rockzilla
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2006
- Messages
- 1,286
My fiance and I have decided on having 3 attendants each. This is to keep costs down, keep the wedding less formal, and match up both sides.
That being said, I have 3 slots and 4 potential bridesmaids. This is how it breaks down:
(I know its kind of offensive that I have given my good friends numbers instead of names, but I''m trying to keep it as anonymous/easy to understand as possible!)
1. Best friend since 7th grade, lives here in SF (wedding will be in SoCal, but I''m in SF for a few more months) She is definitely MOH, no questions.
2. Good friend from high school, lives on the east coast, is getting married this summer but a very small, backyard wedding (no attendants, no walking down the aisle, etc, only me and friend #1 from HS will be there as friends). She''s already been a bridesmaid a couple of times, don''t know for sure if she''d be into it (kind of a non-traditional gal) plus would be difficult from 3,000 miles away but not impossible.
3. Good friend from college, lived in the same dorm with me - the only candidate actually IN LA. Also, this girl gets stuff DONE...not that the MOH wouldn''t, but she is really on top of things, is a major planner, and is located near the wedding and she''d be really excited about getting involved with stuff.
4. Other friend from college - she lives in Europe right now but is up in the air where she''ll be living at the time of the wedding. She has said she''ll come back for it. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding last year, and I think she''s expecting (hoping more appropriate) to be asked this time. But, at the time she asked me, I remember thinking "wow this is really nice, but if I were getting married I probably would not have asked her"
So, out of friends 2, 3, and 4, I have to choose two to ask to be bridesmaids. If I were choosing in terms of importance to me, I would likely pick 2 & 3 (though 4 and I have gotten closer since her wedding). But, I do think that #4 would be much more excited about it, whereas #2 might just say yes out of obligation. I think I will ask friend 3 regardless, as I think I''d go crazy with all of my bridesmaids in different parts of the world and nooone local.
Right now, my plan is to see #2 next week when I am back home, and just tell her since she''s really important to me, I''d love for her to be involved in the wedding in some way - but if she doesn''t want the hassle of buying a dress, etc that I totally understand and won''t feel offended. Then, depending on her answer, I can decide whether or not to ask friend #4.
Is this OK? There is no chance of friend #4 finding out - they''ve never met each other - so she won''t think she''s the "second choice" which she really isn''t - if we were having 4, she''d definitely be asked.
That being said, I have 3 slots and 4 potential bridesmaids. This is how it breaks down:
(I know its kind of offensive that I have given my good friends numbers instead of names, but I''m trying to keep it as anonymous/easy to understand as possible!)
1. Best friend since 7th grade, lives here in SF (wedding will be in SoCal, but I''m in SF for a few more months) She is definitely MOH, no questions.
2. Good friend from high school, lives on the east coast, is getting married this summer but a very small, backyard wedding (no attendants, no walking down the aisle, etc, only me and friend #1 from HS will be there as friends). She''s already been a bridesmaid a couple of times, don''t know for sure if she''d be into it (kind of a non-traditional gal) plus would be difficult from 3,000 miles away but not impossible.
3. Good friend from college, lived in the same dorm with me - the only candidate actually IN LA. Also, this girl gets stuff DONE...not that the MOH wouldn''t, but she is really on top of things, is a major planner, and is located near the wedding and she''d be really excited about getting involved with stuff.
4. Other friend from college - she lives in Europe right now but is up in the air where she''ll be living at the time of the wedding. She has said she''ll come back for it. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding last year, and I think she''s expecting (hoping more appropriate) to be asked this time. But, at the time she asked me, I remember thinking "wow this is really nice, but if I were getting married I probably would not have asked her"
So, out of friends 2, 3, and 4, I have to choose two to ask to be bridesmaids. If I were choosing in terms of importance to me, I would likely pick 2 & 3 (though 4 and I have gotten closer since her wedding). But, I do think that #4 would be much more excited about it, whereas #2 might just say yes out of obligation. I think I will ask friend 3 regardless, as I think I''d go crazy with all of my bridesmaids in different parts of the world and nooone local.
Right now, my plan is to see #2 next week when I am back home, and just tell her since she''s really important to me, I''d love for her to be involved in the wedding in some way - but if she doesn''t want the hassle of buying a dress, etc that I totally understand and won''t feel offended. Then, depending on her answer, I can decide whether or not to ask friend #4.
Is this OK? There is no chance of friend #4 finding out - they''ve never met each other - so she won''t think she''s the "second choice" which she really isn''t - if we were having 4, she''d definitely be asked.
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