Bridesmaid in distress.

[GettingDesperate905]

Hi everyone.
I am supposed to be in a friend''s wedding this summer, and the unexpected has happened. I''ve been laid off... with still hundreds of dollars to spend on the wedding. Right now I''m having a financial panic about it, as I dont want to let anyone down.
Also, I had two interviews on Friday morning for new jobs, both of which involve working ocassional saturdays. I''m praying to get one of those two jobs, but I''m also concerned about "what if" I get them. I have three events centered around this wedding on three upcoming saturdays. If I get one of the jobs, I''m worried that I''d either need to leave a really bad impression on my new employer, or let one of my best friends down.
Does anyone have any advice on walking this mine field?
I ABSOLUTELY want to be in the wedding and backing down is just not an option for me, so any suggestions (and job dust*****) would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks ladies

 

[Pushin40]

Hey - not too much to say since backing out is not an option, so....

***********JOB DUST to ya!!!!**********

 

[merilenda]

Have you talked to your friend about your situation? I would think that she would be understanding. Maybe if one of these jobs hires you, you can let them know right away that you can''t work on the Saturday of the wedding definitely. And then see what their expectations are regarding the other Saturdays. Maybe everyone could come to a compromise where you might miss one of the Saturday wedding events, but be there on the actual day?

Good luck to you! As someone who is on the job market right now, I know how frustrating it is!

 

[laughwithme]

In terms of the money issue, if you cannot afford it, you need to talk with the bride. What are the things that still cost $$$? If its bachelorette party or bridal shower, the other girls MAY be willing to help you out - if my friend was laid off, I would cover for her. If its your dress, the bride may be able to help out - I paid 3/4 of the dress for my nieces because their family is struggling and their presence in my wedding meant more to me than that cash.

The job thing is a bit more tricky. You may need to do some negotiating. I would be upfront as SOON as you get a callback from an employer that you have XYZ scheduled on these days, and could you work out a schedule favorable to both parties so that you can attend those events? Offer to put in extra hours un-paid or in undesirable shifts. If they can''t let you off for one or two shifts, contact the bride and offer to make it up to her in some other way - if you miss her bridal shower, take her out for a couple drinks and one on one time. You''ll need to be creative, but you can work this out.

Good luck to you!

 

[Clairitek]

Let the new job know as soon as you''re hired that you have a commitment you can''t get out of for the wedding day. They feel them out about the other two events. My husband had just switched jobs when we were gearing up to get married. He started his current one a month before the wedding. He just told them that he had the plans and then our honeymoon plans later in the summer. It wasn''t an issue. He just ended up going in the hole for paid time off.

As far as the money goes, as Laughwithme suggested, I would talk it out with the bride or other BMs depending on what items you still have to pay for. If its hair/make-up/wedding accessories/dress/shoes, talk to the bride. Otherwise talk to the MOH or shower/bachelorette party organizers about the other stuff. A similar situation happened with one of the BMs for a wedding where I was the MOH. She spoke to me privately about it and we worked out a solution. I was happy to help her and knew that it was more important for her to be there than for money to be an issue.

 

[Amzizzle]

I had my MOH back out because of family and financial issues,and just let me tell you this DO NOT BACK OUT! I offered to pay for my friend and the other BM''s offered to take over responsibilities (like planning the parties) and she still backed out.I was o.k with it for awhile,but then less then a week later most of her issues were irrelevant and there was no reason for her to of backed out.I was upset and embarrassed,and I don''t think we have been the same since.

My thing is be open and honest with her about your concerns,and take a day or two to breather before you do anything hasty.best of luck with the jobs though.I''m crossing my fingers for you.

 

[GettingDesperate905]

Hey ladies.
Just thought i would update on my old post, as i got so busy i didnt before. I got a new job working ovenights, and have since been called back to my day job as well! So now im working full time days and part time overnights! So life is insane rightnow! Thanks for the super effective job dust ladies!