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Clucky?

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E B

Ideal_Rock
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I'll admit it: Since I became engaged, I've been mildly baby curious. Combined with my natural *need* to research everything to death, I lurk on different parenting and pregnancy communities, partially from boredom and partially because we will be parents at some point.

Rarely my 'cluckiness' (a term I found in a livejournal community referring to the feeling a woman gets when her body starts to long for a baby) goes to moderate, but when that happens, I just remind myself that we're still young, not married, I'm not out of college (4 more months!), and I still enjoy sleeping in.

Last night, I had a dream I was babysitting my cousin when she was a baby. In my dream, she was a soft, giggly, fat baby who ran around and I'd chase her and hug and kiss her baby tummy. Seriously, it was so real.

This morning, I'm playing around online and go to one of the parenting communities I occasionally visit. While looking at the pictures and reading the descriptions, I was suddenly hit by a ton of bricks. It's as if my ovaries were screaming. This cluckiness I'm experiencing is severe.

Don't worry, FH and I aren't planning on children for a while. But I'm curious as to what may be causing these feelings. Hormones? The dream?

Do any of you experience this, ever?

Just thought it might be a fun Thursday topic.
 

ephemery1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 20, 2006
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Oh, I've got it bad... I'm just glad to know there's a name for it!


I'm 27 and one of the first of my close friends to get married, but most of FI's friends are already married and starting the baby-stage... and it's KILLING ME.

FI loves kids and wants them too, but he's not in a rush, and really doesn't understand why I'm so obsessed. He thinks it is because I always want to be moving on to the next thing, so now that the wedding is just a few months away, this is my new focus.

But I was never one of those girls who desperately wanted a boyfriend or spent long hours dreaming of a lavish wedding (I had a friend in college with a subscription to Bride magazine but no prospective husbands whatsoever). Instead, I bought baby name books, and played with dolls until I was WAY too old to be playing with dolls, and babysat constantly... I still remember one couple coming home to find me on their couch intently reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting"... I was about 15.


So contrary to FI's theory, my focus was really ALWAYS on having a family. But now that it's so much more real..... ahhhh!!!! Definitely a bit clucky.
 

caligal

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 16, 2005
Messages
470
I think that is the best word I''ve heard in a long time Ebree... clucky!! Awesome!
It''s funny... it is starting to finally happen to me to. I had always thought I would be a mom, probably a stay at home mom, as that is what I had. But as I got older and saw the transition couples faced when going from just the two of them to family.... I became a bit more - hmmm, do I really want that? Now, I see all the facets and think- yep, but now I start to question- will I be good at it? Can I do it financially? Will our relationship suffer?

Everyone at work and around is pregnant... in total: 5 women at work, one friend, and 2 relatives! So yes, it certainly is starting that drive to push a lot. I think it partly is hormonal, societal, and just a natural babies are adorable- can''t wait to be called Mommy thing.
 

E B

Ideal_Rock
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Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one!


FH and I play poker with two of his coworkers and their wives weekly, and both of the wives are pregnant! One isn't there much, but I'm always asking the other to touch her stomach (to see if I can feel ANYTHING!). She's due in April with a boy, and she and her husband are very excited.

Both couples are 5 years older than we are, though, so we know we have waiting to do. We're only 23 and 24...24 and 25 when we marry. But this biological urge is crazy. I actually happen to think it's pretty cool.
 

Tacori E-ring

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Ebree, I can relate. Everytime I see a cute baby I feel the urge.
 

Sundial

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Ebree your "clucky" post made me laugh! My children are young adults now, but I remember the "clucky" feeling. I just didn''t have a name for it. It is perfectly normal and to be expected when you are in a committed relationship and have friends and family members with cute babies. I am all for motherhood, but just pay attention to some teenagers too so you know what you are getting into in the long run!
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 18, 2005
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7,074
I feel like that too, in a similar situation (but a year behind you
). My FI is 3 and a half years older than me, so by the time we'll be married he'll be ready for babies, but 26 is the absolute minimum for me, so we'll wait at least another 3 years.

But I am feeling very clucky! I have a friend who had a baby last April, one who's expecting next April and another one who's trying to get pregnant, so it's not helping!
 

larussel03

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I''m def in the minority here, but I have NO desire whatsoever to have children...no cluck clucking for me. While I do want to have a family I don''t feel the slightest inclination towards desiring children or babies. To be honest when I see children just out period I think "oh no." Except for one of my coworkers daughters who has the cutest side bangs and fashion sense (she plans her own outfits at 4!).

Maybe I''m missing the mommy gene. I prefer dogs at this point


FI and I do want a family, eventually,
but not till we''re in our early to mid 30''s (thinking 32-35ish). We''re 26 and 25 now (will be 27 and 26 when married). Some of it has to do with him being in school...his PhD program will be 5 years MINIMUM (pharmacology).

Almost none of my friends want kids until they''re in their 30''s, and most of us are in relationships, engaged or newlyweds. Alot of them are extremely career driven, or some just want to "have fun" (although we do lose the perks of being young when the babies are grown up) and a good amount are in graduate school. We''ll prob all be preggers at 35, but I only know of one couple who is getting married in June who wants kids before 30. I can''t think of anyone else in my and FI''s circles of friends who are interested in children any time soon. I don''t know if demographics plays a role, but we''re from Boston.

I was actually talking to a guy at work about this, about how I didn''t even feel "maternal" or "mature" enough for children. He said it changes when you decide you WANT children, then you become maternal and mature enough. Maybe you just become ready at a certain point. I know it''ll happen for me, I just don''t see it for a long time.
 

gailrmv

Ideal_Rock
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Love the term... I''m having a hard time with this too. I''m in my late 20s and always thought the desire to have kids would be kicking in by now. But it''s really not. I am fascinated with pregnancy and I do like babies a lot, but kids really get on my nerves. Also, I don''t get enough time w/ DH now anyway due to both of our crazy schedules, and I just don''t want to share him with anyone else. So obviously we are not even thinking of having a family now. But I just keep wondering when, if ever I will feel ready. I feel like I could be a mom and be good at it and be happy, or I could not ever be a mom and also be happy, but I just have no idea which way I will go. DH is pretty much in the same boat... I guess we''ll have to decide at some point!
 

WTNLVR

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Date: 2/1/2007 7:53:12 PM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*
I''m def in the minority here, but I have NO desire whatsoever to have children...no cluck clucking for me. While I do want to have a family I don''t feel the slightest inclination towards desiring children or babies. To be honest when I see children just out period I think ''oh no.'' Except for one of my coworkers daughters who has the cutest side bangs and fashion sense (she plans her own outfits at 4!).

Maybe I''m missing the mommy gene. I prefer dogs at this point


FI and I do want a family, eventually,
but not till we''re in our early to mid 30''s (thinking 32-35ish). We''re 26 and 25 now (will be 27 and 26 when married). Some of it has to do with him being in school...his PhD program will be 5 years MINIMUM (pharmacology).

Almost none of my friends want kids until they''re in their 30''s, and most of us are in relationships, engaged or newlyweds. Alot of them are extremely career driven, or some just want to ''have fun'' (although we do lose the perks of being young when the babies are grown up) and a good amount are in graduate school. We''ll prob all be preggers at 35, but I only know of one couple who is getting married in June who wants kids before 30. I can''t think of anyone else in my and FI''s circles of friends who are interested in children any time soon. I don''t know if demographics plays a role, but we''re from Boston.

I was actually talking to a guy at work about this, about how I didn''t even feel ''maternal'' or ''mature'' enough for children. He said it changes when you decide you WANT children, then you become maternal and mature enough. Maybe you just become ready at a certain point. I know it''ll happen for me, I just don''t see it for a long time.
Maybe it''s something about the Boston area?? I''m in my 40''s and most of our friends and most of my co-workers are childless by choice. Maybe the clucky gene is being phased out here?? I don''t know. Even though I decided not to have kids many years ago, I still can get "clucky" when I see a baby neice or nephew. It usually goes away as soon as my SIL starts screaming at her older kids
Seriously though, I think it is a normal life phase and starting a family is an exciting time for young couples.
 

Skippy123

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2006
Messages
24,299
I am clucky now that my sister had her gorgeous baby boy!!!!
 

poptart

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2006
Messages
1,899
Sigh. I admit. I suffer from cluckiness. And I shouldln''t because we are both too young and do NOT in any way want children right now. I think it just comes from seeing babies and thinking, "oh that would be nice". But no babies for at LEAST six years... at LEAST.

*M*
 

dani13

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2004
Messages
6,183
I LOVE children and we definitely want them at some point, but definitely not feeling "clucky" at this point. Its probably because I am a labor and delivery nurse- all I do is deal with preggos and babies all day, every day!!! They are definitely cute, but I thnk b/c I have been doing this job for so long, I have become immune to the whole baby thing- at least for a few more years!!!
 

E B

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
9,488
Thanks for all the different points of view, gals! I was talking to my mom on the phone today about my baby dream and the cluckiness, and she told me she didn't feel clucky until she was in her late 30s. Guess that's why I didn't come along until week she turned 38!


It's different for everyone, that's for sure. But man, did it hit me hard today. It was almost as if suddenly, my body shouted "GET ON THE BABY-MAKING, EMILY!" It's such a weird feeling I've had all day, one I can't begin to describe to my fiance. I always try to tell him how I'm feeling, and for the most part he agrees.

He always reminds me of our plans, though, which keeps me on track.
 

Kaleigh

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2004
Messages
29,570
Well I''m glad there is a term for it. I was clucky from the day I got married. But we waited a year before trying to concieve. It was more hubby than me. But I am glad it worked the way it did, we had a great time traveling and just being the two of us. Now we have a 18 year old who''s in college and a 16 1/2 year old. Teenagers are such fun, but can make ya go crazy too!!!! I love all their stories, hear just about everything. Sometimes I am like did you really have to share THAT with me??
But it''s all good. I''d rather be in the loop, than out of it.
 

diamondfan

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 17, 2005
Messages
11,016
I also had the baby jones from way back, we got married when I was 24 in August of 1990 and I had my first in November of 1992, had my middle son in 1995 and my last son in 2001. I wanted to be a mommy from when I was a little girl. It is worth it but tough. Kaleigh, I can so relate, my 14 tells me so much, definitely TMI sometimes, but better that than not, since most of my friends do not know the stuff my son tells me about and I am the go to gal for information in his group of friends...but boy, there is a lot of info for this old mom to digest!
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
Its funny... I REALLY uncomfortable around babies and pregnant women.

But despite the fact that we don''t not want children... the 2-6 year olds make me... clucky. gooyey. I think it must be true about hte self defense mechinism.. that we are hormonally keyed to CLUCK... because otherwise the little terrors wouldn''t stand a chance.
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Jan 11, 2006
Messages
55,631
I certainly believe it is msotly an innate thing. Until fairly recently, when you consider most of history, young women married in their teens and began having babies right away. I mean, we are biologically ABLE to have babies in our early teens! So the situation this century of women having careers and delaying childbirth until age 30 or later (because of the availability of birth control) is pretty unnatural compared to the thousands of years prior. So no, I do not think your desire is unusual at all, Ebree! I think it is pretty normal. I do think the desire to postpone children in the last 30 years or so has been due to the affluence of our society and the desire for material and personal career goals to be gained first. And of course, it''s nice to be free to decide when the time is right.
 

colorkitty

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 28, 2006
Messages
220
Oh, I was there. Right before my wedding and for the first year after I was baby-obsessed. I got married at 23. My husband was 5 years older than me, and I could not understand why he wasn''t ready for a baby yet, and this caused a lot of stress in our new marriage. My body was screaming at me. I cried whenever someone else got pregnant, especially if they were married for less time than me, because it almost felt like a personal slight. It was not a rational time in my life, and those were not rational feelings. About a year into the marriage, the feelings went away, and I''m 150% positive that I don''t want kids ever. I''m so glad my husband made me wait. And from what I hear from my friends, it''s not uncommon at all to be obsessed right around the time of the wedding, nor is it uncommon for the urgency to fade after a while.

It''s been a very, very complicated issue in our marriage, and I hope it goes much better for you! Whatever you do, I''m sure it''ll be great.
 

ljmorgan

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 5, 2006
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1,037
I know that for a lot of ladies, cluckiness can hit pretty much as soon as the wedding over, because we''re thinking "OK I''m done planning the wedding... now what do I plan for a family?" so that''s a given. My husband and I know that we''d like to have children for sure, but luckily cluckiness has not hit me yet! I''m 23 years old, hubby is 25. I think we may be ready when I''m 25-27. We have both talked about that time frame. Originally I had said we should start as soon as I turn 25, but that''s next October and seems too soon! But really you never know when the cluckiness will hit, so it could be then too
 

stretch4

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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4,360
After watching my best friend raise my god-daughter for the last seven years, I am sooooo not jumping on motherhood anytime soon
DH and I enjoy our freedom and already feel a bit constrained by our kitty LOL. So for right now, we''re extremely happy just being parents to a bouncing boy kitty
Though we will be expanding our family soon, with a horse that is
hehe
 

Kaleigh

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Joined
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Date: 2/2/2007 4:29:15 PM
Author: Rascal49
After watching my best friend raise my god-daughter for the last seven years, I am sooooo not jumping on motherhood anytime soon
DH and I enjoy our freedom and already feel a bit constrained by our kitty LOL. So for right now, we''re extremely happy just being parents to a bouncing boy kitty
Though we will be expanding our family soon, with a horse that is
hehe
Awww, you''re getting a horse?? How fun!!! What kind??? I miss riding.
 

FacetFire

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Date: 2/1/2007 7:53:12 PM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*
I''m def in the minority here, but I have NO desire whatsoever to have children...no cluck clucking for me. While I do want to have a family I don''t feel the slightest inclination towards desiring children or babies. To be honest when I see children just out period I think ''oh no.'' Except for one of my coworkers daughters who has the cutest side bangs and fashion sense (she plans her own outfits at 4!).

Maybe I''m missing the mommy gene. I prefer dogs at this point


FI and I do want a family, eventually,
but not till we''re in our early to mid 30''s (thinking 32-35ish). We''re 26 and 25 now (will be 27 and 26 when married). Some of it has to do with him being in school...his PhD program will be 5 years MINIMUM (pharmacology).

Almost none of my friends want kids until they''re in their 30''s, and most of us are in relationships, engaged or newlyweds. Alot of them are extremely career driven, or some just want to ''have fun'' (although we do lose the perks of being young when the babies are grown up) and a good amount are in graduate school. We''ll prob all be preggers at 35, but I only know of one couple who is getting married in June who wants kids before 30. I can''t think of anyone else in my and FI''s circles of friends who are interested in children any time soon. I don''t know if demographics plays a role, but we''re from Boston.

I was actually talking to a guy at work about this, about how I didn''t even feel ''maternal'' or ''mature'' enough for children. He said it changes when you decide you WANT children, then you become maternal and mature enough. Maybe you just become ready at a certain point. I know it''ll happen for me, I just don''t see it for a long time.
We must be the same person. :)

That describes my feelings exactly. We have two dogs...that''s enough for me right now. We''re 26 and 27, but no desire for kids anytime soon. Not that I don''t want them ever...but not till 30 at least. I''m hoping the cluckiness kicks in at some point, though. If we still feel like this at 35, we probably won''t end up with any children. It''s weird though, I''m a VERY caretaking-type person. I treat my dogs like children...and love them like children. TO me, they almost are children. Maybe that''s why I lack the desire? I dont'' know...
 

Dandi

Ideal_Rock
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Date: 2/2/2007 5:13:27 PM
Author: FacetFire

Date: 2/1/2007 7:53:12 PM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*
I''m def in the minority here, but I have NO desire whatsoever to have children...no cluck clucking for me. While I do want to have a family I don''t feel the slightest inclination towards desiring children or babies. To be honest when I see children just out period I think ''oh no.'' Except for one of my coworkers daughters who has the cutest side bangs and fashion sense (she plans her own outfits at 4!).

Maybe I''m missing the mommy gene. I prefer dogs at this point


FI and I do want a family, eventually,
but not till we''re in our early to mid 30''s (thinking 32-35ish). We''re 26 and 25 now (will be 27 and 26 when married). Some of it has to do with him being in school...his PhD program will be 5 years MINIMUM (pharmacology).

Almost none of my friends want kids until they''re in their 30''s, and most of us are in relationships, engaged or newlyweds. Alot of them are extremely career driven, or some just want to ''have fun'' (although we do lose the perks of being young when the babies are grown up) and a good amount are in graduate school. We''ll prob all be preggers at 35, but I only know of one couple who is getting married in June who wants kids before 30. I can''t think of anyone else in my and FI''s circles of friends who are interested in children any time soon. I don''t know if demographics plays a role, but we''re from Boston.

I was actually talking to a guy at work about this, about how I didn''t even feel ''maternal'' or ''mature'' enough for children. He said it changes when you decide you WANT children, then you become maternal and mature enough. Maybe you just become ready at a certain point. I know it''ll happen for me, I just don''t see it for a long time.
We must be the same person. :)

That describes my feelings exactly. We have two dogs...that''s enough for me right now. We''re 26 and 27, but no desire for kids anytime soon. Not that I don''t want them ever...but not till 30 at least. I''m hoping the cluckiness kicks in at some point, though. If we still feel like this at 35, we probably won''t end up with any children. It''s weird though, I''m a VERY caretaking-type person. I treat my dogs like children...and love them like children. TO me, they almost are children. Maybe that''s why I lack the desire? I dont'' know...
I''m so like you ladies! My girls (my dogs) are my babies and (much to many people''s disgust
) I treat them like that! I''m a nurse so I guess the whole nurturing/caring thing is a bit inbuilt, and I do love kids and little soft babies'' bottoms etc etc, but same here... NO desire whatsoever to have one (yet)! My FI is seven years older than me, and HE''S the one in the relationship doing all the clucking, I tells ya! Quite happy just being the two (well, four if you count the girls
) of us for many years to come! Still want to finish the house and pay it off, travel, climb the hierachy at work, etc etc...
 

justjulia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2006
Messages
2,308
I understand totally. My husband and I did not want children when we talked during dating. We had a wonderful time for 4 years or so as newlyweds. Then all of a sudden it was the right time. Now my babies are 18 and 14 and I am finding that I love teenagers. Every stage is wonderful, but I found that it just gets better and better. Oh, and we started out with a dog, and added. Now we refer to our dogs as grandchildren, lol.
 

firebirdgold

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2005
Messages
2,216
The lack of cluckiness is actually starting to worry me just a bit. I''ll be turning 35 this summer, and nada!

I wonder if exposure to pregnant women and newborn babies enhances the clucky feeling? Sort of like how women who live together adjust to being on the same monthly schedule? The only time I''ve felt even a tiny bit gooey was when I held a week old baby girl. Otherwise, I just find children annoying.

I too am a happy dog mom. Although I''m not a very good dog mom. He needs more walkies and less cookies as he looks like a ottoman!
 

Kit

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
501
Indie,

Me too. I''m almost getting a little worried at my lack of cluckiness. I am 30, will be 31 when we get married, and have NO desire to have a baby. My sister just had a baby and while I adore my little precious niece, I am also scared to death of pregnancy and childbirth and basically pushing every aspect of your life aside for months and months to devote all your time and energy to caring for your newborn....ugh. Not appealing! At this point my sister barely has time to eat or shower. Doesn''t sound fun to me.

FI and I like the "idea" of having kids but when you get right down to it, we are just not ready. And yet, tick tock tick tock...
 
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