bye bye Clairol: going gray gracefully?

[tulip928]

Between Monarch''s thread on wrinkles, going through empty nest syndrome, and what seems to be menopause on the horizen

, I''ve been pondering about aging gracefully! I''ve realized that Natural Instincts is really not working for me anymore and I just can''t fathom touching up roots forever and ever. I think the color that my hair has always been (medium brown) actually looks too dark on me now. When I use a lighter color, it just ends up looking brassy. My mom is in her 70s and still dyes her hair dark.

I just happened upon this article on More magazine website. The author decided to go naturally gray, and I think she looks great! There are also some models in print ads and commercials that have gray hair, and I think they look good too.

What do you think, ladies?

http://www.more.com/more/story.jsp?storyid=/templatedata/more/story/data/1149020338182.xml

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, I just don''t want to go gray now. My hair is naturally dark brown, and when the gray started coming in, I covered it (not with permanent color...it is wash out color which does not damage my hair). I tell my hair person to tell me when I need to go lighter brown, and she can strip my hair and get it lighter. I''ll consider going gray when I am over 70...maybe!

 

[firebirdgold]

My fi doesn''t really care about makeup or my clothes... but he has a firm line on hair color, it''s taboo. So I''m going grey naturally. Although I prefer to think of it as silver, thank you very much. I have to admit that since quitting the hair color thing I do like my hair better and it''s very shiny ... especially the silver.

Of course this would work a little bit better if said Fi would stop leaning over and commenting on the ever increasing amount of grey hairs with this evil smirk!

 

[tulip928]

Hi Indie

Good for you! I wish I hadn't started coloring, because I didn't realize HOW silver I really am! It's the transition process that's going to be weird.


Diamondseeker

70 is starting to seem younger to me now! It used to seem so far away, but now that I passed 50, its not anymore - time flies when you're having fun!

 

[Sundial]

I'm with Diamondseeker, I just turned 52 and I am just not ready to go gray. I know some people who've done it and they have beautifully colored silver hair, but I just feel better sticking with my light brown and adding occasional highlights for the time being.

 

[Cind11]

I think the author of this article does look great as do many women with silver/gray hair. I just turned 48 (Did I just admit that?) and I can''t fathom not coloring my hair. I think I do look younger than my age (unless I''m deluding myself hee hee) and I would feel extremely frumpy right now if didn''t color my hair. I think it would make me feel older and I am NOT ready to feel older. I don''t see anything wrong with anyone else wanting to stop though. It is a pain. I have to get it colored every 4-5 wks. I''m sure some day I''ll stop but not in the foreseeable future.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I should add that one time I did get the idea I wanted to try and go naturally gray, and all my gray was coming in at my temples! It was not evenly coming in all over my head. So there was no way I could possibly go gray naturally. So I''ve colored it ever since. I don''t have the illusion that I look young, but I don''t want to be asked if my youngest child is my granddaughter either!!!

 

[KimberlyH]

I am not quite 30. The grey started growing in when I was 18. I have yet to start dying as it is still fairly sparse, but the more I see the more I lean towards heading down that path. My DH recently asked me when I was going to start dying my hair (his mother did his entire life until last year (she turned 86 and I was too scared to do it for her anymore (she has extremely thin hair and a sensitive scalp, refused my offer to take her to a salon and is incapable of doing it herself, she has alzheimers) and all of his female friends do so he''s suprised that my hair color is totally natural and always has been, with the exception of a few bad home dye jobs that he wasn''t around to witness in my late teens early twenties. I told him I wasn''t ready to commit to the time and money involved yet, but I will be getting to the point soon and when I do hair salon here I come.

I know women who are stunning with gray hair and some that are not. I didn''t think the woman in the article looked particularly good with grey hair, but it isn''t about what I think, it''s about doing what makes her and the collective you comfortable.

 

[Blenheim]

I''m 23 and not in the position where I''ll have to decide for a while, so take this with a grain of salt, but I really like grey hair on a lot of women and I''d like to go naturally grey when the time comes. And I think that it can look so elegant -- have you seen Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada?!

 

[movie zombie]

yes, go gray gracefully.......why the perception that gray is unacceptable? my mind may be in denial but my body certainly is aware of its years. sometimes its hard to accept aging but it is indeed just another of life''s experience and part of being alive. might as well make the most of it and enjoy it!

movie zombie

 

[Ellen]

I think some women find it "unacceptable" because it makes one look older. And it does, that''s why I''m still coloring. I also don''t have gray hair, it''s snow white.

At some point I''ll stop, but I honestly have no idea when that will be, but I think I''ll just know.

 

[Skippy123]

This may be a dumb question, but if you have only 3 or 4 white hairs to you pull them out? When do you need to start dying? When I have a dozen grey hairs??? Thanks.

 

[tulip928]

(Sundial - I am 52 too!)

Thanks everybody for your input . . . I think I will find a good colorist who can help me find a lighter color (without brassiness) and highlights and go from there. The darker color of my youth actually makes me look older now!

 

[Selkie]

Date: 1/28/2007 5:11:49 PM
Author: Skippy123
This may be a dumb question, but if you have only 3 or 4 white hairs to you pull them out? When do you need to start dying? When I have a dozen grey hairs??? Thanks.

Your question made me laugh, because I have one white hair that grows in every few months, and as soon as I can see it, I pull it out! It''s right in the center over my forehead. So far, it hasn''t brought reinforcements, but I''m sure it will someday. It freaks me out a little to think about getting gray, because my natural hair color is just about the only thing I''m vain about. It''s reddish blond with a lot of highlights, and I''ve never colored it in any way except for some sun-in type stuff. I can''t imagine trying to match it with dye. I have thought about going true red/auburn, which I think would be fun for a while, but the expense and care involved in maintaining it seems like too much of a hassle. So maybe I''ll try the graceful graying approach.

 

[Cind11]

Date: 1/28/2007 5:11:49 PM
Author: Skippy123
This may be a dumb question, but if you have only 3 or 4 white hairs to you pull them out? When do you need to start dying? When I have a dozen grey hairs??? Thanks.

When I had 3 or 4 gray hairs I definitely plucked them. I plucked even when I had more than that. I started coloring my hair at age 33 because I had a section of my bangs that was gray. I only had a small amount of gray in the rest of my hair. But that small section reminded me of Elvira and I didn''t like the way it looked so away it went.

 

[movie zombie]

not all women look older with gray and/or white hair. the woman in the article looks much better now than she did in her clairol days. perhaps she''s happier with herself as well........

my mother has gorgeous snow white hair! but then she''s 82. she''s had it since in her 50''s and she has looked stunning with it all those years. i had hoped to inherit this gene but my hair is more the gray.

having been a dark ash blond meant that going gray really wasn''t an issue. my daughter actually commented that i looked blonder.........but now its beyond that stage and definitely gray with a darker ash blond streak that now really looks dark going back from my left temple.

personally, i think there comes a time when coloring one''s hair just adds years.....not true though for those still in their 40''s, i think. but it is like all things: an individual preference.


movie zombie

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 1/28/2007 3:27:40 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Well, I just don''t want to go gray now. My hair is naturally dark brown, and when the gray started coming in, I covered it (not with permanent color...it is wash out color which does not damage my hair). I tell my hair person to tell me when I need to go lighter brown, and she can strip my hair and get it lighter. I''ll consider going gray when I am over 70...maybe!

ditto. I''m only 34 with dark brown hair, no grey yet (knock on wood) but i''m am 100% planning on coloring my hair when the time comes. I used to color my hair or highlight it when i was in my early-mid twenties. when I was pregnant with my first I stopped coloring and have not colored my hair since, I honestly had colored my hair so long I wasn''t sure what my natural color was..lol... My mom is almost 60 and colors her hair. She looks incredible and is often asked if my kids are hers when she''s out with them. I hope I inherited her young looking genes too.

I do think some women do look amazing with grey hair. Meryl Streep looked incredible in that movie!!

 

[Ann]

Date: 1/28/2007 5:20:49 PM
Author: tulip928
(Sundial - I am 52 too!)

Thanks everybody for your input . . . I think I will find a good colorist who can help me find a lighter color (without brassiness) and highlights and go from there. The darker color of my youth actually makes me look older now!

I''ll be 52 next week. I''ve been coloring my dark brown hair since my mid 40''s. My gray is really heavy in only certain areas, temples, crown and a small area below the crown. In the beginning I did it myself, using a color that would wash out in about 6 weeks. Then, I started using a colorist when I began noticing my hair was starting to look flat. We have lightened my original color and added subtle highlights. I think it looks ok. The upkeep is tough though, I go in every 4 weeks and I''d better not go any longer, the gray starts showing up and it''s ugly!

Now, the question is: Longer hair on older women ? Mine is just past my shoulders and I''m constantly worried I look like
I''m trying to be too young.

 

[tulip928]

Until last year, I'd worn my hair shoulder length. Now I have a chin length bob, and I think it looks better on me.

My daughters are 27 and 24, and they've both been coloring their hair for years. I have a swatch of my hair from when I was their age, and I think that was when my color was the prettiest. I don't think they even know what their natural color looks like.

 

[tulip928]

Date: 1/28/2007 5:07:02 PM
Author: Ellen
I think some women find it ''unacceptable'' because it makes one look older. And it does, that''s why I''m still coloring. I also don''t have gray hair, it''s snow white.

At some point I''ll stop, but I honestly have no idea when that will be, but I think I''ll just know.

Ellen - snow white like platinum blond? Sounds kinda pretty to me!

What color do you use - a shade of blond?

 

[Cehrabehra]

I have totally accepted my white hair... and I have a lot of it!! My dad''s family goes white young and I''m a natural blonde so it hasn''t been too bad for me.... It really started to go when I was 23 and pregnant with my first child. It was about 1/3 white by the time I was 25 and now it''s probably 2/3 white at 36. I can''t really say it went grey because blondes just go platinum LOL From a distance I just look like I have VERY light blonde hair, but up close you can see that the silvers and whites are predominant LOL I''ve gotten a lot of compliments on it. I don''t call it going grey - I call it silver and gold I use to dye my hair - not to cover grey but to play with colors for fun.... and now I''m afraid to because even though I miss playing with colors, you just can''t pay to have hair this color!! Natural white hairs on ANY color - red brown black - are each so unique in where they come in. I have a *dark* streeak right in the midle of my part that goes either way... yoiu know how some get white streaks? well it''s all gone so white that I have a darker streak left.... it''s funny LOL It''s big enough that it goes both ways from my part no matter where I part it LOL I dunno - I''m ust a fan of embracing age. The older actresses I see who have spent all this time getting lifts and trying to look 25 *forever* look ridiculous to me - the other actresses who embrace it look fantastic to me!! Like meryl and diane keaton vs melanie giffith and marg helenberg or however you spell her name... I always thought she was eautiful until she got those lip implants I''ve digressed...

The only really bad thing about the white hair is it just doesn''t ACT like youthful hair. YOu can dye it all you want but it''ll still be wirey! I think by the time you''re in your 70''s it looks very unnatural to have solid dark hair, even if it is natural!

 

[Cehrabehra]

I just looked at all the pics and she looks SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (times infinity) much better with her natural hair color!!!! She looks softer and even, dare I say - YOUNGER!!! Her face looks less harsh and she is far more attractive!

 

[tulip928]

Cehrabehra - your color sounds beautiful!

 

[Dee*Jay]

I''m very fortunate that at 36 I haven''t found a single grey hair (I''m sure I just cursed myself and I''ll have half a head full tomorrow, LOL!). But I''m naturally blond and I get highlights, so I think the grey might just blend in when it comes--at least that''s what I''m hoping. I''m NOT going to be one of those 80 year old ladies with the fake blond dye though!

 

[sumbride]

It may be because I''m a southerner by birth, but I haven''t seen my natural hair color since I was 15! Luckily my hairstylist is convincing! A coworker overheard me making an appointment for my highlights the other day and she came running over to tell me not to do it... she didn''t want me to mess up my blond hair! I just laughed!

My mom says she''ll be blonde as long as she can afford it. My grandmother has had red hair since I was a child. I honestly have no idea if my hair will even go gray because I have no "genetic role models" to look to for the answer! Just a lot of behavior modeling in favor of hair color.

I do think a lot of people look great with gray or silver hair... I just don''t know that I''d be one of them. My boss has had snow white hair since her 20s, but I always thought she was older than her 55 years. Part of that is her clothing though, I think.

 

[movie zombie]

ok, since the issue was raised. i have long long long hair. hair that when i sit in the chair hits the chair with my butt. and its a big butt! but i digress.......i''m not enjoying the long hair. its in the way more often than not. its not been treated well the last 12 months and needs about 4-6 inches trimmed. now, this is the interesting point: i have advocated for going gray. yet i''m convinced that this really really long hair ages me. i know my hair looks best when its about....get ready for this, ladies.....nipple length or a bit longer. but i''m not ready to go that short yet...lol. that''s short to me! but i know my hair has a bounce and a healthy look to it that makes me look and feel younger when it is at ''gasp'' nibble length. for me its not the color but the length that is making me look older....dragging me down with its length and the fact that i have not been kind to my hair for a year and the ends show it.

i don''t mind being old....well, most times.....but this long hair thing is dragging me down. if it was long and healthy and the ends weren''t the way they are it would be different....but they''re not.

so it all goes back to our own individual perceptsions and our own acceptance of ourselves, doesn''t it?! so i''ve got it going re hair color.......but this long long long hair just isn''t working for me on so many levels. geez, ever get your hair caught under your breast? walking through a doorway? in the car door? ok, you get the picture so please quit laughing!!!!!!

movie zombie

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/28/2007 8:50:36 PM
Author: tulip928
Cehrabehra - your color sounds beautiful!

The color is, yes.... I think so Unfortuately I come from nordic stock and we''re very hairless people (which is great for leg hair but bad for head hair lol) and with aging hormones etc. it''s very thin.... my ponytail is about the width of my middle finger. It used to be so baby fine and soft and now it seems so coarse... I know it isn''t really because my dh has coarse hair, but it is relative to what it was.... I''m overall not in love with my hair but the color is such that I won''t dye it LOL

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 1/28/2007 8:31:55 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
I just looked at all the pics and she looks SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (times infinity) much better with her natural hair color!!!! She looks softer and even, dare I say - YOUNGER!!! Her face looks less harsh and she is far more attractive!

I agree! It helps that she is a beautiful woman to begin with but with the shorter hair, no bangs, natural color, I think she looks more elegant and chic. That was an interesting article. I am starting to go *slightly* gray. I only notice it b/c my hair is a very dark brown. I will probably dye it when it gets worse.

 

[diamondfan]

there is an older model, I cannot recall her name, she is a grandmother, and she has lovely silvery hair and is so pretty in the ads she is doing lately. I have no grey yet, but I do lighten my once pretty dirty blonde and now ashy brown hair. I am fair with blue eyes and the ashy brown is not what I was born with and does not suit my coloring at all. Darker looks too harsh on me with my skin tone. I think the reason some women cover the grey is that it can yellow easily and can actually be tough to keep looking nice. White is not what most people want (or yellow for that matter) but that silvery tone, which is hard to maintain with water deposits etc, it is porous and easily discolored.

 

[Lorelei]

I have coloured my hair for so many years, it would be impossible to stop! I get many compliments on my champagne coloured hair when I can be bothered to style it nicely, so my plan is to eventually go over to a platinum/ silver blonde when my age is right, I don''t fancy grey for me personally, but like the model DF mentioned, it can be so stunning on some!