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aktotx

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2007
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20
I need help. Trying to figure out how to word it that only children of immediate family are welcome at the wedding and reception. And would I put it on the reception cards or part of the invite? Reason I am asking is because we have a few friends that have a lot of kids (5-7) and they are Brats with a capital B. I have 4 of my own children and if they acted like some of these they would always be against the wall in time out. I just don''t want to make people mad but for my sanitiy I don''t want a ton of kids running around and getting fussy. I hope this made sense.

Thanks
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
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31,003
honestly i would say ''adult only reception'' on the cards, and then verbally tell your immediate family members who have kids that their kids are welcome (esp if they are in the wedding!). it''s your wedding, do what you want...if anyone says something to you about it at the reception then just say that you wanted to include immediate family children only. i don''t think there is anything wrong with that. my friend is saying adult only on her invites, but there are 4 kids in the wedding party and they are coming to the reception.
 

luckystar112

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2007
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3,962
Will your chuch/wherever you're having the ceremony have a seperate area where kids can go?

I attended my brothers wedding, and there was a baby there that SCREAMED during the whole ceremony. It was not fun. But it gave me the idea that when I have MY wedding I will set aside an extra room specifically for kids. I plan on providing coloring books/crayons and other goodies to keep them occupied while we exchange vows. That way, when everything is finished the kids can still come to the reception, where things will obviously be more relaxed.

There are a lot of children in my family as well as my boyfriend's family, so I don't want to leave anyone out. This could be a good option for you too if you're worried about what people will think...
 

E B

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
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9,488
Date: 2/17/2007 8:38:42 PM
Author: luckystar112

I attended my brothers wedding, and there was a baby there that SCREAMED during the whole ceremony. It was not fun. But it gave me the idea that when I have MY wedding I will set aside an extra room specifically for kids. I plan on providing coloring books/crayons and other goodies to keep them occupied while we exchange vows. That way, when everything is finished the kids can still come to the reception, where things will obviously be more relaxed.
This is what I was going to suggest. I don''t mind kids at my wedding, but if I did, I''d try to hire a babysitter or two to watch them in another room and supply some coloring books and toys. I know the parents of the children coming to my wedding would appreciate it a lot more than having to find individual sitters, especially since two will have babies and probably won''t be comfortable leaving them at home. That being said, it''s your wedding and I think putting ''adult only reception'' is fine as well.
 

ImpatientOne

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 19, 2006
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1,394
When I got married before, I hired a clown to come entertain the kids! It was perfect and kept them busy for a couple of hours!
 

upgrading mama

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2005
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1,826
I think her request is for the reception, not the ceremony....

We put "adult reception to follow" which many many people do here so that is no shocker. But for our families, we put Mr. and Mrs. so and so and Familiy" to indicate the kids were invited.


I think that the clown idea is fantastic, but again, you would need some separate area for that to happen at your reception too..
 

sumbride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
Messages
3,867
I read somewhere that a bride wanted to invite the children in her family but not anybody else''s and her wording was something like:
"Due to space constraints, children are by invitation only." or something like that. While people should figure that out themselves, they may not. If you put "Adult Reception only", people may be surprised to see your children there, but if you''re not having any children there, than of course it makes sense.
 

plantationcatt

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 12, 2005
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270
For those who follow Emily Post: Nothing should be said about children on the invitation. They will know who in their family is invited based on the names you write on the invitation. For example, If you have Mr. and Mrs. White & they have three kids...you only write Mr. & Mrs. White on the inner invitation envelope (Or whatever your invitation allows).

We are only inviting children of immediate family; and of those only those over 10 will be seated in the sanctuary during the ceremony. We are hiring a babysitter to entertain the others. The family members to whom this applies have been called, and they are looking foward to not having to mind them in the pews.

Mind you, there will probably be some people that will respond and have written in their uninvited kids on the response card...or call you and ask if they can bring them. Just politely tell them you have chosen to have only children from the immediate family...that the venue can only have so many numbers...or something.

Good luck!
 

aljdewey

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
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9,143
Date: 2/19/2007 9:49:24 AM
Author: plantationcatt

For those who follow Emily Post: Nothing should be said about children on the invitation. They will know who in their family is invited based on the names you write on the invitation.
HAHAHHA - Emily Post operated in a different era than most folks of today, unfortunately.

Most folks *should* know, but today, they either don''t know or they are too busy trying to get what would be convenient for themselves.

I''d go the more direct route myself - lol
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
Date: 2/19/2007 2:07:48 PM
Author: aljdewey

Date: 2/19/2007 9:49:24 AM
Author: plantationcatt

For those who follow Emily Post: Nothing should be said about children on the invitation. They will know who in their family is invited based on the names you write on the invitation.
HAHAHHA - Emily Post operated in a different era than most folks of today, unfortunately.

Most folks *should* know, but today, they either don''t know or they are too busy trying to get what would be convenient for themselves.

I''d go the more direct route myself - lol

Ditto.

Should know is a fantasy... people interpret things exactly as they want to... unless you make it obvious to them what you want.

I would put adult only reception on the invitation. Not even bother with the ''children by invitation only'' it will only cofuse people and result in a ton of phone calls.
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
i agree. no matter what the invite address says, people will do what they want. i had an adult only ceremony and reception. how i handled it? the few friends/guests with kids i verbally addressed it to them personally. since you mentioned it''s your friends with the kids, would you be able to bring it up when you chat with them?
 

tanyak

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2005
Messages
209
Date: 2/19/2007 3:00:24 PM
Author: Gypsy


Should know is a fantasy... people interpret things exactly as they want to... unless you make it obvious to them what you want.

I would put adult only reception on the invitation. Not even bother with the 'children by invitation only' it will only cofuse people and result in a ton of phone calls.
I agree. I have seen people on other boards flatly say they would bring their kids even if they invite was only addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smith.

My own wedding was adult only, although I ended up with three kids there - my new 10-year-old niece who flew across the country with her parents, and the toddler-age children of my first cousins, both single moms who drove five hours to attend.

You'll find that most people are happy to have a child-free evening, although there are always one or two who want to take their kid EVERYWHERE. And it gets more difficult if the guests are OOT, but local guests who can easily get a sitter for five hours need to shut it.


Just put adult reception on the invite and then talk to the other people who can indeed bring their kids.
 

aktotx

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2007
Messages
20
Thank you all for your input. We have decided to have it on the reception card that this is adult only. We know some people won''t read it or really care but will also mention it to them. There will be kids there no matter what as I said I have 4 and on my side of the family is 7 more that are under 13 and his there will be 8. All of these people are traveling over 600 miles to come and we are not going to deny family in anyway. It is mostly 2 familys that we are concerned with as both have overlly active kids who don''t listen and I have a feeling if those kids show up there will either be tables on fire from candles or the cake tipped over to just watch what would happen.
 
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