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- Feb 22, 2009
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My fifth-grade son's Living Wax Museum was last night and the entire event has been weighing heavy on my mind since I have left. This was the large project of the year where each child was to choose a historical figure. Then they were to write a six page written report and give an oral report in costume. After that, they were to paint a six-foot background and write and memorize two sets of lines (30 seconds each) for a living wax museum where they were the characters they had chosen. People come to the museum, drop coins in a container, and the kids come to life and say one set of their lines.
Ok, that was probably way too much information, but...
This was a large project, where I felt all along that it required quite a bit of parental involvement, rather than allowing the child to use his own resources. For instance, my child can't drive himself to a thrift store (or other type of store) for his costume. He can't go to hobby lobby on his own for supplies for the background. Teachers had us proofread all documents. What if my writing skills are terrible? And they are!
Don't get me wrong, I actually LOVE being there for my son. I opted to enroll him in a school that requires 36 hours per year of parent volunteer hours. I'm not a deadbeat parent. I check his homework at night, make sure he is on top of his academics, etc. I'm not trying to cop-out. I just believe that sooner or later, kids should BEGIN to learn to rely on themselves with larger projects.
My son had four weeks to complete the six food background. I helped him by keeping him on a schedule. I felt that was the way I could be most valuable as a parent. We planned his schedule on when he would settle on a design, what days he would draw each item, and when he would paint each piece of the background. When completed, it wasn't perfect, but it was good for the fact that it had been done by a 10-year-old, as all the rest would be! Or so I thought.
We get to the museum last night and MOST of the backgrounds last night had clearly been done by the parents. If not just outright done by the parents, more than 50% of the background was done by the parent and the kid might have colored it in. I was shocked. I walked through the aisles and over and over again, there were very sophisticated backgrounds, all done by parents. Just a handful looked as though they had genuinely been done by the children.
This leaves me filled with questions..
Is this what we are doing nowadays? Are we doing our children's work for them? If so, why? I have older kids and I didn't do this for them. I wonder if I missed something. I am tempted to approach his teacher and say something about the fact that my son did his background all by himself and "did I miss something where parents were to help with drawing and painting?" It's a passive-aggressive move, but I worry that my son will get a terrible grade because their perspective will be so skewed by these parent assisted backgrounds. But if I am being honest, there is no way my son's background can even compete with what I saw.
I have really felt bombarded by all of the blog posts about how the new generation of parents are ruining their children by spoiling them, but I feel as though I came face to face with a glaring example of that behavior last night. What next? Am I to write my son's next report for him to ensure that he gets a good grade? Should I take his Science test for him?
Do you think I should say something to his teacher? Should I just keep my thoughts to myself?
Ok, that was probably way too much information, but...
This was a large project, where I felt all along that it required quite a bit of parental involvement, rather than allowing the child to use his own resources. For instance, my child can't drive himself to a thrift store (or other type of store) for his costume. He can't go to hobby lobby on his own for supplies for the background. Teachers had us proofread all documents. What if my writing skills are terrible? And they are!
Don't get me wrong, I actually LOVE being there for my son. I opted to enroll him in a school that requires 36 hours per year of parent volunteer hours. I'm not a deadbeat parent. I check his homework at night, make sure he is on top of his academics, etc. I'm not trying to cop-out. I just believe that sooner or later, kids should BEGIN to learn to rely on themselves with larger projects.
My son had four weeks to complete the six food background. I helped him by keeping him on a schedule. I felt that was the way I could be most valuable as a parent. We planned his schedule on when he would settle on a design, what days he would draw each item, and when he would paint each piece of the background. When completed, it wasn't perfect, but it was good for the fact that it had been done by a 10-year-old, as all the rest would be! Or so I thought.
We get to the museum last night and MOST of the backgrounds last night had clearly been done by the parents. If not just outright done by the parents, more than 50% of the background was done by the parent and the kid might have colored it in. I was shocked. I walked through the aisles and over and over again, there were very sophisticated backgrounds, all done by parents. Just a handful looked as though they had genuinely been done by the children.
This leaves me filled with questions..
Is this what we are doing nowadays? Are we doing our children's work for them? If so, why? I have older kids and I didn't do this for them. I wonder if I missed something. I am tempted to approach his teacher and say something about the fact that my son did his background all by himself and "did I miss something where parents were to help with drawing and painting?" It's a passive-aggressive move, but I worry that my son will get a terrible grade because their perspective will be so skewed by these parent assisted backgrounds. But if I am being honest, there is no way my son's background can even compete with what I saw.
I have really felt bombarded by all of the blog posts about how the new generation of parents are ruining their children by spoiling them, but I feel as though I came face to face with a glaring example of that behavior last night. What next? Am I to write my son's next report for him to ensure that he gets a good grade? Should I take his Science test for him?
Do you think I should say something to his teacher? Should I just keep my thoughts to myself?