Comments on your ring by wedding vendors?

[frillylace]

Has anyone noticed that people who work at wedding related venues tend to look at your ring first then you? I always feel like I am being sized up! Sometimes I wont even wear my ring because I don''t want them to assume anything.

Many of them also make comments about it. Usually something nice but I still don''t appreciate having my hand pulled up for them to look.

I am planning a renewal and going through this a second time is really irritating. It seems that dress shops are the worst offenders.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Oh, heaven forbid you leave the ring at home...they won''t let you try on any gowns!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Listen, when a girl get engaged (at least for a huge precentage of girls) they get a ring...and usually, for those girls, that engagement ring is a huge source of pride and they love showing it off. Ergo, any good wedding vendors know this, and they feel that by complimenting a bride on her bling, they are making her feel good and special like, out of all the rings they see your ring is special enough to be complimented. I genuinely believe that by them asking to see you ring, or making friendly comments about the beauty of it, none of it is done to offend you.

If you don't like it, don't wear it...or blow their compliments off by simply saying "thank you" and letting the topic go.

 

[musey]

I did get a lot of those ring comments. I think it goes with the territory - they are in the business of weddings, and therefore the majority of women that come in will have a new sparkley. It's a conversation starter, an ego stroker. They don't mean anything ill by it, it's just something to say.

I got more comments on my perceived age (they all seemed to think I was under 18

sheesh) than my ring. That actually did bug me. I think they thought they were complimenting me (I suppose most women like to be told how young they look?) but it came off more as judgment on my young marriage. I guess if they really did think I was under 18 I can't blame them.

Honestly I think having my ring made those vendors who thought I was SO young take me a little more seriously!

 

[Bliss]

I agree, they are usually very complimentary but I definitely feel I'm being sized up. But hey, if it gets you better service...great. Still, it's kind of like a car dealership. When you drive up, the salesmen crane their necks to see what kind of car you're in and race over. LOL.

It's not the best indicator, but a business is still a business. If they would be more subtle, that would be nice. I think if you have a decent rock, the dresses that get pulled first are couture. But if they would greet you and not your ring first, it would be a nice touch.

But it's the excitement, too. In dress shops, most brides-to-be are clocking rings because it's new and exciting.

 

[meresal]

Date: 1/12/2009 11:47:06 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Listen, when a girl get engaged (at least for a huge precentage of girls) they get a ring...and usually, for those girls, that engagement ring is a huge source of pride and they love showing it off. Ergo, any good wedding vendors know this, and they feel that by complimenting a bride on her bling, they are making her feel good and special like, out of all the rings they see your ring is special enough to be complimented. I genuinely believe that by them asking to see you ring, or making friendly comments about the beauty of it, none of it is done to offend you.

If you don''t like it, don''t wear it...or blow their compliments off by simply saying ''thank you'' and letting the topic go.

Italia, you are right on the $$. I worked as a manager of a bridal salon, and by the time I was done there, I knew exactly what I "Didn''t" want my ring to look like. This is because I had to tell every girl how beautiful their ring was, eventhough I saw the exact same ring on the last 10 girls that came in. You talk about the ring, you talk about the location, and you talk about how they met. It just comes with the territory of wedding vendor, you are supposed to make the entire experience about "Her", so you allow her to talk baout herself the entire time.

I''m sorry you don''t like it, but it''s a very common thing. They''re just trying to make conversation and make you feel good.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Back in my early days with my current company, I spent a lot of time with brides...and opening that first conversation, or meeting (as a big bling lover) I did stroke her ego on how "beautiful" her ring was. And, if I''m being honest here...I wasn''t always truthful, I saw some of the most disgusting rings walk in--gum ball machine quality...the visuals I have still make me shudder, ick.

See, the bride-business is one totally and completely driven on emotion. If I can "make her feel good" then I can probably sell my services to her, bottom line. So, take it all with a grain of salt...it might not even be genuine....sometimes I''d pull hands closer just to get a better look at all the inclusions...lol.

 

[bee*]

I get lots of comments on mine too but as others have said, they know that it works so that''s why they do it. It doesn''t bother me personally though.

 

[emeraldlover1]

We weren''t technically engaged yet when we booked a lot of our vendors and never once did I feel uncomfortable. I bought my dress when I didn''t have my engagement ring yet and no one said anything to me about it.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I have a ring that always draws comments from vendors etc, so I purposely leave it at home when I meet with vendors or go to bridal shows. I''m convinced that just like when they hear the word "wedding", when they see a nice ring they move the decimal to the right a spot or two. I have a more modest diamond birthstone ring that I wear on these occasions. It pays to be an April baby!

 

[kittybean]

I've gotten a number of comments, but it didn't matter whether I was wearing my own ring or my mom's .25ct original e-ring. I think they just want to make the bride feel good. I would just quickly say "thank you" and move on to the business side of things--they probably thought I was some sort of bride robot!

My good friend's parents are wedding vendors, and she explained that when she would help them at bridal shows, she was instructed to say, "Congratulations!" "Your ring is beautiful!" and "When is your wedding?" to every single bride that came up to their booth. She said she would always be checking out brides' rings right away so she could think of something nice to say about them, even if they were truly ugly.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Wow.. I guess the shop I work in is maybe less aggressive than where some of you shop. I only compliment a ring if 1) I genuinely like it and 2) the moment is right.. Like if I''ve been with a bride for an hour and I keep noticing her ring, I may say something. But I find it really odd that some vendors would say something about it right away.

I also would never judge how much money a bride would spend on a dress based on her ring. That to me is ridiculous.

 

[iheartscience]

Hahaha-I got completely pounced on by a girl at this booth at the Bridal Expo I went to on Sunday. She grabbed my hand and called her manager over to look at it, too. Then they told me they LOVED my outfit, and my boots, and then they said "We just love you!" I wanted to be like "Chill out ladies-I''m probably gonna buy my dress as soon as I leave here!"

 

[Sizzle]

Date: 1/12/2009 10:45:26 AM
Author:frillylace
Has anyone noticed that people who work at wedding related venues tend to look at your ring first then you? I always feel like I am being sized up! Sometimes I wont even wear my ring because I don''t want them to assume anything.

Many of them also make comments about it. Usually something nice but I still don''t appreciate having my hand pulled up for them to look.

I am planning a renewal and going through this a second time is really irritating. It seems that dress shops are the worst offenders.

Maybe the vendors are just diamondofiles and can''t help but look. I know I am like that, but I try to be a bit more discreet.

 

[HollyS]

Many of my vendors noticed the ring, only to compliment it. They wouldn''t dream of not doing so, would they? If they were less than complimentary, you would think they were snotty and take your business elsewhere. Their job is to be as nice as possible to potential clients. If you feel dissed by anyone, or judged, take your wedding needs to another vendor. I would.

 

[NakedFinger]

I am a wedding planner, and I can say a lot of it is just trying to "bond" with the bride. Any in the wedding industry, their job is to make the bride feel like a princess, and make things "all about her". While I def hate when I see other vendors like GRAB someone''s hand, put their face down to the ring and say "OMG that rings is BEAUTIFUL!" (to me very tacky, and unprofessional), I will make a comment more along the lines (to the groom) "and may I say you did a great job on the ring!" or say to the bride "your ring is beautiful". And this would only be after I have worked with them a bit, not right off the bat. Like ItaliaHaircolor said, they''re dying to show off their ring, and most love the attention (I know when I get mine, im going to be super annoying and show it to anyone who will look!

However, I do get what you mean about the "sizing me up" comment. I USE TO work with someone, who flat out said she looked at bride''s rings first, to determine how much she was going to charge them (and I don''t doubt some other''s have that mindset as well). That''s completely dumb for two reasons:

1) its completely immoral to do that
and 2) honestly, its completely inaccurate. A bride''s fiancé may have a really good job, or maybe have maxed out a credit card to buy her a ring....however her parents are paying for the wedding, and they don''t have the money. Or likewise her fiancé may be a student, and not have the money to get her a "HUGE" ring....but her parents are wealthy and are paying for the wedding...etc.
More often than not though, I would say its the first scenario, that the vendor is just trying to be nice. If it makes you uncomfortable, just say thank you and change the subject. Just be happy you have a ring that gets attention!