Cookie Cutter Weddings?

[Haven]

Hi, ladies,

I''m curious about these cookie cutter weddings that people often refer to on PS--what does a cookie cutter wedding look like? I understand the concept, but I''m curious about what everyone thinks constitutes a cookie cutter wedding.

Thanks!

 

[misysu2]

I''d hate for this to get turned into a touchy subject!

Without any disrespect to anyone''s wedding, with no bad intentions whatsoever:

1. White ball gown with white, 4-inch strappy shoes
2. Church wedding
3. Sit down chicken dinner
4. A big white cake
5. $ dance, chicken dance, wedding party dance
6. String quartet during ceremony
7. Crystal and/or pearl jewelry
8. MOB jacket dress
9. Black tuxedos
10. Roses, roses, roses and candles, candles, candles!
11. Matching bridesmaid dresses
12. Limos

Although "cookie-cutter", these things, in my mind, are traditional, and I think that a perfect wedding is one that balances traditional aspects like this with your personality.

 

[saltymuffin]

I think the items that misysu2 outlined make a formal wedding, not a cookie cutter one. I think cookie cutter is when there is no personalisation or customisation in a wedding. And the standard everything is picked. You could have a very formal wedding with all of the items misysu2 picked that is also very personalised and not at all cookie cutter. Cookie cutter means that anyone could have "bought" that wedding, and little thought went into making the details special or unique.

 

[neatfreak]

A cookie cutter wedding in my mind is one with nothing personal about the couple in the wedding at all. Basically, a wedding in which you could literally transplant any other couple into the wedding, and they could fit right in. So no special touches, generic favors, fancy generic invites, the generic cake, generic flowers, the generic dress, dances, generic venue, etc.

I have no problem with traditions, but they need to be done while still showcasing something special about the couple.

 

[Cleopatra]

Where I live, everyone has the traditional Catholic Wedding. They can be absolutely beautiful, but the traditional style of this kind of wedding doesn''t really leave room for personalization. There is the lighting of the unity candle, praying to Mary (and of course, you sing Ave Maria during this part)....

In my mind, there is something lovely about a wedding that is this traditional....it makes it seems as though you are one in a long line of predecesors who have done the exact thing...it gives a real sense of cohesive bonding to the sanctity of marriage....

With that said....I''m not doing a Catholic wedding....against the wishes of ALL family members (believe me - they think I''m the devil now).....

I agree with the roses, candles, limos, etc of Misysu...not that there''s anything wrong with those things....just, in my mind - those are the things that scream cookie cutter to me.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I completely agreee with misysu and neatfreak. I think "cookie cutter" is synonomous with "generic". In addition to what misysu wrote, I''d add that cookie cutter weddings usually take place in a hotel ballroom or golf club with the generic flowers, dress, dancing, matching BM dresses, etc. that neatfreak listed.

 

[Haven]

Oh, dear--I didn''t even think about how this might be a touchy subject. I''m really just curious about this because I''d never heard of a "cookie-cutter wedding" before PS, and since I''m planning a wedding I thought it would be nice to know.

Thank you for all of your responses. Now I have another question--what are some of the best personal touches you''ve seen at weddings? (Or what are you planning for your own?)

Thanks again!

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/27/2007 11:32:33 AM
Author: NewEnglandLady
I completely agreee with misysu and neatfreak. I think ''cookie cutter'' is synonomous with ''generic''. In addition to what misysu wrote, I''d add that cookie cutter weddings usually take place in a hotel ballroom or golf club with the generic flowers, dress, dancing, matching BM dresses, etc. that neatfreak listed.

Ugh! The only two things I specifically said NO to were strapless dresses, (not on this body, at my age, uh-uh), and hotel ballrooms with those ugly floral patterned carpets in dayglo colors! Yeeshh!!

"Cookie cutter weddings" are impersonal; they incorporate most or all the latest trends simply because they''re trendy; they look like 5 other weddings you attended this year and last; and ultimately, they look as if someone other than the B&G was in charge of putting it together (Mom, MIL, wedding planner, hotel banquet manager, etc.).

TRENDS

Tiffany blue and brown
Pink and brown
Black and white
Pink and black
Orchid strands hanging from trees, ceilings, etc.
Pink, red, orange, or purple special lighting effects
Monograms on cake, linens, invitations, or projected onto walls or floors
Monocromatic florals
Fruit in glass vases
Wrapping chairs with fabric
Drapes and chandeliers in tents
Dessert buffets
Candy table
Unity candles replaced with sand ceremonies
Pachebel''s Canon for processional
*funky, fun* music for recessional
Strapless dresses
Black BM dresses
Brown BM dresses
Patterned or colored neckties for the men
DIY invitations
DIY favors
Special getaway cars: sportscars from yesteryear, vintage Rolls or Bentley, antique truck, etc.
Horse-drawn carriage

Don''t fret if you have used or want to use any of those ideas mentioned above; just personalize the details so the event is about YOU and the FI.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/27/2007 12:02:56 PM
Author: Haven
Oh, dear--I didn''t even think about how this might be a touchy subject. I''m really just curious about this because I''d never heard of a ''cookie-cutter wedding'' before PS, and since I''m planning a wedding I thought it would be nice to know.


Thank you for all of your responses. Now I have another question--what are some of the best personal touches you''ve seen at weddings? (Or what are you planning for your own?)


Thanks again!

Haven, I think the key to all this is that WE can''t tell you what the best personal touches were because those touches were personal for OTHER people. Just follow your heart and pick things that YOU truly love, and don''t just do things because you are "supposed to".

Think of your own ideas that aren''t in bridal magazines, add things that really MEAN something to you and your FI, and don''t do readings, dances, traditions, ONLY because you have to. Just pick the things that are really important to YOU and incorporate them.

 

[Haven]

Date: 11/27/2007 12:26:36 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 11/27/2007 12:02:56 PM
Author: Haven
Oh, dear--I didn't even think about how this might be a touchy subject. I'm really just curious about this because I'd never heard of a 'cookie-cutter wedding' before PS, and since I'm planning a wedding I thought it would be nice to know.


Thank you for all of your responses. Now I have another question--what are some of the best personal touches you've seen at weddings? (Or what are you planning for your own?)


Thanks again!

Haven, I think the key to all this is that WE can't tell you what the best personal touches were because those touches were personal for OTHER people. Just follow your heart and pick things that YOU truly love, and don't just do things because you are 'supposed to'.

Think of your own ideas that aren't in bridal magazines, add things that really MEAN something to you and your FI, and don't do readings, dances, traditions, ONLY because you have to. Just pick the things that are really important to YOU and incorporate them.

OH, no no no no no--don't misunderstand, I'm not looking for help figuring out what to do for MY wedding, I have all that covered. I'm really just interested in hearing about what you've seen at other weddings because, well, I'm interested! I think the whole mix of tradition and personal flair is just plain interesting, and I love to hear about it.

And when I originally posted this thread it was because I just couldn't fathom what a cookie cutter wedding would look like, because I've never been to a wedding that DIDN'T reflect the couple. That's all. I've honestly never heard anyone call another person's wedding "cookie cutter" outside of PS, so I was intrigued.

ETA: I suppose I should play my own game. My favorite personal touch was at my best friend's wedding. She had recently fallen in love with a particular song on the radio, so once she was engaged she figured she'd contact the artist and see if there was any way he could play the song during their ceremony. Of course I thought this was crazy--contact a rising star of a musician and ask him to play your wedding? Well, it just so happened that this artist is from Chicago and he was going to be in town the weekend of her wedding so he agreed! He came to the wedding with two of his band members, and they played the song and he sang the lyrics during the processional. It was really very touching, especially for everyone who knew how much she loved that song.

 

[misysu2]

Haven,

I just attended my cousin''s wedding in October and it was a traditional family wedding. They all seem to be the same. Traditional short service at church then country reception at the fairgrounds.

One special thing to us, though, is that we have our Grandfather sing at weddings. He''s starting to get older and very choked up at things like this, but it''s so special to have him there giving us such a special gift! I hope to have him sing at my reception- I just want him to pick a different song!

Also, this doesn''t seem like the average PS taste, but my cousin''s wedding favors were can coolers with "Bride and Groom Oct 6, 2007" and "To have and to hold and keep your beer cold" written on them. All in their coordinating wedding colors, of course! Just stuck in my mind. I''d never give favors like that, but it fit them perfectly.

 

[E B]

Date: 11/27/2007 12:02:56 PM
Author: Haven

Thank you for all of your responses. Now I have another question--what are some of the best personal touches you've seen at weddings? (Or what are you planning for your own?)

At my wedding, we had each of our parents contribute to the ceremony. DH's dad was the minister (Universal Life Church, I think?), his mom read the opening reading, my dad read a later reading, and my mom sang "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. I had so many guests comment on how personal and special a touch they thought it was.

At my cousin's wedding in April, the wedding favors were little cookies in the shape of a paw print, with a note attached that read the couple had donated $__ to an animal charity. They're both huge dog lovers, and it was so them. I loved it!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Here''s some helpful info on the cookie cutter/personalizing your wedding subject from last year:

Unique, personal wedding thread:
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/unique-personal-weddings.42374/
Cookie cutter wedding thread:
https://www.pricescope.com/forum/bride-world-wide-grooms-grooves/cookie-cutter-weddings-t42352.html

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Here are a few of the unique things we are doing:
My wedding dress is going to be mostly green
My maid of honor is a man
We will probably have an Irish band to walk down the isle to
NO religion (My family is catholic, he is an aithiest and I am a dianist)
Otherwise it is fairly traditional

 

[basil]

There's a fine line between being cookie-cutter and being traditional. And there's a fine line between doing something personal and doing something different just to be different.

Do what you like and who cares. Most people probably won't notice the details all that much. The majority of your guests won't surf the knot and won't realize that everyone else is going a candy buffet too or that a bunch of other people wore Maggie Sottero. But if you're more Sex Pistols than Canon in D, then go for it! But just cause everyone uses Canon in D doesn't mean it's an unoriginal, cookie-cutter choice - things are popular for a reason.

And maybe the Sex Pistols don't make good wedding music for a reason, too

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/27/2007 12:38:42 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 11/27/2007 12:26:36 PM

Author: neatfreak

Date: 11/27/2007 12:02:56 PM

Author: Haven

Oh, dear--I didn't even think about how this might be a touchy subject. I'm really just curious about this because I'd never heard of a 'cookie-cutter wedding' before PS, and since I'm planning a wedding I thought it would be nice to know.



Thank you for all of your responses. Now I have another question--what are some of the best personal touches you've seen at weddings? (Or what are you planning for your own?)



Thanks again!

Haven, I think the key to all this is that WE can't tell you what the best personal touches were because those touches were personal for OTHER people. Just follow your heart and pick things that YOU truly love, and don't just do things because you are 'supposed to'.


Think of your own ideas that aren't in bridal magazines, add things that really MEAN something to you and your FI, and don't do readings, dances, traditions, ONLY because you have to. Just pick the things that are really important to YOU and incorporate them.

OH, no no no no no--don't misunderstand, I'm not looking for help figuring out what to do for MY wedding, I have all that covered. I'm really just interested in hearing about what you've seen at other weddings because, well, I'm interested! I think the whole mix of tradition and personal flair is just plain interesting, and I love to hear about it.


And when I originally posted this thread it was because I just couldn't fathom what a cookie cutter wedding would look like, because I've never been to a wedding that DIDN'T reflect the couple. That's all. I've honestly never heard anyone call another person's wedding 'cookie cutter' outside of PS, so I was intrigued.


ETA: I suppose I should play my own game. My favorite personal touch was at my best friend's wedding. She had recently fallen in love with a particular song on the radio, so once she was engaged she figured she'd contact the artist and see if there was any way he could play the song during their ceremony. Of course I thought this was crazy--contact a rising star of a musician and ask him to play your wedding? Well, it just so happened that this artist is from Chicago and he was going to be in town the weekend of her wedding so he agreed! He came to the wedding with two of his band members, and they played the song and he sang the lyrics during the processional. It was really very touching, especially for everyone who knew how much she loved that song.

Ahhhh sorry for misunderstanding Haven! Since you said initially that you wanted to know because of your own wedding, I thought you were looking for advice! Unfortunately, almost all the weddings I have been to recently have been pretty cookie cutter. Things we did at our wedding that were special to us and made the day about us:

1. Walked down the aisle to Into the Mystic by Van Morrison
2. Had my DH's best friend marry us.
3. Our reading was from the Velveteen Rabbit as that was DH's favorite book as a kid.
4. Both my parents walked me down the aisle because they are both important to me.
5. We had everyone at the wedding sign our marriage certificate so we have something to hang on our wall with EVERYONE involved.
6. We had a lunch reception with great food and no big arrangements, no garter, etc. We just chose this because FOOD was most important to us and many of the wedding traditions were meaningless to us, so we didn't do them.
7. I am OBSESSED with cupcakes, so we had a cupcake cake.
8. In lieu of favors we donated $ to the rescue group that helped us get both of our dogs, since we are major dog people.

So I think the key is just to make it about you and your fi, and that is what makes it special. I just hate weddings that are very traditional if the couple is not, and meaningless things that the B&G do just because they think they should and not because they want to!


ETA: An idea my best friend had that I think is great is that they want to have a karaoke machine at the wedding since they met at karaoke. I think it's adorable, and very "them", even if it is a bit odd!

 

[Miscka]

Date: 11/27/2007 1:44:51 PM
Author: basil
There's a fine line between being cookie-cutter and being traditional. And there's a fine line between doing something personal and doing something different just to be different.

Do what you like and who cares. Most people probably won't notice the details all that much. The majority of your guests won't surf the knot and won't realize that everyone else is going a candy buffet too or that a bunch of other people wore Maggie Sottero. But if you're more Sex Pistols than Canon in D, then go for it! But just cause everyone uses Canon in D doesn't mean it's an unoriginal, cookie-cutter choice - things are popular for a reason.

And maybe the Sex Pistols don't make good wedding music for a reason, too

Very well put. I am not a BIW but this thread kind of stressed me out. I plan on choosing what I want in my wedding because I want it, not because it is trendy, and not because it is NOT trendy. When it is my turn that is

ETA neatfreak I LOVE Van Morrison, and have always thought of Moondance for my first dance song

 

[sumbride]

I think a cookie-cutter wedding happens when people don''t really think about what THEY want and are trying too hard to "do it right". If the mom does most of the planning, or a wedding planner for that matter, there''s a chance that it won''t reflect the couple and then you have a generic boring cookie-cutter wedding.

I honestly don''t know that I''ve been to a rote cookie-cutter wedding... sure, I''ve seen elements that drove me crazy, like my friend''s reception that I swear was "wedding cd vol. 1" including the chicken dance, YMCA, celebration, hokey pokey and we are family, ALL IN A ROW. It was a bit much. But at that same wedding, we were delighted to note that the bride and groom served ice cream with their cake because the BRIDE LOVES ICE CREAM. It was awesome and special. It also kind of helped me overlook their entrance song being Def Leppard''s "Pour some sugar on me" which was, um, slightly inappropriate.

When we planned our wedding, we decided to make it very "us". Even though it was a fancy country club shindig for hundreds, we had it outside instead of in a church. We used secular music WITH LYRICS for all our processional/recessionals. We had non-matching bridesmaid dresses and multiple flower girls. We served punch to all the guests before they were seated for the wedding. We exited the ceremony in a golf cart. Our first dance was to an REM song because that''s why we met. We didn''t do a garter or bouquet toss because it wasn''t "us". We stayed until the end! And we had a blast. THAT is what makes a wedding personal. It''s not about color schemes or gimmicks, it''s about genuine honest FEELING and people can tell if it reflects the couple. And they like it when it does.

As long as you put thought into WHY you''re doing something it won''t be cookie cutter.

 

[Pandora II]

I don''t think it''s anyone of those things individually - it''s when you have ALL of them and nothing about you. My sister for example was given a list of songs and just picked 2 without ever having heard them. Apart from her dress, to be honest, she just turned-up to her wedding. She had zero idea what she wanted and so my mother just did everything as ''safely'' as she could (as my sister gets hysterical if she thinks someone could criticise what she has done.)

The last wedding I went to, the music and church service were totally traditional, Wagner up and Mendelssohn down.

Standard Limo and Tuxes, standard meal, BM''s in black, white cake.

It was a beautiful and classy wedding, but it was sad that there were no personal touches anywhere.

I''d be surprised if anyone off PS doesn''t have a load of personal touches - that''s what we are doing on this forum, bouncing around ideas and thinking about what we are doing.

It is more difficult if you have a church service though as they have pretty strict rules on what you can and can''t have.

Haven, some of the things I''m doing are:

Save the Dates, Menu, Tableplan - all with a design I made using characters taken from the Bayeaux Tapestry.

Venue - Battle Abbey - the site of the Battle of Hastings in 1066 (It''s a boarding-school, so not really a wedding venue)

Wine - from the town in Italy I lived in for 6 years

Favours - I''m handprinting herb bags with our monogram and filling them with the herbs I will have in my bouquet, all of which are traditional medieval wedding herbs with special meanings.

A Gold and Ivory tudor-style wedding dress

I''ve asked the groomsmen to wear black or grey morning dress, grey waistcoats and a tie of their own choice.

All the ceremony music are pieces special to us that I have had transposed for organ.

We have written our own vows with rather bizarre (apparently) readings that we like.

I have made my own cake (last weekend) - four tiers of fruitcake with marzipan waistbands to my great-grandmother''s recipe. (I''m going to try and ice them in June - I''m petrified!)

 

[Haven]

Miscka--Don''t let this silly thread stress you out--especially if you''re not even planning a wedding! I honestly just didn''t know what everyone meant by a cookie cutter wedding, as I''d never heard the term and couldn''t fathom how two weddings could be the same.

I agree with everything Basil said, too, and I *hope* that there aren''t many brides and grooms out there planning their weddings based on current trends and the like. Who knows, though--my friends are all very unique and eccentric, so perhaps I just haven''t attended one of these cookie cutter weddings. My friends have very diverse ethnic and religious backgrounds, too, which makes every event unique, as well.

NEATFREAK! I love your wedding details, they sound so very lovely. I especially like that you had all your guests sign your marriage certificate, what a special way to involve everyone. And The Velveteen Rabbit was one of my favorites as a child, too, though it always made me very sad. And as for being dog people--I always say that one can never be alone in a dog park because they always attract the best people!

 

[happilyeverafter]

We are doing a few things differently too:

-groom's stepmom to marry us
-bride (me!) wearing a wrist corsage instead of a bouquet (before this I had made up a beautiful dried flower bouquet, but decided I didn't want to carry anything the day of)
-wearing brown high-heeled boots under my dress
-Sunday morning wedding with lunch reception at a casual restaurant - NO toasts, first dance, bouquet/garter toss, dancing, cake
-no bridal party
-no parents allowed to pay for anything (much to their chagrin - not sure why I decided this

)
-no personal vows (personal vows seems to be more common than traditional nowadays it seems)
-ering and wring are same ring!
-groom is wearing a brown courdory blazer with black pants. No tie
-only 26 people including us (and i think that's too many!) Immediate family and three sets of friends only
-no real colour scheme, mainly just white/ivory details

Umm, I think that's it.

 

[bee*]

Date: 11/27/2007 1:44:51 PM
Author: basil
There''s a fine line between being cookie-cutter and being traditional. And there''s a fine line between doing something personal and doing something different just to be different.


Do what you like and who cares. Most people probably won''t notice the details all that much. The majority of your guests won''t surf the knot and won''t realize that everyone else is going a candy buffet too or that a bunch of other people wore Maggie Sottero. But if you''re more Sex Pistols than Canon in D, then go for it! But just cause everyone uses Canon in D doesn''t mean it''s an unoriginal, cookie-cutter choice - things are popular for a reason.


And maybe the Sex Pistols don''t make good wedding music for a reason, too

Totally agree with this. For me, I don''t care what''s trendy or what''s not. D and I are paying for our wedding so we''re going to get what we like. As I''ve had so many exams since I got engaged, I haven''t gotten in to the planning yet apart from booking a venue, so I''m not sure what type of things I want yet, but the one thing that D really wants is a gospel choir to sing at the ceremony, which I think is great. We heard them play a few years ago and everyone was clapping and singing and I want our day to be about celebration so I''m looking forward to booking them.
D wants the A-team van as our car but I''m not so sure about that one

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I whole-heartedly believe that if you plan something you LOVE, everybody will love it. I was so NOT looking forward to planning our wedding--I really didn't want a weding at all, but when my husband and I decided that we would have a wedding, I set out to plan something untraditional and very "us". DH was very active in planning, so what we created was a mesh of both of our styles and the things we loved.

I knew I wanted something on the coast. Outdoors, in the fall. We ended up renting a private home and having my family stay with me. I wanted that kind of warmth and intimacy for the wedding. Dan didn't want anything religious, I didn't want any speak of "unconditional love" haha, we both wanted all of our guests to be a part of the ceremony (our families had vows), I wanted blue shoes, a non-poofy dress and a birdcage veil...the veil didn't work out. We both agreed that the focus was on the FOOD (and wine)--great new england lobsters. I wanted all of our guests in bibs. I wanted to chat the night away, no DJ, just an iPod with Ella Fitzgerald, Bing Crosby, Billy Holiday, etc. I didn't want a wedding cake, he did. We settled for nothing white, haha. We wanted to have FUN! Nothing stuffy, nothing grand, just great food, great company and a great day. And boy did we have it!

Oh, and of course, our dog HAD to be a part of the day. That was our #1 priority.

In the end, even though I wanted nothing to do with the wedding, we really came together and created something we absolutley loved. And everybody had an amazing, fun, wonderful time!

 

[Miscka]

Haven no worries, I think stressed is a bit of a strong word

I have a long time before I need to be "stressed" about anything wedding related! I have a close friend who is planning a wedding, and I think I just am finally starting to realize how hard it would be to plan something that is meaningful and that others enjoy and that you are proud of. I would be sad if I worked hard on an event that someone else wrote off as cookie cutter. I am loving these ideas people are throwing out here, and will have to give her some of these, and save some for myself!

 

[sap483]

I agree with the others, I''ve been to a few weddings where the entire event was generic. The thing is, when I think back to those weddings, they all kind of blur together without any distinguishing characteristics. Sure they were all nice, but nothing about then stands out as being special. On the contrary, one couple that are close friends of FI and I got married in an old historic barn, decorated with over 5000 Christmas lights and played lots of country music. It fit them completely. No, it wasn''t the most elegant wedding I''ve been to, but I remember it better than most others because they put a lot of thought into making it theirs and making sure their guests had fun. I went to another wedding the weekend before and the only thing I remember about that wedding was the awful wedding ceremony that lasted for 2 hours and the priest that insulted women, people of other religions, and homosexuals - yes different, but not in a good way!. The rest was "cookie cutter."

At another wedding I remember well the couple entered the reception dancing to "Party Like a Rockstar" and continued to tear up the dance floor all night. They also gave away pickled peppers that they were known for making as favors. Again, it was very appropriate for them...

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/27/2007 2:30:49 PM
Author: sumbride
I think a cookie-cutter wedding happens when people don''t really think about what THEY want and are trying too hard to ''do it right''. If the mom does most of the planning, or a wedding planner for that matter, there''s a chance that it won''t reflect the couple and then you have a generic boring cookie-cutter wedding.

I honestly don''t know that I''ve been to a rote cookie-cutter wedding... sure, I''ve seen elements that drove me crazy, like my friend''s reception that I swear was ''wedding cd vol. 1'' including the chicken dance, YMCA, celebration, hokey pokey and we are family, ALL IN A ROW. It was a bit much. But at that same wedding, we were delighted to note that the bride and groom served ice cream with their cake because the BRIDE LOVES ICE CREAM. It was awesome and special. It also kind of helped me overlook their entrance song being Def Leppard''s ''Pour some sugar on me'' which was, um, slightly inappropriate.

When we planned our wedding, we decided to make it very ''us''. Even though it was a fancy country club shindig for hundreds, we had it outside instead of in a church. We used secular music WITH LYRICS for all our processional/recessionals. We had non-matching bridesmaid dresses and multiple flower girls. We served punch to all the guests before they were seated for the wedding. We exited the ceremony in a golf cart. Our first dance was to an REM song because that''s why we met. We didn''t do a garter or bouquet toss because it wasn''t ''us''. We stayed until the end! And we had a blast. THAT is what makes a wedding personal. It''s not about color schemes or gimmicks, it''s about genuine honest FEELING and people can tell if it reflects the couple. And they like it when it does.

As long as you put thought into WHY you''re doing something it won''t be cookie cutter.

Yeah, what she said!

 

[Independent Gal]

Here''s something that might help.

When I first started planning and was feeling bummed / confused, someone on here suggested to me that I stop, and make a list of the 5 things that were most meaningful and important to me for my wedding day, and plan around that.

So, if instead of starting with ''what are my colours?! what are my favours?! what will my BM''s wear?!'' you start with a list like:

1) I want to dance with my grandpa / grandma / best friends / brother at my wedding
2) I want my wedding to involve my dog / ice cream / elephants / FI''s favourite colour
3) I want to serve a memorable meal at my wedding
4) I want to wear one thing / attach one thing to my bouquet that belongs to each of my close female relatives / BM''s
5) I want to feel like a princess / Jedi knight / fashionista / rock star on my wedding day

That kind of thing ... if you begin with the things that feel meaningful and work out from there instead of starting wtih a to-do list, it might be easier to avoid cookie-cutter-ness

Just a thought! Since it helped me sooooo much, personally.

 

[lauralu]

EEEEK........after we are pronounced man and wife and the ceremony is over we are thinking of passing out champagne.. Oj and champagne (mimosas) It''s going to be a morning ceremony and brunch after... and toasting all the guests marriages, special relationships, loved ones ect and passing around a box of Bono sun glases for everyone to put on and than walking back up? or is it back down the isle? to U2''s "beautiful day"

FI thinks Bono is so cool....okay yeah......me too! He''s a god actually....we love that song.

does that all sound Corney????????????????????????

 

[HollyS]

When I posted *TRENDS* it was to make a point that today''s "fresh ideas" are tomorrow''s traditions.

No one should stress about how to please everyone; how to do everything Miss Manners style; or even how to "WOW" the guests. Don''t stress. Make a list of what is important to you, and what isn''t important. You will know, instinctively, what traditions to use and what to toss, and how you can make your wedding personal and intimate.

Dave and I chose to have a modified Episcopal service - not at the church. We didn''t want to feel forced to include people just because we all go to the same church. We carefully chose our scripture readings that meant something to us, and asked very good friends to be our readers.

I walked down the aisle to the very traditional "Jesu, Joy of Man''s Desiring" by Bach; but we went out to an original and unpublished piece of music composed by our classical guitarist.

We chose to dress up "the chapel" at the Inn so that it really did look like a small church instead of just a building. We got a black wrought iron cross at HL for the back wall, and matching black based hurricane lamps and a lovely fall tapestry runner for the ''altar'' table. These are all items that we are now using in our home.

We wanted a family wedding portraits to be on display; especially because we have each lost a parent and all of our grandparents. It was our way of having them with us as we celebrated our own wedding. I chose to use an ivory satin purse my late mother carried at my older sister''s 1975 wedding.

We didn''t do a garter or bouquet toss; my bouquet is drying in a glass vase on my bookcase where I can see it everyday. We did not have a band or DJ at the reception; we were so small that a CD player with light jazz made perfect dinner music, and still gave people something to dance to. And, no, we did not have a first dance.

As my wedding planner confirmed, most favors are left sitting on the table -- people don''t remember to pick them up and take them home. So, we decided that since nearly everyone loves chocolate, we would put out these miniature champagne glasses filled with chocolates wrapped in fall colors. Cheap, easy, complimented the table decor without being too cheesy, and everyone enjoyed them.

We loved every detail of our wedding; we don''t regret a thing; we don''t think we missed anything that we ''should have done''; and if we did it all again tomorrow, it would be much the same.

As I was reading the posts here, I had to laugh. We''re talking about cookie-cutter weddings today, but all trends aside, today''s brides have MANY more choices than the brides of 25-30 years ago, when no one would have dared to swim against the tide of ''tradition''! You would only have to look at my sister''s album from 1975 with the carefully composed and posed pictures recording the floral and apparel choices of that era to realize just how far we''ve come! As I recall, you either had a pink or blue wedding (some ''odd'' people actually chose yellow or maybe lavender, lol), or if it was at Christmas, you could have hunter green, red, or burgundy. And, of course, the bride was literally swaddled in yards of fabric with a neckline up to the chin. For those of us old enough to remember, there was quite a lot of ''talk'' when Tricia Nixon decided to wear a sleeveless dress for her wedding in 1971!

 

[Haven]

Date: 11/27/2007 5:18:45 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Here's something that might help.


When I first started planning and was feeling bummed / confused, someone on here suggested to me that I stop, and make a list of the 5 things that were most meaningful and important to me for my wedding day, and plan around that.

I love this, Indy! I've had an internal list going since we were first engaged, it goes like this:

1) FI and I get married.
2) I get to wear a beautiful, once-in-a-lifetime dress.
3) We have a yummy cheese table with all my favorites. (Gouda, dill havarti, gruyere, baked brie, yummm!)

That's it! These are the only things I really care about. (No wonder the only thing I've done is buy my dress, and I did that shortly after getting engaged!)

Lauralu--I think your plan sounds adorable, and very YOU! Don't even think twice about whether or not it's cheesy.