CHECK/CASH for engagement ring?

[surfgirl]

Date: 10/12/2007 12:41:29 PM
Author: golden

Date: 10/12/2007 11:15:01 AM

Author: surfgirl

Date: 10/11/2007 5:00:19 PM

Author: golden

And as I sit here thinking about this post, I think ... ''I just want a ring I really like'' hahaha and.... ''if he is willing the buy me the ring I choose, then what is the big deal whether or not there is a whole to do proposal because he must care if he is buying me what I want'' OH MAN!

Thanks for writing what I was going to write anyway! Look, he''s made it clear he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. He''s willing to let you choose the ring YOU want to wear the rest of your life. Maybe he thinks you''d like to shop alone or with a friend to narrow it down. Men dont LOVE shopping for a tiny little piece of rubble that costs them more than a car. It doesn''t make sense to most of them. If you want him to go with you, just ask him, I''m sure he''d say yes. As for the proposal, people, IMO make WAY too much of that. The guy''s willing to buy you a ring you love, I say dont put so much pressure on him to create this fairy tale proposal - that''s something in your head, not his. It''s not his duty to create this outrageous proposal just to ask you to marry him again (I presume you''ve discussed it and you both know you''re going to get married so that initial discussion has already occurred and a lot of guys think that should be enough). Go find a ring you love and be happy you have the luxury of being able to choose such a frivolous expression of love. A lot of people dont even have enough basic food to eat each day. I''m just say''in...

Actually, we have not talked about getting engaged, we just happened to get into this conversation and so I am sure this is what he would do. And to be very honest...I would love to do the initial ring shopping with my mom!

Sorry but now I''M confused! If you haven''t even discussed getting engaged why are we talking about this? I''m confused...

 

[golden]

Date: 10/12/2007 12:57:49 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Pick out the stone and setting. Give him all the details in writing. Then tell him how much it means to you that he wants you to have what you really want. But you want to be surprised when he actually gives it to you, so he needs to go buy it. If you read enough on PS, you will know that we recommend getting the diamond (and setting when possible) from an online vendor with an excellent reputation because you''ll get higher quality at a better price. But it''s always a good idea to go look locally to get an idea of what size and shape stone you want, the color, the style of setting, etc. Just don''t let them lure you in to buying!

I really like name brands (handbags and shoes), but I have learned from this site (thank you!) and I would never buy a ring from a "name" when I can have the same thing for either less money or a bigger stone.

But I personally feel, doing the ring shopping before I were asked, would ruin the surprise (and this is because we have not spoken about getting engaged yet) so really, I have not and am not expecting it. I really would have NO problem with him asking without the ring, I would prefer to be asked before the ring shopping. Is that crazy? hahaha

 

[gontama]

My apology to golden, the original poster. When I replied to this thread, I thought you know nothing about diamonds and/or rings, and misunderstood that you were asking for general opinion. Now I stand corrected. You have been a member here for a while, and you know what you want to do and how. In any case, I wish you the best.

And my apology to all if I did sound offensive. I am afraid I sent a totally different message from what I intended. I (and may be many other men) do not have to feel I did everything. I rather wanted to stay away from everything and wanted her to choose what she wants. It is because I was so asked by my wife that I decided to do everything. I mean I had to do this because she cannot.

I was very often asked to go shopping with her spending several hours. She then realized that she cannot choose herself and I could not allocate time for shopping any more. She then wanted me find a diamond that she likes and give my endorsement for the ring she chooses from durability point of view etc. I was also convinced that named brands are not necessarily the best when I was shown a not-so-good grading report of the diamond one brand carry. It was too risky to let her choose such an expensive luxury item without sufficient knowledge.

I had to test her color tolerance to balance the size and color, cut quality being the same. She made conscious choice between different cut styles after I explained potential difference in appearance which she did see. I ended up spending much more than I initially planned. Because … I wanted her to be happy with the size and appearance she likes.

Ladies who are members here can pick up nice pieces with their knowledge. Some may not even want / need partner’s financial involvement if they really like jewelries themselves. But there are women, my wife included, who are not good at technical aspects. But she is no less than others in appreciation of the beauty of the diamonds. Just does not know why. This was my gift and respect for my wife who works hard to save money for the future despite her health problem.

I know there many people stave to die, and many people kill themselves because of financial burden. Should we (me and wife) spend this much money for diamond rings? Should we save this money for future? With this amount of money, how many people could be saved? Are we (me and wife) so great? This is a question I still do not have an answer for…

 

[golden]

Date: 10/12/2007 3:14:57 PM
Author: gontama

My apology to golden, the original poster. When I replied to this thread, I thought you know nothing about diamonds and/or rings, and misunderstood that you were asking for general opinion. Now I stand corrected. You have been a member here for a while, and you know what you want to do and how. In any case, I wish you the best.

And my apology to all if I did sound offensive. I am afraid I sent a totally different message from what I intended. I (and may be many other men) do not have to feel I did everything. I rather wanted to stay away from everything and wanted her to choose what she wants. It is because I was so asked by my wife that I decided to do everything. I mean I had to do this because she cannot.

I was very often asked to go shopping with her spending several hours. She then realized that she cannot choose herself and I could not allocate time for shopping any more. She then wanted me find a diamond that she likes and give my endorsement for the ring she chooses from durability point of view etc. I was also convinced that named brands are not necessarily the best when I was shown a not-so-good grading report of the diamond one brand carry. It was too risky to let her choose such an expensive luxury item without sufficient knowledge.

I had to test her color tolerance to balance the size and color, cut quality being the same. She made conscious choice between different cut styles after I explained potential difference in appearance which she did see. I ended up spending much more than I initially planned. Because … I wanted her to be happy with the size and appearance she likes.

Ladies who are members here can pick up nice pieces with their knowledge. Some may not even want / need partner’s financial involvement if they really like jewelries themselves. But there are women, my wife included, who are not good at technical aspects. But she is no less than others in appreciation of the beauty of the diamonds. Just does not know why. This was my gift and respect for my wife who works hard to save money for the future despite her health problem.

I know there many people stave to die, and many people kill themselves because of financial burden. Should we (me and wife) spend this much money for diamond rings? Should we save this money for future? With this amount of money, how many people could be saved? Are we (me and wife) so great? This is a question I still do not have an answer for…

You don''t have to apologize at all. I think your previous post was very informative

 

[jayreneepea]

Date: 10/10/2007 8:44:43 PM
Author:golden
Quick question for everyone....

If your boyfriend had given you a check or cash and said you can go pick out your engagement ring, what would you think?

I''d be in hog heaven!! And acutally that is about how we did it. My dh proposed over a candlelite dinner WITHOUT a ring in hand. It was very romantic and a moment I will remember forever. Anyway, the next morning we were standing outside the jewelry mart with checkbook in hand ring shopping. I picked -- he payed. That was in 1994. Today, I imagine I would do most of the research online by myself, but I would expect him to come with me to view rings/diamonds in person.

 

[Sharon101]

I personally dont think it matters who picks out the diamond as long as both people are happy. I personally dont buy into the romance of it...to me its just jewellery and the proposal is seperate. Mind you when I was in my early 20`s I probably put more value into the diamond = romance and love equation. These days I know its just a thing that you buy with money!!! Although its a very nice thing at that!!!!!

 

[blingergrrrl]

Date: 10/13/2007 2:05:52 AM
Author: Sharon101
I personally dont think it matters who picks out the diamond as long as both people are happy. I personally dont buy into the romance of it...to me its just jewellery and the proposal is seperate. Mind you when I was in my early 20`s I probably put more value into the diamond = romance and love equation. These days I know its just a thing that you buy with money!!! Although its a very nice thing at that!!!!!

hmm, I agree with the above. I wouldn''t mind doing all the shopping and picking it out by myself (I would also love it if he wanted to be involved). BUT, I would expect him to put all his creative energy into the proposal. To me, ring=symbol to say "Taken", proposal=I love you so much I want to spend the rest of my life with you. To me, the proposal is more important!

 

[gailrmv]

I haven't read all the replies and I'm tired, but felt like commenting!
I think it totally depends on his attitude! If I were to get an upgrade ring, I would LOVE it if DH and I picked the budget together and then he let me pick it because I love researching diamonds and he does not! I'd want to make sure he liked it, but really he has minimal interest in jewelry andI have a lot and that way I could get for sure what I wanted.
However, for engagement, if he had just thrown me a wad of cash and said buy yourself a ring, I would have felt sad - like devoid of a special experience together.
My preference would be to do some shopping together, after I did a bunch of research on my own, and him make the final purchase.

 

[swom324]

All of the replies are valid answers to the OP''s question - What would you think...
In our case, I did the research and phone calls, typed in the order to Excel''s website,
then he entered the CC#. Worked for us. By the way, he had proposed over Chinese food 5 months previously, and I had to say, "Honey, I would like an engagement ring, what do you think?", to get that ball rolling. Point is, we''re happy with how it happened: the proposal was a huge surprise, and I love the ring I picked out months later.
Sherry

 

[golden]

I would just like a "special" proposal..does not have to be a big to do...but something meaningful, from the heart.

And then we can go ring shopping hahaha because I really want to have a say in the ring. Plus I think it would be really fun.