a different story entirerly in Scotland so you need to look at the bigger picture. For example, birth rates in Scotland are on the increase, particularly in the West of Scotland however across the UK it is claimed that birth rates are declining, why is this, cos they tend to focus on London because twice as many people live in that city than in the whole of Scotland.

Its the old adage of lies, damned lies and statistics - Mark Twain.
 

Italiahaircolor

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Where are the parents? Why didn''t anyone step in and point out that there are other options aside from abortion? If they didn''t believe in that, that''s their right (I support a woman''s right to choose)...but why were they allowed to just "carry on"?
 

Tacori E-ring

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I think it is very sad. I feel horrible for that baby! I think I grew up in a bubble b/c I was not aware of ANY sexual activity (of any sort) when I was in middle school. Now that I have a daughter it already freaks me out to think she might be sexually active at a young age!
To me a 13 year old is still a kid. I remember seeing some talk show about a young girl (maybe 13 or 14) that desperately wanted to me a mom and was trying to get preggo. This was when my own daughter was a newborn and I wondered how and why motherhood is so glamorized to these young girls. Having a baby is HARD work. Teenagers are selfish by nature (which is okay and normal). I bet if these girls had to care for a newborn for a week they would be running to their doctor to get on BC pill.
 

steph72276

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Date: 2/17/2009 10:10:32 AM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I think it is very sad. I feel horrible for that baby! I think I grew up in a bubble b/c I was not aware of ANY sexual activity (of any sort) when I was in middle school. Now that I have a daughter it already freaks me out to think she might be sexually active at a young age!
To me a 13 year old is still a kid. I remember seeing some talk show about a young girl (maybe 13 or 14) that desperately wanted to me a mom and was trying to get preggo. This was when my own daughter was a newborn and I wondered how and why motherhood is so glamorized to these young girls. Having a baby is HARD work. Teenagers are selfish by nature (which is okay and normal). I bet if these girls had to care for a newborn for a week they would be running to their doctor to get on BC pill.
I agree, it is really sad. It is glamorized because they see stars all the time having babies out of wedlock and they think it is cool....but what they fail to realize is that these people live in multi-million dollar homes, have multiple nannies at their disposal, and can bring their children to work with them in many cases. Doesn''t really work out that way in real life...but by the time they realize that, it''s too late.
 
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