Elliot86... thank you for asking that question....
it is one that i have had been thinking about for some time and it was only this morning that i came up with that statement/sentiment.
I am expressing my opinion and i know some may or may not agree. I respect that.
We are not religious ppl but we enjoy the holidays that it brings....Christmas for us is a special time of bonding with family (and friends).
My SO and I do not exchange gifts at xmas. we never have for a long time now. we only have one gift a year and it is usually on our birthdays as we make the birthdays more important than xmas...... but if i am being totally honest, we usually get what we want when we need it= cologne, moisturisers, special home decor pieces, a jewelry piece here and there etc... because we are adults who work pretty damn hard and make a good living. We are relatively good planners and savers.
We are fortunate to have our 2 young children (4.75yo and 2.25yo). We are truly lucky that they are in most, well behaved children. i believe that xmas is more about them than it is about us. We have made a rule of only ever give them one gift each at xmas. despite having stipulated "one gift per child from each family", i do not think that this year will be any different from my in laws. They love them so much that they ignore that request. I cannot stop it from happening as i also see the love and joy that they have when they gift it to our children. They are not on struggle street and are fortunate enough to provide these gifts and love to our children.
Due to the abundance of presents, we ration the gifts throughout the year. they open all their presents. we set aside a random figure of 2 a month till the presents have been given out. all the while reminding them how lucky they are to have what they have..
to answer your question about me giving presence during this time of year or this year.. well, i like to think that i am giving presence everyday... being present in the here and now... but i know that is not always the case. there is work/ chores that need to be done..given that emails are retrievable on smart phones, it makes it harder to escape work or social media. We both work full time and chores still have to be done.
we are forever grateful for who we have in our lives.. our parents are getting older and their ailments longer. So, we cherish their time when we are with them. Our kids give us no end of pleasure but also no end of critical thinking of how we can raise them better. we like to think that we are raising them as best as we can.
My brother's and sister's families have children not to dissimilar in age. We connect with my brother's family more as the cousins attend chinese school on saturdays and get baby sat by my parents on similar days during the week.
Yes, we do what we can to make our childrens' lives as enriched as we possibly can: being patient and being in the moment with them as we are in their universe. it is not easy to do at times...and wouldnt have it any other way.....
I love this! The best present really is just having that time with family. It's always a shame to see people driving themselves into debt for stuff that will be forgotten in a month. My favorite thing at Christmas is family time. We all live far away from each other and can't hang out the way we want. So we usually meet in the city, book a room or two at a semi fancy hotel, and spend 4 days playing cards, going sight seeing, and watching old movies. Maybe a few gifts exchanged but otherwise just goofing around and being together. Especially now that my niece is in the picture, it's a reminder that the holidays are about just appreciating family, whether it was the one you were born into or the one you created!
Kids can be a real blessing. Both of my kids have expressed that they are looking forward to most for Christmas, is me being home with them. The youngest keeps asking which days I'll be home (they get more time off than I do), and when are we going to make the cookies. She also volunteered to help wrap her older sister's presents , though my oldest wants it to be a complete surprise and so has vetoed that idea. I am also very appreciative that all of the parents (2 sets of grandparents) are still here with us and in relative good health.
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