Cultural differences

[MichelleCarmen]

Do you require that people take their shoes off when they enter your house? Would you find it rude if they didn't?

I come from a culture where you don't take your shoes off when you visit somebody else's house; in fact, the only time you might walk around barefoot is in your own house. quote]


Oh, I just want to add that I wear flip flops in the summer and if I am planning a visit to a friend's house, I will instead wear shoes so when I'm walking around inside, my feet aren't bare.

 

[chemgirl]

eta: i have indoor shoes that obviously i wear indoors only. hubby is from australia and 99.9% of the time can be found barefoot even on our tile floors. he has a pair of uggs that he wears indoors only if it really is cold.

MZ, I wonder if Aussies in general don't wear shoes in the house? I never asked. I think Canadians don't either. Which is odd because I once heard that Americans wear shoes in the house because the early Americans didn't have homes with clean flooring. You'd think Australia would have the same issue? Don't know if that's a myth though.

Anyone know why Americans, as a culture, wear shoes in the house? I think there was actually a PS thread on this long ago (I may have started it, in fact) but I can't remember for sure.

You're right, we don't! Most houses I visit have a rubber bottomed rug at the door and a shoe rack. Snow and slush are big issues here in the winter and all outdoor walking surfaces are either salted or sanded depending on the climate (colder temps require sanding). The front entrance is almost always tile. I shudder to think of the mess that would be caused by salty shoes all over my hardwood floors! We take our shoes off, but we still manage to get chunks of rocksalt all over the place.

ETA: People with orthopedic shoes have a special pair for indoors use only. In gradeschool, we were required to bring a pair of shoes for inside and leave them in the classroom to make sure we didn't wear them outside.

 

[mayerling]

In my circle of friends, and more specifically MY KIDS circle of friends, shoes are ALWAYS taken off. I've never once had to ask my kids' friends to take their shoes off. It's a given.

Maybe it's just where we live or something as nobody ever enters a house around here and walks around with shoes on (and it has nothing to do with culture, just the fact of respect). The only people I know who do walk around with shoes inside our house is my Dh's family and I think it's rude and presumptious for them to think they are above such an obvious rule. Every holiday (especially around Thanksgiving) are carpet was GROSS after they visited with leaves and gunky pine needles on our carpet. Just flat out disrepectful.

I completely understand this. However, how do they manage to get all that in the house? Don't they wipe their shoes on the mat before walking in? I understand that wouldn't get rid of pesticide residue, etc., but it should remove leaves and pine needles...

 

[MichelleCarmen]

In my circle of friends, and more specifically MY KIDS circle of friends, shoes are ALWAYS taken off. I've never once had to ask my kids' friends to take their shoes off. It's a given.

Maybe it's just where we live or something as nobody ever enters a house around here and walks around with shoes on (and it has nothing to do with culture, just the fact of respect). The only people I know who do walk around with shoes inside our house is my Dh's family and I think it's rude and presumptious for them to think they are above such an obvious rule. Every holiday (especially around Thanksgiving) are carpet was GROSS after they visited with leaves and gunky pine needles on our carpet. Just flat out disrepectful.

I completely understand this. However, how do they manage to get all that in the house? Don't they wipe their shoes on the mat before walking in? I understand that wouldn't get rid of pesticide residue, etc., but it should remove leaves and pine needles...

Noooo, they didn't wipe their feet. In fact when they did make the biggest mess was when we lived in a really nice house and I always wondered if it was some passive aggressive type thing. lol Ugh.

 

[kenny]

I'm kind of in the middle, but not.
In our own home I take precautions, but when they are not enough I just chill and don't worry about it.

Plus I use tacky mats, see below.

I'm not a clean freak with white carpeting covered in plastic runners but I wear slippers that I don't wear outside.
Besides two rug doormats, there is a brush at the door for the bottom of our shoes when entering our house.
I do not ask guests to remove their shoes but at that time of the year I do check the front sidewalk to see if fruit from trees is present. I don't care for figs or dates to be ground into my rugs.

When visiting others I do look for shoes outside the front door as a clue.
If I see them I automatically remove my shoes upon entering before being asked.
I can tell this is greatly appreciated.
I do have one friend (100% American caucasian) who politely requests that guests remove their shoes in the foyer.
They have a low stool and a shoe horn and (brand new in the package) bootie shoe-cover thingies right there to accommodate guests.

Tacky mats are used in the workplace in clean rooms and laboratories.
I use them at home.
You walk on them and they remove much of the stuff on your shoes.
It feels like walking on tape, and I warn guest so they don't trip.

They come in a pad of 30 and when it's no longer sticky you pull the top one off.
Depending on traffic one layer lasts perhaps 4 days at our house.
If you have kids pets and guest you may get one day's use.
Once you start using them you can't imagine being without them since you see what they trap.

http://libertyindustries.thomasnet.com/category/tacky-mats-

They are also great for controlling pet hair.

 

[artdecogirl]

eta: i have indoor shoes that obviously i wear indoors only. hubby is from australia and 99.9% of the time can be found barefoot even on our tile floors. he has a pair of uggs that he wears indoors only if it really is cold.

MZ, I wonder if Aussies in general don't wear shoes in the house? I never asked. I think Canadians don't either. Which is odd because I once heard that Americans wear shoes in the house because the early Americans didn't have homes with clean flooring. You'd think Australia would have the same issue? Don't know if that's a myth though.

Anyone know why Americans, as a culture, wear shoes in the house? I think there was actually a PS thread on this long ago (I may have started it, in fact) but I can't remember for sure.

I think this may be regional or? I am from the midwest and I was taught it would be the height of rudeness to not take your shoes off when you entered a home and I do not know anyone who does not take them off. It does get a little cold here so many people wear house shoes or slippers and I have never had a worker come to the house that did not carry shoe covers either.

 

[Tuckins1]

Yes, we take our shoes off in the house. My parents don't at their house. It's not a cultural thing, as much as a cleanliness thing. I find it disgusting to walk around in your shoes in the house, with all the dirt and filth from the streets, then get into bed with dirty feet that had been on the floor. Or, to let children to crawl around on a floor that people have walked on with their shoes. I wouldn't let my baby crawl around in the street, so I prefer not to have the street funk on my floors.

I find this confusing. You don't like dragging dirt from the streets into the house, so you prefer bare feet, but then you say that feet get dirty if they've been on the floor. I would think that if you don't want to get into bed with dirty feet, you'd rather not walk around barefoot.

Yeah, feet get dirty when walking in the house when PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WEARING THEIR SHOES IN IT.

And yes, I expect people to take their shoes off in my house, and do get upset if they don't. It's a respect thing. I would comply to other's requests in their homes.

I was just confused. I see your point now. There's no need to yell.

Yell?

I wasn't, just trying to show my point. Sometimes intonation doesn't really come across online. Sorry.

 

[eleguin]

We always take our shoes off and place them on a shoe rack by the door. In the summer we walk around barefoot and in the winter, we wear house slippers. This is mainly for sanitary reasons, as many have mentioned already. Regardless of whether you wipe the bottom of your shoes on a mat, there will be dirt and germs that enter the home as you walk around wearing outdoor shoes. This is especially unsanitary if you have others in the home who may sit on the floor or children that play on the floor.

There is also a comfort aspect in all this. For example, if I am cooking and need to check on the stove every now and then, I would go to the living room, curl up on the couch with my feet on the couch, and then go to the kitchen to see to my cooking. If you wore shoes around the house, wouldn't it be a bit of a hassle to constantly take on and off your shoes before curling up on the couch? Or do you just put your feet with your shoes on the couch? I've seen in many movies that people (mainly teens) would just plop on their bed with their shoes on. That just seems incredibly unsanitary IMO.

I have a friend who distinguishes between indoor pants and outdoor pants. When she returns home, she would change into PJ pants or similar before sitting on her bed/couch. Her reason is the same as the shoes - all day long she is sitting in the office, on a bench waiting for the subway, on the subway and who knows what kind of germs are picked up along the way. She of course does not request her guests to bring a change of pants.

 

[mayerling]

Yes, we take our shoes off in the house. My parents don't at their house. It's not a cultural thing, as much as a cleanliness thing. I find it disgusting to walk around in your shoes in the house, with all the dirt and filth from the streets, then get into bed with dirty feet that had been on the floor. Or, to let children to crawl around on a floor that people have walked on with their shoes. I wouldn't let my baby crawl around in the street, so I prefer not to have the street funk on my floors.

I find this confusing. You don't like dragging dirt from the streets into the house, so you prefer bare feet, but then you say that feet get dirty if they've been on the floor. I would think that if you don't want to get into bed with dirty feet, you'd rather not walk around barefoot.

Yeah, feet get dirty when walking in the house when PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WEARING THEIR SHOES IN IT.

And yes, I expect people to take their shoes off in my house, and do get upset if they don't. It's a respect thing. I would comply to other's requests in their homes.

I was just confused. I see your point now. There's no need to yell.

Yell?

I wasn't, just trying to show my point. Sometimes intonation doesn't really come across online. Sorry.

I'm sorry. I probably overreacted. I just always thought that capitals online equate to yelling.

 

[mayerling]

We always take our shoes off and place them on a shoe rack by the door. In the summer we walk around barefoot and in the winter, we wear house slippers. This is mainly for sanitary reasons, as many have mentioned already. Regardless of whether you wipe the bottom of your shoes on a mat, there will be dirt and germs that enter the home as you walk around wearing outdoor shoes. This is especially unsanitary if you have others in the home who may sit on the floor or children that play on the floor.

There is also a comfort aspect in all this. For example, if I am cooking and need to check on the stove every now and then, I would go to the living room, curl up on the couch with my feet on the couch, and then go to the kitchen to see to my cooking. If you wore shoes around the house, wouldn't it be a bit of a hassle to constantly take on and off your shoes before curling up on the couch? Or do you just put your feet with your shoes on the couch? I've seen in many movies that people (mainly teens) would just plop on their bed with their shoes on. That just seems incredibly unsanitary IMO.

I have a friend who distinguishes between indoor pants and outdoor pants. When she returns home, she would change into PJ pants or similar before sitting on her bed/couch. Her reason is the same as the shoes - all day long she is sitting in the office, on a bench waiting for the subway, on the subway and who knows what kind of germs are picked up along the way. She of course does not request her guests to bring a change of pants.

I should probably clarify that what I mean by wearing shoes in the house is that I find it ok to wear shoes in the house; not that I wear shoes in the house all the time. For example, if I get dressed to go to work (which I do in the bedroom) I also put my work shoes on and think it's ok to be wearing my shoes for the entire duration between getting dressed and leaving the house. When I come back from work, I think it's ok to keep my shoes on until I go to my bedroom and get undressed to take my shower. If I have guests over for dinner, and I'm wearing the outfit I'll be sporting for the evening, I think it's ok to have the matching shoes on. However, if I'm in the house for long periods of time I usually wear slippers which I take off before hopping onto the bed or putting my feet on the couch. I should probably mention that I'm one of those people that feels that hopping on the bed while wearing clothes (i.e. not pj's) is gross.

 

[qtiekiki]

We wear indoor slippers and our toddler goes barefoot (we can't get her to keep slippers on) in our house. We don't ask people to take off their shoes, but everyone does, probably because they are greeted by our shoes (just the pairs that we wore before we get home). Our visitors are families and friends, so I don't think greeting shoes are a big deal.

We always take our shoes off at other people's house unless we are told not to. I feel like it's more respectful to the hosts because we don't want to dirty their house. I've never thought about taking the shoes off as showing that I am being familiarized to the house. Come to think of it, growing up, people didn't take off their shoes at our house. I was living in Asia before 11. Maybe that's the reasoning back then. Though I never thought about it at that age.

ETA: DH thinks wearing non-pj clothes in bed is gross, and so the same reasoning goes for outdoor shoes in the house. He doesn't let me have shoes in our closets. So there's a shoe rack in our garage.

 

[slg47]

haha kenny, we used to have those in a lab I was working in (cleanroom)

my mom never let us wear shoes in the house. Why? because she didn't want us to track dirt inside. houseshoes? sure, but not the shoes we were wearing already.

However, since I have an apartment, I don't really care. I would want guests to be comfortable. also, FI and I both have foot problems and it is better for us to wear shoes.

 

[Prana]

I always take my shoes off inside. Sometimes my DH doesn't and it drives me CRAZY!! Wearing outside shoes inside just grosses me out to no extent! My parents house is a shoes-off environment, as are most of our close friends. DH parent's house, on the other hand, I do not take my shoes off because their house is dirty. I have a pair of slippers that I keep there for when I go there and plan on staying for a while. They all walk around sock-footed and bare-footed, and I cringe when I see the dirty bottoms of their feet never in all my life have the bottoms of my socks been dirty!

 

[zipzapgirl]

If you live in a climate where it snows or is otherwise very dirty outside (like fine clay particles), there is no way to get that off your shoes just by wiping them on the matt. Snow chunks will melt off your shoes and make an incredible mess. Also, when you live in a big city, you see the streets and can't imagine bringing that muck inside. So I'd say those are the instances where you'll definitely only see shoes-off households.

 

[anitabee]

i'm canadian and it's customary and very much expected to always take your shoes off in the foyer, by the door, etc before walking through any house. it's funny, though, because i did live in the states - louisiana - and realized that that wasn't the norm and in fact, people thought i was weird for doing so!

i think all cdns take shoes off and it may be a regional american thing. that's my hypothesis.

discuss amongst yourselves.

 

[zhuzhu]

We do go shoeless in our house as well. I have always had my guest asking us if they should remove their shoes - because they see our shoes by the door. The only exception was my mother in law and her husband.

What do you guys/gals suggest I say to them next time they visit, that is nicely put so it dose not come off as "demanding"?

 

[lliang_chi]

I always ask if the host(ess) wants me to remove my shoes. In the winter time, almost EVERYONE does if you're coming into person's home.

zhu, since you asked what you should say, I'd kinda go along these lines:
Guest: "Oh, I see everyone's shoes out here. Should I remove them?"
Host: "If you don't mind, that'd be great."

I have been to somes parties where I was asked to remove my shoes and others where I was told "You don't have to remove your shoes," and haven't thought anything of it. I can see it both ways.

 

[yssie]

No shoes in the house. I do ask guests to remove their shoes. Cultural (S. Asian), but it also just makes sense - I don't want goodness-knows-what from outside all over the carpets!

We wear either socks or slippers inside the house for exactly Tgal's reason - feet aren't any good for the carpet either.. though this one's out of habit, I don't particularly care about the apartment carpeting, I admit! It's a great excuse to go nuts with those adorable knitted slipper-socks

 

[eleguin]

For those of you who remove your shoes before entering the house, where do you put your shoes? DH and I recently bought a house and we are in the process of building a california-closet type organizational system in our bedroom walk-in-closet (on the 2nd floor). All the design samples we see have extensive shoe shelves in the closet. DH commented that it would be annoying to have to come in, take off shoes, carry the shoes upstairs to the bedroom closet. Then in the morning, pick a shoe and carry it down to put on at the front door. He'd prefer we kept all of our shoes closer to the door/garage, but we don't have enough space for that. I guess we can keep the shoes we wear frequently downstairs and the others up in the closet. We live on the NE, so it's very cold and snowy in the winters, hence I have tons of boots. I am not sure what to do with them in the summer. Because we sludge through snow and big city dirt all winter, it seems kind of gross to put them in the bedroom closet during the summer.

What do you all do?

 

[zoebartlett]

Neither one of us wear shoes in our house unless we're heading out somewhere, but we don't ask people to take theirs off when they come over. If they want to, that's okay, but not necessary. It's not a cultural thing for us -- it's just about comfort. When we go to other people's houses, we usually ask if they'd like us to take our shoes off though.

 

[zhuzhu]

I always ask if the host(ess) wants me to remove my shoes. In the winter time, almost EVERYONE does if you're coming into person's home.

zhu, since you asked what you should say, I'd kinda go along these lines:
Guest: "Oh, I see everyone's shoes out here. Should I remove them?"
Host: "If you don't mind, that'd be great."

I have been to somes parties where I was asked to remove my shoes and others where I was told "You don't have to remove your shoes," and haven't thought anything of it. I can see it both ways.

Thank you lliang. Yes for those who asked me about it that is what we said in response. The tricky ones are like my MIL. They did not ask about shoes or offer to remove shoes, just walked straight in!!! What should I say to them next time before they enter into our carpeted living room with their shoes?

 

[MonkeyPie]

This is interesting. My DH and I were raised in the same area, and he comes in and takes off his shoes ASAP, while I leave mine on. I hate being barefoot. Plus my feet get cold easily. If anything, I switch to slippers right away. DH just goes around in socks all the time.

And then he wonders why his socks are all gray Except for right after I sweep and mop, the floor collects dust!

 

[zoebartlett]

My parents are the same way as my husband and me. No one wears shoes. When my husband and I go to their house, the first thing I do is take my shoes off. I can't imagine keeping them on -- that would seem so formal to me. My husband's parents ALWAYS keep their shoes on though and they don't go out much. It's funny to me.

 

[Jennifer W]

I would take my cues from the person whose house I was visiting, or just ask if it wasn't clear. At home, I'd prefer if people kept their shoes on. Particularly if they don't have socks on. I find feet a little bit gross at the best of times.

 

[Ninna]

Do you require that people take their shoes off when they enter your house? Would you find it rude if they didn't?
Or are there any other cultural differences that you've encountered through travels/moves/etc.?

NO. NO, they are temporary guests.
Canadians, Bulgarians, Indonesian, Swedish, are quite similar.... Greeks may have a special bond with their shoes

Growing up, it was a general rule not wear outside shoes inside. Now, I view it as a wonderful way of leaving the outside 'world' in the garage.  
We all wear slippers in winter/indoor flip flops in summer.  
I'm quite flexible when it comes to entertaining...I don't get peeved when guests visit and don't take their shoes off [nor do I request that our guests do] many though-- take the hint when they see several pairs of shoes at the foyer. Piles of shoes/grass---- It doesn't really matter, I'll be cleaning next morning if not, right after they leave. 

If we go to someone's house a]I generally ask the host if I should take my shoes off if there's no shoe pile. b] If I'm already familiar with a particular home's rule I don't bother asking [never go barefoot either], just dig up my Dr.Scholl's Fast Flats from my purse lol

 

[zoebartlett]

Eleguin -- We usually just keep our shoes by the front door. When we're straightening up though, we put them on a 2 shelf thingie we keep in our hall closet. Apparently it's time to clean because I just checked, and there are 4 pairs of shoes by the door. All mine.

I should get a pair of comfy slippers to wear around the house because my socks get misshapen so easily. The only problem is that slippers are too much like shoes to me.

 

[bee*]

We wear our shoes in the house and I've never been to a house where we were expected to take off our shoes. I wouldn't have any problems if I had to when I visited somewhere.

 

[chemgirl]

For those of you who remove your shoes before entering the house, where do you put your shoes? DH and I recently bought a house and we are in the process of building a california-closet type organizational system in our bedroom walk-in-closet (on the 2nd floor). All the design samples we see have extensive shoe shelves in the closet. DH commented that it would be annoying to have to come in, take off shoes, carry the shoes upstairs to the bedroom closet. Then in the morning, pick a shoe and carry it down to put on at the front door. He'd prefer we kept all of our shoes closer to the door/garage, but we don't have enough space for that. I guess we can keep the shoes we wear frequently downstairs and the others up in the closet. We live on the NE, so it's very cold and snowy in the winters, hence I have tons of boots. I am not sure what to do with them in the summer. Because we sludge through snow and big city dirt all winter, it seems kind of gross to put them in the bedroom closet during the summer.

What do you all do?

I have a rubber boot tray that I keep in the hall closet over the summer. I keep my boots in there. The floor of that particular closet is tiled so it doesn't feel gross to keep them there.

 

[Arkteia]

When I was in my 20-es and lived in my parents' house (cultural but had to do with apartment crisis in my country at that time) I would always ask guests to take off their shoes and offer them flip-flops. My parents agreed, but once I asked a friend who came in wearing a military uniform do it (he was a pilot) mother came in, looked at it and said it was totally inappropriate.

Now, having my own house, with hardwood floors, I insist that the guests keep their shoes on. You invite guests to make them feel comfortable, not to keep your floors clean. If someone brings in own shoes to put on, it is fine. But I will not offer people flip-flops to keep my floors clean.

 

[star sparkle]

Neither one of us wear shoes in our house unless we're heading out somewhere, but we don't ask people to take theirs off when they come over. If they want to, that's okay, but not necessary. It's not a cultural thing for us -- it's just about comfort. When we go to other people's houses, we usually ask if they'd like us to take our shoes off though.

This.

I usually don't wear shoes in the house, but that's only because I'm more comfortable barefoot. I also change out of my day/work clothes and into loungewear pretty much immediately upon getting home, but that's also for comfort. It's much more comfortable for me to be curled up on my couch in PJ-type pants than it is jeans or my work clothes.