Bummed about bachelorette party...

[sunnyd]

I don''t know why I''m sad about this, I know it''s not all about me and people have lives, but the whole situation is getting me down. Earlier this summer, my MOH and I picked October 24th as the perfect night for my BP. The Saturday before the wedding was Halloween, so that wouldn''t work. But one of my BMs has her college homecoming that day, so we thought about doing 2 parties since she''s under 21. But my farking MOH HAS to be there for both or she''ll feel left out.

Moving backwards was the 17th. MOH will be in NY for a wedding.

10th became a no-go because a concert that was cancelled got rescheduled to that date. It''s a band FI idolizes, so there''s no way we''re missing it.

That leaves us with the 3rd, but now half of my invite list won''t be able to go.

It''d basically be my BP and our moms. Which is fine I guess, but I was just hoping to have a bunch of girls I hardly see come out...and it''s a whole month before the wedding.

Just venting I guess. What would you do in this situation? I wish it could be a Friday night, but since the BM in college has to drive 2 hours back from school and FI works Saturdays, it can''t. This is seriously bumming me out.

 

[Luckyeshe]

Sunnyd, you should be looking forward to your BP and not worrying about it!!! So sorry you''re bummed!! Why does your MOH have to be there for both? Will she be the one throwing both of them for you? Maybe you could downplay the BP where your college BM will be attending and just make it really small like a handful of girls (4-5 attendees). Or the other way around, is it really important to you to have you college BM as part of your BP since she really can''t go out and drink? Maybe you could do something special with just her and you and still have your BP at the appointed date. Good luck! And keep smiling! You have a beautiful smile!

 

[charbie]

Date: 9/15/2009 1:44:54 PM
Author:sunnyd

I don''t know why I''m sad about this, I know it''s not all about me and people have lives, but the whole situation is getting me down. Earlier this summer, my MOH and I picked October 24th as the perfect night for my BP. The Saturday before the wedding was Halloween, so that wouldn''t work. But one of my BMs has her college homecoming that day, so we thought about doing 2 parties since she''s under 21. But my farking MOH HAS to be there for both or she''ll feel left out.

Moving backwards was the 17th. MOH will be in NY for a wedding.

10th became a no-go because a concert that was cancelled got rescheduled to that date. It''s a band FI idolizes, so there''s no way we''re missing it.

That leaves us with the 3rd, but now half of my invite list won''t be able to go.

It''d basically be my BP and our moms. Which is fine I guess, but I was just hoping to have a bunch of girls I hardly see come out...and it''s a whole month before the wedding.

Just venting I guess. What would you do in this situation? I wish it could be a Friday night, but since the BM in college has to drive 2 hours back from school and FI works Saturdays, it can''t. This is seriously bumming me out.

#1- tell her to get over it. i planned a bachelorette party for my best friend''s wedding, and then she moved 8 hrs away, so she just wasn''t able to be there for my bachelorette party. she felt awful, wished she could be there, but got over it pretty quickly.

#2- maybe i''m missing something, but what does FI''s schedule have to do with it? are you doing a combined party or something? my FI left town for the weekend, and i plan on doing the same since his is this weekend.

i totally understand your feeling of being bummed. i had 7 people out of 20 cancel last minute to my bridal shower. my poor mother had worked her a$$ off to make it special, and you know what- i didn''t even miss those 7 people. we had SUCH a great time. you always wish everyone could be there, but to be honest, no matter what it will be special, you''ll have a great time. i kept thinking beforehand how it wouldn''t be the same without everyone there- and oddly enough looking back i had the time of my life and didn''t think twice about it.

 

[sunnyd]

Thanks Lucky. MOH assigned herself the MOH position and has been making everyone''s lives miserable ever since.

Okay maybe that''s an exaggeration but she''s very uncooperative with the rest of my BMs (FI''s 3 sisters).

The only reason we would do 2 would have been because the underage BM couldn''t be there on the original date.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 9/15/2009 2:16:06 PM
Author: charbie

Date: 9/15/2009 1:44:54 PM
Author:sunnyd

I don''t know why I''m sad about this, I know it''s not all about me and people have lives, but the whole situation is getting me down. Earlier this summer, my MOH and I picked October 24th as the perfect night for my BP. The Saturday before the wedding was Halloween, so that wouldn''t work. But one of my BMs has her college homecoming that day, so we thought about doing 2 parties since she''s under 21. But my farking MOH HAS to be there for both or she''ll feel left out.

Moving backwards was the 17th. MOH will be in NY for a wedding.

10th became a no-go because a concert that was cancelled got rescheduled to that date. It''s a band FI idolizes, so there''s no way we''re missing it.

That leaves us with the 3rd, but now half of my invite list won''t be able to go.

It''d basically be my BP and our moms. Which is fine I guess, but I was just hoping to have a bunch of girls I hardly see come out...and it''s a whole month before the wedding.

Just venting I guess. What would you do in this situation? I wish it could be a Friday night, but since the BM in college has to drive 2 hours back from school and FI works Saturdays, it can''t. This is seriously bumming me out.

#1- tell her to get over it. i planned a bachelorette party for my best friend''s wedding, and then she moved 8 hrs away, so she just wasn''t able to be there for my bachelorette party. she felt awful, wished she could be there, but got over it pretty quickly.

#2- maybe i''m missing something, but what does FI''s schedule have to do with it? are you doing a combined party or something? my FI left town for the weekend, and i plan on doing the same since his is this weekend.

i totally understand your feeling of being bummed. i had 7 people out of 20 cancel last minute to my bridal shower. my poor mother had worked her a$$ off to make it special, and you know what- i didn''t even miss those 7 people. we had SUCH a great time. you always wish everyone could be there, but to be honest, no matter what it will be special, you''ll have a great time. i kept thinking beforehand how it wouldn''t be the same without everyone there- and oddly enough looking back i had the time of my life and didn''t think twice about it.

1. She''s kind of a baby like that. It was more of a control thing that she had to be there. I give up.

2. We just wanted to do both parties on the same night. I guess we don''t HAVE to, but it''d be nice.

I know you''re right, I won''t even notice they''re gone. I made up the actual list and it''s 16. So if the 3 that can''t go are the only ones that can''t, I''ll live. Ahhh lunch and fresh air can do wonders!

 

[ladypirate]

Aww, I''m sorry Sunny. I agree, though--I''m sure you''ll have such an awesome time that you won''t even notice the ones that aren''t there!

 

[ice-queen]

Just a thought...you said the 10th won''t work because your fiance''s favorite band is playing. What if your fiance took a buddy to the concert instead? This will allow you to have the bachelorette party you want AND will give your fiance something fun to do while you and your girls are out partying it up

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 9/15/2009 4:07:34 PM
Author: ice-queen
Just a thought...you said the 10th won''t work because your fiance''s favorite band is playing. What if your fiance took a buddy to the concert instead? This will allow you to have the bachelorette party you want AND will give your fiance something fun to do while you and your girls are out partying it up

I wanna see them too.

We''re going with the best man and his wife.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Mine is scheduled over a month before my wedding and quite a few of my friends are not able to attend due to assorted issues - the way I am thinking of it is now this makes my wedding reception all the more exciting because it will be the first time I am able to truly celebrate with some of my friends. Instead of bumming me out, it's actually made me 10 times more excited for my wedding day to arrive

I also highly reccomend spending some one on one time with a few of your girls if you can. You don't officially have to term it a bachelorette night (so that your MOH isn't insulted). I spent a weekend away with one of my bridal party members and

ed it. We had such a great time togther - time to chat and bond. It was awesome. I've bonded with other party members and friends by having low key nights together or nice dinners. By spending time with each person one on one I'm getting to really connect with them - something I wouldn't be able to do out with a large group of people.

AND lastly, if you can get Halloween night to work I bet you could have a heck of time - imagine the dressing up you could do on that night! Then again, I'm kinda a MAJOR fan of Halloween so I am biased

Head up girl, everything will fall into place and I have no doubts you will end up having a simply fabulous time regardless of who is there and when it happens!

 

[packrat]

You''ll have fun, regardless! If I really really wanted it to be a time when everyone could attend, I''d say screw it and designate a day at some point after the wedding. Yeah, it''s a bachelorette party, and I realize if you''re married it can''t be called that, but, it''s an option.

My bachelorette party was me, my bff and 2 girls I didn''t know very well but were friends w/my bff. One of them was married to a friend of ours that I''d dated for a while. Awkward. But you know, alcohol and condom tiaras bring people together.

It''s their loss if they don''t come to your party Sunny!

 

[jcarlylew]

while i don''t have a solution for you... i have tickets to that same show!

but, our good friends wedding is the same night. and ALL of us went to that original show!!

 

[KatyWI]

I know how you feel. I had 5 bridesmaids, but I have a bunch of girlfriends, and at least 20 people were invited to my bachelorette party.

5 came.. even one of my bridesmaids missed it.

The same girls were basically invited to my shower... and 6 came, even though it was local.

Out of 20?! I was a little bummed until I realized that everyone was coming to the wedding... I couldn''t expect them to be constantly available just because *I* was excited about the wedding and someone else decided to throw a party!

So I hope you can put aside your disappointment and enjoy the night for what it will be for the super special people who DO make the effort to join you. I promise you won''t even notice anyone missing!!

 

[gwendolyn]

Sorry you're feeling bummed, honey. Hopefully you'll be able to figure out a way that most off your girls have the option to come so you don't feel depressed going into your bachelorette party. And of course remember that this is just the warm-up to the big party!

 

[sunnyd]

Hehe, Jcar, knowing what I know about your FI, I should have known you''d be there!

Thanks everyone for lifting me back up. I know you''re all right. I''m determined to not let this get me down because I now have another stressor to deal with - MOM.