Car Seat Alarms? Do They Exist?

[blackberry16]

Now that DH and I are sharing the transport of our son to and from daycare I have begun to worry about him being accidentally left in the car. I have been looking for an alarm that will sound if one of us were to walk away from the car while DS was still inside. I have only found one such device from a company called Baby Alert International. I think that they are a scam, due to the interactions that I have had with them. I just canceled my order and now I need to find something else. Has anyone seen or heard of another product like this?

 

[Haven]

I don't know of an alarm, but between now and the time that you do find what you're looking for I highly recommend this method:

Leave something you would never leave your car without next to the baby in the back seat. For me, this would be my purse, or if I'm going to work or home, my office or house keys. We don't have a baby yet, I'm 6 mos pregnant, but DH and I have already talked about adopting my method of not forgetting things in the back seat when baby comes along. Just in case.

 

[blackberry16]

I don't know of an alarm, but between now and the time that you do find what you're looking for I highly recommend this method:

Leave something you would never leave your car without next to the baby in the back seat. For me, this would be my purse, or if I'm going to work or home, my office or house keys. We don't have a baby yet, I'm 6 mos pregnant, but DH and I have already talked about adopting my method of not forgetting things in the back seat when baby comes along. Just in case.

Thanks Haven, that is what we have been doing so far. I leave my purse and DH leaves his computer in the back seat. It seems like there have been several tragic accidents with babies being forgotten in cars this week which made me want to get moving on figuring something out. I just feel so terrible for those parents. While I never leave DS in the car on purpose I can see how it could happen if a baby is asleep and mom or dad have deviated from his or her normal schedule and forgets the baby.

P.S. Congrats on your upcoming bundle of joy! How exciting! Hope you have been having a good pregnancy thus far.

 

[Circe]

The most beautifully written, and most agonizing, article I've ever read in my life was written on this topic. Guy won a Pulitzer for it, I believe: the lady who'd linked to it said it was NSFW because it would make you cry, and I thought she was being hyperbolic. Nope: I got to the fourth page and I just burst into tears.

Anyway. He mentioned that one of the parents who'd suffered this kind of a loss was a NASA scientist. His colleagues got together and designed a pressure sensor specifically so it would never happen again. And the auto industry refuses to adopt it, because they don't want to be legally liable, not even at the outside. I'm hoping for legislation that will make it as integral as the safety belt, but I'm not holding my breath.

Haven's advice seems like the most practical - the author of the piece mentioned that it most often happened because of a shift in routine that made people feel like they'd checked the mental box that corresponded to the task of dropping the baby off. Hard to guard against, but I think just the extra level of awareness helps ....

 

[Skippy123]

they do exist; I haven't read the comments but I saw something on the news because people forgot their kids in the car. I wonder if you could write Baby Gizmo (a moms blog that reviews lots of baby products).

I found this http://news.cnet.com/8301-10784_3-6042618-7.html

and this http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2007/07/babysafety.html

 

[blackberry16]

The most beautifully written, and most agonizing, article I've ever read in my life was written on this topic. Guy won a Pulitzer for it, I believe: the lady who'd linked to it said it was NSFW because it would make you cry, and I thought she was being hyperbolic. Nope: I got to the fourth page and I just burst into tears.

Anyway. He mentioned that one of the parents who'd suffered this kind of a loss was a NASA scientist. His colleagues got together and designed a pressure sensor specifically so it would never happen again. And the auto industry refuses to adopt it, because they don't want to be legally liable, not even at the outside. I'm hoping for legislation that will make it as integral as the safety belt, but I'm not holding my breath.

Haven's advice seems like the most practical - the author of the piece mentioned that it most often happened because of a shift in routine that made people feel like they'd checked the mental box that corresponded to the task of dropping the baby off. Hard to guard against, but I think just the extra level of awareness helps ....

Thank you Circe, I am glad to see that others feel compassion for these parents that make a terrible mistake. It seems that I mostly hear/read terrible hateful comments about this sort of thing even when it's an accident.

 

[blackberry16]

they do exist; I haven't read the comments but I saw something on the news because people forgot their kids in the car. I wonder if you could write Baby Gizmo (a moms blog that reviews lots of baby products).

I found this http://news.cnet.com/8301-10784_3-6042618-7.html

and this http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2007/07/babysafety.html

Hey Skippy, this was a big help! The only one on the market right now looks to be the Child Minder. I have only read one positive comment about the company that produces it though. They don't answer their phone and customers have said that they string you along with promises in email form until it is too late to dispute the charges with the credit card company. My interactions with them this week sent up red flags everywhere!

I did look at the Sisters of Invention alarm and even though its not on the market yet they do allow a pre-order. I went ahead and did that, can't hurt right?

 

[Circe]

The most beautifully written, and most agonizing, article I've ever read in my life was written on this topic. Guy won a Pulitzer for it, I believe: the lady who'd linked to it said it was NSFW because it would make you cry, and I thought she was being hyperbolic. Nope: I got to the fourth page and I just burst into tears.

Anyway. He mentioned that one of the parents who'd suffered this kind of a loss was a NASA scientist. His colleagues got together and designed a pressure sensor specifically so it would never happen again. And the auto industry refuses to adopt it, because they don't want to be legally liable, not even at the outside. I'm hoping for legislation that will make it as integral as the safety belt, but I'm not holding my breath.

Haven's advice seems like the most practical - the author of the piece mentioned that it most often happened because of a shift in routine that made people feel like they'd checked the mental box that corresponded to the task of dropping the baby off. Hard to guard against, but I think just the extra level of awareness helps ....

Thank you Circe, I am glad to see that others feel compassion for these parents that make a terrible mistake. It seems that I mostly hear/read terrible hateful comments about this sort of thing even when it's an accident.

I don't think it's possible to read the article and not feel a terrible there-but-for-the-grace-of-god empathy and sorrow: if anybody manages, I can only imagine they've never been responsible for anyone, and never felt the terror of letting them down, or the overwhelming guilt that comes with when it happens, even for something as minor as a skinned knee. Something like that? I genuinely shudder.

Link to the article with a for-real, serious warning: like I said, it's one of the most moving things I've ever read; the author uses a number of writerly techniques to pull you in that I've never seen deployed more effectively. But the result is that it can really haunt you: I don't even drive anymore, and I still periodically have unpleasant flashes back to it, and I read it six months ago. So, you know, at your own risk: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/27/AR2009022701549.html

P.S. - It probably goes without saying, but my other takeaway on this is, if you ever see an infant forgotten in the back of a car, don't wait on calling the cops, and don't wait for them to arrive before you do something: smash the window and figure it out afterwards.

 

[orbaya]

Now that DH and I are sharing the transport of our son to and from daycare I have begun to worry about him being accidentally left in the car. I have been looking for an alarm that will sound if one of us were to walk away from the car while DS was still inside. I have only found one such device from a company called Baby Alert International. I think that they are a scam, due to the interactions that I have had with them. I just canceled my order and now I need to find something else. Has anyone seen or heard of another product like this?

With all due respect, I just don't understand how a parent can FORGET that they have a child in the vehicle. I write this from a person (me) as an EMT who has responded to calls with children forgotten in the car, one with an unhappy ending. Perhaps I am more hypersensitive to the issue because of this? I don't know. I guess I don't get that a parent can forget that they have their kid with them.

I apologize if this is offensive or unacceptable to people, but with my personal experiences, I am very sensitive to this issue.

edited to add that I was an EMT.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Now that DH and I are sharing the transport of our son to and from daycare I have begun to worry about him being accidentally left in the car. I have been looking for an alarm that will sound if one of us were to walk away from the car while DS was still inside. I have only found one such device from a company called Baby Alert International. I think that they are a scam, due to the interactions that I have had with them. I just canceled my order and now I need to find something else. Has anyone seen or heard of another product like this?

With all due respect, I just don't understand how a parent can FORGET that they have a child in the vehicle. I write this from a person (me) as an EMT who has responded to calls with children forgotten in the car, one with an unhappy ending. Perhaps I am more hypersensitive to the issue because of this? I don't know. I guess I don't get that a parent can forget that they have their kid with them.

I apologize if this is offensive or unacceptable to people, but with my personal experiences, I am very sensitive to this issue.

edited to add that I was an EMT.

You should read the article that Circe posted. It's excellent, and explains how this can happen (has to do with brain functions). I remember reading it when it came out. If you can, also try to find the Washington Post's live chat with Gene Weingarten, the author.

I have never forgottten my kids in the car, but I have briefly forgotten they were in the car with me. The way I sit in my mini-van, I can not see either of them in the rear view window unless I strain and lift up almost all the way out of my seat. If I were to casually glance in the rear view mirror, they are both too short seated and do not appear in my window view. There have been times I've been caught up talking to my husband and then one of them made a noise, which reminded me of their presence. If you read the Weingarten article, it makes sense...

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Honestly, this is D's and my biggest fear. There was a case of this happening in Kansas City earlier this year and my mother happens to work with a family member (an aunt) of the 13-month-old whose mother forgot to drop him off at daycare. My mother said the aunt was a mess--I can't imagine how the mother had to feel. I believe she was on suicide watch for a long time. It's so awful.

We have an agreement with our babysitter that if we do not show up at her door within a half of an hour of our drop-off time she is to call my cell, my husband's cell, my work, my husband's work, our home and finally our emergency contacts. I had her add this to our contract.

I'm in charge of drop-off, so D calls me every morning at the same time to see how it went. He's obsessive-compulsive as it is, but this is one area where I am on board with his OCD.

I have a hard time reading any stories related to this. Just the thought of it makes me ill.

ETA: I take a commuter rail into work and find myself glancing into the back seats of cars parked in the parking lot when I walk by them to make sure any car seats are empty. I know it sounds intrusive, but it's a weird habit I've had for a long time.

 

[orbaya]

Now that DH and I are sharing the transport of our son to and from daycare I have begun to worry about him being accidentally left in the car. I have been looking for an alarm that will sound if one of us were to walk away from the car while DS was still inside. I have only found one such device from a company called Baby Alert International. I think that they are a scam, due to the interactions that I have had with them. I just canceled my order and now I need to find something else. Has anyone seen or heard of another product like this?

With all due respect, I just don't understand how a parent can FORGET that they have a child in the vehicle. I write this from a person (me) as an EMT who has responded to calls with children forgotten in the car, one with an unhappy ending. Perhaps I am more hypersensitive to the issue because of this? I don't know. I guess I don't get that a parent can forget that they have their kid with them.

I apologize if this is offensive or unacceptable to people, but with my personal experiences, I am very sensitive to this issue.

edited to add that I was an EMT.

You should read the article that Circe posted. It's excellent, and explains how this can happen (has to do with brain functions). I remember reading it when it came out. If you can, also try to find the Washington Post's live chat with Gene Weingarten, the author.

I have never forgottten my kids in the car, but I have briefly forgotten they were in the car with me. The way I sit in my mini-van, I can not see either of them in the rear view window unless I strain and lift up almost all the way out of my seat. If I were to casually glance in the rear view mirror, they are both too short seated and do not appear in my window view. There have been times I've been caught up talking to my husband and then one of them made a noise, which reminded me of their presence. If you read the Weingarten article, it makes sense...

Again, with all due respect, no matter the circumstance, I just don't see how one can forget. Even if the child is quiet/falls asleep,and not in the driver's view, I guess I believe that an adult in the vehicle should NEVER forget there is a child in the car when an adult exits the car. That's the main issue. If a child falls asleep during the ride, fine..I get what you are saying. But when the ride is over, and the car is parked and its occupants are ready to leave the car, it's a different. IMO, someone needs to be aware of the child, and remove them from the car.

Again, this coming from someone who has experienced the worst of this sort of situation.

Perhaps I should just bow out of this now........

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Now that DH and I are sharing the transport of our son to and from daycare I have begun to worry about him being accidentally left in the car. I have been looking for an alarm that will sound if one of us were to walk away from the car while DS was still inside. I have only found one such device from a company called Baby Alert International. I think that they are a scam, due to the interactions that I have had with them. I just canceled my order and now I need to find something else. Has anyone seen or heard of another product like this?

With all due respect, I just don't understand how a parent can FORGET that they have a child in the vehicle. I write this from a person (me) as an EMT who has responded to calls with children forgotten in the car, one with an unhappy ending. Perhaps I am more hypersensitive to the issue because of this? I don't know. I guess I don't get that a parent can forget that they have their kid with them.

I apologize if this is offensive or unacceptable to people, but with my personal experiences, I am very sensitive to this issue.

edited to add that I was an EMT.

You should read the article that Circe posted. It's excellent, and explains how this can happen (has to do with brain functions). I remember reading it when it came out. If you can, also try to find the Washington Post's live chat with Gene Weingarten, the author.

I have never forgottten my kids in the car, but I have briefly forgotten they were in the car with me. The way I sit in my mini-van, I can not see either of them in the rear view window unless I strain and lift up almost all the way out of my seat. If I were to casually glance in the rear view mirror, they are both too short seated and do not appear in my window view. There have been times I've been caught up talking to my husband and then one of them made a noise, which reminded me of their presence. If you read the Weingarten article, it makes sense...

Again, with all due respect, no matter the circumstance, I just don't see how one can forget. Even if the child is quiet/falls asleep,and not in the driver's view, I guess I believe that an adult in the vehicle should NEVER forget there is a child in the car when an adult exits the car. That's the main issue. If a child falls asleep during the ride, fine..I get what you are saying. But when the ride is over, and the car is parked and its occupants are ready to leave the car, it's a different. IMO, someone needs to be aware of the child, and remove them from the car.

Again, this coming from someone who has experienced the worst of this sort of situation.

Perhaps I should just bow out of this now........

This is why the article is helpful, as hard as it is to read. It breaks down the science of how it happens. Basically, when you are under any stress, simple tasks (like a routine) are shifted to the most lizard-like part of your brain. The article uses the analogy where you drive for miles and have no recollection of driving. I think we can all relate to that--I know this has happend to me. It's a really scary thought that my brain is not to be trusted! Especially when I complain about mommy brain so much.

 

[monarch64]

I read the article yesterday morning. Orbaya, I really think you should read it as well, it will *maybe* help you understand how this could happen.

I skipped over the parts describing the dead childrens' appearance although there are a couple of words that my eyes caught anyway and are forever stuck in my brain. It was definitely haunting, and definitely made me worry that if we were currently sending our 3 month old to daycare it could happen to us.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Wow, thank you for bringing this topic up and for sharing that article, even though it is horrific to even think about. I have heard of these stories and been so saddened for the parents, but I never thought to have a plan in place to prevent it. Since DH's building is right next door to where our little one will go to daycare, he will probably do the majority of the drop-offs, so I guess I will just make sure to call him every morning to ask how the drop-off went and have him do the same on the occasions I do the drop-off. It seems unfathomable either of us would ever forget our baby in a car, but I guess that is what these parents thought too. Shudder.

 

[blackberry16]

Now that DH and I are sharing the transport of our son to and from daycare I have begun to worry about him being accidentally left in the car. I have been looking for an alarm that will sound if one of us were to walk away from the car while DS was still inside. I have only found one such device from a company called Baby Alert International. I think that they are a scam, due to the interactions that I have had with them. I just canceled my order and now I need to find something else. Has anyone seen or heard of another product like this?

With all due respect, I just don't understand how a parent can FORGET that they have a child in the vehicle. I write this from a person (me) as an EMT who has responded to calls with children forgotten in the car, one with an unhappy ending. Perhaps I am more hypersensitive to the issue because of this? I don't know. I guess I don't get that a parent can forget that they have their kid with them.

I apologize if this is offensive or unacceptable to people, but with my personal experiences, I am very sensitive to this issue.

edited to add that I was an EMT.

You should read the article that Circe posted. It's excellent, and explains how this can happen (has to do with brain functions). I remember reading it when it came out. If you can, also try to find the Washington Post's live chat with Gene Weingarten, the author.

I have never forgottten my kids in the car, but I have briefly forgotten they were in the car with me. The way I sit in my mini-van, I can not see either of them in the rear view window unless I strain and lift up almost all the way out of my seat. If I were to casually glance in the rear view mirror, they are both too short seated and do not appear in my window view. There have been times I've been caught up talking to my husband and then one of them made a noise, which reminded me of their presence. If you read the Weingarten article, it makes sense...

Again, with all due respect, no matter the circumstance, I just don't see how one can forget. Even if the child is quiet/falls asleep,and not in the driver's view, I guess I believe that an adult in the vehicle should NEVER forget there is a child in the car when an adult exits the car. That's the main issue. If a child falls asleep during the ride, fine..I get what you are saying. But when the ride is over, and the car is parked and its occupants are ready to leave the car, it's a different. IMO, someone needs to be aware of the child, and remove them from the car.

Again, this coming from someone who has experienced the worst of this sort of situation.

Perhaps I should just bow out of this now........

I can appreciate your point of view but I really think that in the case of an accident we should be careful about blanket statement regarding what we would or wouldn't do. Haven't we all made a stupid mistake (perhaps in the car) that could have had serious consequences? I would like to think that I too would never forget my precious baby was in the car with me, but I can't say that it would NEVER happen. All I am trying to do it have back up plans in place to possibly save my child's life if I do make a mistake (as human beings tend to do).

 

[Circe]

Now that DH and I are sharing the transport of our son to and from daycare I have begun to worry about him being accidentally left in the car. I have been looking for an alarm that will sound if one of us were to walk away from the car while DS was still inside. I have only found one such device from a company called Baby Alert International. I think that they are a scam, due to the interactions that I have had with them. I just canceled my order and now I need to find something else. Has anyone seen or heard of another product like this?

With all due respect, I just don't understand how a parent can FORGET that they have a child in the vehicle. I write this from a person (me) as an EMT who has responded to calls with children forgotten in the car, one with an unhappy ending. Perhaps I am more hypersensitive to the issue because of this? I don't know. I guess I don't get that a parent can forget that they have their kid with them.

I apologize if this is offensive or unacceptable to people, but with my personal experiences, I am very sensitive to this issue.

edited to add that I was an EMT.

You should read the article that Circe posted. It's excellent, and explains how this can happen (has to do with brain functions). I remember reading it when it came out. If you can, also try to find the Washington Post's live chat with Gene Weingarten, the author.

I have never forgottten my kids in the car, but I have briefly forgotten they were in the car with me. The way I sit in my mini-van, I can not see either of them in the rear view window unless I strain and lift up almost all the way out of my seat. If I were to casually glance in the rear view mirror, they are both too short seated and do not appear in my window view. There have been times I've been caught up talking to my husband and then one of them made a noise, which reminded me of their presence. If you read the Weingarten article, it makes sense...

Again, with all due respect, no matter the circumstance, I just don't see how one can forget. Even if the child is quiet/falls asleep,and not in the driver's view, I guess I believe that an adult in the vehicle should NEVER forget there is a child in the car when an adult exits the car. That's the main issue. If a child falls asleep during the ride, fine..I get what you are saying. But when the ride is over, and the car is parked and its occupants are ready to leave the car, it's a different. IMO, someone needs to be aware of the child, and remove them from the car.

Again, this coming from someone who has experienced the worst of this sort of situation.

Perhaps I should just bow out of this now........

As hard as the article was to read, it must be a thousand times worse to be there in person. I'm so glad you were there to help save the other children.

And, as for the fact that no one should ever forget there is a child in the car - SO with you. I think everybody is. That's the most awful thing about it, I think - it's not deliberate cruelty, or even casual neglect, but a hard-to-guard-against mental lapse with horrifying consequences. Anything people can do to ward it off is worth it, and I wish the auto industry would work to make it happen.

Edited for clarity ....

 

[Skippy123]

I honestly use to think this is something no parent could ever forget to do, take their kid out of a car. It is horrific but now being a mom I do not get the amount of sleep I use to (and need), so I can see how a parent may forget, especially parents that trade off dropping the kid off at daycare. I didn't read that article (as my heart can't handle to read it at this moment) but I did read an article awhile back ago about a mom who was an intelligent lady that would trade off taking her kid to daycare who had this happen to her, where her child died from being forgot in the backseat (the baby was asleep). I remember crying reading all this moms emotions and should of's but I think no one ever imagines this will happen to them. I do have mirrors for my boys so I can see them when I look back but I am not saying that will always remind me. I just think accidents are accidents and we never know when they happen.

 

[Laila619]

These cases are just such awful tragedies. Makes my heart break.

I am with Orbaya though. I just don't understand how one could forget. Whenever I drive with my son, I am always so nervous and cautious; all I'm thinking about is making sure I am driving safely and defensively because of him. In some ways, being such a worry wart has its advantages, because I could probably never be relaxed enough to forget he's in the car.

In almost all these cases, it's usually that the parents switched day care drop off duty, and the one parent who normally does not do the drop is the one who forgot. So sad.

 

[NovemberBride]

I read the article linked by Circe when it was published a few years ago and it has stuck with me more than any other article I have ever read and it is one of my worst nightmares as a parent. I don't understand how anyone can read that article and believe it is anything more than a tragic accident, although by reading the comments you can clearly see that many still vilify the parents. As has been suggested above, I always leave my work bag and laptop in the backseat so that I have to go into the backseat before going in my office. If DH and I switch drop-off and pick-up, we always call the other to let them know the drop-off has occurred. I think it is very dangerous to say/think "that could never happen to me". None of us are infallible and I'd bet my life that if you had asked any of the parents mentioned in the article if they could forget their child they would have said never. I think one thing that made the article hit home especially hard is that Gene Weingarten (author) included only incidents where there were no other factors at play (drugs, alcohol, past evidence of neglect). Where those factors are present, it's easy to say it couldn't happen to you. But by all accounts, the parents featured in the article were model parents, I believe one couple were doctors who had waited years to adopt their much-loved child. I don't have so much hubris to believe that I am so very different from these parents, so I'll take and any all precautions that I can.

Finally, as an attorney, I see no merit to prosecuting these parents where there are no other contributing factors. Prosecution and criminal punishment is designed for (i) deterence and (ii) punishment. Sending these parents to jail accomplishes neither. Since this is an accident, punishment can't serve a deterent effect and I guarantee these parents punish themselves far more than any jury ever could.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I read the article linked by Circe when it was published a few years ago and it has stuck with me more than any other article I have ever read and it is one of my worst nightmares as a parent. I don't understand how anyone can read that article and believe it is anything more than a tragic accident, although by reading the comments you can clearly see that many still vilify the parents. As has been suggested above, I always leave my work bag and laptop in the backseat so that I have to go into the backseat before going in my office. If DH and I switch drop-off and pick-up, we always call the other to let them know the drop-off has occurred. I think it is very dangerous to say/think "that could never happen to me". None of us are infallible and I'd bet my life that if you had asked any of the parents mentioned in the article if they could forget their child they would have said never. I think one thing that made the article hit home especially hard is that Gene Weingarten (author) included only incidents where there were no other factors at play (drugs, alcohol, past evidence of neglect). Where those factors are present, it's easy to say it couldn't happen to you. But by all accounts, the parents featured in the article were model parents, I believe one couple were doctors who had waited years to adopt their much-loved child. I don't have so much hubris to believe that I am so very different from these parents, so I'll take and any all precautions that I can.

Finally, as an attorney, I see no merit to prosecuting these parents where there are no other contributing factors. Prosecution and criminal punishment is designed for (i) deterence and (ii) punishment. Sending these parents to jail accomplishes neither. Since this is an accident, punishment can't serve a deterent effect and I guarantee these parents punish themselves far more than any jury ever could.

As the memory expert (I think it was the memory expert- my memory isn't so great either!) said, if you can forget your cellphone, you can forget your kid.

I live in the DC area and remember when the incident that Weingarten opens the article with happened. It is so terribly haunting.

 

[blackberry16]

I read the article linked by Circe when it was published a few years ago and it has stuck with me more than any other article I have ever read and it is one of my worst nightmares as a parent. I don't understand how anyone can read that article and believe it is anything more than a tragic accident, although by reading the comments you can clearly see that many still vilify the parents. As has been suggested above, I always leave my work bag and laptop in the backseat so that I have to go into the backseat before going in my office. If DH and I switch drop-off and pick-up, we always call the other to let them know the drop-off has occurred. I think it is very dangerous to say/think "that could never happen to me". None of us are infallible and I'd bet my life that if you had asked any of the parents mentioned in the article if they could forget their child they would have said never. I think one thing that made the article hit home especially hard is that Gene Weingarten (author) included only incidents where there were no other factors at play (drugs, alcohol, past evidence of neglect). Where those factors are present, it's easy to say it couldn't happen to you. But by all accounts, the parents featured in the article were model parents, I believe one couple were doctors who had waited years to adopt their much-loved child. I don't have so much hubris to believe that I am so very different from these parents, so I'll take and any all precautions that I can.



Finally, as an attorney, I see no merit to prosecuting these parents where there are no other contributing factors. Prosecution and criminal punishment is designed for (i) deterence and (ii) punishment. Sending these parents to jail accomplishes neither. Since this is an accident, punishment can't serve a deterent effect and I guarantee these parents punish themselves far more than any jury ever could.

I totally agree. When I see some of the horrible comments aimed at the parents (mostly posted on news websites) it damages my faith in humanity. Where is compassion and empathy?
As far as legal issues go, I think that if we prosecute parents for and accident like this we also have to do the same for accidental drowning, falls from unsecured windows and children getting hit by cars. No one ever demands the arrest of a parent for those kinds of tragic accidents.

Thanks everyone this has been a thought provoking discussion. Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way and worries about this type of accident.

 

[Puppmom]

As a pregnant mom to a toddler, I can totally see how this could happen. It's absolutely terrible for the parents. We're human. We make mistakes. We need to have compassion for people in these situations. They don't need us to tell them how big a mistake they made.

 

[blackberry16]

As a pregnant mom to a toddler, I can totally see how this could happen. It's absolutely terrible for the parents. We're human. We make mistakes. We need to have compassion for people in these situations. They don't need us to tell them how big a mistake they made.

Agreed!

 

[fieryred33143]

I haven't read entirely through so please forgive if this has been mentioned but one of the biggest and simplest advice I have received re: baby in the car is to leave your purse in the backseat. No woman leaves the car without her purse. If she does, she doesnt get far without it before turning around. For DH, if he uses a briefcase he can leave that in the back. Or if he has a cell phone, he can also leave that in the back.

I'm not going to get into the debate of HOW it could possibly happen. The psychology of it all has been explained and people either choose to understand that or not. Just wanted to pass along a very simple technique.

 

[blackberry16]

I haven't read entirely through so please forgive if this has been mentioned but one of the biggest and simplest advice I have received re: baby in the car is to leave your purse in the backseat. No woman leaves the car without her purse. If she does, she doesnt get far without it before turning around. For DH, if he uses a briefcase he can leave that in the back. Or if he has a cell phone, he can also leave that in the back.

I'm not going to get into the debate of HOW it could possibly happen. The psychology of it all has been explained and people either choose to understand that or not. Just wanted to pass along a very simple technique.

Thanks Fiery,
That technique has been working for us so far.Thanks for your input.

 

[sillyberry]

This exact topic came up earlier today before I read this thread. I took the bus home and only as I was walking to the front of my apartment building did I remember that I had driven to work today. It's not remotely the same, but it triggered in me a sense of total forgetfulness that was scary, and I thought of this article, which I've read a few times over the years.

Anyway, I want to give the tips that Kids and Cars suggests (most have been mentioned here):

• Put something you'll need like your cell phone, handbag, employee ID or brief case, etc., on the floor board in the back seat.
• Get in the habit of always opening the back door of your vehicle every time you reach your destination to make sure no child has been left behind. This will soon become a habit. We call this the “Look Before You Lock” campaign.
• Keep a large stuffed animal in the child's car seat when it’s not occupied. When the child is placed in the seat, put the stuffed animal in the front passenger seat. It's a visual reminder that anytime the stuffed animal is up front you know the child is in the back seat in a child safety seat.
• Make arrangements with your child’s day care center or babysitter that you will always call if your child will not be there on a particular day as scheduled.
o This is common courtesy and sets a good example that everyone who is involved in the care of your child is informed of their whereabouts on a daily basis. Ask them to phone you if your child doesn't show up when expected. Many children’s lives could have been saved with a telephone call from a concerned child care provider. Give child care providers all your telephone numbers, including that of an extra family member or friend, so they can always confirm the whereabouts of your child.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Honestly, you cannot forget your child in the car. Maybe there is a one in a billion case of this happening, but it is not normal. This is not something to spend your time worrying about.

ETA: To clarify, what I mean is this -- there are many horrible things that can possibly one in a million happen. This is one of them. But as a parent you have to weigh the reality of something happen and choose not to live in abject fear of all the myriad ways something terrible could happen. I feel like this is a case where the media and sensationalization of terrible tragedies does not help. My 2c. If this type of thing keeps you up nights frankly its time for an intervention with health professionals and an assessment for post-partum or another anxiety disorder.

I also think parents sometimes obsess about something as unlikely as this as a way of avoiding thinking about the cold fact that accidents -- and this is an example of terrible accidents one cannot likely avoid -- are totally out of our control.

 

[Circe]

... or it's a really affectingly written piece concerning a grotesque and easily preventable tragedy, and that's the sort of thing that sticks in people's heads. On the first count, the same can be said of, oh, the little princes in the tower, or Atonement: on the second, while, yeah, it's probably statistically more important to concentrate on driving carefully to avoid car accidents with infants on board ... nobody has written that kind of story about it. It's a loop. Not exactly the kind of fixation that calls for an emergency psych eval ....