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Conspiracy Theories

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CrookedRock

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So I would say that I am not a conspiracy threorist, yet I seem to know quite a few people who are. I''m not gonna lie, some of their theories aren''t all that far fetched, but others well...
I want to hear some of the funnier/stranger ones you''ve heard.

(Let''s not take this to 9/11 or anything too serious)
 

CrookedRock

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Here''s one I find amusing... A friend of ours has a friend who believes that the white trails that jets leave in the sky are poison. He calls them "Chem Trails" and he thinks the govt is slowly poisoning all of us. Ummm... ok LOL
 

fieryred33143

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OMG My FI is soooo into conspiracy theories. He''ll get on youtube for hours just listening to the theories that people post on there. He drives me crazy.

I can''t think of any funny ones. The most recent was telling me that the illuminati have some sort of signal they do with their hands and when you watch political conferences, you have to scope the audience to see the sign. So we''ll watch something and he''ll go "there! Did you see it??" "No honey" "Oh man...you missed it again"

Uh-huh. Sure
 

fieryred33143

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Date: 3/5/2009 9:20:48 AM
Author: CrookedRock
Here''s one I find amusing... A friend of ours has a friend who believes that the white trails that jets leave in the sky are poison. He calls them ''Chem Trails'' and he thinks the govt is slowly poisoning all of us. Ummm... ok LOL
LMAO This one too!!! He told me that the other day. There were a bunch of white trails in the sky but we couldn''t find the planes. He said those were chem trails that the government uses to keep the population in control.

I swear he''s normal you guys
 

tlh

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Everything labelled "Diet" is really only a conspiracy to make you fatter... as most people end up eating more of a "low-fat food" than they would of the higher calorie counterpart....
 

purrfectpear

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The moon landing was faked. We''ve never been there
 

MichelleCarmen

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Date: 3/5/2009 9:22:21 AM
Author: fieryred33143
I can't think of any funny ones. The most recent was telling me that the illuminati have some sort of signal they do with their hands and when you watch political conferences, you have to scope the audience to see the sign. So we'll watch something and he'll go 'there! Did you see it??' 'No honey' 'Oh man...you missed it again'
Fieryred- does your husband read Robert Anton Wilson books? My husband LOVES those books and read the Illuminatus two times!

PP - I always tell my husband that the Moon landing was staged. It's funny because I'm not sure he entirely knows I'm joking. Sometimes I even wonder, myself! lol
 

Bia

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FI is a craaaaaazy conspiracy theorist (drives me crazy, more like it)


He believes anything, in any way government related, is a complete fraud. From AIDS, to 9-11, to Native Americans, to mind control, to the Patriot Act...I'd be here all day if I listed every one of his 'theories.'

Fiery, my man stays on youtube watching clips from that conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones. If your man doesn't know who he is, DON'T TELL HIM!!!!
 

Hudson_Hawk

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FI and I aren''t conspiracy theorists, but we love to read about them because they''re dramatic. We love reading books/watch documentaries about the Illuminati and the Freemasons and the occult. FI was a philosophy major, so I think a lot of the appeal for him is seeing how people connect theories with events. I just love adventure and controversial stories.
 

Bia

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Oops, CR said something funny...let''s see. He won''t eat non-organic veggies/meat/dairy/etc because he thinks pesticides and hormones are toxcities purposely used by the government to keep people unhealthy. He also won''t become an organ donor because he thinks the government might drop him just to get their hands on his kidney.


Talk about sick...

 

Bia

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Date: 3/5/2009 10:21:01 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
FI and I aren't conspiracy theorists, but we love to read about them because they're dramatic. We love reading books/watch documentaries about the Illuminati and the Freemasons and the occult. FI was a philosophy major, so I think a lot of the appeal for him is seeing how people connect theories with events. I just love adventure and controversial stories.
FI does too. Has tons of books on the subject and swears most of the US Presidents are/were 'Illuminati.'

ETA: He won't even use AOL because it is owned by Time Warner and he swears those rich folks at TW are all 'connected.' Calls it "Illuminati Online."

I know, I know...my man's a looney toon.
 

fieryred33143

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Date: 3/5/2009 10:42:45 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 3/5/2009 10:21:01 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
FI and I aren''t conspiracy theorists, but we love to read about them because they''re dramatic. We love reading books/watch documentaries about the Illuminati and the Freemasons and the occult. FI was a philosophy major, so I think a lot of the appeal for him is seeing how people connect theories with events. I just love adventure and controversial stories.
FI does too. Has tons of books on the subject and swears most of the US Presidents are/were ''Illuminati.''
Mr. Fiery too.

I wish I could remember all the stuff he has told me. I tend to tune him out. The other day though we were talking about getting baby monitors and he said something about how those types of equipment help the government spy on you. So I said "what about your cell phone?" He stares at it for a couple of seconds and then says "damn" LMAO

He''s crazy. The illuminati and freemasons conversations are interesting though when he gets into it.

MC-I''m going to recommend that author to him!
 

PaulaW

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Oh man... my dad is the WORST when it comes to theories. He used to listen to a radio show hosted by Art Bell that used to get him really riled up. My favorite was Y2K. He was convinced that planes would fall from the sky, we wouldn''t be able to get money from the bank, that the power grid was going to fail... on and on. He stocked the house with bottled water and canned goods and was thisclose to ordering an "Enviro-let" - basically a porta-potty for the backyard in case the water supply was interrupted. My mom and I drew the line there and threatened to have him committed. Poor guy hasn''t (and will never) live that one down.
 

Maisie

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This is a bit different to what has been posted already but here we go.

My husband thinks that Ben and Jerry (Ice cream makers) are two bitter and twisted old men who have been so seriously hurt by women that they have committed their lives to making gorgeous ice cream. The plan is for women to love it so much that they will eat too much and end up fat and miserable
 

fieryred33143

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Date: 3/5/2009 10:16:00 AM
Author: Bia
FI is a craaaaaazy conspiracy theorist (drives me crazy, more like it)


He believes anything, in any way government related, is a complete fraud. From AIDS, to 9-11, to Native Americans, to mind control, to the Patriot Act...I''d be here all day if I listed every one of his ''theories.''

Fiery, my man stays on youtube watching clips from that conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones. If your man doesn''t know who he is, DON''T TELL HIM!!!!
I had to ask him if he knew Jones just to know and he said "of course" LOL
 

Bia

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Date: 3/5/2009 11:24:12 AM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 3/5/2009 10:16:00 AM
Author: Bia
FI is a craaaaaazy conspiracy theorist (drives me crazy, more like it)


He believes anything, in any way government related, is a complete fraud. From AIDS, to 9-11, to Native Americans, to mind control, to the Patriot Act...I''d be here all day if I listed every one of his ''theories.''

Fiery, my man stays on youtube watching clips from that conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones. If your man doesn''t know who he is, DON''T TELL HIM!!!!
I had to ask him if he knew Jones just to know and he said ''of course'' LOL
LOL figures...crazy, I''m telling you.
 

Circe

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Date: 3/5/2009 9:23:44 AM
Author: fieryred33143
Date: 3/5/2009 9:20:48 AM

Author: CrookedRock

Here''s one I find amusing... A friend of ours has a friend who believes that the white trails that jets leave in the sky are poison. He calls them ''Chem Trails'' and he thinks the govt is slowly poisoning all of us. Ummm... ok LOL
LMAO This one too!!! He told me that the other day. There were a bunch of white trails in the sky but we couldn''t find the planes. He said those were chem trails that the government uses to keep the population in control.

You guys probably already know this, but contrails or vapor trails are just basically water vapor - and *good* for the environment. They slow the rate of global warming. When all flights were grounded after 9/11, scientists noticed that the rate went up by 3% in a matter of days. Some "conspiracy!"

P.S. - I decided to Google this to make sure I had my figures right. Good news is, Wikipedia

addresses the study. The bad news is, the third hit for contrail is a conspiracy website. OY.
 

Hudson_Hawk

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Date: 3/5/2009 11:00:02 AM
Author: PaulaW
Oh man... my dad is the WORST when it comes to theories. He used to listen to a radio show hosted by Art Bell that used to get him really riled up. My favorite was Y2K. He was convinced that planes would fall from the sky, we wouldn''t be able to get money from the bank, that the power grid was going to fail... on and on. He stocked the house with bottled water and canned goods and was thisclose to ordering an ''Enviro-let'' - basically a porta-potty for the backyard in case the water supply was interrupted. My mom and I drew the line there and threatened to have him committed. Poor guy hasn''t (and will never) live that one down.
My father actually BUILT a large generator at his house so when the bug hit and knocked out the power he''d be self-sufficient.

I don''t know if you can call my father a conspiracy theorist, or just paranoid. He worked for the govt for years (retired LtC), and I think he knows some of the stuff that goes on and so is VERY cautious about his actions and the information that''s out there about him...I always joke because he reminds me of the Robert DeNiro character in Meet the Parents. Luckily FI is former military as well so he knew what to expect.
 

Clio

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My dad is not normally a conspiracy theorist, but he is CONVINCED that Butch and Sundance weren''t actually killed in Bolivia.
 

MichelleCarmen

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Date: 3/5/2009 10:47:53 AM
Author: fieryred33143


Date: 3/5/2009 10:42:45 AM
Author: Bia



Date: 3/5/2009 10:21:01 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
FI and I aren't conspiracy theorists, but we love to read about them because they're dramatic. We love reading books/watch documentaries about the Illuminati and the Freemasons and the occult. FI was a philosophy major, so I think a lot of the appeal for him is seeing how people connect theories with events. I just love adventure and controversial stories.
FI does too. Has tons of books on the subject and swears most of the US Presidents are/were 'Illuminati.'

MC-I'm going to recommend that author to him!
Okay, but don't recommend the Illuminati!!! lol I'm embarassed now for mentioning it! It has A LOT of strange stuff in it (if only we had private mail, I could provide more info) but it's VERY weird and a lot of swearing and twisted thinking and has things that "normal" people would freak out if they read.

Robert Anton Wilson has a basic book, "Everything Is Under Control," that outlines all kinds of conspiracies that have occured over the centuries and is a good light read (you can read a page at a time, here and there). He has other books my DH loves that may be more of interest than the Illuminatus.
 

MichelleCarmen

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PaulaW - My husband and I listened to Art Bell for years! lol It was fun entertainment.

Bia - Aren't the all the presidents suppose to be "Skulls?" They come from a long history of being members of that when they were in college or somewhere? (DH and I watched a show about it)

Hudson - Does your dad still have the generator? He'll need it for the end of the world in Dec. 2012!!!

Oh, there is a conspiracy surrounding Fluoride *in water* that it's poisonous, has population subdueing properties, and slowly killing all of us. People, such as diabetics, who drink high quantities of water, are more at risk. Some countries (like Russia) have banned it from their water supply!!!
 

elrohwen

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Date: 3/5/2009 10:24:01 AM
Author: Bia

Oops, CR said something funny...let''s see. He won''t eat non-organic veggies/meat/dairy/etc because he thinks pesticides and hormones are toxcities purposely used by the government to keep people unhealthy. He also won''t become an organ donor because he thinks the government might drop him just to get their hands on his kidney.



Talk about sick...

I have some friends who won''t become organ donors because they''re convinced that the hospital sees that you''re an organ donor and then lets you die so they can harvest your organs


I find it hilarious that so many men are into these theories, but so far not many women.
 

MichelleCarmen

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Date: 3/5/2009 1:25:19 PM
Author: elrohwen

I have some friends who won't become organ donors because they're convinced that the hospital sees that you're an organ donor and then lets you die so they can harvest your organs


I find it hilarious that so many men are into these theories, but so far not many women.
Bleh, I'm removing "organ donor" from my driver's license.

There's the MRSA virus thought that tons of people have died from it and a simple test can be done ahead of time to be sure that a person is okay. If they're not and an operation is done, the person can get sick and die. Then on the death certificate, it will say that the person died from heart failure or something else that was caused by MRSA, BUT that part will NOT be put on the death certificate, protecting the hospital from being sued for not testing for MRSA. . .The Seattle Times even wrote up an article about it!

ETA - I just found a yahoo questions page where someone said that the Illuminati are behind MRSA. . "ILLuminati, seems like they control everything. I just hope they are not being controlled by some reptilian space race from Alpha Draconis."
 

CrookedRock

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Date: 3/5/2009 10:47:53 AM
Author: fieryred33143

I wish I could remember all the stuff he has told me. I tend to tune him out. The other day though we were talking about getting baby monitors and he said something about how those types of equipment help the government spy on you. So I said ''what about your cell phone?'' He stares at it for a couple of seconds and then says ''damn'' LMAO
In FI''s parents home, his Dad won''t let us talk about important things (ie. finances, purchases, plans, etc...) anywhere near a computer bc he thinks they can hear you! Unreal!
 

Bia

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Date: 3/5/2009 1:11:53 PM
Author: MC

Date: 3/5/2009 10:47:53 AM
Author: fieryred33143



Date: 3/5/2009 10:42:45 AM
Author: Bia




Date: 3/5/2009 10:21:01 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
FI and I aren''t conspiracy theorists, but we love to read about them because they''re dramatic. We love reading books/watch documentaries about the Illuminati and the Freemasons and the occult. FI was a philosophy major, so I think a lot of the appeal for him is seeing how people connect theories with events. I just love adventure and controversial stories.
FI does too. Has tons of books on the subject and swears most of the US Presidents are/were ''Illuminati.''

MC-I''m going to recommend that author to him!
Okay, but don''t recommend the Illuminati!!! lol I''m embarassed now for mentioning it! It has A LOT of strange stuff in it (if only we had private mail, I could provide more info) but it''s VERY weird and a lot of swearing and twisted thinking and has things that ''normal'' people would freak out if they read.

Robert Anton Wilson has a basic book, ''Everything Is Under Control,'' that outlines all kinds of conspiracies that have occured over the centuries and is a good light read (you can read a page at a time, here and there). He has other books my DH loves that may be more of interest than the Illuminatus.
Ever seen Eyes Wide Shut MC? The craziness that goes on in parts of that movie was supposedly based on the Illuminati. FIs all over the topic. He is convinced it really happens in these supremely wealthy subpopulations. AND that they''re wannabe-occultists, doing all kinds of crazy things

LOL He cracks me up.
 

Hudson_Hawk

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Date: 3/5/2009 1:19:48 PM
Author: MC
PaulaW - My husband and I listened to Art Bell for years! lol It was fun entertainment.


Bia - Aren''t the all the presidents suppose to be ''Skulls?'' They come from a long history of being members of that when they were in college or somewhere? (DH and I watched a show about it)


Hudson - Does your dad still have the generator? He''ll need it for the end of the world in Dec. 2012!!!


Oh, there is a conspiracy surrounding Fluoride *in water* that it''s poisonous, has population subdueing properties, and slowly killing all of us. People, such as diabetics, who drink high quantities of water, are more at risk. Some countries (like Russia) have banned it from their water supply!!!
Yes, he does still have it, although it needs to be tuned up prior to the Apocalypse in 2012.
 

CrookedRock

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Date: 3/5/2009 10:06:24 AM
Author: purrfectpear
The moon landing was faked. We''ve never been there
Hmmm... Interesting that we''ve never been back though.
 

Hudson_Hawk

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I love this thread...
 

Bia

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Date: 3/5/2009 1:37:15 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 3/5/2009 1:19:48 PM
Author: MC
PaulaW - My husband and I listened to Art Bell for years! lol It was fun entertainment.


Bia - Aren''t the all the presidents suppose to be ''Skulls?'' They come from a long history of being members of that when they were in college or somewhere? (DH and I watched a show about it)


Hudson - Does your dad still have the generator? He''ll need it for the end of the world in Dec. 2012!!!


Oh, there is a conspiracy surrounding Fluoride *in water* that it''s poisonous, has population subdueing properties, and slowly killing all of us. People, such as diabetics, who drink high quantities of water, are more at risk. Some countries (like Russia) have banned it from their water supply!!!
Yes, he does still have it, although it needs to be tuned up prior to the Apocalypse in 2012.
hehehehe...
 

CrookedRock

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Date: 3/5/2009 11:23:07 AM
Author: Maisie
This is a bit different to what has been posted already but here we go.

My husband thinks that Ben and Jerry (Ice cream makers) are two bitter and twisted old men who have been so seriously hurt by women that they have committed their lives to making gorgeous ice cream. The plan is for women to love it so much that they will eat too much and end up fat and miserable
Maisie, this is hysterical!! I love it. I''m going to tell everyone that now!
 
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