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Bridesmaid dress drama/ question

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DMBFiredancer

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Jan 12, 2008
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Did you have a bridesmaid who just didnt like the dress you picked? 2 out of four of mine really liked it, but the other 2 (who are my sisters and pains in the a$$es sometimes anyway) just said they dint like it without even trying it on yet. they are in the process of trying them on and sending me pics now... i still need to find out EXACTLY what they dont like...they are at the store now and im just freaking out a bit because i though this stress was done and over for me

so what would you say?

"sorry but this is the one i picked and you have to wear it?"

how does this part work? i want everyone to be comfy but i also am tired of looking at bridesmaid dresses and thought i finally found one...i dont think i will ever satisfy everyone so do i just put my foot down?
 

Smurfysmiles

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 30, 2007
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3,938
since it is two and two maybe you could let the 2 of the them pick out a second dress in the same color they like? otherwise yes, put your foot down and say sorry but this is what i picked. i know it''s hard to do, i had to deal with this for one bridesmaid and i felt bad afterwards but i know for her wedding she would do the same thing. hopefully this is the end of your drama :)
 

Deelight

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Oct 4, 2007
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I would look at it based on a few things:

The Issue What is the problem with it, is it fixable to avoid said problem. If for example like me they are tall and said dress is to short and doesn''t cover enough to be respectable then I would work something out if it is they don''t like the colour or something else trivial depending on the amount of effort, time and my mood - tough.


Most BM''s don''t get to pick they get told to buy said dress and wear it.


It is hard to say without knowing the exact issue ;-)
 

violet3

Ideal_Rock
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Dec 18, 2007
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I would relax until you see the pictures. If they look horrible in it i would say find a different dress....but i am sure they are NOT going to look horrible. If you like the way it looks on them, then i would (unfortunately) just tell them that''s what they''ll be wearing.

I know it can be really hard, but i was in a wedding where the bride let us pick (there were only two of us mind you) and she kept sending us dresses, which were all very pretty. I liked any/all of them and would have worn whatever she chose. The other bridesmaid (like your sisters) "just didn''t like" most of them. It drove my friend, the bride crazy. She even BOUGHT US DRESSES and brought them to us to try - they were blue and beautiful - the other bridesmaid said something like "well, it''s not my taste, but i''ll wear it...." It made the bride so upset, she just found a dress, picked it, and that was that (the dress we wore was awesome BTW).

Allowing some choice is nice, but if your sisters are the kind that are going to make the process difficult by giving them an opinion, just don''t give them one. You shouldn''t have to be really stressed out trying to please your bridesmaids - shouldn''t they be helping to make things easier for you?

*** If they are being difficult and you think it would be easier, you could pick a color that offers a few different styles? (i am having Mori Lee dresses in one color, and any style they want to pick -- i know alfred angelo also has many many to choose from)
 

FrekeChild

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Dec 14, 2007
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And this is one of the reasons I''m not going to have BMs.

When I was in my brother''s wedding, the bride (my SIL) picked out a horrible Bill Levkoff dress in yellow with orange undertones, and we had to wear it. Certainly no choice in the matter, and I would have never thought to press the issue. It was what she wanted, so she got it.

I picked out my MOH''s dress--black satin V neck, knee length, Calvin Klein. She loved it. Shoes are another situation altogether though.


I''d basically tell them to shove it or you''ll stick them in something from the 80s with big poofy sleeves.
 

DMBFiredancer

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
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595
Thanks so much ladies...I''m still waiting to hear the exact cause of their issue. I''m here in California while they are in New Jersey (one of the 2 who liked it is here in CA with me) so I''m just waiting to see. I even found one that was inexpensive ($99 at Macy''s) to help cut costs a bit.
They decided to go get lunch before trying them on - I am hoping a few beers might help them like the dress more once its on ;-) Luckily my MOH who likes the dress is with them....I''ll keep you posted!

Also, I didnt want bridesmaids from the start for this reason, just my one sis as MOH, but once my mom caught wind of that it was drama, drama, drama so I decided to fold on that issue and just have them all in it.
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Wow! Only $99?! My Bill Levkoff nasty thing was $200. Not to mention shoes and all that... Your BMs are being a PITA!! I hope they like it!! I''ll keep my fingers crossed!!!
 

Mediterranean

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Jan 26, 2008
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578
Date: 3/21/2009 2:48:10 PM
Author: FrekeChild
Wow! Only $99?! My Bill Levkoff nasty thing was $200. Not to mention shoes and all that... Your BMs are being a PITA!! I hope they like it!! I''ll keep my fingers crossed!!!
Yeah, I''d pretty much wear a potato sack if I could get away with paying less than $100 to be someone''s bridesmaid. If they truly hate it, and they balk at the expense of buying a second dress, is there a way to compromise and say that they only have to wear it for the ceremony and the formal portraits and then they can change into whatever they like for the rest of the night?


This only happened to me once -- it was back in the 1990''s and those little charmeuse slip-dresses with spaghetti straps were incredibly popular, so one of our friends made those her BM dress. I don''t know how familiar you are with that dress style and material, but it''s like a freakin'' NIGHTIE. Skinny little spaghetti straps that criss crossed in the back and thin, thin, wispy material--those two features made corsets and strapless bras impossible. Those of us who were thin and boobless enough to even get away with wearing it? We had to tape down our nipples to keep it from being obscene. And God help the other bridesmaids who actually weren''t built like Peter Pan.

If it''s something like that, I''d give them a pass, but if they just don''t like the style, I''d give them the option of changing after the BP makes the entrance at the reception (if you''re even doing that. If not, they can change after the portraits, before the reception).
 

Kelli

Ideal_Rock
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May 27, 2008
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Date: 3/21/2009 2:06:09 PM
Author: Deelight
I would look at it based on a few things:

The Issue What is the problem with it, is it fixable to avoid said problem. If for example like me they are tall and said dress is to short and doesn''t cover enough to be respectable then I would work something out if it is they don''t like the colour or something else trivial depending on the amount of effort, time and my mood - tough.


Most BM''s don''t get to pick they get told to buy said dress and wear it.


It is hard to say without knowing the exact issue ;-)
I agree.
 

DMBFiredancer

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
595
one of the 2 loved it when she finally put it on (figures!) but the other just didnt like the color and how it fit on top....thats easy - get it altered! i just told her the color is not negotiable - its a beach wedding and i like a beachy blue!

phhhew. glad thats over with!

the great thing is that with a 20% coupon they had, they came to about $80 bucks! wow! NOBODY should be complaining at all!

plus...they''ve got it EAAAASSSSYYYY for shoes - white flip flops which i may get them as part of their gifts - a nice pair of comfy reefs if i can find a nice enough pair.

this is the dress by the way - in the laguna blue color which is even nicer in person.


(couldn''t figure out how to just post the pic)

thank you again for helping me though my near drama...you guys are so great here!
 

DMBsGirl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 29, 2006
Messages
1,589
i also wanted my bm''s to be comfortable and happy with what they were wearing, so i let them all get diff dresses in the same color and designer. i gave each of them about 10 choices, and one of them had the nerve to ask if there were any more choices. the point is, some people are never happy, so this might be one of those times that you just have to put your foot down. if this is the dress you like and want your girls to be uniform then you might have to be tough on this one.
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
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19,456
Um. I think that dress is SUPER CUTE, and I'd be THRILLED to wear that as a BM. Anyone that complains about that dress...send them here. Or here.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
I love the dress that you picked-it looks fab. My MOH (sister) loved one dress and the other two hated it, so they all went shopping again and found one that they all loved so luckily there weren''t too many problems. Plus the one they picked in the end I can order from the US so I save over €700
 

honey22

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 28, 2007
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4,458
The dress is gorgeous and for that price they should''t be complaining about anything! Even if they never wear it again, they havn''t spent a fortune on it, and for your big day, you would think they would just suck it up and wear the dress with a smile on their faces - sheesh!
 
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