Christmas Gift Dilemma

[lehcarm]

I''m relatively new to the board, but I would like to get your opinion about a problem that I have.

I am a very hard person to buy gift for. If I really need something or want something (in reason) I will just go out and buy it. This drives BF crazy because it doesn''t leave him with many ideas for gifts. For every occasion, he completely stresses out about what to get me. Every idea that he seems to come up with, I seem to have a problem with. For example, once he wanted to get me a gift certificate to get a massage. I''m not really the massage getting type of girl, so I told him that I thought the money would be better spent on something else. It has gotten to the point where I feel horrible because I keep shooting down his ideas, and he feels horrible for not being able come up with anything. Last year I almost told him not to even bother with getting me anything because it was just too stressful.

This year is no different. Yesterday he told me that he still didn''t have any ideas for me, and asked that I come up with something. He doesn''t want to get me clothes or shoes. I don''t need any gadgets (I love them, but there aren''t any that I really need). He isn''t big on jewelry because he got me a sapphire ring for my birthday, and our budget is between $100-$150.

On the other hand, he is really easy to shop for. I''m not sure if the problem is that I am just too picky and hard to please, or if he just has a hard time picking things out.

I''m worried that this will come across as silly and lame, but it really is a problem. I was hoping that some of you may have experienced something similar or would have and ideas for me.

 

[anchor31]

Well, I''m a practical girl. I bought FI some luggage for Christmas for his business trip, and he gave me a webcam so we can talk when he''s gone on the business trip. To my parents and siblings, I''ve asked for small kitchen appliances we''ll need next summer when we''ll move in together that we can''t wait until the wedding (1 year later) to have.

My family''s lists contain things like skates, CDs and DVDs, an iPod shuffle, a digital camera, kitchen stuff, books, jewellery (my mom LOVES earrings - maybe I should get her a pair of ready-set go .25ctw diamond studs from WF for Christmas...), dad asked for a ton of tools...

I hope I''ve given you ideas! There must be something you''d love to have... Maybe a couples of facials or massages? A spa weekend?

 

[lehcarm]

Thanks for all those ideas anchor! I do love kitchen stuff, maybe I''ll ask for something like that. Part of the problem is BF doesn''t like to just buy "stuff." Which kind of stinks, because I personally love "stuff."

 

[anchor31]

If you love "stuff", then I think that your man should forget what he "likes to buy" and give you "stuff"!

Okay, now I need to get back to my genetics books... Ugh.

 

[lehcarm]

Date: 12/14/2006 1:37:09 PM
Author: anchor31



Okay, now I need to get back to my genetics books... Ugh.

It funny you are reading a genetics book, I''m reading plant physiology, genetics is next.

 

[cairns]

My fiance and I have the same problem. We use the amazon.com wish list. Amazon carries just about everything in the world, so I just make sure there are always a couple of things on my list and he does the same. Maybe it will work for you also.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 12/14/2006 1:39:32 PM
Author: lehcarm

Date: 12/14/2006 1:37:09 PM
Author: anchor31



Okay, now I need to get back to my genetics books... Ugh.

It funny you are reading a genetics book, I''m reading plant physiology, genetics is next.

Haha... I''m not just reading the books, I''m studying for tomorrow''s final. Or at least I should be...

 

[goldenstar]

Its not a silly or lame problem. I can see how it would be stressful and its important to find a resolution because it will come up everytime there is a gift giving occasion.

We just ask each other what the other wants for bdays or other holidays. It saves us the trouble of disappointing the other person with a gift thats not really "them". Some people are really hung up on wanting the other person to use their heads to pick something thoughtful, but if thats not important to you then just tell each other what you like or need. Even though there''s no element of surprise, its still exciting to recieve something that you''ve been wanting for a while. We''ve been together for almost 3 years, and we know each other''s taste and interests but still can''t figure out what the other wants at any given time. It kinda changes depending on what we''re in the mood for.

Ideally, I think your BF should not be so focused on what HE likes to buy, and think about YOU since its your gift. My BF didn''t think I needed another pair of nice sunglasses for my bday, but he got them because thats what I really wanted and we were both happy. BF wanted a watch for his bday, showed me which one, I got it and now he loves it. Simple as that. For us at least.

 

[lehcarm]

Date: 12/14/2006 3:56:35 PM
Author: anchor31

Date: 12/14/2006 1:39:32 PM

Author: lehcarm

Date: 12/14/2006 1:37:09 PM

Author: anchor31




Okay, now I need to get back to my genetics books... Ugh.

It funny you are reading a genetics book, I''m reading plant physiology, genetics is next.

Haha... I''m not just reading the books, I''m studying for tomorrow''s final. Or at least I should be...

Good luck on your final!

 

[lehcarm]

cairns, I like your idea about the amazon.com wish list. That way I could have a bunch of things on it, and he could pick, so at least it would sort of a surprise.

Golden Star, You''re right, I need to just come up with some things, it might not be as romantic if I know what I am getting, but it will relieve the stress.

Thanks everyone for your help, now I just need to come up with some specific ideas to give him!

 

[Scooba]

I am super picky and hard to please. For xmas and birthdays and other gift giving occassions, my FI usually just takes me shopping and lets me buy whatever I want until he says his wallet has had enough, sometimes he gets me gift cards or takes me on a trip, one time I picked out a diamond tennis bracelet and watch and he bought those for me for xmas...this just works better for us because even if he picks something I like I usually just take it back and get something I want even more

 

[simplysplendid]

I told my hubby "when in doubt, always get jewelry".. ha ha

How about telling each other what you want? Alternatively, how about just enjoying what he got you? (eg: the massage whether you are a massage type or not?)

 

[stags14]

Date: 12/14/2006 12:58:29 PM
Author:lehcarm
I''m not sure if the problem is that I am just too picky and hard to please, or if he just has a hard time picking things out.

Bingo.

 

[stags14]

I just don''t see how anyone can be dissapointed with a gift given by a loved one???????? It is truly selfish and sad to be that way.

 

[stags14]

Date: 12/16/2006 8:34:36 PM
Author: Diamonds are Hot!
I am super picky and hard to please. For xmas and birthdays and other gift giving occassions, my FI usually just takes me shopping and lets me buy whatever I want until he says his wallet has had enough, sometimes he gets me gift cards or takes me on a trip, one time I picked out a diamond tennis bracelet and watch and he bought those for me for xmas...this just works better for us because even if he picks something I like I usually just take it back and get something I want even more

Lucky guy.

 

[ladykemma]

what we do- we prepare paper lists, internet wish lists, amazon.com wishlists, DVD wishlists, catalog wishlists. and then we give them to each other, saying, "here are some gift ideas". men are not good at reading our minds.

i too am picky, about cooking equipment and pearls. I''m pretty easy about everything else. I do hate to see money wasted on a gift that goes to the goodwill charity at the end of the year.

 

[lehcarm]

Thanks for all your help everyone. Yesterday my BF told me that he knew what he was going to get me, and that he just needed to go pick it up! I''m so glad it wan''t stressful again this year. It was nice to know that other people have had similar issues too. Thanks again.