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Cat help needed!

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zhuzhu

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Hello!

We had taken a 2 years old cat in to help a friend of a friend out.. The original owner had to leave the country unexpectedly so she left her cat Meimei at a friend''s apartment. This friend has 2 cats, one of which is a real bully. During the 2 month Meimei stayed with this new family, the bully cat has been hissing and hitting Meimei non-stop in her 600 sf one-bedroom apartment. Hearing about how traumatic the household is for Meimei, my husband wanted to help so we drove 3 hours to pick Meimei up and move her in with us.

What I had not expected was how the 2 month stay with a bully cat has influenced Meimei''s personality. Her original owner said Meimei used to be extremely sweet with people and cats alike. However even after we leave her in a separate room all yesterday, whenever we tried to introduce our 3 resident cats to her Meimei hisses, growls, and even swats at them.

I feel especially bad for the youngest cat Nina (4 month younger than Meimei)because she is so innocent and all she wants to do is going up to say hello, and play.

Is it going to get better? All my 3 cats adopt to the house and previous cats within a few hours, but Meimei is full of anger and fear I don''t know what to do???
 
((((((((((zhuzhu)))))))))))))

I''m so glad that you found it in your heart to take in MeiMei. You are a truly wonderful person for doing this. I don''t have much advice except to continue to show MeiMei love and affection, and hopefully in time she will return to her self. The poor thing has been so traumatized. (((((MeiMei)))))

BTW, do you know when the owner will be returning? The poor kitty probably misses her Mom/Dad.
 
Unfortunately, they do not plan on returning. They were students here and when their visa transfer did not go as planned, they had no choice to return to their home country.

I think it is unfortunate that they did not plan better for the cat they left behind....
 
Wow zhuzhu that is so sad. I agree that it was not the best choice to get a kitty and not think about the future. I''m praying that in time little MeiMei readjusts to a loving, safe, and caring home. I do feel sorry for your little one too. It''s not fair for your Nina to be exposed to this. Do you think you could speak to your veterinarian about a plan of action? I''m sure they should have some good advice.
 
Some cats require a long time to adjust to each other. This was the advice I was given by a vet when I was introducing a new arrival to a skitty kitty.

Put Meimei in a separate room with everything she needs and keep her separate for a few days. Don't introduce her to the other cats at all yet. Just give all of them lots of attention.

Start the process by giving Meimei something the other cats' scent is on. Give the other cats something of Meimei's to sniff. Can't hurt to pet them all affectionately while they're getting used to the scent. Next day start introducing them to each other under close supervision for a few minutes, but the instant someone gets hissy separate them again. Try to keep them all relaxed and associating each other with good things like pets, perhaps treats, etc. Rinse and repeat over a number of days letting the visits get longer. If they have a big blowout step back the process a bit. Don't let any of them associate another cat with something unpleasant.

Some cats accept others instantly but a lot don't. A bullied cat probably is not. Getting them to accept new cats is possible, it's just a project. Good luck! That really is amazing of you to take her in.
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The only thing I can't recall about the intro process is if you're supposed to let the established cats visit in Meimei's room, or let her come out. I kind of think it's best to let them visit her at first- she should feel safer that way.
 
Thank you guys!
I put Meimei back into the "isolation room". She still seems quite nervous whereas other cats just continue to sniff under the door of the room she is in.
Poor resident cats!
 
Ditto to the others - this process can take a while, especially if MeiMei has been through a traumatic experience. I really think with time it will work out, but it will take weeks or possibly even longer of slow, gradual introduction. Just try to be patient.

Bless you for taking this sweet kitty in
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A little update (Day 3).

Meimei refuses to stay in the room we set up to separate her from other cats. Instead she wants to be out in the living room and hide behind our couch. Whenever little Nina or other 2 older cats go up to the end of the couch she hisses and growls loudly.

She has been eating and drinking, so other than behavior factor I think she is healthy.

Should I just leave them be and play out their "social order"? I have never had any problem introducing kitten to previous resident cat before, all my 3 cats get along like a dream. I hope Meimei''s previous trauma does not interfere with her trust for my cats because they are real nice kids. I must say I am very proud of my kitties. They do not hiss back at Meimei, they just look at her with concerning eyes....
 
One thing I forgot to mention.
Our cats have not been eating very much since Meimei came into our house. The food dish is still full, even the can food dish is not finished after one night (which never happens).
Does feeling nervous affect our cats'' appetite?
 
The new kitty is still so mean to our resident cats. Do I have to find a human-only home for her?
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Normally I would say to just let it be and that she will realize that they arent a threat to her, but since your own arent eating I would begin to get concerned. This poor kitty being shuffled around. Keep her as long as you can. Maybe yours are not eating because they are a little nervous. When they are really hungry they will eat. They will not starve themselves because there is a vocal grumpy cat in the house.

Would it be possible to try it all again. Maybe she would be receptive if you introduced one at a time instead of the who group to one kitty. Perhaps she is feeling that she is being ganged up on??
 
I think MeiMei will calm down towards the other cats once she settles in. It took my cats about a week or two to start acting normal when I moved them from my apartment to my new house, and they didn't even have to deal with any new cats. I'm sure MeiMei is just scared and is used to being threatened by other cats. If I were you I'd probably lock MeiMei up when you're not around and put things that smell like the other cats in her room with her. Then let her out when you're around so you can supervise.

I made the mistake of living with a girl with 2 cats, one of who was very aggressive towards my cats, the older boy in particular. My younger girl kitty was fine but my older boy cat did become more aggressive after being exposed to her. When I got my third cat (a while after the roommate and her 2 cats were gone) he was pretty aggressive towards her. He still goes after her every now and then in a way that's a bit more aggressive than just playing. She's able to hold her own quite well, though, and they've settled into their pecking order. (It's pretty funny because it's the littlest girl in charge, then the older boy, then the newest girl.)

As for your kitties not eating as much, it's probably just the excitement of a new cat. I would call your vet just to be on the safe side but I wouldn't be too concerned. They're probably just more interested in the new cat than in eating food!

I'm so glad you took MeiMei in. And
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to her owners for just ditching her. Don't get a pet if you're not certain you'll be able to care for it! Okay, off my soap box now.
 
To be honest I am very disappointed. It has been only 3 days I know..., but she would not let us go to pet her. It is just so dramatically different from what I have hoped.

Our cats love each other and us, we sleep in the same bed every night and all three cats take turn to cuddle with us on the couch to watch TV every single day. They also love each other and groom and play together all the time. If after a couple of weeks Meimei continues to be anti-social, I really need to find her a no-cat family to love and care for her.

Even I am getting stressed out now, not just my resident cats!!!!
 
Date: 1/12/2010 1:04:26 AM
Author: zhuzhu
To be honest I am very disappointed. It has been only 3 days I know..., but she would not let us go to pet her. It is just so dramatically different from what I have hoped.

Our cats love each other and us, we sleep in the same bed every night and all three cats take turn to cuddle with us on the couch to watch TV every single day. They also love each other and groom and play together all the time. If after a couple of weeks Meimei continues to be anti-social, I really need to find her a no-cat family to love and care for her.

Even I am getting stressed out now, not just my resident cats!!!!

I totally understand being upset-my cats are the same as yours and snuggle with me all the time. (I also have 3 kitties!) But 3 days is really not enough time at all for her to settle in! My one cat was so freaked out after we moved that she wouldn''t stop hiding under the bed and a chair for over a week. And she hadn''t even been through the trauma of 3 houses in 2 months and getting beat up all day by a bully cat-she just moved 2 blocks away into a new house! She was so stressed out she was panting, which is something I had never even seen a cat do.

Give your new kitty some time-she''s been through a lot and she''s lucky to have found you! I bet she''ll start calming down after a week or two. It may take a while but I''m sure she''ll acclimate eventually. And hopefully your 3 good kids can teach her a few things!
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It''s a hard adjustment for kitties, especially one who was bullied. It''s stressful for everyone, that''s for sure. You''re doing good though! Really 3 days is *nothing* for a cat to adjust to a new home with other cats in it; my girl kitty took about 6 months to stop hissing at our newbie! Honestly I''d just separate Meimei again, she probably needs a safe place to feel secure in, and to get used to the rest of the place and the other cats at a slower pace. Good luck
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Heck, my girlkitty Sonar took almost a week to stop huddling in her carrier and hissing at the *entire apartment* when we moved her for the first time- she just raced out to pee and eat, hissing like a teakettle the whole time, and right back in the carrier to hide. A lot of cats hate change, it''s very hard for them. Just try to give her time, poor little critter. You''re doing a really good thing, just try give her more time.

I''d worry if she''s still antisocial after a month or so, but not yet. Don''t worry yourself too much!
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