Call me a doctor, cause I'm angry.

[MonkeyPie]

I will likely have this thread deleted once I get some assistance...but I trust someone here will have an inkling what I'm talking about.

Lately I've been anxious, worried, and when I get pushed past that, downright angry. I'm on the verge of grumpy pretty much all the time, I have no sex drive whatsoever (and that's weird for me), and I have an extremely short fuse. You might have noticed my posts in stci's thread I have always been easy to rile, but not to this extent. I feel like I'm wavering on the edge of a breakdown or something.

No lifestyle changes of any kind. I did start BC two months ago, but this started before I began it, so even if it adds to it, it wasn't the trigger. I can't figure out what changed. The only time I felt truly relaxed and happy was on vacation, but the entire time I still felt this lingering anxiety because I was separated from Micah. I'm happiest when I'm with him, and all my issues seem to take a backseat when he's with me. But I feel like he's just a distraction, not a cure.

Help?

 

[Sha]

Sorry to hear about this MP. It almost sounds like a stress reaction, although you said you hadn't experienced any major lifestyle changes. Are things at work ok? Any other life stresses right now that might be contributing to how you feel?

My other thought is that it might be general anxiety related to Micah...perhaps something like what fiery experienced. I don't know... just speculating. The fact that you said you feel happiest with him but anxious without him makes me think that.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Sorry to hear about this MP. It almost sounds like a stress reaction, although you said you hadn't experienced any major lifestyle changes. Are things at work ok? Any other life stresses right now that might be contributing to how you feel?

My other thought is that it might be general anxiety related to Micah...perhaps something like what fiery experienced. I don't know... just speculating. The fact that you said you feel happiest with him but anxious without him makes me think that.

I actually talked to Tacori about this the other day. I know SOME of it is contributed to my fear of losing Micah and my husband - as a child, my fear was of losing my dad. So that part is something I have lived with my whole life, and while I have moments that are worse than others, that particular fear feels separate from my anger...I could be wrong.

 

[movie zombie]

also symptoms of hypothyroidism. get your thyroid checked. T3 and T4. also, even if your numbers come back within norm, it could be thyroid....need to find a dr that goes by symptoms rather than numbers. there are other symptoms as well that would indicate thyroid.

also possible is adrenal issues......

MoZo

 

[MonkeyPie]

also symptoms of hypothyroidism. get your thyroid checked. T3 and T4. also, even if your numbers come back within norm, it could be thyroid....need to find a dr that goes by symptoms rather than numbers. there are other symptoms as well that would indicate thyroid.

also possible is adrenal issues......

MoZo

You know, you aren't the first person to tell me that. My hair thinned out like crazy after high school, and my hair dresser told me to check my thyroid. Every time I mention this sort of stuff to DH, he says thyroid. Maybe I better do it.

 

[charbie]

also symptoms of hypothyroidism. get your thyroid checked. T3 and T4. also, even if your numbers come back within norm, it could be thyroid....need to find a dr that goes by symptoms rather than numbers. there are other symptoms as well that would indicate thyroid.

also possible is adrenal issues......

MoZo

That was going to be my suggestion as well. Also, it may not just be one thing to really set off a trigger. I had life changes (graduated, got a job, etc.) that werent much more stressful than other things I had done in life, and it wasn't until at least 9 mos later that I quite suddenly began having a lot of anxiety and worrying issues. When I talked to my doctor about it, he said it doesn't have to just be one thing, but just a combination that can just sort of hit you.
I never was one who wanted to go to the doctor about that stuff or go on meds, but I will say it helped a lot. I've been off meds for a few months now, and honestly I do notice im much more on edge and stressed. I will probably see about going back on the meds after the kid is born, bc I can see myself having panic attacks again for no reason.

 

[applequeen]

I haven't posted in a couple of years (since the early days of my pregnancy) but I still lurk from time to time. This post caught my eye because I've been living it for the past 13 1/2 months (my son is that age).

I know that part of mine was Postpartum depression/ anxiety and I was on Celexa for about 6 months which really helped. I have had symptoms of hypothyriodism for several years but since my levels are normal I had never been treated for it. I always thought that the PPD/PPA think was related to my thyroid. The Celexa helped my mood and anxiety but none of the other symptoms. I went off Celexa about 3 months ago and gradually all of it returned. When I had my annual visit with my Endocrineologist 3 weeks ago I broke down in his office. He told me he thought my problems were depression related (ignoring all the other symptoms that had nothing to do with depression that I still had when on Celexa). I've taken a list of hypothyroidism symptoms with me the past 2 years with 3/4 of them highlighted as things I experience on a regular basis....both before and after my son was born. I did have a rough recovery from my C section so I think that may have contributed but I think the foundation of my issues were thyroid related.

Basically he humored me and put me on a VERY low dose of Synthroid even though my levels are totally normal. It's been 3 weeks and I really feel the best I've felt in a long time. I no longer think I need the Celexa again (so won't be going back on it) and my moods are much better. I noticed that my skin and nails are better and I seem to have more energy. I still have anxiety about losing DH and my son (like you that is a major issue for me) but I think it's related to some losses people close to me have experienced lately (a co worker's father was killed in a work accident a few weeks ago).

Please get your thyroid checked! I actually think I need a slightly higher dose than I'm on but I doubt he'll raise it.

Good luck!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

MP-I can empathize with you and how you're feeling. Irrational anger and an easy trigger are two of the symptoms that had me running for my PCP. I was treated for PPD after Aidan was born with zoloft, but it really didn't do much for me so I stopped taking it (I know, bad move) and tried to manage it on my own. It wasn't that I was depressed so to speak, I was just so easily overwhelmed with life and task that were once simple. And the anxiety was huge as well. Mine was more centered around stability so I was paranoid about work and paranoid about my relationship with DH. I've never been away from A so I don't know how that would have affected me, but I'd sure it would have been pretty profound. Anyway, I learned that PPD can happen at any time during the first year and sometimes doesn't show itself until months after the birth. So it's quite possible that you developed this or have had it all along and it's just now peaking. My doc put me on Celexa (citalopram) and I just had to increase the dose, but I have noticed a bit of an improvement with my mood and my ability to cope. You see, it's not that I lack the coping skills needed to deal with my issues, it's just when I get overwhelmed I fixate on things and get anxious/paranoid, which makes it hard to think outside of that cycle and apply those coping mechanisms.

I'm not sure what your medical insurance situation is right now, but I would go and speak with your PCP about your current issues and possibly look into an SSRI and/or talk therapy to help manage things.

 

[somethingshiny]

MP~ You're describing exactly what I've been dealing with too. I was diagnosed PPD pretty soon after Lily was born. At that time, most of my symptoms were feeling inadequate and unable to make decisions. However, I went off my Zoloft recently and have really been struggling to keep a lid on my temper. Luckily, I was able to find an "all-natural" stress relief stuff at the health food store. It's helping me but not as much as the Zoloft so only time will tell if I end up back on the meds. Definitely sounds like PPD is something you should look into. Even though M is over a year old, sometimes it takes that long to diagnose. I hope you're able to find some relief, MP. I know it sucks.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Thanks for jumping in, ladies. It's nice to know I'm not alone, though I wish we could all just feel normal again!

I felt SO good right after Micah was born and I got back on my feet. I never had any lingering issues with my L&D even though it was pretty bad, and I was never teary or sad with the blues. I was positively bursting with joy, and I loved that little guy so much. I was like that for probably 6-7 months, which makes me wonder how it could possibly have anything to do with that. And I feel happy again like that every time I see him, he just lights up my world.

I did take a look at a list of symptoms for hypothyroidism, and while I don't match the first section at all (all about thyroid cancers/goiters), I do match all of the emotional/physical second set of symptoms.

I have the following symptoms of hypothyroidism, as detailed by the Merck Manual, the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists, and the Thyroid Foundation of America

__x__ I am gaining weight inappropriately
__x__ I'm unable to lose weight with diet/exercise
__x__ I am constipated, sometimes severely
__x__ I have hypothermia/low body temperature (I feel cold when others feel hot, I need extra sweaters, etc.)
__x__ I feel fatigued, exhausted
__x__ Feeling run down, sluggish, lethargic
____ My hair is coarse and dry, breaking, brittle, falling out
____ My skin is coarse, dry, scaly, and thick
____ I have a hoarse or gravely voice
__x__ I have puffiness and swelling around the eyes and face
____ I have pains, aches in joints, hands and feet
____ I have developed carpal-tunnel syndrome, or it's getting worse
__x__ I am having irregular menstrual cycles (longer, or heavier, or more frequent)
____ I am having trouble conceiving a baby
__x__ I feel depressed
__x__ I feel restless
__x__ My moods change easily
__x__ I have feelings of worthlessness
__x__ I have difficulty concentrating
__x__ I have more feelings of sadness
__x__ I seem to be losing interest in normal daily activities
__x__ I'm more forgetful lately

I also have the following additional symptoms, which have been reported more frequently in people with hypothyroidism:

____ My hair is falling out
__x__ I can't seem to remember things
__x__ I have no sex drive
____ I am getting more frequent infections, that last longer
__x__ I'm snoring more lately
__x__ I have/may have sleep apnea
____ I feel shortness of breath and tightness in the chest
__x__ I feel the need to yawn to get oxygen
____ My eyes feel gritty and dry
__x__ My eyes feel sensitive to light
____ My eyes get jumpy/tics in eyes, which makes me dizzy/vertigo and have headaches
____ I have strange feelings in neck or throat
____ I have tinnitus (ringing in ears)
____ I get recurrent sinus infections
____ I have vertigo
__x__ I feel some lightheadedness
____ I have severe menstrual cramps

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

MP, while it does appear that you have a significant number of HT symptoms, if you did a checklist for depression you'd discover those same symptoms can be attributed to that. So it's a toss up and only you and your doctor can find a solution to the problem.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I think the thyroid is a good possibility. But HH is right that they also apply to depression.

I think PPD is another good possibility. It can begin at any point up to six months or even more post-partum, which contradicts what we think of when we think of PPD, but it is the truth. Here is some information from my country's mental health association: http://www.cmha.ca/bins/content_page.asp?cid=3-86-87-88

I'd look into both options. Good luck!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I felt SO good right after Micah was born and I got back on my feet. I never had any lingering issues with my L&D even though it was pretty bad, and I was never teary or sad with the blues. I was positively bursting with joy, and I loved that little guy so much. I was like that for probably 6-7 months, which makes me wonder how it could possibly have anything to do with that. And I feel happy again like that every time I see him, he just lights up my world.

I just want to note that PPD is not about disliking being a mother or having negative feeling about your child (though negative feelings about motherhood or your child can characterize PPD). Rather it is a biological reaction to changes in hormones that follow pregnancy and birth, and can surface as late as 6-12 months post-partum.

 

[applequeen]

Since depression is a symptom of hypothyroidism it really can be either (my case is a perfect example). Celexa helped (REALLY helped) my depression but did nothing for the other symptoms. My depression and anxiety are much improved since starting Synthroid 3 weeks ago so I feel that the root of my depression is thyroid related. It may or may not be the same for you.

It's kind of a chicken/ egg sort of thing and I would have both checked....and you may need to be treated for both.

PPD is really the most difficult thing I've even been though. It's a time when you should be (and are in many ways) so happy but there was something there that I couldn't put my finger on. I loved my son...had no bad thoughts...but my moods were out of control and I could never seem to relax. I was constantly on edge... totally irrational at times.

I am cautiously optimistic that the Synthroid is my answer... but if I feel the Celexa is needed again I will not hesitate to go back on it. Having seen what is on the other side I don't want to stay in bad place any longer than I have to.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I agree that a lot of those symptoms overlap with depression. The bad thing is, a family member of mine had such a horrible time getting off the meds, so weigh out all your options.

This obviously is not the cause of the problems, but I have read many times about bc pills causing low sex drive. I'd consider something else if the problem persists.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I felt SO good right after Micah was born and I got back on my feet. I never had any lingering issues with my L&D even though it was pretty bad, and I was never teary or sad with the blues. I was positively bursting with joy, and I loved that little guy so much. I was like that for probably 6-7 months, which makes me wonder how it could possibly have anything to do with that. And I feel happy again like that every time I see him, he just lights up my world.

I just want to note that PPD is not about disliking being a mother or having negative feeling about your child (though negative feelings about motherhood or your child can characterize PPD). Rather it is a biological reaction to changes in hormones that follow pregnancy and birth, and can surface as late as 6-12 months post-partum.

Then that makes no sense. In that case, EVERY woman has PPD, diagnosed or not, because it's there even if you're happy or sad. I'm so confused.

And I don't think I'm depressed, ladies. I have been depressed, and this feels nothing like that.

 

[MonkeyPie]

ARG.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Why not get a full-blood work-up? Check everything from thyroid to vitamin D. Find a dr. who gives you a copy of the *exact* results. I had my GTT done and the dr. just sent a letter saying that I was okay, but the numbers are sketchy so I'm getting a second opinion. Maybe see a couple drs. since many have different cut-off points as do many labs!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I felt SO good right after Micah was born and I got back on my feet. I never had any lingering issues with my L&D even though it was pretty bad, and I was never teary or sad with the blues. I was positively bursting with joy, and I loved that little guy so much. I was like that for probably 6-7 months, which makes me wonder how it could possibly have anything to do with that. And I feel happy again like that every time I see him, he just lights up my world.

I just want to note that PPD is not about disliking being a mother or having negative feeling about your child (though negative feelings about motherhood or your child can characterize PPD). Rather it is a biological reaction to changes in hormones that follow pregnancy and birth, and can surface as late as 6-12 months post-partum.

Then that makes no sense. In that case, EVERY woman has PPD, diagnosed or not, because it's there even if you're happy or sad. I'm so confused.

And I don't think I'm depressed, ladies. I have been depressed, and this feels nothing like that.

Hon, not every woman has PPD based on the definition I suggested .

PPD is clinically diagnosable depression that is identified anywhere from immediately post birth until 6 months to a year post birth.

If a woman is not depressed, she does not have PPD. If a woman is depressed but has not had a baby in the past 6 months or so, then she does not have PPD.

But a woman can be BLISSFULLY happy post-birth and then be diagnosed with depression 6-12 months later, and that is most likely PPD rearing its ugly head. This might be the case for you.

A woman with PPD can also love her child and feel happy with her child, but have depression. Just like people with other types of depression can still find pleasure and enjoyment *sometimes* in their lives and with some people. Depression has many different "faces" and symptom patters. It does not always mean you are in bed all day sad. It can be anhedonia (lack of pleasure in formerly pleasurable activities), anger, irritability, difficulty sleeping or concentrating, anxiety, and on and on. Only a qualified psychologist can diagnose depression, not any of us here. And frankly, a medical doctor should not diagnose depression or treat it either, without consulting a registered psychologist.

I think what you describe warrants seeing someone qualified to help you find some answers. It is not a reflection on your love of your child or your abilities as a mother to have PPD. It reflects biology, and is a very common side effect of the pregnancy and post-partum period. For some women medication is the solution, and for others lifestyle changes and therapy will help. Again, only a qualified registered psychologist can diagnose PPD properly and determine the best course of treatment.

 

[MonkeyPie]

MC, I made an appointment with my doctor today so hopefully I can get a full workup. I had tons of bloodwork done when pregnant but they were only looking for certain things, so maybe we missed something. Or it may not have been present then. We shall see.

It is not a reflection on your love of your child or your abilities as a mother to have PPD.

I think this is the problem I'm facing with this, even considering it as PPD. I don't FEEL depressed. And I was so happy that I didn't get PPD after my kind of traumatic L&D, that all I felt was happiness and love for Micah. I was so worried I would get it and not want him. I had no idea anger could be part of depression. Hopefully if I print out that list and show it to my doctor, she can get me a referral to someone who can treat it, if that's what it is. I react weird to meds though so I will be researching the heck out of anything they try to give me.

 

[movie zombie]

bloodwork while pregnant will be different than now. your hormone levels were different. make sure the do the vitamin D.

the thinning hair and being cold are clear signs. i cannot begin to tell you my experiences of being to the bone cold while in toronto on a HOT and HUMID day. that was just one instance......i was always cold but sometimes i would get cold to the bone and not be able to get warm. i couldn't get drs to even consider thyroid because my numbers were in the norm....on the low side but they were numbers people. found myself a dr that goes by symptoms as well. i've been on armour thyroid for over two years now. we recently tweeked the med to drop the level and add cytomel. a mistake. i'm back on the original armour dosage with one cytomel afternoons. thyroid meds aren't about finding a dose and then it stays that way for years. its a constant checking and tweeking and observations of body reactions.

i no longer get cold to the bone. i can tolerate heat better which i never could. my moods are better. my energy is better. but i'm also on doses of mega amounts of vitamin D3 each month as well as daily dosages. can't seem to get my D up consistently despite eating lots of greens. and i really feel difference when my D is insufficient.

take those self-test results with you to the dr appointment. even if your numbers come back normal, talk to the dr about trying it out. or find a dr that isn't locked into numbers. that's assuming of course that nothing else is revealed.

in the meantime there are herbal things you can take but i would advise you to do your own research on that.

MoZo

 

[Dreamer_D]

MC, I made an appointment with my doctor today so hopefully I can get a full workup. I had tons of bloodwork done when pregnant but they were only looking for certain things, so maybe we missed something. Or it may not have been present then. We shall see.

It is not a reflection on your love of your child or your abilities as a mother to have PPD.

I think this is the problem I'm facing with this, even considering it as PPD. I don't FEEL depressed. And I was so happy that I didn't get PPD after my kind of traumatic L&D, that all I felt was happiness and love for Micah. I was so worried I would get it and not want him. I had no idea anger could be part of depression. Hopefully if I print out that list and show it to my doctor, she can get me a referral to someone who can treat it, if that's what it is. I react weird to meds though so I will be researching the heck out of anything they try to give me.

The stigma associated with depression is a huge factor for any person in seeking help, or admitting there is a problem. And that goes triple for something like PPD, which not only carried a depression stigma, but also somehow implies you are a "bad mother" for not just hitting the ground running -- and keeping on running -- when you have a child. But so many women deal with this issue, and most never seek treatment. The interesting thing about depression is that excepting chronic depressive disorders, most depressive episodes go away on their own within 6-12 months with no treatment at all. So most women would just barrel through and start to eventually feel better. The trouble is, barrelling through can take a toll on your marriage and job and relationship with your kids, so it is not always the best outcome.

I am not saying that depression explains what you are feeling, but the symptoms you checked below on the thyroid checklist are all also signs of depression. So it is worth looking into when you speak to your doctor.

__x__ I am gaining weight inappropriately
__x__ I'm unable to lose weight with diet/exercise
__x__ I feel fatigued, exhausted
__x__ Feeling run down, sluggish, lethargic
__x__ I feel depressed
__x__ I feel restless
__x__ My moods change easily
__x__ I have feelings of worthlessness
__x__ I have difficulty concentrating
__x__ I have more feelings of sadness
__x__ I seem to be losing interest in normal daily activities
__x__ I'm more forgetful lately

 

[somethingshiny]

MP~ I get what you're saying about not Feeling depressed. I never have either. When Lily was born , I was stressed. Obviously, she had a heart condition. Of course I was stressed! But, I would be in a half-panic at all times, on edge, and completely lose my mind when I had to make the simplest of decisions. That's how I knew something was wrong. I was never really sad. And now, the only symptoms I have are the anger/temper/short fuse. It's still the "depression" but feels nothing like being depressed. This has been an avg convo in our household. Maybe it'll sound familiar. Maybe not.

DH: (Proudly motions to all the laundry that he did without being asked.)
me: "WTH??!!
DH:
me: Why didn't you fold those pants? You know that they have to be folded. It would've taken you 30 seconds to keep this stuff from getting wrinkly, but you couldn't take that 30 seconds? Why even bother if all you're gonna do is let it lie on the sofa? I have to do everything if I want it done right. Now I have to re-wash and dry ALL these clothes so they can be folded and not wrinkly.
DH: Um, can't you just iron that pair of pants??
me: NO! It's all wrong and it's all your fault. God!!!


another convo

DH has worked all day and has come home to work in his garage before getting a shower)
me: Hi, what're ya doin?
DH: clearing off this table that you want for the basement
me: oh, great.
DH: (cleaning, organizing)
me: when are you going to be done?
DH: when I'm done getting this ready
me: Well why didn't you shower first? You stink and now I have to smell you all night!? You KNOW I have a sensitive nose! Argh!!


The entire time I'm berating him, it seems so perfectly logical and I KNOW I'm right. However, when I get a grip on myself a few hours later, not so much. Losing it over pants is not ME. Freaking out at someone (whom I love) who is doing something kind for me is not ME.

Like I said, I'm trying to stay off the Zoloft, but the fact is, while I was on it, I would've never flipped my lid over pants or any other stupid thing. I felt really connected with my husband and now I feel disconnected with everybody at least some parts of the day.

 

[packrat]

One of my Gramma's had problems w/her thyroid years and years ago. She had all the symptoms of one, hyper or hypo, I forget, so they treated her and turned out she actually had the other. Medicine has come a long way since she first had problems..I think that was way back before I was born all that happened.

I had a rough time after Trapper came. He's 4 now and I'm still short tempered. I begged to go back on the pill, thinking my hormones were out of whack and was told I'm too old, so I'm on Nuva ring..the hormones help a little but not much. JD's getting a vasectomy this summer and then I'm going to have my hormones checked.

I hope you get some answers MP..the feeling of being in limbo is horrible. It makes me feel sorry for women back in the day..we have so many more options available to us now as far as being diagnosed with things, seeking treatment/help etc. We're more open about it too.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Sorry you are still feeling off A. You know I suggested seeing a counselor before when we talked. Your fear of abandonment/death is deeply rooted. I believe with the right therapist some of this anxiety can be lifted. From what you described to me the other day, it seems like you are having some distorted thinking that is leaving you anxious, irritable, and fearful. That is a stressful way to live. I know I also mentioned PPD before. It can present up to 24 months after M's birth. There are assessments a therapist can give to better diagnose you. Seems like this fear was there before his birth though. By all means get your thyroid checked! That could be the reason for some physical problems you mentioned. My gut tells me that you need talk therapy. Wishing you some peace.

 

[Shoopy]

MP hope you get your answers soon. I just want to mention that I went through a really bad period when Sophia was 9 months. It was a really dark time in my life full of a lot of the symptoms you mentioned plus some. After internal evaluation, stress ended up being a HUGE factor. I had always known how to handle stress well before Sophia came along so I didn't recognize it during that time. But having a kid really shifted my priorities that I couldn't focus enough on ME and my needs to recognize that the stress was eating away at me. And actually, taking a vacation was what made me realize how much atreas there was in my every day normal life. Hasn't happened since.

I would do some internal evaluation, maybe chat with a therapist if you can. Sometimes small changes can really help. Again hope you get some answers!!

 

[MonkeyPie]

MP hope you get your answers soon. I just want to mention that I went through a really bad period when Sophia was 9 months. It was a really dark time in my life full of a lot of the symptoms you mentioned plus some. After internal evaluation, stress ended up being a HUGE factor. I had always known how to handle stress well before Sophia came along so I didn't recognize it during that time. But having a kid really shifted my priorities that I couldn't focus enough on ME and my needs to recognize that the stress was eating away at me. And actually, taking a vacation was what made me realize how much atreas there was in my every day normal life. Hasn't happened since.

I would do some internal evaluation, maybe chat with a therapist if you can. Sometimes small changes can really help. Again hope you get some answers!!

I remember reading your posts about this a little bit It was heartbreaking. I'm glad you're doing so much better.

I have an appointment next week, I plan to ask a lot of questions and see what options I have. I'm also going to see if I can get a referral to a therapist. I'm not terribly excited about that - the experience I have with therapists are not good at all, and I feel like I would rather talk to somebody I know, but I know a therapist will have different ideas and views than just a friend will. I'm sort of dreading the whole thing. I've never had to see a doctor for anything other than minor illnesses, so I feel a bit disfunctional. Here's hoping it goes well.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

It could be something in your body changed too. Six months ago I was a very healthy (still overweight) happy person. Two weeks ago I took my blood pressure and was shocked to find it went to 140/90 Blood tests came back showing inflammation in my body with a possible cause still out there for debate. I too was like you in my moods and feelings. Doc put me on a low dose extended release beta blocker and I've completely overhauled my diet to include fresh foods, nothing processed and very little dairy. It has been like night and day! I'm happier, not as snappy, I sleep better, and just feel better. My advice - see your doc ASAP

ETA: take charge of your own health and listen to your body. The biggest thing that pissed me off is that I've been having heart palps for years and everybody just dismissed it as stress since I'm a young female. My new doctor that I have finally took me seriously and that was another reason for the beta blockers. I can happily say that so far I've been heart palp free since starting them!

 

[somethingshiny]

MP~ You seem like you're beating yourself up already and you don't even know what's going on yet. No matter what is causing your symptoms, it's not your fault. Keeping yourself healthy is one of the best gifts you can give to your child.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am sorry you have had horrible experiences with therapists. I would write down what went wrong and their education (different degrees have different styles and beliefs), and choose someone who has a different background. Friends are great but they cannot take the place of trained professionals for the big stuff. Getting a referral from your doctor is an excellent idea.