Cancer question

[kenny]

Three months ago I posted that my best friend of 45 years had a cancerous tumor the size of a cantaloup in her uterus.
They removed all her reproductive organs, glands, parts of her intestines and put her on chemo.
She now weighs just 85 pounds.
It's been rough.

Yesterday she had her first CT scan since the surgery.
She told me she was terrified of poor tests results.
I fear the worst since she has not contacted me.

Should I contact her or wait for her to contact me?
If I should wait, how long before it seems I don't care?
A day or two, a week?

 

[dwj6211]

As someone who is going through a cancer issue in my own family at the moment. I can tell you first hand that you should absolutely reach out sooner than later.

Just be ready to offer support and encouragement if the news is bad.

If she simply is overwhelmed she won't answer just leave a message.

Don't let too much time go by it just makes it more awkward when you do speak.

 

[missy]

Kenny, I am so sorry that your friend is going through this. I would contact her and ask her what can you do for her. Whatever would help her whether that is just to sit and listen to her or run errands for her or just be there for her. I would not be afraid to reach out because it is good for her to know you are there for her even if she tells you right now she wants to be alone. At least she knows you are thinking of her and you care.

 

[AprilBaby]

Ditto, let her know you are thinking of her and want to know what you can do to help her.

 

[Jambalaya]

She only got the results yesterday. It could be very bad news. I would wait three days.

When my mother got the news that she was going to pass away in relatively short order, as close as we were, she didn't tell me for 2-3 days. She just needed to gather herself.

If you contact her three days, or four days after the test results, that is not long enough to make her think you don't care. If she weighs 85 pounds and things are as bad as you say, the news could well be the worst. I can't imagine being asked what the news is by friends the day after I'm told that I'm not long for this world - I would be spinning and unable to respond.

I think a good rule of thumb is to wait three days, when the situation is as serious as this. Let her catch her breath. JMO.

 

[monarch64]

Definitely contact her now. She can at least let you know if she wants or needs your attention right now or not. I know everyone deals with it differently, but I think it's universally human to not want to feel alone.

 

[dk168]

I would reach out now than later, and would ping that person a short text, something in the line of "Hope all is well", and leave it at that.

DK

 

[kenny]

Thank you all.
While email is less personal than a call or Skype it is less invasive/intrusive so I just sent an email.
She lives hundreds of miles away but I have the phone number of her close friend whom will get the news first.

 

[december-fire]

Kenny,

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

I'm glad to see that you've sent an email.

Immediately reaching out to your friend is what I was going to suggest.

After receiving bad news, a person might be in shock or unsure how to tell others, so may not take the initiative to pick up the phone and call friends to start the conversation.

However, answering a call from concerned friends can be easier. And a comfort, knowing that you care.

I think it will help your friend to know that you remembered she had the test yesterday and you're concerned about her.

Sending positive thoughts and hugs.

 

[kenny]

FWIW she just called with very good news.
The chemo is working and the tumors are shrinking!

She sounded very upbeat!
Thanks again all.

 

[missy]

FWIW she just called with very good news.
The chemo is working and the tumors are shrinking!

She sounded very upbeat!
Thanks again all.

Woohoo!!! Great news Kenny, thank you for sharing it with us. Best wishes to your friend for continued progress and healing!

 

[december-fire]

Kenny,

That's wonderful!

I hope her health continues to improve and that she makes a full recovery!

 

[Rockinruby]

FWIW she just called with very good news.
The chemo is working and the tumors are shrinking!

She sounded very upbeat!
Thanks again all.

Fantastic news!

 

[momhappy]

That's wonderful news, kenny!!!

 

[monarch64]

Amazing news, Kenny. Glad you reached out and thank you for posting and sharing here. I hope her treatment and recovery continue to be successful.

 

[VRBeauty]

FWIW she just called with very good news.
The chemo is working and the tumors are shrinking!

She sounded very upbeat!
Thanks again all.

That's wonderful news! And I'm glad you reached out to her!

 

[MissGotRocks]

That is wonderful news!!

 

[katharath]

It is nice to hear some good news! That's lovely. Best wishes for your friend.

 

[tyty333]

Great news! Dust for continued healing!

 

[kenny]

Thanks, all.

 

[marcy]

That is wonderful news Kenny!

 

[Sunstorm]

Soooo very happy to hear about this! Sending healing dust her way. This must be so scary.