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Caution-read lone, tears are almost guartneed

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Jessie702

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If you have ever been to Las Vegas during the summer months or happened to live there, like i do, you will laugh your butt off. Youll laugh your butt off if you never been to Vegas too.....you have been warned

Dear Diary:

May 10th:
Just moved to Vegas ! Now this is a place where people know how to live. Beautiful sunny days and warm evenings. It is beautiful. I''ve finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I''m turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn''t been below 105 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least, it''s kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol'' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Fluffy (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Fluffy had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol'' Mr. Sun strikes again.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And, it''s hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $325,000 house and I can''t even go inside. Fluffy is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?
Aug. 4th:
It''s 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $1500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.
Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, ''Hot enough for you today?'' I''m going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It''s been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn''t it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing will be next, so my $2700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow away. Even the cactus can''t live in this damn heat.
Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 122 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $2,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking
Nevada. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.
 

Luckyeshe

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 8, 2009
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4,150
LMAO!!!
9.gif
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
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1,675
That had me cracking up!!!
9.gif
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
Haha... We have similar jokes in Quebec about a couple moving from France in the winter... Pretty funny!
 

oddoneout

Ideal_Rock
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That''s really funny.
 

OOHHSparkly

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 4, 2009
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46
hahaha thats great! "burnt hair, fryed ass, and baked cat" LMAO!
 

DivaDiamond007

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 7, 2007
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1,828
LOL! I''ve only visited Vegas once (10 years ago) and the whole time I kept thinking that it was too hot - even without the humidity!
 

DiamanteBlu

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 12, 2005
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2,501
ROTFL!
 

Jessie702

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 29, 2009
Messages
2,308
the funny part is that is excatly how your feel.......lol........baked cat, i love it
 
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