Home Can''t stop feeling sad

[lydia]

My mom went home yesterday after spending a week with my husband and I. It was so wonderful having her here but now I just can''t stop crying and feeling so sad. We have lived 300 miles away from her for 23 years and this is the first time I feel so out of sorts. Any suggestions?

 

[Shoopy]

My mom lives about 300 miles away too. Every time I visit her or she visits me, I end up in tears and feel like I have this void in my life for a few days. I don''t really have any suggestions. I just wait until the feeling passes.

Big hugs

 

[kama_s]

I'm sorry you feel so crappy. Happens to me as well - my father lives in Dubai and so I see him once a year if I'm lucky (usually every 1.5-2 years). I always hold back tears at the airport. The feeling passes away though...takes me a few days to adjust living without him.

Try and occupy yourself with something fun - maybe nice walks, or board games.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

It''s always weird when a house guest leaves for me...like a little empty feeling you can''t chase away!

((big hugs)) it will get better. Why don''t you give her a call, I''m sure she misses you very much too!

 

[purrfectpear]

For me it gets more difficult as my parents get older. Now that they''re 78 I''m faced with the reality that they won''t live forever. Each time could be the last time. I know I''m lucky because so many of my peers have already lost a parent, or both.

 

[lydia]

You guys are all so great. Thanks for the hugs and well wishes. I feel bad for DH - I''m so sad and won''t let him comfort me. It makes it so much worse even if he gives me a hug. I have just never felt this sad in the 23 years we''ve been gone. We do see each other often which is why this is so strange to me. I''m hoping once I get back into my work routine tomorrow it will get better.

 

[basil]

For some reason, it''s much harder when my mom visits me here versus when I visit her at her house. I always wish she could stay longer.

 

[Octavia]

Basil, I''m just the opposite! It doesn''t bother me so much when my parents come here, but whenever I go home for a visit, I have this horrible dread of coming back to the city. It''s a really terrible feeling. If it wasn''t for FI, I think I''d just chuck it one of these days and stay there for good.

 

[icekid]

Date: 4/13/2009 8:28:22 PM
Author: Octavia
Basil, I''m just the opposite! It doesn''t bother me so much when my parents come here, but whenever I go home for a visit, I have this horrible dread of coming back to the city. It''s a really terrible feeling. If it wasn''t for FI, I think I''d just chuck it one of these days and stay there for good.

I am the same way! Being at home is comortable and familiar (and soooo much less stress than real life!!). I never want to return to real life from home with the fam

 

[Steel]

Awh you are all so great to love your Mothers so very much.

I''m sure she would not want you to be sad Lydia.

 

[bee*]

Sorry to hear that you''re feeling down Lydia. Definitely try and keep yourself occupied or I love looking at photos of the time she was with you if you have any that you can look at. That always cheers me up.

 

[lydia]

Thanks to all of you. Today started my work week which was a good thing to occupy my thoughts. Pictures are a great idea - My mom got a new little puppy while visiting and she is just the cutest little thing. Puts a smile on my face. I know my mom is enjoying her and that makes me happy. My mom is the best ever!

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 4/14/2009 11:35:25 AM
Author: Steel
Awh you are all so great to love your Mothers so very much.


I''m sure she would not want you to be sad Lydia.

Ditto. Your mum undoubtedly misses you terribly as well, why not send her some photos you took of your time together? My mum always does this for me, and I love it!

 

[Bia]

Date: 4/13/2009 6:07:59 PM
Author: fieryred33143
My mom lives about 300 miles away too. Every time I visit her or she visits me, I end up in tears and feel like I have this void in my life for a few days. I don''t really have any suggestions. I just wait until the feeling passes.

Big hugs

Me too. Everytime I leave my parent''s house, or they leave mine, I always cry and feel depressed for at least a day.

I think a part of me misses living at home and being their kid 24/7, not just on holidays or long weekends. My FI, although he tries, doesn''t understand because he sees his family every week.

So, again, no advice, just support from a fellow mommy-misser. (((hugs)))

 

[LaraOnline]

I don''t miss my mum at all, and haven''t since I moved out of home at age 18.

This thread is giving me hope that my daughter and I will be close!

 

[whitby_2773]

hi lydia

emotionally, we change all our lives. the things that upset us at one age don''t necessarily upset us when we''re older, and the things that didn''t before sometimes become upsetting issues for us as we age. in the same way, your relationship with your mother will change as you both age; as she ages, so saying goodbye to her after visits may well become more stressful to you. i did have one ''starting point'' question tho; how old are you? is there any chance you could be in either menopause or peri menopause? even if you''re not, now might be the time to go to the dr and have your hormone levels checked. try to find yourself a good endocrinologist. look for other changes in your regular emotional pattern and ask your spouse if they''ve noticed any changes either.

alternately, has your life in general been more stressful, or have you been facing more challenges or difficulties than normal? perhaps unconsciously your mom was providing a level of support at a period in your life which made her leaving particularly difficult this time around.

just a few thoughts....

 

[fisherofmengirly]

I can relate. My family''s on the West Coast and I''m on the East Coast. It''s hard and I don''t see them as often as I''d like to (a few times a year we visit, a few they visit), and whenever we are parted again, it''s like you go through the grieving process. One thing that helps me is to call often, send mail (packages!!! those are *so* fun!!), plan for our next visit, things like that.

Hoping you''re doing better as the days pass!!

 

[lydia]

Date: 4/16/2009 6:15:55 AM
Author: whitby_2773
hi lydia


emotionally, we change all our lives. the things that upset us at one age don''t necessarily upset us when we''re older, and the things that didn''t before sometimes become upsetting issues for us as we age. in the same way, your relationship with your mother will change as you both age; as she ages, so saying goodbye to her after visits may well become more stressful to you. i did have one ''starting point'' question tho; how old are you? is there any chance you could be in either menopause or peri menopause? even if you''re not, now might be the time to go to the dr and have your hormone levels checked. try to find yourself a good endocrinologist. look for other changes in your regular emotional pattern and ask your spouse if they''ve noticed any changes either.


alternately, has your life in general been more stressful, or have you been facing more challenges or difficulties than normal? perhaps unconsciously your mom was providing a level of support at a period in your life which made her leaving particularly difficult this time around.


just a few thoughts....

Whitby- I''m In that peri-menopause age group so, yes, my hormones may be playing tricks on me except for the fact that all else in my life seems to be great. I am feeling better and I guess maybe it was just a case of missing my mom and wishing I could spend more time with her. As a whole I am a very positive person and usually handle situations like this a lot better. Thanks for your thoughts - hopefully this will only be a one time deal

 

[AmberGretchen]

lydia - so glad to hear you are feeling happier!

 

[whitby_2773]

i''m glad things are cheering up lydia! and peri menopause is the time to get your hormones checked regardless of how we feel - it''s like a breast check or a pap smear - just somethng we all need to do.

i dont want anything messing with my moods, so i tend to take a proactive approach with this kind of thing; if i''m gonna cry, i want it to be about something worth my tears -not just because my hormones are rearing their ugly heads!

i intend to beat my hormones into submission till they do what i want them to do (dammit!)