Home Crap...three kids under 4!!!

[hmr_mama]

I discovered PS a few months ago when I started thinking about my upgrade (WF is working on it as we speak!!). I frequent RT and SMTR--gathering ideas and pictures. But now I thought I would post here--hoping to get a little support.

I might have gotten pregnant around Valentine''s Day....and now I''m freaking out (the other two kids were planned...and this one(?)--well, er...no). I have a 3.5 year old daughter and a 14 month old son--and now I''m wondering how the heck I''m going to do it!! I''m a SAHM and I feel like I''m at my limit with my two kids--now I might be adding a third?!? A friend at church (who has 5 kids) told me once that, "you have enough patience and organization for one less kid than you have". I am really feeling that now. If I am pregnant--I''ll be happy (I''m the 3rd child in my family)....babies are always a blessing. Just kinda freaking out, ya know? Any advice is welcome--especially if you have experience in this department!!

 

[Porridge]

I have no experience having children, just wanted to give some support! Don''t freak out yet, you don''t know you''re pregnant for sure do you? So don''t panic until you do find out. And if you are...well yes, babies are a blessing! You''ll cope just fine, don''t worry. Do you have any help minding the children? Family nearby, or could your husband do more? Daycare for the older ones?

Three children that young will be tough, no doubt, but you won''t be the first. And for gods sake...don''t listen to some snotty comment from your friend at church! I''m sure more experienced posters here will chip in with some good advice.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 2/24/2010 6:21:44 PM
Author:hmr_mama
I discovered PS a few months ago when I started thinking about my upgrade (WF is working on it as we speak!!). I frequent RT and SMTR--gathering ideas and pictures. But now I thought I would post here--hoping to get a little support.

I might have gotten pregnant around Valentine''s Day....and now I''m freaking out (the other two kids were planned...and this one(?)--well, er...no). I have a 3.5 year old daughter and a 14 month old son--and now I''m wondering how the heck I''m going to do it!! I''m a SAHM and I feel like I''m at my limit with my two kids--now I might be adding a third?!? A friend at church (who has 5 kids) told me once that, ''you have enough patience and organization for one less kid than you have''. I am really feeling that now. If I am pregnant--I''ll be happy (I''m the 3rd child in my family)....babies are always a blessing. Just kinda freaking out, ya know? Any advice is welcome--especially if you have experience in this department!!

I don''t think this comment is snooty at all - I think this is a lighthearted way of saying it may seem like you are witts end but you CAN do it even when it feels overwhelming and it''s okay to feel that way. Just relax until you confim if you are expecting. Once you know for sure you can start to find ways to give yourself the structure you think you may need. By the time a new baby arrives, your daughter will be at an acceptable age for some pre-schools - any chance you could get her going at a pre-school program even half days a few days a week? That might help a bit.

While I personally do not have children I have watched my friends juggle one, then two and three and for one family FOUR. Yes, there are days where it is overwhelming but they all figure it out. I am willing to bet there are days where every mom and dad feel overwhelmed regardless of how many little feet are padding around.

 

[mrssalvo]

I have 3 kids. Mine were 5 and 4 when my youngest was born. I can honestly say it was much easier going from 2-3 than it was when I went from 1-2. I always joke that going from 1-2 is not addition it''s multiplication

. I won''t say it''s always easy but I think you''ll be surprised that it''s a lot easier than you are thinking right now. You''ll soon find yourself not remembering what life was like without your newest addition. I also highly recommend a preschool/Mother''s day out program for you older two if it''s possible. Having just a few hours a week of only having the baby with you to run errands or do housework etc. is a lifesaver. I''m a SAHM too and even have my baby, who will be 2 in April, in a MDO program for one day a week. It''s a mental life savor for me and my son loves going.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I can definitely see how you''d feel a little overwhelmed at the thought of three kids under four. But just remember, while "you have enough patience and organization for one less kid than you have", some also say that God doesn''t give you anything you can''t handle. If you''re pregnant then you have nine months to get used to the idea and your little ones will have nine months to grow and mature a little more. They''ll still be hand-fulls, most definitely, but hopefully they''ll be a little more self-sufficient and reliant.

 

[softly softly]

If it makes you feel any better, since you say your eldest is 3.5 now, if you are pregnant she will be 4 by the time you give birth and in my experience a 4 year old is a much calmer, more rational and easy to deal with creature than a 3 year old.

 

[purrfectpear]

ZOMG, you were almost out of the nappy changing

Well, at least you will be by the time this one pops out

 

[charbie]

don''t have kids...however coming from a family where my mom was a SAHM with 3 daughters in a span of 43 months...you''ll make it

it sounds a bit overwhelming, but i also have to say my mom said going from the 2-3 was the easiest. my older sis was interested in the baby sis by that time, and she had her routine down to a science, so she just sort of slid my younger sister in there. she said she wasn''t nearly as anal at that point about making sure everything was "perfect" as she did for both my older sister and i, and she had learned so much from having the two of us that the third was a breeze for her.

i''m honestly glad that i have my 2 sisters. i think 3 kids is a wonderful number, and is what my husband and i hope to have one day, hopefully in that same "quick" timespan. i bet you''ll find the benefits outweigh the negatives very quickly best of luck, and you''ll find tons of support here from all the PS mommies! welcome!

 

[lknvrb4]

When my 3rd baby was born my oldest was 5 (not in kindergarten yet because of deadline b-day date) and my daughter was 3. It was much easier going from 2-3 than from 1-2. I am also a SAHM who does daycare in my home as well. You make it work and you just have to learn how to adapt a third into your routine you may already have. I have a very wonderful husband who helps tremendously with everything and we found a routine that worked for us so that we did not feel like we were losing our minds.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

hmr-congratulations, and you can do it

Since your daughter will be 4 she''ll actually be at an age when you can help some and is more self-sufficient. I''m not a mom yet we''re TTC right now) but I nannied for a very long time and worked with a few families with children who were very close in age. It will work out and I think you''ll find the transition from 2-3 easier than the transition from 1-2.

 

[iluvcarats]

I don''t blame you for feeling overwhelmed. That is a lot to handle.
Here is my story.

When my kids were 2 and 5, I was unexpectedly pg. At first I had the same reaction. As soon as my son was born, I vowed never to be pg again. When I learned of #3 I was overwhelmed and not that excited. But then I put it in perspective and started to embrace the idea. Then I had a MC

I try to live my life without regrets, but sometimes I wish I had tried again. Now I am too old, and my kids would be too far apart. But when your #2goes to 1st grade or middle school, high school and college, you will be so happy that you have #3.

 

[Winks_Elf]

You''ll have more trying moments with the 14-month-old (who''ll be almost 2 by the time the baby comes) than you will with the older child when the baby comes. The then 4-year-old can actually be a big help by bringing you diapers, wipes, playing with the middle child, etc. My oldest was 20 months old when we got pregnant with #2, and #3 was 18 months old when we got pregnant with #4. There is a 4 year gap between sets of two in our home. My children are now 12, going to be 10 in May, going to be 6 in March, and going to be 4 in April. It''s been an adventure, but now that the baby is almost 4, it''s so much fun with them!

(((((BIG HUGS))))) and congratulations!

 

[Maisie]

I think that when you have more than two it doesn''t make that much difference. I have five and you could add another one or two into my family and I doubt it would cause much more than a ripple. I am hoping to adopt at some point. Can you tell I got a lotta love?

Of course you will need a good routine. I think thats the key. Once you work out what works best for you and your family you will be fine.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Will you be able to sign your oldest for preschool? Maybe ask around and see if someone knows of a center that offers reasonably priced preschool so you can have a bit of time to focus on your two younger ones. Some of my friends found a church who offers about 4 hours a week for a really great price. None of them even are members of that church. They just found one close by and not only is it nice to get a break, most of them also met moms who lived close by and had kids who would be attending the same school.

Congrats and best of luck!