Calling @joelly - Getting ready for Baby
- Thread starter LLJsmom
- Start date
- Joined
- May 11, 2013
- Messages
- 7,570
wow! I'm 66, had one son at 35 other at 39. I thought my deep, dark dirty secret was I didn't bond with my first son, I felt miserable, what I thought would be great was really hard, plus both times I wanted a girl, did not want boys.. I wouldn't change a thing today.
I just felt fear, fear he'd die, fear he'd get sick, FEAR I WASN'T A GOOD MOTHER, fear fear fear, but as all here say, time does help and finally I feel I was a good mother and my son's tell me I was.. not sure I was ever ready to have a kid really, life happened to me more than I controlled my life.
I had gestational diabetes, cholistatis of pregnancy, nausea, I itched for months (that was the liver thing and I don't even want to go into how the doctors were idiots).
But I too had my son give me a huge diamond he bought with his cub-scout pack years ago, they went to a rock place and he saw the big plastic diamond and gave it to me for mother's day, I blabbered and I still blabber when I look at it, this son also gave me all his rings he acquired playing little kid video games with his tickets. I mean you just can't understand this love and with that goes guilt for me, be nice to yourself, you deserve it, I read today that pregnancy causes the female body to almost go past what is humanly possible to experience, that says a lot to me.
I never breast fed either kid, and both are computer programmers today. They are math heads and logic guys.. screw what every one thinks and says.
I think motherhood is only enjoyable in hindsight - as I said, I wouldn't change a thing. (and I now have a 7 week old granddaughter! so I got my girl finally
)
I just felt fear, fear he'd die, fear he'd get sick, FEAR I WASN'T A GOOD MOTHER, fear fear fear, but as all here say, time does help and finally I feel I was a good mother and my son's tell me I was.. not sure I was ever ready to have a kid really, life happened to me more than I controlled my life.
I had gestational diabetes, cholistatis of pregnancy, nausea, I itched for months (that was the liver thing and I don't even want to go into how the doctors were idiots).
But I too had my son give me a huge diamond he bought with his cub-scout pack years ago, they went to a rock place and he saw the big plastic diamond and gave it to me for mother's day, I blabbered and I still blabber when I look at it, this son also gave me all his rings he acquired playing little kid video games with his tickets. I mean you just can't understand this love and with that goes guilt for me, be nice to yourself, you deserve it, I read today that pregnancy causes the female body to almost go past what is humanly possible to experience, that says a lot to me.
I never breast fed either kid, and both are computer programmers today. They are math heads and logic guys.. screw what every one thinks and says.
I think motherhood is only enjoyable in hindsight - as I said, I wouldn't change a thing. (and I now have a 7 week old granddaughter! so I got my girl finally
)
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2004
- Messages
- 33,852
Congrats!, Please let me know if you need help changing diapers.
Congrats! No matter what happens, or how you feel, it definitely gets better! When they are 30 years old, they are lifesavers, and generally just great people you couldn't do without. Try to keep that in mind. And if you think 30 years is a long time, it just flies by.
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2015
- Messages
- 1,080
MamaBee
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2018
- Messages
- 14,508
@joelly ..I had two c-sections..I found my bed pillow over my incision on my lap helped when I was holding the baby. It provided a cushion over the incision so the baby could rest on it instead of on it directly. When I fed the baby I used two to bring the baby up higher..A nursing pillow is great but in the first few weeks you’ll need a little something extra there..The bed pillow made it much more comfortable for me. You will heal quickly but don’t over do....You’ll be excited you had the baby..and may feel ambitious..Resist that urge and rest and nap when the baby is sleeping.. She is absolutely precious!
She is absolutely precious!
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2014
- Messages
- 1,655
Wow she is gorgeous and so serene in that photo. Hope you are feeling ok.
Ooh, I love to give advice! Two things come to mind right now:
1) A lot of the things I and the other mothers I knew at the time agonized over don't matter that much in the long run. Now that all the kids are grown, I can't tell the bottle fed, family bed, homeschooled, daycare kids from the breastfed, sleep trained, public school, stay-home mom kids at all.
2) If someone- anyone- is judgy and non-supportive of your parenting without damn good cause, don't tell them your business anymore. It saved us tons of unhappiness, once we caught on to this simple trick.
3) For those who have a partner, don't forget each other. Date night is not an extra, it's a necessity.
1) A lot of the things I and the other mothers I knew at the time agonized over don't matter that much in the long run. Now that all the kids are grown, I can't tell the bottle fed, family bed, homeschooled, daycare kids from the breastfed, sleep trained, public school, stay-home mom kids at all.
2) If someone- anyone- is judgy and non-supportive of your parenting without damn good cause, don't tell them your business anymore. It saved us tons of unhappiness, once we caught on to this simple trick.
3) For those who have a partner, don't forget each other. Date night is not an extra, it's a necessity.
joelly
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2009
- Messages
- 2,378
Thank you!!! I’m still struggling to recover. Her name is Samantha.
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2018
- Messages
- 329
Beautiful name!!
Now listen my dear, it hasn't even been a week since you had a c section! no one in their right mind is expecting you to be recovered in any way. Be kind to yourself hun! How is hubby adjusting, are you getting some helpful support from him and family/friends?
Now listen my dear, it hasn't even been a week since you had a c section! no one in their right mind is expecting you to be recovered in any way. Be kind to yourself hun! How is hubby adjusting, are you getting some helpful support from him and family/friends?
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2014
- Messages
- 9,244
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