Can I just be whiney and irrational for a minute?

[blacksand]

I really try not to be THAT GIRL who keeps posting about OMG, why won't he propose already. Especially since I know exactly why he won't propose. He's just paid the deposit and first month's rent at our new [awesome] house. We need to buy some furniture still, pay overlapping rent for our old places for a month, and oh yeah, it's time for Christmas shopping! So I get that the ring reset and proposal are just not top priority right now. I know we need some time to get settled and I know it's coming soon after that. I have nothing to be upset about.

But I just found out that ALL of my cousins will be home for Christmas. ALL of them. Two of whom live in France, two in Serbia, and my cousin-sister-best-friend-future-MoH, who lives in Florida and has not been home for Christmas in 8 long years! This is unprecedented, an amazing family gathering the likes of which we have not had since I was very young. And I'm very excited.

But I can't help it. All I can think is what a perfect opportunity this would be to announce our engagement. Everyone would be there to celebrate. I could actually ask my cousin to be my MoH in person. It would be such an amazing and special way to spend the holidays. We won't have another gathering like this. We probably won't even be able to get all of these people together on our wedding day (though we'll certainly try!).

I know our proposal will be amazing and special. It will be just the two of us, and I will love it. And then we will announce our engagement to everyone by phone or by e-mail. Everyone will still be excited, and they'll come for the wedding if they can. I know it will be wonderful. I know I am being unreasonable, selfish, and whiney. I know we have lots of wonderful things to celebrate right now, and I should focus on those things instead of waiting for a proposal. Feel free to tell me how irrational I am being in your comments. I just needed to get that off my chest. Now, off to work on readjusting my priorities....

 

[Jessie702]

Black, as silly as this is going to sound, i completely understand your point. You feel it would be the perfect time to announce things and celebrate. I completely get that, BUT you dont want to rush your SO, espically when it comes to your ring, and the whole engagement/proposal moment. All i can say is relax and just enjoy your new home. I completely understand about there being perfect moments, ask me how i know. my SO seems to find the perfect places . I say you be whiny to us, get it off your chest, enjoy your home, and enjoy your holiday. When the time is right, he will propose.

 

[ms.halo]

I know you have your heart set on a VC setting, but what if you had your diamond set in a temp setting for now so he could propose sooner? Then the VC setting could be ordered in time for your 30th...

 

[PrincessNatalie]

I feel whiny for you.

How perfect it would have been!! *grumble*

I truly hope he is just throwing you off the scent.

 

[kagordo4]

I know you have your heart set on a VC setting, but what if you had your diamond set in a temp setting for now so he could propose sooner? Then the VC setting could be ordered in time for your 30th...

I agree, I KNOW you really love the VC but... a solitaire could be an awesome "place-holder" and they're not very expensive. : )

I feel for you, I promise!! I'm totally hoping things work out!

 

[beesha77]

Oh man I would be frustrated too!! I will be really, really bummed if my bf doesn't pop the question by the end of the year! I understand your frustration! Perfect opportunity hello?!!

 

[blacksand]

Well thank you all for tolerating me!

Placeholder settings, including the setting the stone is ALREADY IN (hello? Just put it on my finger!) have been discussed and were overwhelmingly and immediately vetoed. Boyfriend would apparently be just mortified if I showed friends and family anything less than sheer perfection. Me? I'm fine with a ring of braided grass from the lawn, but the boyfriend apparently feels he has something to prove. Sigh. In fairness, money is only part of the issue. With all the craziness of moving, I think he is just a bit too stressed to plan a proposal at the moment. I don't blame him. I really don't. As soon as things settle down from the move, I'm sure we'll be moving things along, but he's the kind of guy who eats all of the French fries before starting in on the burger, you know? He can only focus on one project at a time. Which is probably wise. I should do that, too. Instead of saying "Okay, this box is packed. And we will need throw pillows for the new house; let's go to Ikea. And awwww, my bunny just did something cute! And when are you proposing to me again?"

It will be good. We will have a nice new place and a lovely Christmas with family. All is well.

 

[Amys Bling]

totally understand. For about 6 months all these great opportunities kept coming up and I was like- what the heck??? do it now!

Totally normal to feel this way. Just think how excited you will be when it does happen

 

[kagordo4]

Well thank you all for tolerating me!

Placeholder settings, including the setting the stone is ALREADY IN (hello? Just put it on my finger!)

Opps With all the drama going on else where in the forum I totally forgot the stone is already set, my bad : )

 

[blacksand]

No worries, kagordo! There is much drama indeed, on the internets these days. I am trying to decide between attempting to keep up with it all or re-reading Harry Potter. Ultimately, I think Harry Potter will be fewer pages of reading!

But yes, the stone is still in my grandmother's setting; we haven't touched it yet. It's not my style, but I don't see why it couldn't be a placeholder setting for us. It's not like I don't wear it around the house in my grandmother's setting already...*whistles innocently*. But alas, placeholders of all shapes and sizes have been irrevocably vetoed. So...we wait.

 

[4ever]

That does sound like a good oppertunity to announce your engagement....blast bad timing!

Still, i'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

No worries, kagordo! There is much drama indeed, on the internets these days. I am trying to decide between attempting to keep up with it all or re-reading Harry Potter. Ultimately, I think Harry Potter will be fewer pages of reading!

But yes, the stone is still in my grandmother's setting; we haven't touched it yet. It's not my style, but I don't see why it couldn't be a placeholder setting for us. It's not like I don't wear it around the house in my grandmother's setting already...*whistles innocently*. But alas, placeholders of all shapes and sizes have been irrevocably vetoed. So...we wait.

OOOH Harry Potter!! I say re-read the whole series and keep your mind off the excruciating wait. I love Harry Potter

 

[Autumnovember]

There were so many amazing moments my SO could have proposed to me but the day he actually proposed was just as magical as any of those other times he could have proposed. It was special in its own way and so us. So, whatever your SO decides to do for your proposal, you're gonna to really love it (without a doubt) even if it isn't when everyone is there.

 

[blacksand]

Yes, I know it will be wonderful whenever it is. You are right, of course. I should focus on that. And maybe Harry Potter.

 

[Indylady]

I was going to suggest a temp too. Boo.

Lots of fun holiday dust!! Maybe this will even help break the ice for your family, and they'll be even more excited for the both of you when you announce your engagement (and they'll get to wish him congrats without feeling awkward since they will have met him by then).

 

[blacksand]

Thanks Indy. Everyone has actually met him before at one point or another...he's pretty well-loved in the family by now! But it's the first (and possibly only) time we'll all be in the same place at the same time. It's very exciting, and it will be fun, even without a proposal.

 

[NakedFinger]

There were so many amazing moments my SO could have proposed to me but the day he actually proposed was just as magical as any of those other times he could have proposed. It was special in its own way and so us. So, whatever your SO decides to do for your proposal, you're gonna to really love it (without a doubt) even if it isn't when everyone is there.

I am going to ditto Autumn on this. I kept swearing it would be the perfect scenario for my husband to propose on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, etc so that I could share it with the family. Instead, he did it on 1/7. Just a random Thursday morning, right after all the holidays. And you know what? I wouldn't have had it any other way. It wasn't on an "expected" day both by me and our families, etc (everyone really thought it was happening for Christmas, lol). It completely caught me off guard, and was so intimate and personal. We got to share it personally with each other for a moment, before calling/seeing a million people.

All I'm saying...is would it be nice to get all out in one shot and tell everyone in person, and be a convenient time for him to propose? Yes. But when he chooses to do it, on his time, not because it "works out better", the timing wont matter at all to you. Like you said, everyone will be equally as excited after Christmas, over the phone if necessary.

 

[violet3]

I have to be honest, my hubs was going to propose before xmas 2 years ago, and it didn't happen. I'm actually REALLY glad it didn't - it would have been a LOT of pressure (i have a huge family) at christmas time. the jeweler even offered him a temporary ring so we could have it for christmas and he said no. I am so glad he did, because we got engaged in the middle of January, and it was SO much more intimate - we had a great time telling people, but the fact that it was a really personal event was so much more special than getting engaged right before christmas and getting bombarded by everyone at christmas time. it's truly a great memory.