Cultural differences

[anchor31]

To those who are uncomfortable going shoeless in someone else's home (fell too familiar, uncomfortable, health reasons, etc.), do you think it would be a reasonable compromise to bring "indoor shoes" somewhere where the hosts are more comfortable with not having people walk all over their home in outdoor shoes? The discomfort is definitely a valid concern and I do care about the comfort of my guests, and personally my problem is not with the shoes themselves, so I think that could be reasonable.

 

[Hera]

To those who are uncomfortable going shoeless in someone else's home (fell too familiar, uncomfortable, health reasons, etc.), do you think it would be a reasonable compromise to bring "indoor shoes" somewhere where the hosts are more comfortable with not having people walk all over their home in outdoor shoes? The discomfort is definitely a valid concern and I do care about the comfort of my guests, and personally my problem is not with the shoes themselves, so I think that could be reasonable.

Not sure I fully understand your question, but I wouldn't make it a habit to go over to someone's house that was that finicky about their carpet. For me, life is about living, it isn't about guests getting rugs dirty etc. I just want to have a good time and I think if someone wants to be a gracious host, they should be respectful of their guests wishes. They make cheap steam cleaning machines now.

 

[mayerling]

This thread has been really interesting.

Something else I just remembered:
In my culture, it is ok (actually sometimes it's even polite) to leave some food on your plate when you're at somebody's house for a meal. FI is American and has been taught to clean his plate. So FI comes over to visit my family, they see how he finished his plate, their first reaction is "He must still be hungry!". That, coupled with their compulsion to feed people all the time, means they offer him more. He feels it would be rude to say no, so he takes it; and once again finishes his plate. Of course, they offer more and this ends up being a vicious cycle. Result: every time FI visits he gains 10 pounds!

 

[TravelingGal]

Some people who wears shoes are cleaner than others, I bet. I remembered I had a thread on here with pics of our carpet when we moved in. The previous inhabitants wore shoes in the house. There is a pic on this thread of my kid's feet after walking on the carpet for 15 minutes. It was DISGUSTING.

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/any-experiences-with-chem-dry.125748/?hilit=chem']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/any-experiences-with-chem-dry.125748/?hilit=chem[/URL] dry

 

[mayerling]

More cultural differences about eating:

In Europe people tend to use both the fork and the knife when eating (knife in the right hand, fork in the left), so I found it strange when I visited the US and saw people only using their forks and holding them with the right hand. I was more surprised when I saw people move the fork to the left hand, pick up the knife with the right, cut their food, and then switch the fork back to the right hand to eat. Since then, I always notice this when watching US things on TV. I don't know how I never noticed it before.

 

[TravelingGal]

More cultural differences about eating:

In Europe people tend to use both the fork and the knife when eating (knife in the right hand, fork in the left), so I found it strange when I visited the US and saw people only using their forks and holding them with the right hand. I was more surprised when I saw people move the fork to the left hand, pick up the knife with the right, cut their food, and then switch the fork back to the right hand to eat. Since then, I always notice this when watching US things on TV. I don't know how I never noticed it before.

TGuy is Australian and does it the continental way, which is the way we'll teach Amelia. I always did American until going to Australia (before I met TGuy) and thought I should try it. Now I mostly use continental.

However, the "American" way of eating, I believe is the older method of knife and fork. I think the continental way is much more efficient. People do say the continental way is more "elegant" but sometimes I disagree...since continental eaters tend not to put down their utensils as much, I see a lot of them waving their utensils around and talking!

ETA, a blog post on it. http://betteretiquette.blogspot.com/2009/10/continental-vs-american-dining-style.html

 

[mayerling]

More cultural differences about eating:

In Europe people tend to use both the fork and the knife when eating (knife in the right hand, fork in the left), so I found it strange when I visited the US and saw people only using their forks and holding them with the right hand. I was more surprised when I saw people move the fork to the left hand, pick up the knife with the right, cut their food, and then switch the fork back to the right hand to eat. Since then, I always notice this when watching US things on TV. I don't know how I never noticed it before.

TGuy is Australian and does it the continental way, which is the way we'll teach Amelia. I always did American until going to Australia (before I met TGuy) and thought I should try it. Now I mostly use continental.

However, the "American" way of eating, I believe is the older method of knife and fork. I think the continental way is much more efficient. People do say the continental way is more "elegant" but sometimes I disagree...since continental eaters tend not to put down their utensils as much, I see a lot of them waving their utensils around and talking!

ETA, a blog post on it. http://betteretiquette.blogspot.com/2009/10/continental-vs-american-dining-style.html

True. Funny how there aren't any fork stabbings

 

[Natylad]

More cultural differences about eating:

In Europe people tend to use both the fork and the knife when eating (knife in the right hand, fork in the left), so I found it strange when I visited the US and saw people only using their forks and holding them with the right hand. I was more surprised when I saw people move the fork to the left hand, pick up the knife with the right, cut their food, and then switch the fork back to the right hand to eat. Since then, I always notice this when watching US things on TV. I don't know how I never noticed it before.

Seriously Mayerling...are you by any chance greek? Because you seem totally greek to me!

 

[mayerling]

More cultural differences about eating:

In Europe people tend to use both the fork and the knife when eating (knife in the right hand, fork in the left), so I found it strange when I visited the US and saw people only using their forks and holding them with the right hand. I was more surprised when I saw people move the fork to the left hand, pick up the knife with the right, cut their food, and then switch the fork back to the right hand to eat. Since then, I always notice this when watching US things on TV. I don't know how I never noticed it before.

Seriously Mayerling...are you by any chance greek? Because you seem totally greek to me!

Yeah. I thought you knew that. Didn't we threadjack somebody's topic on French PSers once and tried to write in Greek (and the text came out all wrong)?

 

[MakingTheGrade]

For those of you who allow shoes in the house, do you ever make age-related exceptions?
What do you do if you have an acquaintance who is just very oblivious about tracking mud and snow into the house?

I ask because here in PA, it is snowing up a storm! And my DH's poker buddies are guys in their early 20s who have very peripheral awareness of the word "clean". There is a mat outside the door, which is pointed out, but vastly ignored. So we ask them to remove their shoes (as is the habit in our house anyways), but I can't really come up with an alternative other than not letting them play cards at our house anymore, lol. I feel like asking them to take off their shoes would make them less uncomfortable than haranguing them at the doorway to make sure they've actually cleaned their shoes well enough before coming inside.

And I'm not a particular OCD person, but they have in the past literally left clumps of muddy snow around the living room...which I then proceed to step into barefoot. Really not pleasant.

And yes, my parents wash my dog's feet every time they come back from a walk.

 

[Natylad]

More cultural differences about eating:

In Europe people tend to use both the fork and the knife when eating (knife in the right hand, fork in the left), so I found it strange when I visited the US and saw people only using their forks and holding them with the right hand. I was more surprised when I saw people move the fork to the left hand, pick up the knife with the right, cut their food, and then switch the fork back to the right hand to eat. Since then, I always notice this when watching US things on TV. I don't know how I never noticed it before.

Seriously Mayerling...are you by any chance greek? Because you seem totally greek to me!

Yeah. I thought you knew that. Didn't we threadjack somebody's topic on French PSers once and tried to write in Greek (and the text came out all wrong)?

OMG! Yes! I had totally forgotten that one!

 

[mayerling]

OMG! Yes! I had totally forgotten that one! [/quote]

Does your husband feel like he gains 10 pounds every time he visits your family or do the Lebanese force-feed people (like Greeks do) anyway?

 

[Natylad]

OMG! Yes! I had totally forgotten that one!

Does your husband feel like he gains 10 pounds every time he visits your family or do the Lebanese force-feed people (like Greeks do) anyway?[/quote]

Lebanese and greek people have soooo much in common and food is one of those common things! The Lebanese are force-feeding other people in the exact same way that the Greeks do! So my poor husband can't find a moment's peace either in Greece or in Lebanon The only time that he was in control of his diet and weight was when he was in Canada, away from all the crazy greek and lebanese relatives
And another enervating common thing, is the fact that if you politely deny to eat they feel offended. So you HAVE to eat until you explode, in order to keep them happy
Right before Christmas, while we were expecting my husband to come from Canada, i called mom to talk and she said: "Hung up, i'm baking melomakarona (Honey cookies...for those who don't speak greek!) and kourambiedes (angel dust cookies) for your husband!!! Alright, i thought, that's nice and according to our christmas customs...Hmm...the next day i visited her and i saw MOUNTAINS of cookies in the kitchen I told her: "WHAT DID YOU DO???WHO'S GOING TO EAT ALL THAT???" Well...guess who was forced to eat all that and is still dieting and jogging two hours per day in order to lose the weight that he gained during christmas in Greece
Yup! DH !

 

[partgypsy]

That's hilarious! When I was little I got into some uncomfortable situations, because I was told to finish my plate (my mom) but then when I went to visit Greek relatives, they keep feeding you until you explode.
To be polite I would eat all the food on my plate. they would then offer more food, and really not take no for an answer. So I would eat the food on my plate, politely decline more food which they then ignored, repeat.
I finally learned cues from my Dad, taste a little of everything, make a big show of how good everything is, but you can't eat another bite, etc.

One time before visitng relatives who were notorious for this my Dad to short circuit this told them ahead of time that we going to eat ahead of time. So when we did come by, there was a complete tea service, a complete coffee service set, plates of 3 different kinds of homemade cookies (I love melomakarona!), slices of cake, and fruit!!!

I mean it was nice but I felt so bad that they couldn't tone it down since we were just stopping by.

I never had to pretend to enjoy the food. Homemade Greek food is the best! And when my parents came back from visiting Greece for a month even my Dad had a pot belly.

 

[kenny]

When I was little I got into some uncomfortable situations, because I was told to finish my plate (my mom) but then when I went to visit Greek relatives, they keep feeding you until you explode.

This can actually happen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXH_12QWWg8

 

[princesss]

Oooooh, you guys should check out the old HSBC commercials - not sure where to find them, but they're all about cultural differences. (HSBC's slogan is "The world's local bank" so all of their ads are about understanding cultural differences/highlighting them.) There's a great one about a Brit on a business trip in China covering the whole finish/don't finish the food on your plate. Sooooo funny!

ETA: Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_WAmt3cMdk

 

[mayerling]

That's hilarious! W
One time before visitng relatives who were notorious for this my Dad to short circuit this told them ahead of time that we going to eat ahead of time. So when we did come by, there was a complete tea service, a complete coffee service set, plates of 3 different kinds of homemade cookies (I love melomakarona!), slices of cake, and fruit!!!

I mean it was nice but I felt so bad that they couldn't tone it down since we were just stopping by.

Yeah, it generally doesn't matter what time you're coming by or what you're coming by for, you're still getting fed.

 

[mayerling]

Oooooh, you guys should check out the old HSBC commercials - not sure where to find them, but they're all about cultural differences. (HSBC's slogan is "The world's local bank" so all of their ads are about understanding cultural differences/highlighting them.) There's a great one about a Brit on a business trip in China covering the whole finish/don't finish the food on your plate. Sooooo funny!

ETA: Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_WAmt3cMdk

I remember that one! It's where they keep feeding him eels! Hilarious!!!

 

[soocool]

For those of you who allow shoes in the house, do you ever make age-related exceptions?
What do you do if you have an acquaintance who is just very oblivious about tracking mud and snow into the house?

I ask because here in PA, it is snowing up a storm! And my DH's poker buddies are guys in their early 20s who have very peripheral awareness of the word "clean". There is a mat outside the door, which is pointed out, but vastly ignored. So we ask them to remove their shoes (as is the habit in our house anyways), but I can't really come up with an alternative other than not letting them play cards at our house anymore, lol. I feel like asking them to take off their shoes would make them less uncomfortable than haranguing them at the doorway to make sure they've actually cleaned their shoes well enough before coming inside.

And I'm not a particular OCD person, but they have in the past literally left clumps of muddy snow around the living room...which I then proceed to step into barefoot. Really not pleasant.

And yes, my parents wash my dog's feet every time they come back from a walk.

In the winter months when it is snowing/snow on the ground or other times when it rains, I place a huge mat in the front hall up against the entry door. Like one of these: http://www.llbean.com/llb/search?storeId=1&catalogId=1&langId=-1&init=1&freeText=mat&Go They can wipe their shoes on this mat and leave their wet shoes/boots here. Many of my friends do the same or because we know each other so well we come in through the garage (my preferred method because then I don't get wet when it rains. park car in driveway and run into garage).

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Hehe, it's not so much that they can't wipe their feet anywhere, we have mats too. I actually just think it's their shoes (they mostly all wear boots in the snow, lots of grooves and stuff), because they have to tromp up 4 flights of stairs to get to our apt in the city, you would think that would do a good job of getting them to have clean shoes by the time they come in. But nope, mud puddles still abound.

Sigh.

Haha, Chinese cultural differences are plentiful. I would say most of them have to do with being overly polite. Hosts are always in a state of "what can I do for you?" while guests are perpetually saying "how can I help you?" It's a vicious and confusing loop.