Cultural differences

[mayerling]

Do you require that people take their shoes off when they enter your house? Would you find it rude if they didn't?

I come from a culture where you don't take your shoes off when you visit somebody else's house; in fact, the only time you might walk around barefoot is in your own house. It's just not done; it's not done to the point where it doesn't even cross people's minds to do so when visiting other people's homes. So when I first moved to the UK and was found in the company of people whose cultures do dictate taking your shoes off when visiting, I was completely taken aback. I knew they would consider me rude if I didn't, but at the same time I thought myself rude for doing so. It just seemed like I was being overly familiar by walking around their house barefoot.

FI comes from the US and in his house people do walk around barefoot most of the time but not exclusively. They've never asked me to do so (though I do try to just use slippers in the house and not shoes used when walking outside), but I don't know whether it's because they don't really care or they're trying to keep me from feeling uncomfortable. I do know that I don't like walking into a home and seeing a pile of shoes in the hallway, though, so I've told FI that if he wants to walk around our house barefoot (which is fine; I do that too), he needs to put his shoes away and not leave them in the hallway to be the first thing you see when you walk in the house.

How about you? What does your culture dictate with respect to shoes in the house? Or are there any other cultural differences that you've encountered through travels/moves/etc.?

 

[soocool]

My immediate and extended family always take their shoes off when they come over. Even my friends take their shoes off and we do the same when we visit. For us it is not a cultural thing, just a sanitary thing to do.

Can you imagine what you are tracking into your house or someone else's if you don't remove your shoes? For workmen entering our home I will put down carboard or a tarp for themto walk on, but many times these workers put booties on. For others, I always ask for them to take their shoes off (I also don't want high heels on my hardwood floors)- I have a basket of slipper socks next to the door just in case. I even clean my dog's paws each time he enters the house.

 

[JewelFreak]

Having spent a great deal of time in Japan, where they universally remove their shoes in the house, I can't imagine insisting on keeping them on if your host requests you not to. In houses, temples, and some offices & restaurants, people do not wear their shoes. Indoor slippers are always provided -- that does creep me out a little, wearing slippers of whose former residents I have no knowledge, lol. Have seen some westerners carry their own pair & whip 'em out of their briefcases but I don't know if this is offensive, like bringing your own silverware to someone's house for dinner.

Very occasionally I've been to homes in the U.S. where the owners don't allow shoes in order to keep carpets or floors all clean & shiny -- that's not my cup of tea. Kind of overdoing it --- clean your rugs once in a while or use flooring that won't damage so easily. However, it's their house & I'd think it the height of rudeness to insist on clomping around in shoes if the host asks me not to. (Might not go back real soon, though!)

--- Laurie

 

[mayerling]

My immediate and extended family always take their shoes off when they come over. Even my friends take their shoes off and we do the same when we visit. For us it is not a cultural thing, just a sanitary thing to do.

Can you imagine what you are tracking into your house or someone else's if you don't remove your shoes? For workmen entering our home I will put down carboard or a tarp for themto walk on, but many times these workers put booties on. For others, I always ask for them to take their shoes off (I also don't want high heels on my hardwood floors)- I have a basket of slipper socks next to the door just in case. I even clean my dog's paws each time he enters the house.

That's interesting soocool. What do you do with the shoes after they've been taken off, put them away or leave in the hallway?

 

[mayerling]

I should probably clarify that I do take my shoes off when asked to. I just think myself kind of overly familiar by doing so.

 

[ksinger]

Having spent a great deal of time in Japan, where they universally remove their shoes in the house, I can't imagine insisting on keeping them on if your host requests you not to. In houses, temples, and some offices & restaurants, people do not wear their shoes. Indoor slippers are always provided -- that does creep me out a little, wearing slippers of whose former residents I have no knowledge, lol. Have seen some westerners carry their own pair & whip 'em out of their briefcases but I don't know if this is offensive, like bringing your own silverware to someone's house for dinner.

Very occasionally I've been to homes in the U.S. where the owners don't allow shoes in order to keep carpets or floors all clean & shiny -- that's not my cup of tea. Kind of overdoing it --- clean your rugs once in a while or use flooring that won't damage so easily. However, it's their house & I'd think it the height of rudeness to insist on clomping around in shoes if the host asks me not to. (Might not go back real soon, though!)--- Laurie

Ditto to that. I don't walk around much in my OWN home without shoes. The reasons are two-fold. One, my house is small, and the chance of stubbed toes is great. The other is that my feet are pretty messed up. I almost CAN'T walk without shoes. I have custom orthotics for my tennies, and a pair of houseshoes with a stable sole and just a hint of an arch in them. It makes all the difference. So barefooted or slippered with something that only pretends to be a "shoe" ain't for me.

 

[JewelFreak]

Sooocool, apologies -- my reply wasn't aimed at you. We wrote at the same time!

 

[soocool]

My immediate and extended family always take their shoes off when they come over. Even my friends take their shoes off and we do the same when we visit. For us it is not a cultural thing, just a sanitary thing to do.

Can you imagine what you are tracking into your house or someone else's if you don't remove your shoes? For workmen entering our home I will put down carboard or a tarp for themto walk on, but many times these workers put booties on. For others, I always ask for them to take their shoes off (I also don't want high heels on my hardwood floors)- I have a basket of slipper socks next to the door just in case. I even clean my dog's paws each time he enters the house.

That's interesting soocool. What do you do with the shoes after they've been taken off, put them away or leave in the hallway?

Our shoes are in our separate cubbies in our mudroom (we -DH,DD, and I- don't use the front door). For guest the shoes go in the hall closet. At friends' homes, usually leave in the front hall or in the vestibule (if they have one). In the summer we leave them on the deck/patio before entering the house. My friends bring their own slippers/socks or walk aroung barefoot.

 

[soocool]

Sooocool, apologies -- my reply wasn't aimed at you. We wrote at the same time!

I know!

 

[soocool]

I should define what I mean about what shoes can track into the house. I wasn't thinking specifically of germs from fecal matter (bird droppings, doggy poop)etc., but was thinking about fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, etc. that could later end up on our hands then in our mouth, eyes, etc.

We live in an area where almost everyone has a lawn service or a pesticide service and these chemicals are all over lawns. You walk on the lawn and then enter the house and spread these chemicals all over the house. I know lots of people who will not drink their well water or filter it first before drinking for fear of contaminants,yet they don't remove shoes in their own homes.

 

[princesss]

Shoes off, all the time, every time. I do not walk around my house in shoes, and I'm very uncomfortable walking around other people's houses in shoes. I will if that's what they're doing, but it feels weird.

(Btw, I grew up in the US and Southeast Asia, if that makes a difference.)

 

[Trekkie]

I take my shoes off when asked to, but it does feel weird doing it in someone else's house!

I'm used to doing it here in South Africa, but it was a huge surprise when my Bosnian-Australian friend asked me to remove my shoes when entering her home. I did it of course, but I didn't like that the shoes were just left in the hallway for anyone to see. Very untidy, imo.

In my own home people are welcome to keep their shoes on, but I usually take mine off. I generally walk around in bare feet or in socks. My FI wears slippers - I call them an early warning device because I can always tell exactly where he is in the house, I just listen out for the shwish-shwish!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I will always take my shoes off when walking into someones home...just my nature. However, I never require anyone to do so in my home. I just want people to be comfortable...shoes on or off, makes no difference to me.

 

[mayerling]

I take my shoes off when asked to, but it does feel weird doing it in someone else's house!

I'm used to doing it here in South Africa, but it was a huge surprise when my Bosnian-Australian friend asked me to remove my shoes when entering her home. I did it of course, but I didn't like that the shoes were just left in the hallway for anyone to see. Very untidy, imo.

In my own home people are welcome to keep their shoes on, but I usually take mine off. I generally walk around in bare feet or in socks. My FI wears slippers - I call them an early warning device because I can always tell exactly where he is in the house, I just listen out for the shwish-shwish!

That's exactly how I see it.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Never really thought about it until now. I would hate to have to take my shoes off in front of other people. Mainly because all my socks are the same color so I don't pay attention to matching them They're hidden by my jeans and shoes 99% of the time anyway In our new house I wear socks most of the time since all hardwood/tile gets very cold in the winter!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

DH and I are shoes off people as are both are families even though his is American and mine is Chinese, lol.

Even when Dh was throwing big house parties in college, people took their shoes off! In my opinion, that's probably wise since an apt full of drunkenly college kids leads to a lot of stepping on toes and falling down as it is..

We do ask guests to remove their shoes, partially because many of our friends are young and we live in a big metropolitan city. As a result, everyone we know either walks or bikes in order to get to us, which means tracking through lots of icky big-city goop (and in the winter, lots of slush). We find it less untidy to have people leave their shoes by the door than to have little bits of melting snow or little clods of dirt or pebbles strewn around our floors.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I only take my shoes off when asked, or I see everyone else has, or I am familiar with the homeowner's preference. In my home I want people to be comfortable. I am not from a culture where taking shoes off is customary nor am I scared of germs/dirt. Interesting thread. I never thought it would be cultural NOT to take your shoes off. Do you mind sharing where you are from?

 

[Tuckins1]

Yes, we take our shoes off in the house. My parents don't at their house. It's not a cultural thing, as much as a cleanliness thing. I find it disgusting to walk around in your shoes in the house, with all the dirt and filth from the streets, then get into bed with dirty feet that had been on the floor. Or, to let children to crawl around on a floor that people have walked on with their shoes. I wouldn't let my baby crawl around in the street, so I prefer not to have the street funk on my floors.

 

[movie zombie]

i grew up in a household, family, community in which one wears shoes into homes.

years ago i implemented a no outside shoes in our house. and when i go to someone else's home my tendancy is to remove my shoes.

i do not want residues from parking lots, etc. tramped into my home....and i do not want to be tramping them into others' homes. i have noticed less problems with our cats as a result. meaning they no longer feel the need to mark territory because i'm not tracking in territory signs or odors that they want to mask. makes my home cleaner.

i also keep some slippers for those that want them. and one friend brings his own!

MoZo

eta: i have indoor shoes that obviously i wear indoors only. hubby is from australia and 99.9% of the time can be found barefoot even on our tile floors. he has a pair of uggs that he wears indoors only if it really is cold.

 

[lliang_chi]

In the winter I definitely take my shoes off. I hate tracking snow into the house, and I guess that's what most people do. i do not have a mudroom, live in a condo in the city, so shoes are left in a boot tray outside our front door.

In the summer most people leave their shoes on. If I have people over (e.g. a party), I usually sweep & mop before and after.

Day to day in my house I wear slippers. I actually have 3 pairs because the dog loves running off with mine.

A friend of my does a BYO-house shoes in the winter which I think I'm going to start doing. I loathe stepping into "snow puddles" and having to put wet socks in my winter boots. It's weird, yes, but everyone knows I'm weird by now.

 

[TravelingGal]

The cleanest thing is to wear house slippers. The oils from your feet can actually make the carpets dirtier.

TGuy is Australian and his entire family takes off shoes in the house. Thank goodness, because it would have been an absolute dealbreaker for me. Yup, this little tiny thing, if he had resisted would have sent me into fits, hehehe. I can't stand seeing shoes in the house. We grew up this way, all of my friends grew up this way and we simply never ever wore shoes in the house. And yes, we have quite a few shoes in the hallway, but also have a shoe cabinet where most of our shoes are stored.

I have a very multicultural group of friends now, and interestly, no one gives a second thought about taking off shoes when they enter a house. Makes houseparties a bummer if you choose to dress nice and have to take off part of your outfit.

 

[mayerling]

Yes, we take our shoes off in the house. My parents don't at their house. It's not a cultural thing, as much as a cleanliness thing. I find it disgusting to walk around in your shoes in the house, with all the dirt and filth from the streets, then get into bed with dirty feet that had been on the floor. Or, to let children to crawl around on a floor that people have walked on with their shoes. I wouldn't let my baby crawl around in the street, so I prefer not to have the street funk on my floors.

I find this confusing. You don't like dragging dirt from the streets into the house, so you prefer bare feet, but then you say that feet get dirty if they've been on the floor. I would think that if you don't want to get into bed with dirty feet, you'd rather not walk around barefoot.

 

[TravelingGal]

eta: i have indoor shoes that obviously i wear indoors only. hubby is from australia and 99.9% of the time can be found barefoot even on our tile floors. he has a pair of uggs that he wears indoors only if it really is cold.

MZ, I wonder if Aussies in general don't wear shoes in the house? I never asked. I think Canadians don't either. Which is odd because I once heard that Americans wear shoes in the house because the early Americans didn't have homes with clean flooring. You'd think Australia would have the same issue? Don't know if that's a myth though.

Anyone know why Americans, as a culture, wear shoes in the house? I think there was actually a PS thread on this long ago (I may have started it, in fact) but I can't remember for sure.

 

[mayerling]

eta: i have indoor shoes that obviously i wear indoors only. hubby is from australia and 99.9% of the time can be found barefoot even on our tile floors. he has a pair of uggs that he wears indoors only if it really is cold.

MZ, I wonder if Aussies in general don't wear shoes in the house? I never asked. I think Canadians don't either. Which is odd because I once heard that Americans wear shoes in the house because the early Americans didn't have homes with clean flooring. You'd think Australia would have the same issue? Don't know if that's a myth though.

Anyone know why Americans, as a culture, wear shoes in the house? I think there was actually a PS thread on this long ago (I may have started it, in fact) but I can't remember for sure.

Why not? I really don't see what the big deal is. It might require more cleaning (which shouldn't be much of an issue if people don't walk through mud, slush, lawns, etc. to get into the house) but it's certainly more tidy than having a ton of shoes to greet you when you walk in.

 

[TravelingGal]

eta: i have indoor shoes that obviously i wear indoors only. hubby is from australia and 99.9% of the time can be found barefoot even on our tile floors. he has a pair of uggs that he wears indoors only if it really is cold.

MZ, I wonder if Aussies in general don't wear shoes in the house? I never asked. I think Canadians don't either. Which is odd because I once heard that Americans wear shoes in the house because the early Americans didn't have homes with clean flooring. You'd think Australia would have the same issue? Don't know if that's a myth though.

Anyone know why Americans, as a culture, wear shoes in the house? I think there was actually a PS thread on this long ago (I may have started it, in fact) but I can't remember for sure.

Why not? I really don't see what the big deal is. It might require more cleaning (which shouldn't be much of an issue if people don't walk through mud, slush, lawns, etc. to get into the house, but it's certainly more tidy than having a ton of shoes to greet you when you walk in.

That would be your opinion - I think some would disagree. I'm not saying it's a big deal, but I'm wondering if there is a reason, like the one I mentioned.

 

[mayerling]

eta: i have indoor shoes that obviously i wear indoors only. hubby is from australia and 99.9% of the time can be found barefoot even on our tile floors. he has a pair of uggs that he wears indoors only if it really is cold.

MZ, I wonder if Aussies in general don't wear shoes in the house? I never asked. I think Canadians don't either. Which is odd because I once heard that Americans wear shoes in the house because the early Americans didn't have homes with clean flooring. You'd think Australia would have the same issue? Don't know if that's a myth though.

Anyone know why Americans, as a culture, wear shoes in the house? I think there was actually a PS thread on this long ago (I may have started it, in fact) but I can't remember for sure.

Why not? I really don't see what the big deal is. It might require more cleaning (which shouldn't be much of an issue if people don't walk through mud, slush, lawns, etc. to get into the house, but it's certainly more tidy than having a ton of shoes to greet you when you walk in.

That would be your opinion - I think some would disagree. I'm not saying it's a big deal, but I'm wondering if there is a reason, like the one I mentioned.

Of course. I'm not trying to imply that the way I think about it is correct. That's the whole point behind this thread. I just find it strange that those who require shoes off tend to act like that's the way to go and get very upset if people don't comply. Whereas, even though I'd rather not do it, I don't get upset when asked to.

 

[Tuckins1]

Yes, we take our shoes off in the house. My parents don't at their house. It's not a cultural thing, as much as a cleanliness thing. I find it disgusting to walk around in your shoes in the house, with all the dirt and filth from the streets, then get into bed with dirty feet that had been on the floor. Or, to let children to crawl around on a floor that people have walked on with their shoes. I wouldn't let my baby crawl around in the street, so I prefer not to have the street funk on my floors.

I find this confusing. You don't like dragging dirt from the streets into the house, so you prefer bare feet, but then you say that feet get dirty if they've been on the floor. I would think that if you don't want to get into bed with dirty feet, you'd rather not walk around barefoot.

Yeah, feet get dirty when walking in the house when PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WEARING THEIR SHOES IN IT.

And yes, I expect people to take their shoes off in my house, and do get upset if they don't. It's a respect thing. I would comply to other's requests in their homes.

 

[TravelingGal]

Of course. I'm not trying to imply that the way I think about it is correct. That's the whole point behind this thread. I just find it strange that those who require shoes off tend to act like that's the way to go and get very upset if people don't comply. Whereas, even though I'd rather not do it, I don't get upset when asked to.

I think if people don't comply with house rules, people get upset because it's rude. I'd really rather not walk into anyone's house with shoes, but I know some people get discombobulated if I were to choose to take my shoes off. Same thing.

Although to me, there is a perceived difference, because if you refuse to take your shoes off in my house, you are insisting on getting my house "dirty", whereas no shoes in your house is less so (although you could certainly argue that foot oils are worse!).

Oh, and for service people like plumbers of whatever, I don't insist they take their shoes off. I've asked them to my house to perform a service, not to be a guest.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

In my circle of friends, and more specifically MY KIDS circle of friends, shoes are ALWAYS taken off. I've never once had to ask my kids' friends to take their shoes off. It's a given.

Maybe it's just where we live or something as nobody ever enters a house around here and walks around with shoes on (and it has nothing to do with culture, just the fact of respect). The only people I know who do walk around with shoes inside our house is my Dh's family and I think it's rude and presumptious for them to think they are above such an obvious rule. Every holiday (especially around Thanksgiving) are carpet was GROSS after they visited with leaves and gunky pine needles on our carpet. Just flat out disrepectful.

 

[mayerling]

Yes, we take our shoes off in the house. My parents don't at their house. It's not a cultural thing, as much as a cleanliness thing. I find it disgusting to walk around in your shoes in the house, with all the dirt and filth from the streets, then get into bed with dirty feet that had been on the floor. Or, to let children to crawl around on a floor that people have walked on with their shoes. I wouldn't let my baby crawl around in the street, so I prefer not to have the street funk on my floors.

I find this confusing. You don't like dragging dirt from the streets into the house, so you prefer bare feet, but then you say that feet get dirty if they've been on the floor. I would think that if you don't want to get into bed with dirty feet, you'd rather not walk around barefoot.

Yeah, feet get dirty when walking in the house when PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WEARING THEIR SHOES IN IT.

And yes, I expect people to take their shoes off in my house, and do get upset if they don't. It's a respect thing. I would comply to other's requests in their homes.

I was just confused. I see your point now. There's no need to yell.