BTDT moms of two or more- when does it get easier?

[Logan Sapphire]

So my kids will be 2 and 4 in April/May and life is mostly good! Both sleep through the night, although the 2 year old is an early riser (usually 5am if not before). Things are so much better now that sleep is had on a regular basis. We still struggle with his peanut and treenut allergies and some respiratory issues, but for the most part, everyone is enjoying good health.

Life is starting to get easier...the kids still fight a lot, but they are playing together a lot more too. It's sweet to see. My daughter, when not being completely silly on purpose, is very fun to chat with and can hold interesting conversations. My son is talking up a storm too.

If your kids are older, is this the age when things start getting much easier? I am definitely looking forward to being completely done with diapers, though that probably won't be for awhile. Both kids are on the same nap schedule finally so we're not chained to the house.

 

[Puppmom]

I'm interested to read the responses and I bet a lot depends on the age gap. We have two but they're almost 16 years apart. The 16 year old actually makes like EASIER but that's obviously not the norm.

 

[tammy77]

My girls are 7 and 9, 25 months apart. I'm not going to lie, the first two years were HARD! I think it got a LOT easier once they were 4 and 6 and I suspect it will just keep getting a little easier bit by bit until they start to hit puberty. They're able to entertain each other, dress themselves, brush their own teeth, even get their own breakfast (cereal, yogurt, fruit...easy stuff). Emotions run higher and the problems aren't solved as easily (kids can be mean to each other!) but life is good with them! Remind me again why I want to start all over?

 

[Skippy123]

I don't know; I have twins and they keep me on my toes! Maybe when our kids go to mid/high school?

 

[Enerchi]

My kids are now 23, 21 & 18. I am not sure if things get 'easier' but they get 'different'. What is it you are hoping for in terms of 'easy'? They listen, they go to bed, they stop demanding your attention...??

It shifts.

You are currently at the smartest and most loved you will be - enjoy it! Let them adore you, demand of your time, want to be with you --- because it changes and then you become the stupidest, most despised people (DH gets to join the club, FYI!) until they move out.

.... and even then.... my 23 year old is normally the most AMAZING son ever, but if I slip up and offer unsolicited advice, he gives me 1 freebie, then I get reminded of my obnoxiousness on the 2nd piece of advice!

Kids are small and needy for such a short period of time. I miss that soooo much. If I had a time machine, I'd go back to when they were little and spend another day with that and just love them to bits. Oh my... I'm getting teary just thinking of what I miss so much

 

[Loves2Laugh]

I normally lurk but today I wanted to comment to Enerchi and say Thank You! I have a 3 year old and 6 month old and each night I go to bed drained and thinking one day they'll be more dependant and it won't be so tiring. I needed to hear your comment. It makes me appreciate the age they're at and that indeed this will be a blink of an eye and I too will be wishing to have this time back. Thank you- I can't wait to get home to my LO's with little bit of a new perspective.

 

[Enerchi]

I normally lurk but today I wanted to comment to Enerchi and say Thank You! I have a 3 year old and 6 month old and each night I go to bed drained and thinking one day they'll be more dependant and it won't be so tiring. I needed to hear your comment. It makes me appreciate the age they're at and that indeed this will be a blink of an eye and I too will be wishing to have this time back. Thank you- I can't wait to get home to my LO's with little bit of a new perspective.

Thanks, loves2laugh! I always wonder what impression an "old mom" gives when I share my thoughts, so thank YOU so much for your uplifting feed back to me!

Interestingly enough, I had this VERY SAME conversation with a few coworkers just last week. They are mom's of 2 each (4 & 6; 2 & 5) and I shared the above thought - they are small for such a short time, enjoy it. There will be time to sleep and clean later in life, but this passes much too quickly and looking back now, I wish I had been more focused and spent MORE "mom time" with them and did play more often. You can't get those moments back so please soak them up now!

(I get teary when I think like this. It makes me sad how much I miss my kids being little )

 

[Dreamer_D]

I normally lurk but today I wanted to comment to Enerchi and say Thank You! I have a 3 year old and 6 month old and each night I go to bed drained and thinking one day they'll be more dependant and it won't be so tiring. I needed to hear your comment. It makes me appreciate the age they're at and that indeed this will be a blink of an eye and I too will be wishing to have this time back. Thank you- I can't wait to get home to my LO's with little bit of a new perspective.

Thanks, loves2laugh! I always wonder what impression an "old mom" gives when I share my thoughts, so thank YOU so much for your uplifting feed back to me!

Interestingly enough, I had this VERY SAME conversation with a few coworkers just last week. They are mom's of 2 each (4 & 6; 2 & 5) and I shared the above thought - they are small for such a short time, enjoy it. There will be time to sleep and clean later in life, but this passes much too quickly and looking back now, I wish I had been more focused and spent MORE "mom time" with them and did play more often. You can't get those moments back so please soak them up now!

(I get teary when I think like this. It makes me sad how much I miss my kids being little )

Enerchi you are breaking my heart here! God I feel the passing of time so poignantly now that I am a mother. I feel like the last three years of my life have flown by so fast. No lie, kids are so much work, more than I ever thought (I didn't think about it much I guess). At the same time I love babies so much. Not other people's babies but my own babies are my favourite thing. And they grow up so fast I am going to feel just like you in 20 years, I know it!

My kids are three and 7 months and like L2L I find it pretty tiring. But I am trying to savour more. I read an article that talked about those moments of sublime bliss you can have as a parent, that transport you outside of time. The author called is "kairos", and when I have a moment like that -- this morning when my very independent 3 year old climbed in my lap, pretty much whenever my 7 month old looks at me like I am THE best and coolest and most awesome person in the universe! -- I am trying to make mental note ("Kairos!" I say to myself) and take a moment to be present, in the moment, mindful. It makes a big difference I am finding, those moments and making special note of them.

I don't have older kids, but I am finding it easier with two every day. I think others have said this, but the older one has been by far the more challenging child. Something clicked for him in the last few months and a weight lifted off our family. Life is much easier than it was in those first 6 months were we were basically just surviving.

 

[Echidna]

You are currently at the smartest and most loved you will be - enjoy it! Let them adore you, demand of your time, want to be with you --- because it changes and then you become the stupidest, most despised people (DH gets to join the club, FYI!) until they move out.

.... and even then.... my 23 year old is normally the most AMAZING son ever, but if I slip up and offer unsolicited advice, he gives me 1 freebie, then I get reminded of my obnoxiousness on the 2nd piece of advice!

Enerchi, now that I'm a ripe "old" 28 year old I KNOW that my mum is the smartest person alive. I will probably love her the MOST when I have children of my own and realise what commitment and dedication she had to raise me and my brother and sister. Don't you worry; your time in the sun will come back around. Your babies will be able to vocalise their thanks to you this time, though

PS. The reason we get annoyed with the unsolicited advice? We know it's RIGHT

 

[Enerchi]

I normally lurk but today I wanted to comment to Enerchi and say Thank You! I have a 3 year old and 6 month old and each night I go to bed drained and thinking one day they'll be more dependant and it won't be so tiring. I needed to hear your comment. It makes me appreciate the age they're at and that indeed this will be a blink of an eye and I too will be wishing to have this time back. Thank you- I can't wait to get home to my LO's with little bit of a new perspective.

Thanks, loves2laugh! I always wonder what impression an "old mom" gives when I share my thoughts, so thank YOU so much for your uplifting feed back to me!

Interestingly enough, I had this VERY SAME conversation with a few coworkers just last week. They are mom's of 2 each (4 & 6; 2 & 5) and I shared the above thought - they are small for such a short time, enjoy it. There will be time to sleep and clean later in life, but this passes much too quickly and looking back now, I wish I had been more focused and spent MORE "mom time" with them and did play more often. You can't get those moments back so please soak them up now!

(I get teary when I think like this. It makes me sad how much I miss my kids being little )

Enerchi you are breaking my heart here! God I feel the passing of time so poignantly now that I am a mother. I feel like the last three years of my life have flown by so fast. No lie, kids are so much work, more than I ever thought (I didn't think about it much I guess). At the same time I love babies so much. Not other people's babies but my own babies are my favourite thing. And they grow up so fast I am going to feel just like you in 20 years, I know it!

My kids are three and 7 months and like L2L I find it pretty tiring. But I am trying to savour more. I read an article that talked about those moments of sublime bliss you can have as a parent, that transport you outside of time. The author called is "kairos", and when I have a moment like that -- this morning when my very independent 3 year old climbed in my lap, pretty much whenever my 7 month old looks at me like I am THE best and coolest and most awesome person in the universe! -- I am trying to make mental note ("Kairos!" I say to myself) and take a moment to be present, in the moment, mindful. It makes a big difference I am finding, those moments and making special note of them.

I don't have older kids, but I am finding it easier with two every day. I think others have said this, but the older one has been by far the more challenging child. Something clicked for him in the last few months and a weight lifted off our family. Life is much easier than it was in those first 6 months were we were basically just surviving.

It does fly by. Last night my DH had started transferring old VHS tapes to the computer then they will be put on a DVD. We started with tapes of when my oldest was a newborn (well, 9 days old, as the 'peas porridge hot' saying goes) and I see my grandmother (deceased x 18+ years....) and I just broke down in tears! It was so emotional seeing them so young and innocent and sweet and "mine". I had such a hard time seeing the movies, yet I couldn't turn away. I miss that time so much.

Being in the thick of young babies/children is hard to believe it does get easier and there will be time for yourself again! There will be... it settles... and then there are new challenges. The best part is as they grow, you see them become independant and can tell that the lessons and values you have taught them, have 'stuck' and they are good people. That's probably the best thing to watch happen.

(but really - spend as MUCH time in your KAIRO's as you can! love them to bits now! Stock up on hugs )

 

[Enerchi]

You are currently at the smartest and most loved you will be - enjoy it! Let them adore you, demand of your time, want to be with you --- because it changes and then you become the stupidest, most despised people (DH gets to join the club, FYI!) until they move out.

.... and even then.... my 23 year old is normally the most AMAZING son ever, but if I slip up and offer unsolicited advice, he gives me 1 freebie, then I get reminded of my obnoxiousness on the 2nd piece of advice!

Enerchi, now that I'm a ripe "old" 28 year old I KNOW that my mum is the smartest person alive. I will probably love her the MOST when I have children of my own and realise what commitment and dedication she had to raise me and my brother and sister. Don't you worry; your time in the sun will come back around. Your babies will be able to vocalise their thanks to you this time, though

PS. The reason we get annoyed with the unsolicited advice? We know it's RIGHT

Yup! My mother and father suddenly learned a remarkable amount of valuable information, once my first child was born. Why weren't they smarter when I was a teenager? - cuz they sure blew me away in my late 20's/30's!!!

Advice is only welcome when it's asked for and even then, people usually only want to hear that they are right!

Now that we have our middle son living at home with us again, I think he's pretty shocked by how much M&D have come around in the last 6 months. Suddenly, we are little less idiotic and have the occasional "brilliant thought" that he agrees with... who knew??

 

[janlwf]

I, too, am an older Mom with my kids at 22 and 19 and want to tell you to savour every moment, every smile, because they are only young once but the truth is ..it was hard.

There were days that I wasn't the picture perfect Mom that I so wanted to be. I was sleep deprived, harried, busy organizing a million things, cooking, cleaning, wiping dirty bums and snotty noses... I guess its so much easier to look back at the happiest memories, those days when they curled up in your lap and went to sleep or and kissed and hugged you without prompting or giggling and playing with their sibling.

So now when I see a Mom with younger kids, I smile... tell her that its hard, but it does get easier, she will get to read a book (without pictures!), have an uninterrupted bubble bath eventually and for now ...Carry on warrior mom, six hours till bedtime!

 

[qtiekiki]

My kids are 2 and 3.5. And I feel like it never get easier. I mean it gets easier for one thing, then other things come up. It's part of parenthood and growing. I just try to live in the moment because they grow up so fast.