Catholic Pre-Marriage Interview - HELP!!

[little miss sunshine]

I need some help !!

My fiance and I went to meet with a priest at my church and discuss our wedding (necessary before you can set a date). He went through church policy and everything was very standard... one day of pre-cana, need baptism certificates, no throwing rice, etc etc. He was very laid-back and really nice, but he mentioned this "pre-marriage" / "pre-nuptial" investigation. Apparently they are going to ask us some questions, separately "under oath" regarding whether or not we have been married before, etc. We have never been married previously, but we are worried about the "ETC"!! Has anyone been through this??? What are they going to ask?? We are just worried they will ask rather intimate questions about our personal life...

If anyone has done something like this, please advise!!!

 

[Skippy123]

From what I heard they ask some personal question, but I won''t worry. I think their main things is they look for abuse or other problems. My husband and I help w/the precana classes so that is just what I heard from the couples.

 

[little miss sunshine]

Whew! Okay that makes sense....
Thanks!!

 

[jcrow]

it varies per church per priest.
ours asked if we''d been married before. if we''ve been forced into marriage. these are asked privately separate from fi. he asked if we were open to kids and raising them catholic. he asked if we''d talked about finaces and how we were handling it. he asked if we''d discussed a pre-nup.
you''ll be fine.

 

[labbielove]

that is a good point, our catholic prep process is spread out among my local pastor, the deacon (oot) who is marrying us, and the parish where the chapel we''re getting married is in-

we''ve done pre-cana and the focus questionnaire, but not this PMI (which is an acronym i''ve heard at least in this area) and we haven''t been asked those questions yet. i''m a tad nervous about it only because at 40 & 42 we are not sure if children are in our future or not, but i guess that''s being "open" to children technically.

oy. now i''m nervous!!

 

[kimberlina13]

My fiance and I had ours last month, and it wasn''t a big deal at all. In fact, I don''t even remember all the questions. Our priest had me stay first and asked fiance to wait outside, and he asked my name, address, age. Then he asked if i was catholic (no), if I was any religion (no), asked if I was baptised. Then he asked about my parents'' names, address, religion, baptised. After that it was questions about fiance''s and my relationship: How long have you been together, how long have you been engaged. Are you being forced into this marriage, are you entering under your own free will, etc. Then I left the room and fiance did the same thing. So not a big deal at all, no worries

 

[roppongi]

Little Miss Sunshine....

One day of Pre-Cana? You are getting off easy. When I got married we had to attend Pre-Cana classes one day a week for six months, and then we had to tak a weekend re-treat with other married couples. The questons they ask are pretty standard, he probably just wants to make sure that you are compatible and that you are on the same track as far as having children, how to raise them...also there were some questions on family finances.

Don''t worry. It was a great experience. Have fun and enjoy it.

Roppongi

 

[kev_800]

At least you didn''t fail your FOCCUS survey. Haha... my fiancee and I were in the 60th percentile for compatibility on the scale. Hmmm...

 

[kimberlina13]

Date: 6/30/2007 12:01:41 PM
Author: roppongi
Little Miss Sunshine....

One day of Pre-Cana? You are getting off easy. When I got married we had to attend Pre-Cana classes one day a week for six months, and then we had to tak a weekend re-treat with other married couples. The questons they ask are pretty standard, he probably just wants to make sure that you are compatible and that you are on the same track as far as having children, how to raise them...also there were some questions on family finances.

Don''t worry. It was a great experience. Have fun and enjoy it.

Roppongi

Six months?! Wow! We''re only having to attend a one-day workshop as well. Well, we were actually given a choice, one day workshop or several classes over a longer period of time that were shorter in length.

 

[dmamsquared]

We''ve done pre-cana and the focus questionnaire, but not this PMI (which is an acronym i''ve heard at least in this area) and we haven''t been asked those questions yet. i''m a tad nervous about it only because at 40 & 42 we are not sure if children are in our future or not, but i guess that''s being "open" to children technically.
oy. now i''m nervous!! A




Catholics are supposed to go forth and procreate. Before you talk to the priest, make sure you''re both on the same page. If either of you seem skittish about the notion of kids, the priest may bring up fertility. For example, failure to disclose a prior vascectomy could be strong grounds for an annulment.
Now I''m a fine one to lecture. When my hubby and I had the "talk" we were together, thank goodness. When the question was raised about kids, hubby said that we didn''t want any! I kicked him so hard that it left a mark! I smoothed it over by including the words "right away!" Long story short, my daughter was born ten months after we were married. I sometimes refer to her as Monsignor''s revenge!

 

[rms]

I wonder if the interview you are referring to is just for the "Freedom to Marry" form? We had to fill this out through separate interviews with the priest. It was no big deal at all for us? We weren''t asked any questions about being forced into marriage at all. I guess it is different in all the various churches.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I agree that it varies from church to church and priest to priest. My husband and I had to take a "test" that would gauge our compatibility and also had to attend an all day class with other married couples. We also had to meet with the priest/deacon at leat 2 times before our wedding to discuss marriage, sex, money, religion, kids, etc. It wasn''t too bad for us. We already were basically on the same page before we got engaged so we didn''t run into any problems getting married in the church.