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Cat thoughts...

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curiopotter

Brilliant_Rock
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Dec 27, 2006
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DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture.


Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.


DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed (again).


DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.


DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan ...


DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason, I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.


DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.


DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...


 
HAAAAHHAHAHAHAAAA......

too funny... i need one of ellen''s rolling on the floor icons
 
rotflmao2.gif
 
OMG!!!! Too funny!
 
Oh Curio! Thank you! SOOOOOOOO funny!

I have a version of that and it is one of my all-time FAVORITES, too!
9.gif
Would you mind if I posted it?! It''s a little different than yours.

Here goes...


AS SEEN IN A DOG’S DIARY:
7 am Oh boy! Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am Oh boy! Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am Oh boy! Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon Oh boy! Oh boy! The back yard! My favorite!
2 pm Oh boy! Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm Oh boy! Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm Oh boy! Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
5 pm Oh boy! Oh boy! Mom’s home! My favorite!
6 pm Oh boy! Oh boy! Dad’s home! My favorite!
7 pm Oh boy! Oh boy! Frisbee! My favorite!
8 pm Oh boy! Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm Oh boy! Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm Oh boy! Oh boy! Sleeping in my people’s bed! My favorite!

AS SEEN IN THE CAT’S DIARY:


Day 187 of my captivity…
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry kibble.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to assassinate my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit a hairball on their favorite chair. Must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless, lifeless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to strike terror into their hearts. They merely cooed and condescended about what a “good little kitty” I am. Hmmmm, not working according to my plan.
There was some sort of a gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the entire event – however, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing “allergies”. Hmmmm, must learn more about this and how I can use it to my advantage.
I am convinced that the other captives are flunkies and maybe even snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, must be an informant as he speaks to them regularly. I am convinced he reports my every move. Due to his placement in his small metal room, his safety is assured. For now.
But I can wait. It is only a matter of time…
 
LOL!!! I was laughing so hard DH had to come read this!!!! HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!
 
LOL Lynn, I completely forgot about the dog part!

hehehe... so funny.
 
Date: 8/2/2007 11:21:39 AM
Author: Ellen

rotflmao2.gif
Don''t tell me this one actually rolls???
2.gif
 
That is really cute.
 
LOL, poor kitties...I think this is somewhat true!!!
 
THose are great -- both the cat and the dog ones!
 
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