California proposal help

[laurel]

I noticed that many of you are familiar with the CA area. I''m hoping to propose to my boyfriend of many years when we vacation in CA next month. I have all the arrangements for our trip ready -- B&Bs, tickets, even some dinner res. -- but I''m having trouble finding the perfect time and place for the proposal.

Just to put your minds at ease: He should be ready for it, though the timing will come as a surprise. We''ve talked about marriage a lot and are both excited about getting hitched. He has often claimed he''s just waiting for me to propose; so i decided to take him up on his suggestion.

I couldn''t get a reservation at french laundry, but i''m not all that excited about restaurant proposals anyhow. i''ve planned an afternoon at a spa in calistoga and then we''re checking in to a b&b in healdsburg. we both love wine, so i considered a winery/picnic setting.

i also was reading about screamin'' mimi''s -- we''re ice cream fanatics. i thought maybe we could have dinner after the spa and then get ice cream. is there a place we could walk while we enjoy our cones and end up in a good place for proposing?

i''m not familiar with the area at all and am feeling lost. help?

 

[JimDiamond]

Many here can suggest places for you, but if you haven't already I suggest you read this recent thread:

I WANT TO GIVE MY BF A ENGAGEMENT RING FOR HIS BDAY NEXT MONTH
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/i-want-to-give-my-bf-a-engagement-ring-for-his-bday-next-month.17708/

Proposing to your boyfriend is lovely and may very well be the right thing for you, but be very careful. If you're basing it on the statement, "I'm just waiting for you to propose," be cautious. In guy speak that usually means, "I'm not ready yet, but I need something cute to say." It may not be fair, but even the most liberal minded of us would be uncomfortable with being proposed to. Now if you want to suggest it and suggest you start looking for rings together that wouldn't be a bad idea. It may give you a gauge of how comfortable he is with the idea. Though even if he's not receptive to that it may just mean that he wants to surprise you with a ring or that he already has one.

 

[laurel]

Why is it that when a guy says he has discussed marriage with his girlfriend and is confident his proposal is prudent his assessment is trusted, yet when a woman says she knows her man would love to be asked her ability to accurately assess her relationship is suspect? I had really hoped we'd be beyond this by now.

 

[JimDiamond]

We're here to help not hurt, so I'm sorry if I upset you. Obviously we don't know all about you and your relationship. Some women do propose and go on to have great marriages, but the number of women that formally propose is very small. Society is what society is. We often like to believe we live in an equal society, but it's not. If we were truly, "past that" then the amount of women proposing to men and vice versa would be about 50-50 (or probably more women proposing than men). But is this the case? No. So since guys know that the ball is at least 90% in their court when it comes to proposing if they haven't proposed yet then there probably is a reason. That reason can be fear or uncertainty, but it can also be a desire to find the perfect ring, the perfect time, the perfect place and the perfect moment to make it the most joyous possible for their girlfriends. If it is a surprise, unfortunately, the women may have no way of knowing the difference.