Calling all Mother -In-Laws!

[IndiBlue]

Ladies, I need some HELP!

I''ve recently (in the last week) got engaged. Why my FI purposed he purposed without a ring. In the last week his mother has offered to give him the diamond from her wedding ring to his father (they''ve been divorced for about 10 years now). The diamond originally was my FI''s father''s Aunts (so we''re talking 100 or so years old!)

At first, she was kind of reluctant to give it to us- as I''m sure it means alot of her- but did because she recognizes that it''s a family heirloom and also will save us some major bucks!

My FI''s parents were married in 1976 so we''re talking major 70''s jewelery! The ring is a 6mm 14kt Gold band (think cigar wrapper type) with the diamond mounted to the top....Obviously not anything I''m interested in keeping or wearing.

Here''s my thought- PLEASE tell me if you think I''m nuts.....

We''re going to the Jeweler today to have the stone removed. I thinking of asking him to put a gem stone back in her setting. Or maybe even adding two smaller ones to the side.... and giving it back to her, kind of a symbol of my appreciation to her.

Her B-day is this month, so Amethyst would look really nice with the gold.

My fear is that she might not like it or be offended that I would alter her ring.

ANY thoughts?

 

[SoonIHope]

I think that''s a fantastic idea! She obviously doesn''t mind the ring being altered since she''s willing to let you take the stone out of it, and otherwise the setting by itself would go to waste. The only thing I would be concerned about is that she might not want to wear what was once a symbol of love for her ex-husband.... However, I think that since she has still kept the ring and was at first feeling conflicted about giving you the stone, it sounds like she still does like and appreciate the ring, and she would probably love to give it new meaning in the form of a gift from her future daughter in law! I say go for it; if worst comes to worst she''ll definitely appreciate the gesture, just might not wear it a lot!

 

[Caribou]

I''m not a mother in law, so can I give my thoughts.

My mom gave me here wedding diamonds for my 21st b-day. My parents had been divorced at that time for about 19 years. They were married in the 60''s, major 60''s jeweler...not pretty. Anywho, I had the diamonds set in a gold ring, center stone, garnet on each side (her birth stone is ruby, I could only afford a garnet) diamond on each side, then garnet again. It turned out really pretty. My mom was there with me when I picked it out.

Maybe you should ask her what her thought about it is and then involved her in it, she obviously cares enough about you to give you an heirloom, maybe it would mean a lot to her if you did something like that for her. I think it sounds nice.

 

[widget]

I''m a MIL and I think it''s a very nice, thoughtful idea...

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[IndiBlue]

Good thoughts, Ladies! Thanks!

My FI is an only child so I think that if I make it a 3 stone ring, it might symbolize more. (ie, me being added to their family).

 

[AGBF]

It is a lovely gesture, but perhaps she does want to wear the ring of a man from whom she was divorced? Not knowing her or how she felt about her ex-husband, I do not know if she will enjoy the ring as much as you hope. (Unless she was wearing this ring up until now? That would change everything!)

I know it would spoil the surprise, but i think I agree with Caribou that you should ask her. To make it a surprise, perhaps you could draw the ring you envision and give her a picture of it, asking if she would wear the ring you had been hoping to give her.

I'm not sure. Oh! And I am not a mother-in-law, either! But I had one!


Deb

 

[IndiBlue]

I had thought of that ABGF...

I''m not really so concerned with how she feels about the ring being from her ex-husband- They are still VERY good friends and her current husband and my FFIL are great friends as well. It''s a great family!

I''m more concerned with if she''d like it? I''ll be seeing her family tonight- I might ask My FMIL''s mother for her opinion.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 2/3/2006 11:26:34 AM
Author: IndiBlue
I''m not really so concerned with how she feels about the ring being from her ex-husband- They are still VERY good friends and her current husband and my FFIL are great friends as well. It''s a great family!

That is great! Unless she dislikes purple stones, I think you are set! Even is she doesn''t like purple stones, I bet she would like the ring you are planning...for sentimental reasons!

Deb

 

[Shay37]

I think that that is a very beautiful and thoughtful idea. I hope she loves the idea and appreciates the sweetness of her DIL to be.

shay