can i just wear this?

[cortana]

hello all!
iv been married for going on 3 years, but looking to upgrade the rings for the anniversary. my problem is i dont like the the look of stacks of rings so id rather replace what i have than add to it. will something like this look ok alone, or will it look too engagementy? i want people to know im married! the other thing i was considering was to just wear an eternity band (still upgrading and replacing)
Let me know what yall think! thanks

 

[lucyandroger]

Hi there

I was actually considering the same exact ring as an engagement ring/ w-band all in one. However, I went to go see the setting in person at a local B&M and the setting is actually much daintier than it seems online. I still loved it but I decided that it wouldn't suit my needs. Also, the center diamond is set pretty high so it definitely gives off the engagementy feel.

You could always have a ring custom made that would probably cost less than that Scott Kay setting and make it a little bit thicker and set the diamond a little bit lower.

I do think it's a lovely ring but I would definitely suggest you try to see it in person first! Hope that helps!

 

[musey]

Honestly, the first thought I would have seeing that ring is "engaged," not "married." For whatever that''s worth.

HOWEVER, what is the most important here is that you love what you have. Would you LOVE this ring as your wedding ring? Will you be happiest with that rather than something else? If so, it doesn''t matter at all what other people identify it as.

 

[cortana]

thanks again yall
lucy and roger, i was thinking the dainty is what i like. i dont like thick clunky rings, but i do like sparkle! do you remember about how thick the band was in mm? i was wanting no more than 4... i also thought maybe going custom and geting the diamond set lower like you said. musey, would that help your thought? i do agree that my opinion is most important (followed by my hubbys) but our family is very traditional and i m not sure what they would think.

 

[D&T]

I think its beautiful and a gorgeous look.

I have a friend who only wears her ering (only ring), its a bypass faux tension look ring that is hard to have a band next to it, and she''s been married for over 9 years. Its a great look.

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 5/4/2009 5:48:31 PM
Author: cortana
thanks again yall
lucy and roger, i was thinking the dainty is what i like. i dont like thick clunky rings, but i do like sparkle! do you remember about how thick the band was in mm? i was wanting no more than 4... i also thought maybe going custom and geting the diamond set lower like you said. musey, would that help your thought? i do agree that my opinion is most important (followed by my hubbys) but our family is very traditional and i m not sure what they would think.

If you''re looking for dainty, then this may very well be the ring for you. It definitely wasn''t more than 4mm wide...maybe 3.5 at its widest. So the actual arms of the split shank were tiny. It really was a lovely ring...

 

[Rhea]

It''s a lovely ring. If I saw it I wouldn''t think that you were either married or engaged. I simply don''t see rings and think like that. I do generally think that a ring on left ring finger means partnered.

 

[motownmama]

People who KNOW you obviously know your status. However, I remember saying to one of the nurses at my docotr''s office - "Oh, I see you got engaged..." But, no she was married, but only wore what looked like an er to me - It certainly didn''t matter to me and I wasn''t embarassed or anything, but I personally wouldn''t want to field the questions, and I wasn''t being mean or nosy - I was just making conversation.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

You should wear what you like, the way you like it!
I will wear my three stone on my left ring finger by itself and only once has anyone thought that I was engaged instead of married...well, only one time that anyone has said anything to me.

 

[musey]

Date: 5/4/2009 5:48:31 PM
Author: cortana
i also thought maybe going custom and geting the diamond set lower like you said. musey, would that help your thought? i do agree that my opinion is most important (followed by my hubbys) but our family is very traditional and i m not sure what they would think.

I don't think so, height of a stone is not what makes me think "engagement ring." It's the prominence of a center stone at all.

I don't think I'd think "wedding ring" for any solitaire-ish ring. Probably not for any three-stone either. For five or more stones, where they are all closer to the same size (no prominent "center stone"), yes.

But again, that's just what my immediate mental note is when I see such a ring. It doesn't make you any less married to have a ring that doesn't scream "married" to others. My cousin lost her diamond out of her soldered wedding set years ago and they haven't been able to replace it, so she wears a cheapie silver and turquoise ring. I highly doubt that the majority of people see it and think "wedding ring," but she is indeed married, nonetheless

For your family - they know you're married, obviously, so do you think they'd even notice or care what your wedding ring looks like?

I always hesitate to weigh in on these "does it look like a wedding ring" threads because saying "no" often causes the OP to feel some conflict, and that's not really fair. I really don't think you should make such expensive choices as what type of ring to have based on the message you want it to send - choose based on what you love.

 

[kcoursolle]

I think you could, but I think the others are right in that some people may not know that you are married. I personally wouldn''t have an issue with this (and did consider just wearing a split shank originally), but you''ll have to decide whether you care if people don''t know that you are married. The single eternity band would definitely help think that people know you are married (and is a stunning classic look), but in the mean time people may think that you are married and not engaged.

 

[kcoursolle]

Another thing to mention is that you should consider wearing your e-ring and wedding band on separate hands. This should clear up any confusion and will also avoid the stacked look you don''t like. I actually do this...

 

[Stone Hunter]

For me it looks like the center stone is set too high. I tried a high setting with my stone and hated it. But it was just at the jewelers while trying to pick a setting. Please see it and then if YOU like it go for it!

 

[Circe]

Date: 5/4/2009 6:12:41 PM
Author: Addy
It''s a lovely ring. If I saw it I wouldn''t think that you were either married or engaged. I simply don''t see rings and think like that. I do generally think that a ring on left ring finger means partnered.

I really like how you phrased this, Addy! Ditto this.

Cortana - I think the ring you''ve chosen looks lovely, and if I saw you wearing it, the only thing that would pop out of my mouth would be a compliment. Your worst case scenario is that maybe someone asks you when you''re getting married, and you tell them it''s already a done deal ... and go back to enjoying your ring. An eternity band would look more traditionally "married," but would it make you happier on a day to day basis?

 

[lucyandroger]

Cortana,

Pearlmans carries this setting here: link. I''ve heard of them sending out settings with CZs for people to try out before buying. I''m not sure if they require some sort of deposit or something. This could be a way for you to try out the setting and see if you like it. It''s worth giving them a call.

Also, I just wanted to say that I totally understand where you''re coming from...It''s easy to say "who cares what everyone else thinks" but we don''t live in a vacuum and what other people think about your ring may actually end up affecting how you feel about your ring. So I understand your concerns.

FWIW, I actually had a three stone (.5, .75, .5) with bead set diamonds on the shank for a previous engagement. We got it from a B&M and it was advertised as an anniversary ring. I had more than a couple people think I was already married...