Wedding cute wording help!

[mimzy]

we are putting our registry info on our website, but i want to make a little disclaimer along the lines of ''your presence is the best present'' or something maybe a little less cheesy?

i can''t figure out a good way to express that while we don''t expect gifts, here''s our registry links (bb&b and amazon)

help!

 

[Selkie]

Personally, I wouldn't worry about putting a disclaimer there. I think we all get a little hung up on the idea that creating and posting a registry will be perceived as gift grubbing. But it's got a real, valid purpose, and anyone who's gotten to the point of checking out your website is generally there for information. Yes, it's tacky to include the info on your invites, but if someone has gone to your website and clicked on the registry link, they are most likely genuinely interested in getting you a gift (and seeing a disclaimer probably won't change their mind). So, I don't think it's necessary to be cute and coy about it at that point.

 

[Haven]

I don''t understand--do you really not want gifts? If so, don''t create a registry. If you don''t have a registry people will either get you what they want to get you anyway (which would happen with or without a registy) or they will ask where you''re registered and then you can tell them verbally that their presence is the best present.

I do think it''s a bad idea to put a "no gifts, please" disclaimer on a website with registry information, as it looks insincere to me.

 

[mimzy]

thanks for your replies ladies.

Selkie - i think you''re right....not much purpose in being coy about it if we have a registry link on our webpage!

Haven - no, we''d appreciate presents, i just wanted to put something a little nicer than "lexi and stefan are registered at amazon and bed bath and beyond" you know what i mean? but i guess if we are going to have a registry we might as well own up to it haha

 

[miraclesrule]

Personally, I am a fan of a registry. The whole point of starting a new life together is to get the things that help that possible. Everyone wants a nice luxurious towel to cuddle in after a warm shower. (I am also a firm believer tht the romactic thing to do while your DH is in the shower to toss the towel in the dryer and present it to him nice a toasty. But I am a sensual person and love that kind of stuff.

The most bizarre thing I ever saw was a friend of mine who had her MOH send out a notice that stated Bride wasn''t registered anywhere but that she would appreciate a donation to her childs college fund and they even attached a deposit slip with the account name and number. d''OH, that was t.a.c.k.y in my humble opinion, considering the child was one year old when they married. Oh well, to each his own.

 

[Haven]

Date: 4/23/2008 1:13:51 AM
Author: miraclesrule
The most bizarre thing I ever saw was a friend of mine who had her MOH send out a notice that stated Bride wasn''t registered anywhere but that she would appreciate a donation to her childs college fund and they even attached a deposit slip with the account name and number. d''OH, that was t.a.c.k.y in my humble opinion, considering the child was one year old when they married. Oh well, to each his own.

WHAT?! Miracles--This cannot be a true story. Honestly? This is an example of what my family would call The Height of Rudeness. THE HEIGHT! I''m in a bit of shock.

Anyway--Mimz, I think it''s perfectly acceptable to state your registries and graciously accept the gifts (and then send thank you letters) as they come in. People know that you''re going to register for your wedding, and if anyone is offended then they can go browse someone else''s wedding website!

 

[mimzy]

miracles - that''s horrible!

haven - thanks etiquette queen!!

you''re like the superhero of etiquette on PS, always there to save the day and set offenders straight

 

[noelwr]

I was also wondering this, but we''re actually not going to have a registry as we already have everything we want. (well, he proposed to have a registry at an electronice store as he''s a techie... but common). our problem is that we''re having our wedding abroad and I want to tactfully let everyone know that I will not accept any gift because I don''t feel like lugging all this crap back home on the plane. I was also thinking of something like "your presence is the most wonderful gift you can give us" but that doesn''t really get the point across that we don''t want people to go out and get us sentimental crap that we won''t end up liking. I was thinking of maybe if they insist on giving us something that they just put money on our bank account (this is common where I live so don''t go into shock).

 

[mimzy]

Date: 4/24/2008 2:24:47 PM
Author: noelwr
I was also wondering this, but we're actually not going to have a registry as we already have everything we want. (well, he proposed to have a registry at an electronice store as he's a techie... but common). our problem is that we're having our wedding abroad and I want to tactfully let everyone know that I will not accept any gift because I don't feel like lugging all this crap back home on the plane. I was also thinking of something like 'your presence is the most wonderful gift you can give us' but that doesn't really get the point across that we don't want people to go out and get us sentimental crap that we won't end up liking. I was thinking of maybe if they insist on giving us something that they just put money on our bank account (this is common where I live so don't go into shock).

i can't help it! where do you live???


i would spread the word that since it is overseas you would be unable to take things back with you due to luggage restrictions, etc. but with that said i wouldn't think it would be very nice to discourage material gifts if you are accepting cash gifts. it seems like it should be an all or nothing thing; be gracious and accept anything someone wants to give you, or don't accept anything at all

 

[noelwr]

mimzy, we live in Holland. with the wedding invitation (which is very simple with names, venue, date and time), you will get another piece of paper that has directions, describes if there is a party or a dinner, and then says if you want to give a gift, the couple are saving to buy a xxxxx, and thus would appreciate a donation to their bank account nr xxxxx. but you are right, I don''t want money either as some people are already spending so much money to get there, so I''ll probably just say NO gifts.

by the way, in Holland, they invite you to the wedding ceremony, then a small reception for champagne and wedding cake, then expect you to bugger off for a few hours while they have dinner with just their closest family and friends, and then will maybe invite you back to a party (sometimes there is no party). this is because they''re too cheap to pay for everyone to have dinner. I am allowed to say this about Dutch people, because I myself am Dutch. it is very expensive to have a dinner party. which is one of the reasons we are doing it in SA as everything is much more affordable (and we don''t have to fly his whole family to Holland).

 

[Pandora II]

For my grandmother''s 90th we were all told:

Your presence desired
No presents required

which I thought was cute.

Needless to say I brought a gift!

 

[Haven]

Date: 4/23/2008 9:30:49 PM
Author: mimzy
miracles - that''s horrible!


haven - thanks etiquette queen!!

you''re like the superhero of etiquette on PS, always there to save the day and set offenders straight

So funny! Don''t be fooled, I just love the etiquette books because they tell us so much about society throughout the years. Love ''em!

 

[miraclesrule]

Seriously, I was not joking.

But noelwr brings up a good point. I have seen other posts from girls abroad (no pun intended) who say that it is customary in their country to do things that most Americans are taught to judge as the epitome of t.a.c.k.y. For example, I saw one post where the recipients of the invite immediately send a check in the amount of what it costs to feed them at the wedding.

Heck, I thought that was brilliant. I tried to talk my daughter into starting a new American trend when I read that post.

She didn''t bite.

 

[noelwr]

I got another difference for you... the names.

in Holland, we are never allowed to officially change our names to our husband''s name. you can let the municipality know that you would like to be called Mrs. (His Name) and address mail to you like this, but they will not change your name on any of your legal papers. this is why when you book flights, you can never book for Mr. and Mrs. (His Name). You always have to book for Mr. (His Name) and Mrs. (Maiden Name) as they have to match the name in your passport.