Cats Are Not Disposable

[missy]

I remember at the time my dh proposed to me I had 2 cats and I lived in Park Slope Brooklyn. My dh said he would live with the 2 cats (he was terribly terribly allergic to all cats and dogs) but he would not live in Brooklyn (at the time he lived on the upper east side in Manhattan). Well, fast forward to today and he has had over 8 years of allergy shots (the first few years were weekly, then every other week and now monthly) and he is doing great with all animals. The cats sleep on him and when we visit my family (who have 2 dogs and 4 cats) he has no allergy issues at all. Oh, and we also now have 4 cats up from the 2 I had when we were dating. He is as happy as a clam and is crazy in love with all our kitties. (Also, we still live in Park Slope though in a different home and he loves that too. )

Point being that even my dh- who never grew up with animals and wasn't knowledgeable in any way about animal ownership or the joy that animals can bring- still understood that animals aren't disposable and one does everything they can to make it work when they are family.

Granted it doesn't always work out as perfectly as it did for us regarding the cats but I do know people who are allergic (my dad, my sister) and still love and have animals as part of the family. Where there is a will there is a way. Usually anyway. I realize that there are some cases where even when everything is tried it still may not work but as long as a loving home is found then there can still be a happy life for the cat/dog etc. It's the people who just say oh well, nothing we can do so we have to get rid of him/her that make me

 

[Gypsy]

I'm allergic to my cats.

I LOVE it when people tell me they had to abandon their pets because of allergies (if it's a severe allergy or a baby, I'm don't do this) because then I look at them and say... I'm allergic to my cats. All five of them. And that's all I say... you get this awkward embarrassed silence from the abandoners. And I just let it go on and on... and they get more and more uncomfortable.

I frankly think people LIE about allergies. It's a medical excuse so people use it. There are MANY degrees of allergies. I get red watery itchy eyes, my nose gets stopped and if I'm not careful... I might have an asthma attack. I take Zyrtec every night and keep a Ventolin inhaler on hand along with som Benadryl. It's totally worth it to have my babies in my life.

Some people can't be bothered to be inconvenienced even a little bit. Losers.

 

[MissStepcut]

I'm allergic to my cats.

I LOVE it when people tell me they had to abandon their pets because of allergies (if it's a severe allergy or a baby, I'm don't do this) because then I look at them and say... I'm allergic to my cats. All five of them. And that's all I say... you get this awkward embarrassed silence from the abandoners. And I just let it go on and on... and they get more and more uncomfortable.

I frankly think people LIE about allergies. It's a medical excuse so people use it. There are MANY degrees of allergies. I get red watery itchy eyes, my nose gets stopped and if I'm not careful... I might have an asthma attack. I take Zyrtec every night and keep a Ventolin inhaler on hand along with som Benadryl. It's totally worth it to have my babies in my life.

Some people can't be bothered to be inconvenienced even a little bit. Losers.

That's your choice. Why are you judging someone for choosing differently? Again, assuming they're being responsible in the way they give away their pets.

And, for what it's worth, allergy medication makes me fall asleep. I know, because I use it to sleep at night and combat hives. Even the less drowsy versions put me to sleep. Obviously I haven't built up a tolerance since I use them pretty regularly, and have for a bit over a year.

Pets are not children. If you love them like family, I am glad that you have that sort of relationship with your pet. Lord knows I had relationships like that with my dogs growing up. But some people just don't feel that way or have that sort of bond with their pets. IMO it doesn't make them bad people or heartless. There's a whole spectrum of how attached people are to their animals, from the women I see around Chicago wheeling their dogs in strollers, to farmers who keep their working dogs outdoors and would sell them easily for the right price. When the animals are properly cared for, happy, healthy... so what?

 

[Matata]

Pets are not children.

Right. And I believe the comparison between the two is the most often used rationalization for treating animals as disposable. But they are alive and whether it says "meow" or "mama" when I take on responsibility for a life I don't distinguish between genus or species to establish my commitment to the life or the quality of care.

I think the real issue is how we view homo sapiens in relation to other living things. I completely agree with humane rehoming. There are a few families in my husband's practice (pediatrician) who I wish could be forced to rehome their children because they are lousy parents.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I'm allergic to my cats.

I LOVE it when people tell me they had to abandon their pets because of allergies (if it's a severe allergy or a baby, I'm don't do this) because then I look at them and say... I'm allergic to my cats. All five of them. And that's all I say... you get this awkward embarrassed silence from the abandoners. And I just let it go on and on... and they get more and more uncomfortable.

I frankly think people LIE about allergies. It's a medical excuse so people use it. There are MANY degrees of allergies. I get red watery itchy eyes, my nose gets stopped and if I'm not careful... I might have an asthma attack. I take Zyrtec every night and keep a Ventolin inhaler on hand along with som Benadryl. It's totally worth it to have my babies in my life.

Some people can't be bothered to be inconvenienced even a little bit. Losers.

First of all, I want to say that I agree cats are not disposable. The stories on here make me very upset. I personally am not living in my first choice neighborhood, and that is because my landlord is the only one who would take my 2 cats.

As for the allergies thing, that depends on the severity of the allergies. I do everything I can to avoid removal for my patients. I will send them for testing to make sure it is really the cats, I will advise they keep the pets out of the child's bedroom, and offer medications, and even allergy shots (although those are hard to do in my small town practice with the nearest allergist being 3 hours away). But if a child is having problems breathing because of an animal, I would not blame a parent for removing the animal. If we are talking anaphylaxis, sorry the pet needs to go, that is life threatening. If it is simple allergies (stuffy nose, watery eyes), I will encourage environmental modification and medications, and most families I deal with want to keep their pet and make it work.

 

[iugurl]

I'm allergic to my cats.

I LOVE it when people tell me they had to abandon their pets because of allergies (if it's a severe allergy or a baby, I'm don't do this) because then I look at them and say... I'm allergic to my cats. All five of them. And that's all I say... you get this awkward embarrassed silence from the abandoners. And I just let it go on and on... and they get more and more uncomfortable.

I frankly think people LIE about allergies. It's a medical excuse so people use it. There are MANY degrees of allergies. I get red watery itchy eyes, my nose gets stopped and if I'm not careful... I might have an asthma attack. I take Zyrtec every night and keep a Ventolin inhaler on hand along with som Benadryl. It's totally worth it to have my babies in my life.

Some people can't be bothered to be inconvenienced even a little bit. Losers.

Your allergies are very minor in comparison to (probably most) others. My husband is allergic to cats. By allergic, I mean he cannot BREATHE when he is around cats after a few hours. Once we leave my parents house (they have a cat) it takes HOURS for him to recover. We both must go home remove our clothing and take showers immediately. I used to just let him shower, but even the dander that gets on my skin/hair causes him to have major attacks. I truly believe if he were forced to stay in a room with a cat for a day or two, he would die. I would have had no choice but to give up my cats or not marry him.

I know you said that if it is severe you don't say anything, but yours must be very, very minor. Otherwise even a slight allergy to anything can become a lot worse once you are around it every.single.day. I don't know anyone with such a small reaction that they could live with cats or dogs that they are allergic to. A lot of my friends and coworkers are allergic to either cats and/or dogs and can only stand a few hours around the animals, even with taking Benadryl beforehand.

 

[Haven]

I think there is a big difference between humane rehoming and abandoning a pet.

Even so, I'll admit that it makes me lose a little bit of respect for people when they adopt an animal only to rehome it later on. I know that may be unfair, but I'm admitting it, and I can't help the way I feel.

I feel awful for people who are allergic to animals and really, truly can't be around them. I can't imagine being allergic to cats and/or dogs. I prefer pets to people more often than not.

ETA:

IUGirl--I believe that, in addition to being allergic to dander, most people who suffer from cat allergies are also allergic to proteins in the saliva. This is why (I think, at least) it's so difficult to truly clean your home for an allergy sufferer, because the proteins from the saliva are just hanging around in the air. I feel for your DH. That totally stinks. I would be devastated if I developed a severe allergy to animals of any kind. We always deep clean our house before my one friend with serious cat allergies comes over, and it still doesn't get rid of everything.

(However, we have a ton of friends and family members who claim to have severe allergies to cats, but all of them seem to be just fine spending hours upon hours in our house for parties and holidays! All but one. He gets puffy eyes and the sniffles.)

 

[missy]

I think there is a big difference between humane rehoming and abandoning a pet.

Even so, I'll admit that it makes me lose a little bit of respect for people when they adopt an animal only to rehome it later on. I know that may be unfair, but I'm admitting it, and I can't help the way I feel.

I feel awful for people who are allergic to animals and really, truly can't be around them. I can't imagine being allergic to cats and/or dogs. I prefer pets to people more often than not.

Ditto.

As for allergies, yes people with severe allergies can in many cases have treatment to allow them to comfortably be around cats/dogs. My family is a case in point and we did have bad allergies. In fact, it seemed I was the only one to escape the allergies until I moved out on my own and adopted a sweet kitty and then 2 more a year later. I developed allergic asthma a few years after getting my cats in my early twenties. So bad in fact I had to go to a pulmonologist who after a number of tests told me I must give up my kitties (I had 3 at the time) and if I did my asthma would go completely away. I refused and he was surprised and told me over 90% of his patients are willing to give up their cats when he tells them that if they do their allergic asthma will go away. Since I refused he gave me some meds/inhalers and told me to kick them out of the bedroom (which I did comply with as that is a compromise I can live with KWIM?).

About 9 years after developing the allergic asthma to my cats it seems to have gone in remission. So I do not consider myself allergic anymore. I think just exposing myself to all our cats over the years has desensitized me somehow. I am very happy about that.
I did *not* have mild asthma and I used to have to go out on my terrace to breathe during many of my attacks. It was scary but once I got on the right medical regime I was able to better control it. And my dh also had very bad allergies which he was able to treat with allergy shots.

There are lots of alternatives if you are allergic and really want to keep your pets. Not judging. Just stating facts.
And again, not everyone will be so fortunate but don't say you can't if you haven't tried. And if you are not in it for the long haul don't bother. The animals deserve better. My heart does go out to those who really love and want to keep their pets but simply cannot because no treatment gives them relief. That I do understand though it still breaks my heart.

 

[iugurl]

It does stink Fortunately, I did not have to give up cats, as technically "my" kitty was really my parent's kitty. However, if I did have a cat I would have had to give him up! I can never get a kitty of my own, which makes me very, very sad.

I do know my husband's case is more severe than others, but I don't know many people even with a lot less severe allergies who could live with a cat/dog.
@Missy, unfortunately, not everyone has that option. Treatment does not work for everyone. Even if it would eventually, not everyone wants to often think that they might die when they begin to have SEVERE attacks. Plus, not everyone can afford allergy shots and the time off of work for the appts/driving time to get to an a doctor who gives them. My SIL gets allergy shots (not for animals) but she has to drive 1 hour each way. She is fortunate she can afford the treatment and the time off of work.

 

[Laila619]

Pets aren't disposable,but I think find a new loving home sometimes is the only human and responsible way to go at it.As for me,I'm at the end of my rope with one of our cats,and I'm looking to rehome him in a loving house,where he can be the only pet and have all attentions on him,since apparently is what he need.He can't get over the fact he has to share my husband's (since he hates me and actively try to hurt me) attentions with two other kitties and pee everywhere.I tried for two whole years and nothing worked.I'm going to give litter reeducation a try,but if it doesn't work,he is going to someone else's home.Not anyone else's,but someone who will be able to give him plenty of attention and will have only him as a pet.

What if you can't find anyone trustworthy and kind to take him though? That's been my dilemma.

 

[wakingdreams53]

Some of the responses truly broke my heart. People could be so cruel. How far we have gone from nature.

We had to give our dog of 6 or more years away after my sister was born. Not because we couldn't care for her, but because she got severely jealous and sick and started losing hair. We found the best home possible for her. We couldn't keep her and watch her die, so we gave her to a family with whom she rejoiced and was able to live. Not very long after we gave her away, her new owners told us that she was beyond happy and healthy. They loved her and she loved them in return.

 

[iheartscience]

Pets are not children.

Right. And I believe the comparison between the two is the most often used rationalization for treating animals as disposable. But they are alive and whether it says "meow" or "mama" when I take on responsibility for a life I don't distinguish between genus or species to establish my commitment to the life or the quality of care.

I think the real issue is how we view homo sapiens in relation to other living things. I completely agree with humane rehoming. There are a few families in my husband's practice (pediatrician) who I wish could be forced to rehome their children because they are lousy parents.

DITTO.

 

[Colltee]

Pets aren't disposable,but I think find a new loving home sometimes is the only human and responsible way to go at it.As for me,I'm at the end of my rope with one of our cats,and I'm looking to rehome him in a loving house,where he can be the only pet and have all attentions on him,since apparently is what he need.He can't get over the fact he has to share my husband's (since he hates me and actively try to hurt me) attentions with two other kitties and pee everywhere.I tried for two whole years and nothing worked.I'm going to give litter reeducation a try,but if it doesn't work,he is going to someone else's home.Not anyone else's,but someone who will be able to give him plenty of attention and will have only him as a pet.

Sorry, just to clarify, did you have this cat before the other two or were they always together as a trio?

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I am so sick of hearing about people "getting rid" of their cats because their new apartment doesn't take them/their new roommate is allergic/whatever. Don't take that apartment or live with that roommate, then! HOW HARD IS THAT? When you adopt a cat, you're responsible for that cat for its entire life. Cats aren't some cute accessory that's fun until you want a new apartment.

I overheard a conversation about this yesterday, and it took all my willpower not to say something. And apparently I'm still mad!

It took me over six months to find an apartment in my price range for this very reason! My kitty is very happy in her new home!

 

[yssie]

I think there is a big difference between humane rehoming and abandoning a pet.

Even so, I'll admit that it makes me lose a little bit of respect for people when they adopt an animal only to rehome it later on. I know that may be unfair, but I'm admitting it, and I can't help the way I feel.

I feel awful for people who are allergic to animals and really, truly can't be around them. I can't imagine being allergic to cats and/or dogs. I prefer pets to people more often than not.

ETA:

IUGirl--I believe that, in addition to being allergic to dander, most people who suffer from cat allergies are also allergic to proteins in the saliva. This is why (I think, at least) it's so difficult to truly clean your home for an allergy sufferer, because the proteins from the saliva are just hanging around in the air. I feel for your DH. That totally stinks. I would be devastated if I developed a severe allergy to animals of any kind. We always deep clean our house before my one friend with serious cat allergies comes over, and it still doesn't get rid of everything.

(However, we have a ton of friends and family members who claim to have severe allergies to cats, but all of them seem to be just fine spending hours upon hours in our house for parties and holidays! All but one. He gets puffy eyes and the sniffles.)

I'll be honest and say that I do too - fair or not, I do. But I am weird, and I couldn't imagine giving one of them up any more than I could imagine rehoming a child.
And I've met some children I'm *severely* allergic to!

 

[Haven]

Yssie--Hahaha, you have me laughing out loud, here. I must have a similar allergy!

 

[TristanC]

I'd rather have an inhaler than have to look after most people's snotty nosed brats.

But I'm a hypocrite too, because I think lambs and cows are plenty cute, but I love meat. I've tried giving up, but can't. Yes I know i know. sigh.

However when an animal is bred for the purpose of being a pet, and you take responsibility for it, I believe it is imperative that you do the best you can. Sometimes that means that you may have to rehome the animal for whatever reason. But if you do - please do it humanely and with the pets best interest in mind. If you can't, don't buy the pet.

I never compare humans with animals. There isn't a real solid basis for comparison in my mind.

I think on the whole allergies thing, you can always approach an adoption shelter if you feel you need to check if you are allergic. You can always return the animal if your health suffers because you didn't know better.

However if young couples dump animals because their new bundle of joy is arriving and they worry about asthma etc... why didn't you think of this before you bought the animal? If you really had no foresight, then at least help rehome responsibly.

 

[jstarfireb]

I think pet owners absolutely have an obligation to make sure any animal they have taken in remain in a happy, healthy home. I just don't think the ONLY way to achieve that is to keep it yourself. If you personally can't imagine leaving your pet with a new family, I understand that, you have a strong emotional attachment to it. But I don't get how that has to extend to other people, IF they are being responsible in re-homing.

Gotta echo what Miss Stepcut said. I don't think animals are or should be disposable, but I do think there are some really good reasons for needing to send a pet to a new home, of course provided that it's a good home. I'm going to go out on a limb and argue that moving to an apartment that doesn't allow pets or having a roommate or significant other who's allergic is a VERY good reason for rehoming a pet. Not all of us can just choose a different apartment, roommate, significant other, etc. It's not always black and white. There are a lot of judgmental words being thrown around on this thread, and it's important to understand that not everyone shares the same perspective on this issue.

 

[chemgirl]

I think there is a big difference between humane rehoming and abandoning a pet.

Even so, I'll admit that it makes me lose a little bit of respect for people when they adopt an animal only to rehome it later on. I know that may be unfair, but I'm admitting it, and I can't help the way I feel.

I feel awful for people who are allergic to animals and really, truly can't be around them. I can't imagine being allergic to cats and/or dogs. I prefer pets to people more often than not.

ETA:

IUGirl--I believe that, in addition to being allergic to dander, most people who suffer from cat allergies are also allergic to proteins in the saliva. This is why (I think, at least) it's so difficult to truly clean your home for an allergy sufferer, because the proteins from the saliva are just hanging around in the air. I feel for your DH. That totally stinks. I would be devastated if I developed a severe allergy to animals of any kind. We always deep clean our house before my one friend with serious cat allergies comes over, and it still doesn't get rid of everything.

(However, we have a ton of friends and family members who claim to have severe allergies to cats, but all of them seem to be just fine spending hours upon hours in our house for parties and holidays! All but one. He gets puffy eyes and the sniffles.)

Exactly! I am severely allergic to dog saliva (only some dogs though...its weird). Its to the point where I feels like I've inhaled water and am drowning if I'm around them for too long. Benedryl doesn't cut it. Nobody believes me because most people don't realize that you can be allergic to saliva. My SIL has a particularly slobbery dog. She vacuums before I come over and assumes its fine. Its really not. Its like the saliva is floating around in the air. I am so relieved that DH had cats instead of dogs when I met him. I don't know if I could have dealt with dogs. I mean, I would have looked in to treatment, but the allergy is so severe and I can't be around some dogs for more than a few hours. I don't see how I could actually live with one (unless there's a magical cure out there...if so somebody let me know so I can sleep over at SIL's house!). I am generally against re-homing a pet, but I can see how it has to happen if the allergy is severe enough.

ETA: Just saw missy's post about allergy treatment for severe allergies. Its good to know its possible for some people to get treatment. I just don't know if its realistic for everyone who gets severe attacks to seek treatment. If DH had a dog, I would definitely try to be treated for the allergy, its just hard to say how it would have worked out in the end. I probably sound like a horrible person, but if I had to have costly shots every week for the rest of the dog's life I just don't know if that's something I could do. Soooo glad I don't have to cross that bridge.

 

[Gypsy]

I'm allergic to my cats.

I LOVE it when people tell me they had to abandon their pets because of allergies (if it's a severe allergy or a baby, I'm don't do this) because then I look at them and say... I'm allergic to my cats. All five of them. And that's all I say... you get this awkward embarrassed silence from the abandoners. And I just let it go on and on... and they get more and more uncomfortable.

I frankly think people LIE about allergies. It's a medical excuse so people use it. There are MANY degrees of allergies. I get red watery itchy eyes, my nose gets stopped and if I'm not careful... I might have an asthma attack. I take Zyrtec every night and keep a Ventolin inhaler on hand along with som Benadryl. It's totally worth it to have my babies in my life.

Some people can't be bothered to be inconvenienced even a little bit. Losers.

First of all, I want to say that I agree cats are not disposable. The stories on here make me very upset. I personally am not living in my first choice neighborhood, and that is because my landlord is the only one who would take my 2 cats.

As for the allergies thing, that depends on the severity of the allergies. I do everything I can to avoid removal for my patients. I will send them for testing to make sure it is really the cats, I will advise they keep the pets out of the child's bedroom, and offer medications, and even allergy shots (although those are hard to do in my small town practice with the nearest allergist being 3 hours away). But if a child is having problems breathing because of an animal, I would not blame a parent for removing the animal. If we are talking anaphylaxis, sorry the pet needs to go, that is life threatening. If it is simple allergies (stuffy nose, watery eyes), I will encourage environmental modification and medications, and most families I deal with want to keep their pet and make it work.

I agree with this.

But most of the people I met while working in shelters didn't even have allergies as bad as mine. They never got breathing issues, just watery eyes and sneezing. But... we can't take allergy medicine... nope, got to give away the cat.

Responsible re-homing is different. So are serious allergies. But most people DO NOT have serious allergies and most people DO NOT responsibly re-home.

And yes, MissStepCut I do judge. Work at a shelter for a while and see if you can avoid it. If you can find some allergy medicine that doesn't make you yawn.

iugirl... my allergies are worse around strange cats. And even with my own, if I'm away for too long and come back my symptoms are very bad the first few days (Zyrtec doesn't work, I have to take benadryl the entire time and allergy eye drops and the inhaler). For some reason the longer I'm around them regularly the more I get used to them. But when I am at a shelter I can't handle more than 3 hours with the strange cats, and sometimes less.

You husband has severe allergies. Those aren't the people I'm talking about. I'm talking about sniffles.

 

[Gypsy]

Pets aren't disposable,but I think find a new loving home sometimes is the only human and responsible way to go at it.As for me,I'm at the end of my rope with one of our cats,and I'm looking to rehome him in a loving house,where he can be the only pet and have all attentions on him,since apparently is what he need.He can't get over the fact he has to share my husband's (since he hates me and actively try to hurt me) attentions with two other kitties and pee everywhere.I tried for two whole years and nothing worked.I'm going to give litter reeducation a try,but if it doesn't work,he is going to someone else's home.Not anyone else's,but someone who will be able to give him plenty of attention and will have only him as a pet.

What if you can't find anyone trustworthy and kind to take him though? That's been my dilemma.

It's hard Laila. I have a cat we rescued from the great outdoors, Lucy, and she's in my guest bedroom. She hates my other cats and refuses integration. We've had her for 3 years and she's just an only kitty. We haven't been able to find her the right home as she needs to be an only cat and most pet lovers already have pets. So we keep her in the spare bedroom and I visit her every other day plus she spends every second night with us in our room. You do the best you can.

Do you have a no-kill shelter or rescue group near you?

 

[Imdanny]

having a pet is bringing someone into the family. i shudder to think how these people would treat a human.

That's it. Without reading more, this is what I wanted to say.

Some people think because pets are animals (like people aren't ), that they're justified in having a lack of empathy for them.

And it's ironic, because like your post implies, they think they're immune from this kind of callousness. Except they're not. They might find that out some day and won't they be in for such an awful surprise.

Such vanity.

 

[Lottie]

I can't believe all these nightmare kitty stories I like to consider my cat a rescue, she's a russian blue and a tiny little thing. The lady I got her from told me she was originally going to use her for breeding but that she was to small to be a breeding/mother cat and it wouldn't be healthy. When I called to arrange a pick-up date I asked if she would be able to have her fixed for me when I got there, but the woman refused, she told me incase I didn't come get the cat she didn't want to lose the option of using her for breeding! Really?!? She just told me that the cat isn't good for breeding, but the woman clearly wouldn't have cared. So I went a rescued my little fur baby from that woman before she was used as a kitten making machine!

This was my friends FB status the other day, I find it perfectly fitting to this thread:
"FREE TO A GOOD HOME: 2 year old child. Genuine reason, i've just got a new puppy so no longer have the time for the child. Also worried the child may bite the puppy. Child currently kept in a crate. Needs home by tomorrow or it'll be put to sleep. Thanks. YOU WOULDN'T DO THIS TO A CHILD SO WHY DO U SEE IT AS ACCEPTABLE TO DO IT TO A DOG? If you can't dedicate 10yrs to a dog, don't get one!! copy and paste if you agree."

I agree that there is no good reason to just dump an animal or treat it cruelly and there should be tougher penalties for this, there is usually the option to rehome responsibly. Parts of the facebook status above I cannot agree with - most animals are fine with children but some are not and if a family pet started top behave in an agressive manner to my child then thats it, out. We love our pets, they deserve to be cared for properly and owners need to behave responsibly towards them without exception, but if you decide to have children then you have to put their safety before anything else. No one has a time machine so you just don't know what will happen in the future.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I never compare humans with animals. There isn't a real solid basis for comparison in my mind.

I often compare humans with animals. A lot of the time, the humans don't compare favorably.
Here's a little something by Walt Whitman:
I think I could turn and live with animals, they're so placid and self contain'd,
I stand and look at them long and long.
They do not sweat and whine about their condition,
They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins,
They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God,
Not one is dissatisfied, not one is demented with the mania of owning things,
Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago,
Not one is respectable or unhappy over the earth.

 

[iheartscience]

I never compare humans with animals. There isn't a real solid basis for comparison in my mind.

I often compare humans with animals. A lot of the time, the humans don't compare favorably.
Here's a little something by Walt Whitman:
I think I could turn and live with animals, they're so placid and self contain'd,
I stand and look at them long and long.
They do not sweat and whine about their condition,
They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins,
They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God,
Not one is dissatisfied, not one is demented with the mania of owning things,
Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago,
Not one is respectable or unhappy over the earth.

Great post, Madam. I love that quote-thanks for posting.

 

[Pandora II]

My husband and I would love to have a cat - him especially. We've looked into hairless cats and Peterbalds. A friend of my fathers is also working on a research project that would remove histamine from the body and if it comes to anything we would definitely look into it in the future.

His allergies are extremely severe - his allergy is to an enzyme in their saliva which is then transferred onto their skin and fur when they wash themselves. Even touching a cat will bring him out in a rash - my daughter stroked a cat and then held his arm before I'd been able to clean her hands and his arm came up in little red blisters.

The allergy shots he takes require him to take 3 hours off work every week as he has to travel to the hospital, have the shot, wait there for an hour in case he suffers anaphalactic shock and then travel to work. He does these shots purely so that he can visit my parents 2 or 3 times a year and cope with their cats - and he's needle phobic so it is some sacrifice on his part. His arm also swells up and develops a red, itchy rash for 2-3 days after each one.

When we visit for a few days at Christmas we are very lucky that my parents own another property nearby that is animal-free so we can stay there. He has to go there every few hours in order to stave off severe asthma attacks. He doesn't have asthma unless he is in contact with cats or dogs. He's also doped up on meds for the entire visit and it's really miserable for him. My parent's remaining cat is 15 and unlikely to live more than a few weeks now as he has been unwell and getting progressively worse all summer. My parents have offered not to get anymore cats because of DH's allergies and he has told them not to be so stupid and think of what makes them happy.

This summer we went on holiday with my parents and the cats came too. Even though they were only in two rooms, my husband had to spend every evening sitting in the kitchen or our bedroom as they were the only rooms he could breathe in, and so couldn't watch TV or be with everyone else for the entire two weeks.

It is bad to the point that we have to turn down invitations to dinner or parties at friends houses if we know they have cats or dogs because it will mean that he won't enjoy the evening, will have to take meds and won't feel well for a few days after.

I don't think that kind of allergy is something that can be considered as 'if you really wanted to you would get past it'. With our daughter, I try to expose her to animals as much as possible and have done since she was tiny, and I have also breastfed her for over 2 years in the hope that she won't develop allergies to them as I have seen how easily it can make your life rather miserable. So far she seems to be okay.

I am always devastated whenever I loose a pet, and always regarded them as part of the family and something that you take on for life - but I would still have to put my child first. I didn't understand this way of thinking at all until I had a child though.

I do agree that it is wrong to take on an animal if you are the sort of person who would get rid of it 'just in case the child is allergic' if you are planning kids in the near future. I was told by numerous people that I should get rid of my pythons before having a child as it 'isn't safe' - my response was that I agreed that a child and pythons are not a safe combination but I have a big lock on the vivarium to stop my child potentially hurting THEM not the other way round! My pythons were also a non-negotiable when it came to boyfriends - but only because you can't be allergic to them and merely not liking or having a phobia of snakes is something I would expect them to deal with if they wanted to be with me.

I'm interested to hear how people view horses? Lots of people I know with horses will sell them on when they outgrow them and buy a new one more suitable to the level they are at and their size. Is this equally bad? One of the reasons I never had a horse was because I knew I could never bear to sell one on and I didn't have the space to have a whole field full of them.

 

[missy]

I'm interested to hear how people view horses? Lots of people I know with horses will sell them on when they outgrow them and buy a new one more suitable to the level they are at and their size. Is this equally bad? One of the reasons I never had a horse was because I knew I could never bear to sell one on and I didn't have the space to have a whole field full of them.

First of all I am so sorry about your dh's allergy to animals and it is exactly his type of case that I am not talking about when it comes to being irresponsible and cold to animals. My heart goes out to you.

And yes, I do think it is equally bad when people dispose of horses like this. Just my opinion though but these are living feeling animals and it is not OK for people to use them up and get rid of them and go onto the next.

ps love your post Madam...that quote about animals is so true...

 

[dragonfly411]

I'm interested to hear how people view horses? Lots of people I know with horses will sell them on when they outgrow them and buy a new one more suitable to the level they are at and their size. Is this equally bad? One of the reasons I never had a horse was because I knew I could never bear to sell one on and I didn't have the space to have a whole field full of them.

First of all I am so sorry about your dh's allergy to animals and it is exactly his type of case that I am not talking about when it comes to being irresponsible and cold to animals. My heart goes out to you.

And yes, I do think it is equally bad when people dispose of horses like this. Just my opinion though but these are living feeling animals and it is not OK for people to use them up and get rid of them and go onto the next.

ps love your post Madam...that quote about animals is so true...

I am a horse owner. I think horses depend on the situation. Horses have personalities like other animals. Horses are bred with purposes though too. I have four horses right now. They will all be with us for life. They have served us in anything we've asked of them, and they are wonderful. One I've had since he was weaned from his mother. I saw him at 2 months of age and knew I needed to have him. I have also sold horses. I had a pony who was getting older. I had him boarded at the farm I rode at. An older woman asked if she could ride him. He was a school master, and she was a bit insecure. They hit it off amazingly. I had outgrown him in terms of abilities, and I wanted to compete. It would not have been fair of me to ask him to travel to shows. Horses cost substantially more in upkeep, and he is still alive... he's almost 30. I wouldn't have been able to have a competition horse if I kept him. I spoke with the older woman, and we arranged for his purchase. She SPOILS HIM ROTTEN! I still get to visit him at least once a week, and he has a home for life. Most times I'll see him laying in the pasture, munching a bowl of apples she's brought out.
I also had a younger half arabian. Our personalities clashed in a very extreme way. He needed someone who was stronger, and more assertive than myself. I was getting no where with him, and he was getting frustrated and bored. I sold him to an older rancher who now uses him to work cows. They are a good match.
My oldest horse and I were a perfect match, where his first owner was not the right match for him. She did not understand arabians, and he was bored and depressed. When I started working with him, he took to me immediately. He would follow me around. I was the only person who had ever gotten him to load in a trailer without rearing back. My trainer once said he'd follow me to the moon if I asked him. He will do anything for me. We've competed in every type of competition imaginable. Sometimes it is a matter of finding the right match, just like with a person. If the pairing doesn't fit, is it fair to keep the horse and make them unhappy? Horses are competitive, and they like to be doing, and they like to please. If they aren't meant to do what will make the person happy, it isn't fair to the horse to make them sit, just because you couldn't bear to sell them. It is also part of responsible horsemanship to find the right match for yourself before buying/adopting a horse. At the end of the day though, it's not fair for the animal to remain miserable. The same goes for cats and dogs, and I do applaud those here who are trying to find a more suitable happy home for their animals.

 

[Asu]

Pets aren't disposable,but I think find a new loving home sometimes is the only human and responsible way to go at it.As for me,I'm at the end of my rope with one of our cats,and I'm looking to rehome him in a loving house,where he can be the only pet and have all attentions on him,since apparently is what he need.He can't get over the fact he has to share my husband's (since he hates me and actively try to hurt me) attentions with two other kitties and pee everywhere.I tried for two whole years and nothing worked.I'm going to give litter reeducation a try,but if it doesn't work,he is going to someone else's home.Not anyone else's,but someone who will be able to give him plenty of attention and will have only him as a pet.

Sorry, just to clarify, did you have this cat before the other two or were they always together as a trio?

This cat is the youngest,and the last we got.My husband wanted a birman,and we found him.For the first years or so he was quite sweet,though he was never fond on me,but he did let both of us pet him,he would let us pick him up,and he didn't pee outside.Then my husband started his own business,so he has less time,but he always made sure to give him attention and time,but for him it's not enough,and as time passes,he want more and more attention.Now,he doesn't accept that our other kitties need attentions anymore,and if they go near my husband he will chase them away.He pee everywhere costantly.I thought he had cystitis,since he had an urethrostomy,but he is fine.He just like to see me go nuts.Every single night for the last year,I wake up at least once every night with either his claws in my body or face,or he biting me,or with his whole weight (and he is a big,fluffy cat) planted on my face,so I can't breathe.All of this,because my husband pay attention to me,and he can't accept this.I'm afraid to even ask myself,what would happen if we keep him and we finally have a kid?I truly loved this cat just as much as I love the other two,but now I'm really tired.As for finding him an home,if I can't find anyone here,he would go to my grandma's house.She has lots of space and a huge garden.My grandparents are also both retired,so he can have all the attentions he want.The only reason he still isn't there is because my husband doesn't want to let him go,but when I told him that if he wanted to keep the cat,he was in total charge of him and everything he messed up,he refused,saying that I should just clean after him like I do with the rest of the house (yeah,but the rest of the house doesn't pee on herself multiple times a day...also he is ruining the floors,and we are renting..).Also,I think that at my grandparents he will have to live mostly outside,so I want to see if I can find another solution.

 

[blacksand]

Since I have been involved in animal rescue, I have met A LOT of people who simply lie about allergies. Yes, there are people who have severe animal allergies. I am one of them. Whenever I take in a new guinea pig (since I foster for the rescue, that's about once a month), my allergies suffer big time for a few days. I do get used to them after a while, and it stabilizes. I take daily allegy meds, and get on with it. The reason I have guinea pigs and rabbits is because my allergies to them are manageable with daily meds. The reason I do NOT have dogs or cats and stay the heck away from horses is because my allergies to them are very severe and absolutely NOT manageable with daily meds. I have been hospitalized multiple times for asthma attacks in the presence of dogs. I simply stop breathing. It's terrifying.

So I totally understand allergies, and I sympathize with people who really suffer from them. That said, there are a VAST number of people who dump their animals at my rescue because of "allergies" that I know to be, at best, exaggerated, and at worst, a lie. We've had people dump pets they've lived with for 5 years citing mysterious "allergies," when it later turned out they only dumped the one with the medical problem they didn't feel like paying for, and bought a few cute babies to replace it. It is unfortunate, but there are many people who hide behind allergies, as they sound like a reasonable excuse for dumping a pet. There are also many more people with mild allergies (sniffling, watery eyes and the like) than there are people who risk going into anaphylatic shock in the presence of animals. As it happens, I have many friends and relatives who suffer with allergies to some degree, and they are all are far less severe than my own. Mild allergies are very common, but they are also very manageable.

For those with severe allergies.... Personally, since my dog allergies are so severe, I simply didn't live with roommates who have dogs, and I didn't date men with dogs. I would never ask someone to give up a pet for me. So I just didn't involve myself with that. Likewise, I never dated men who could not live with my guinea pigs and rabbits. This may be controversial, but I made a committment to my pets that was more important than my dating life or finding a mate. That was very black and white to me.

But there are valid reasons for giving up a pet. I do think, if my fiance and I had a child who turned out to be severely allergic to our pets, and there was no reasonable way to keep the pets and the child separated, we would probably have to rehome. I don't think that happens often in households where kids are exposed to pets from birth, but I suppose it is not impossible. There are also certain life circumstances that we cannot predict. Not like graduating, moving, or having a baby, but like the one woman who brought three guinea pigs to my doorstep because her husband had suffered a massive stroke. She had to quit her job to stay home and care for him, so she could no longer afford to care for the pets. She was heartbroken. There was no way she could have predicted that would happen, and my heart went out to her. So I do think, even for those of us hardened by many years of animal rescue, it is important to keep an open mind.