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Catholic Counseling

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vivosogno

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 16, 2006
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45
I am agnostic and my fiancee is catholic. We are getting married in the catholic church because it is very important to his family. We were told that we need to meet with the deacon before we can make the date "official" in their book. Then we have to go to 4-6 counseling sessions with a "peer couple".

What should I expect during these sessions? I''m very nervous because although my fiancee accepts my religious beliefs I''m worried about what kinds of questions I will be asked during these sesssions. Are they going to flat out ask me if I believe in God, etc? Could this hurt us in possibly getting married in the church?

Any insight is much appreciated!!

Thank you!
 

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tdiddy

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
227
hi-

i haven''t actually done this yet - i will have to before i get married as well - but i asked several of my friends about it that went to them. i am a non-practicing catholic and df is agnostic so i was fearing the worst as well.

i''ve heard of a few different formats - one is the peer couple approach, another is continued one-on-one mtgs with the deacon/priest who will be officiating, and another is a weekend long retreat where you "get it over with" all at once.

everyone i have talked to said you take compatibility tests and do things like list what you love/hate about each other and then discuss it all. You also talk about raising your children in a religion and family planning. Also some peer couples talk about adjusting to married life the first year. Things like that. None of it sounded insufferable to me and was right on par with some other experinences I had attending Catholic schools for 12 years but it seems like an annoying extra step to deal with right before you get married. One of my sister''s friends and her boyfriend walked out with a strong recommendation that they engage in serious pre-marital counseling before getting married though - which they did not do and the priest still married them. They are very happily married 8 years later:)
 

labbielove

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Messages
862
Hi there,
we are in a similar boat- i am practicing catholic and fi is agnostic.
i am nervous as well, but from everything i''ve heard it is fairly harmless,
one thing i''ve heard about the pre-cana classes is that it''s easier to do it in one shot (a full day saturday from 9-3 or so) rather than the weekly sessions. in my diocese these one days fill up quickly,

i am interested to hear from anyone who''s been through this with one/other of the folks being a non-religious person

(i am panicking that the priest will say, why are you always in church alone, or something.)

yikes-
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
i did the saturday class. i can tell you the details, but i think that all churches/priests approach these classes differently.
 

Rosebud8506

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 10, 2006
Messages
665
Date: 12/27/2006 7:54:40 AM
Author: jcrow
i did the saturday class. i can tell you the details, but i think that all churches/priests approach these classes differently.
I did as well. I agree, I think it depends on the church. It mainly is a chance for you to discuss things like family, finances and whose responsabilities will be what after marriage - so if you haven''t already, you''ll get a chance to go over those topics. In my opinion, it was pretty painless, and we had an opportunity to interact with other engaged couples as well.

Another reason why you might have the sessions one on one, is so your priest can get a chance to know you and your FI - they usually do this so that when the homily comes, they can say wonderful things about the two of you
 
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