can my girlfriend just wear engagement ring/no band??

[toddfj]

I like the look of rings with no wedding band--is this crazy?? Do I have to find a ring with a band or a band??

 

[cflutist]

One of the nice things about jewelry is that people have a choice. I have seen many women wear e-rings without bands (myself and my mother included), some that wear bridal sets, some that wear e-rings with bands, e-rings with diamond bands, and some that wear bands without e-rings. The choice is yours.

 

[Diamondsbybree]

I wear mine alone alot. Just depends on the mood I am in.

 

[headlight]

I don't wear a band. My ring is a three-stone ring and it is just my preference that I don't care for the look of a band with a three-stone ring as I think it ruins the look. So, no band for me.

 

[icelady]

I don't wear a band either. Some ring styles do not lend themselves to wearing a band with them. What does your SO like? Does she like the look of the two rings or does she prefer only one?

 

[Jennifer5973]

Absolutely. There are no rules, just what you/she likes.

An alternative, if she is lucky to have the same ring size on both the right and left ring fingers (I don't) is the option of getting a "set" that works alone or apart, so she can wear the ring on the left hand and the band on the right, or vice-versa.

However, many women I know just have one ring made, often with some sort of side stones/design and just wear that. It's up to you! Have fun!

 

[reena]

hi, i don't anticipate wearing a band with my e-ring, either. the design makes it sort of a "standalone" ring, and i'm not sure i could wear a w-band with it without gapping. at first i was disappointed, but then i realized this meant i could get a really fun eternity band or similar to wear on my right hand as my wedding band.

good luck!

 

[fire&ice]

Well, I'm the dissenting voice. Yes, I *do* think it's important to wear a wedding band. It's a circle w/ a symbol. You exchange rings at the service. Is the e-ring going to be that ring?

I treasure my wedding band significantly more than my e-ring. And, for the most part wear it all the time.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

----------------
I treasure my wedding band significantly more than my e-ring. And, for the most part wear it all the time. ----------------

I treasure my wedding band as well and wear it regardless if I wear my diamond or not. The thing is, I think any person should wear what they like. I've been looking at settings and finding numerous ones i love that wouldn't go with my band and am thinking that it would be better just to get another simple solitaire setting to keep my wedding band on my finger.

But, I do disagree that the eng. ring CAN'T be the symbolic ring. Just do what you like. . .Ooops, I mean go along with what your GF likes. THIS is what's most important. A happy marriage = going along with the wife. Learn and live by this rule!

Michelle

 

[Mara]

This is not uncommon....I have heard if you do a e-ring with no band that you should get a very strong piece for the ring. Aka something like a 2mm solitaire is obviously an engagement ring and I think that would be a bit odd with no w-ring...people would always be asking when the wedding was...but if it was a 5mm piece with side diamonds or something on the band then it looks more as though it can carry it's own weight on the hand.




My old coworker had a 4.5mm twisted gold and platinum band with a cathedral head for the stone. It was a strong piece and very pretty and it was her after marriage upgrade, so she wore it solely....no w-ring.

 

[fire&ice]

My point is that a ring *is* exchanged as part of the ceremony. If you aren't going to follow traditional ceremony than do anything you like. If you are incorporating that into your ceremony, then use that ring as your wedding band.

And, I agree with Mara that if you choose one ring then make it "appear" more like a band. People do check marital status by what ring is worn. Assumptions are made.

 

[Hest88]

If you're speaking for yourself and not your GF, then I would say this is a decision you can't make for her. She will be the one wearing the e-ring and she will be the one wearing either a wedding band or not. Luckily for you, you don't really have to worry about the w-ring at this stage; your responsibility is to buy her the e-ring and then the two of you can discuss the w-ring issue together.

I would caution you not to pressure her though. Your concern sounds like it revolves merely around the appearance but she may want the w-ring because it has a large symbolic significance. Both the e-ring and the w-ring are not just about how they look; to many people they are tangible symbols of their engagement and commitment to marriage.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

----------------
On 10/17/2004 1:51:55 PM fire&ice wrote:

My point is that a ring *is* exchanged as part of the ceremony.
----------------

Yes, I understand this. I was thinking that a couple could, if only a thick eng. ring was chosen, make this apart of the wedding ceremony. Just an idea. There's a lot of options and as mentioned, it's what the GF wants, not what we think. Oh, I guess I shouldn't even be posting anything as my husband and I eloped in Vegas (LOL -

) & I'm not much for tradition (though, we do plan to have a formal ceremony in Hawaii in a few years).

 

[Patty]

My first reaction to your question is "Of course, you can do whatever you want to do!" But, I myself am not comfortable wearing just my 3-stone ring on my left hand without a wedding band.




My wedding ring is 8mms wide and I had it made so that I could wear it alone which I do (although I sometimes add a 2mm band with it). I agree that a solitaire looks odd on someone who is married but other styles, espcially those that are wider can pass as a wedding ring or engagement ring.

 

[Sparkster]

It's all about personal choice. I know people who only wear an e-ring and I know others who ony wear a w-ring. I think it's something you should both discuss and whatever happens, you should both be happy about the choice.

 

[Nicrez]

I agree with F&I. Wedding ring trumps the e-ring.

E-ring says "I promise to marry you..." while the wedding ring says, "I marry you until death do us part"... so big diamond or not, the wedding ring is not only the last (latest) promise to each other, but also the strongest...

People I know who have substantial e-rings, tend to wear those on another hand, if they have substantial wedding bands (ie: 30+ pointer stones in an eternity ring or the like)...

I personally would wear a wedding band BEFORE the e-ring on my ring finger. If they both fit, I will wear it that way, but if they are both too big or bulky, then I'll have the wedding ring on my left ring finger, and my e-ring on my right ring finger...

Either way, good luck!

 

[canuk-gal]

----------------
On 10/17/2004 8:23:18 PM Nicrez wrote:

I agree with F&I. Wedding ring trumps the e-ring.

E-ring says 'I promise to marry you...' while the wedding ring says, 'I marry you until death do us part'... so big diamond or not, the wedding ring is not only the last (latest) promise to each other, but also the strongest...

HI:

Nice sentiment Nicrez!

I know several women on whom I have never seen them wear a w/b--and I admit to liking the "clean" look of just the ER....That said I know others whose ER's and WB are simply too wide to wear together (short fingers..) and the ER then becomes a RHR.
Whatever rocks your world!!!

cheers

Sharon

 

[Sparkster]

----------------
On 10/17/2004 8:23:18 PM Nicrez wrote:






I personally would wear a wedding band BEFORE the e-ring on my ring finger. If they both fit, I will wear it that way, but if they are both too big or bulky, then I'll have the wedding ring on my left ring finger, and my e-ring on my right ring finger...

----------------

I've heard the tradition that you wear the wedding ring first because it's closer to the heart. Is this the reason that others do this?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

----------------
I personally would wear a wedding band BEFORE the e-ring on my ring finger. If they both fit, I will wear it that way, but if they are both too big or bulky, then I'll have the wedding ring on my left ring finger, and my e-ring on my right ring finger...

Either way, good luck!----------------

Nicrez - when is your wedding or have you already had your ceremony?

 

[fire&ice]

----------------
On 10/17/2004 9:38:32 PM Sparkster wrote:

----------------
On 10/17/2004 8:23:18 PM Nicrez wrote:




I personally would wear a wedding band BEFORE the e-ring on my ring finger. If they both fit, I will wear it that way, but if they are both too big or bulky, then I'll have the wedding ring on my left ring finger, and my e-ring on my right ring finger...

----------------

I've heard the tradition that you wear the wedding ring first because it's closer to the heart. Is this the reason that others do this?
----------------

Yes, that's the sentiment.

 

[Nicrez]

MichelleCarmen,

Our wedding is on August 12th, 2005. We have the place, and the dress, but frankly nothing else. In the coming weeks, I will likely post (a la Mara) the details of the wedding (or prospective details) in hope that people will help me with ideas and give me some good vendors in the area to try.

We had to ditch the whole Carribbean Destination Wedding

and opt for a NY wedding, because of the griping family on MY side...

So from the original budget, we just spent the whole budget we planned for the ENTIRE destination wedding on the reception alone (and then some!)... Don't even ask how crazy I was to get the dress I did at three times my original budget!!

We're looking at the average priced NY wedding, and I don't think I can handle seeing the bills. Sadly, I am the one in charge of finances and cutting the checks... *sigh*

 

[MichelleCarmen]

lol - Okay, funny but I thought you & your fiance were suppose to be married last month

Way off on this one! lol Too many people/dates to keep track of.

Good luck and sorry to hear that you had to scrap the Carribbean wedding for the more pricey NY-style affair. Hope you have a fabulous day regardless of location.

Oh, post photos of your dress if you're comfortable doing so. I'd love to see it!

Michelle

 

[alexah]

----------------
On 10/18/2004 1:39:28 PM Nicrez wrote:


We had to ditch the whole Carribbean Destination Wedding

and opt for a NY wedding, because of the griping family on MY side...

----------------

Yeah- i *can't wait* til the holidays- i'm not going to hear the end of it... we're doing the Carribbean destination wedding w immediate family only & the grumblings are already pretty fierce

It's really tough not to give in & have the wedding they've always dreamed of, as opposed to the wedding we've always wanted...

 

[Iceman]

Im coming in late on this topic so again just throwing in my 2 cents.


It seems like half and half on this with customers.

Half say I want two bands (mostly first timers and young people)
the other half tells me that a thick band looks like two rings anyway. Lots of over 30's do this. People look at that finger and if they see something on it they know. Engaged or Married same thing to a single person.

The style is both. If somebody questions it they are miss informed.

The Iceman

 

[fire&ice]

----------------
On 10/18/2004 2:30:22 PM Iceman wrote:

Im coming in late on this topic so again just throwing in my 2 cents.


It seems like half and half on this with customers.

Half say I want two bands (mostly first timers and young people)
the other half tells me that a thick band looks like two rings anyway. Lots of over 30's do this. People look at that finger and if they see something on it they know. Engaged or Married same thing to a single person.

The style is both. If somebody questions it they are miss informed.

The Iceman----------------

That is simply not true. When I was younger, I was asked if I was married all the time because my wedding band was all diamonds. People assumed that it was part of my e-ring & not my wedding band.

And, I don't think this should be about "style".

 

[LostNWonderland]

Nicrez- your wedding date is 6 days after mine! We are so close to being date buddies....congratulations!

 

[LostNWonderland]

Todd- When my fiance and I started looking, we didn't like the look of the wedding band with the ring. We thought about just getting a thicker band. My fiance is still set on this idea, however, from my other friend's experience, I think I would like a wedding band now just because it is a definite signal that we are married, also so that there is something for us to exchange during the ceremony.

But there is definitely nothing wrong with just an engagement setting alone. But I do think that it will need to be a piece that can stand alone. I think you should ask your fiancee what she thinks, in case she has her own thoughts.
IMO

 

[Bagpuss]

I must admit that in the UK it would be very unusual to only wear your e-ring after the marriage ceremony. Here, at least, e-ring alone = engaged , band ring + e-ring = married, band ring alone = long time married.

I'd feel very odd wearing just my e-ring on my left hand while just my wedding band would be perfectly acceptable, but then I've been married a very very very long time.

 

[Hest88]

Bagpuss, it would be unusual here in the U.S. too, but more people are doing it.

Like F&I, my w-ring means a lot more to me than my e-ring, so I would never give up the symbolism of being married by using just one ring.

 

[Daniela]

I have to disagree with Fire&Ice on this one (amicably, of course!). I think it is about style to a certain extent. If it weren't, then people wouldn't spend hours and hours on Pricescope picking out their wedding bands.

Another Pricescoper once pointed out as well that in South America, everyone wears their wedding band on their right hand.

All that to say, do what works for you. Do I get sick of answering people's questions about why I wear my engagement ring and wedding band on separate hands? Yes. Do I think it's anybody's business but mine? Absolutely not. Besides, this is how trends get started: A few people go against the grain, and then no one thinks it's weird anymore.

For me, there is also a comfort issue. Two rings on one hand isn't as comfortable for me.